Remember the series I did, Cock-Blocking – It’s Raw Male Energy? Well I am back on this top with another way this manifests.
Remember my client who is trying to break her pattern of attraction to lousy men? You guys gave her great advice but she does not fare so well with her friends who tell her things like this:
“Oh, you’ll never be happy with a nice guy. That drug addict / not quite divorced / manic-depressive guy is so much better for you. I’m just so afraid you are going to settle, hon…”
This is a Saturn Neptune flavored cock-block. It is the obscure reality, confuse and undermine technique which is as sneaky as it is deadly.
Know anyone like this?
Uh? We call this the logical fallacy of the “false dichotomy”. It’s an either/or, this/that set up. Nothing less than all or nothing–on their terms. Bet those “friends” have never heard of that idea!
Most likely the “friends” aren’t interested in this person’s happiness. Most likely ARE interested in having someone they can swap dramas with and not have to face up to their own addictions to drama. Most likely aren’t interested in anyone with a backbone of their own. That’d be too threatening.
holy wow. And that is a friend?
I have a girlfriend who likes the uranus bad boys. She’s done dating for a long time after the last one. She’s now looking for a mature man, ie and adult that has some quirks but doesn’t live his life for the quirks.
There are guys out there. They’ve choosen a different path and can be very satisfying to a woman like her that is looking for a different pattern. Some satisfaction of the old has to come into play though. It can be through a healthier choice though, awareness helps alot.
no, thank god!
yeah try being the “reciever” on the hand me down list. AS long as *** could date them first, and then, if *** didn’t want them then *** would pass em down to me. Then i could take a look and see if i wanted him.. LOL, of course i don’t want him after *** has slobbered all over him!
Needn’t i say, we are not friends anymore.
yes, one told me that mr. date rape was the best thing i’ve found so far. (i am not joking.) i just cannot listen to her opinion on men and expect to get anything useful out of it.
((wyrdling)) that is horrendous.
pretty much….
*sigh*
(thanks : )
You know, I always thought cock blocking was a female thing, I’ve never really seen my guy friends do it. Jealousy at someone else’s happiness. A girl I met yesterday talked to me about having found a man she really liked and her best friend praising her fortune and then sleeping with him the next day. Or subtly undermining a friend, for some reason that bad movie with Melissa Joan Hart comes to mind, where her friend uses covert shit talking to take her candy. I’ve never seen guys use the same kind of complicated backstabbing.
Pretty sensational stuff Elsa; Cock blocking. I was getting ready for a good long read. I kind of agree with what the friend has written. However its ok to attract the right kind of “not quite divorced” guy.
That is there are men who have got on top of their drug addctions and bi polar disorder. The ok bad guy will still be more attractive than anything else. It can be about discenment and evolution in oneself that can begin to attract a better kind of ‘bad guy’
kingsley
An astrologer friend of mine wrote that once we start losing weight, some of the friends will leave you because they loved your old miserable self and not the new confident “you”… which makes a lot of sense because so many people “feed” on your being miserable in the first place.
And I’ve seen it so many times. I don’t know if that applies to “cock-blocking” or not but obviously some so-called “friends” want you to be unhappy and it takes guts to get rid of them but hey, they suck your energy. It’s hard, for an Aquarian like me, as I go the distance for friendship but at a certain point in time (Saturn or Pluto transit combined with a healthy dose of Mars) one’s gotta do it for one’s happiness.
Wow. Why would anyone be afraid of someone settling? Yes settling for the wrong man sure.. but as if the friend you are talking to is going to pick some boring man in the first place. My guideline.. Am I happy and thriving? If I am then I’m fine and the man is good for me. Period.
what’s familiar to me there is that i do have friends who get worried about my “settling” — or have verbalized this to me–
this such a pervasive female…. tactic.
i don’t know what i think of it. Sometimes people (i.e. romantic partners) enter our lives and we are with them and yeah it might not be FOREVAHHHHHH
but that doesn’t mean we are settling. There is much more to this, to relationships than either 1. settling or 2. finding the man of our dreams
there is grey area, there is healing, there is work to be done
oops is this my saturn/neptune talking 😉
Well my friends don’t say this about men b/c I was married to the bad boy BUT it has been said to me when i think about moving into a simpler life that is something I would enjoy rather than a life that looks ‘cool and impressive’ to the rest of the world.
It looks great to them b/c they all have this fantasy of how ‘glamerous/independent’ it would be to have a career. And they tell me this while they are still at home in their sweats at 3 pm talking on the phone to their other stay at home friends while i’ve been at work since 7 a.m
There is a human Being in here not just a human Doing even with all of the capricorn.
Just cause i am pulling off doesn’t mean it feeds my soul.