Black Moon Lilith and the Sun in Synastry

best friends darknessWhen Black Moon Lilith and the Sun come together in a synastry chart, the effects are written in bold strokes. Depending on the type of aspect the who points make, the impact could be deeply healing, completely maddening, or some mixture of the two. So if you see the Sun and Lilith in aspect in synastry, what do you need to know?

·        Healing, once and for all. When Lilith and the Sun make a positive aspect like a trine or sextile, there is a potential for real, powerful healing. The Sun’s warm rays shine down upon Lilith’s tired face and she feels seen, truly seen. The Lilith person finally feels validated, likely for the first time. In turn, the Sun person shares their authenticity and warmth and feels gratitude for being able to connect in such a deep, sincere way. This connection can knit a couple together in profound and long-lasting ways.

·        Projecting Darkness. Not all aspects are easy. A conjunction, square, or especially an opposition can have a very different effect. Here, the Sun person fully inhabits their scorching rays, and the Lilith person stays in shadow. The Sun person may project upon the Lilith person, keeping them in shadow and blaming them for not standing in the light. Lilith, hurt and outraged, will either withdraw into their darkness or lash out, refusing to carry another’s shadow. This can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings on both sides.

·        Perfectly Imperfect. Of course, not everything is that black and white. What if one person’s Lilith opposes the other’s Sun, but that person’s Lilith trines the first person’s Venus? Or what about a thousand other mitigating factors? Then we have a mix of both. Sometimes Lilith feels seen and loved for who she is, and sometimes she feels judged or sidelined. Sometimes the Sun feels magnanimous and warm, and sometimes it feels repulsed and judgmental. It’s in these configurations that we are able to both see what we have to work on and enjoy the fruits of our labor. The Sun person works on creating a safe, warm space for the Lilith person to be themselves, and the Lilith person works on frank and loving self-disclosure. Sometimes they’ll fail. But more often, they’ll succeed. And when they do, it will bring them even closer.

Though the nature of the relationship depends on the whole chart, the profound nature of this aspect is undeniable. With work, honestly, and a real willingness to see each other’s point of view, this aspect can become the magic glue that holds the couple together for life.

Do you and your partner have the Sun and Lilith in aspect? What is it like?

15 thoughts on “Black Moon Lilith and the Sun in Synastry”

  1. Interesting article Midara. I have some experience of this aspect that I’m not too proud of but learnt a lot as a result. My Venus Mars and bml are all conjunct within one degree. A few years back I met a guy online who confirmed he was single. I eventually found out he was engaged then made the mistake to continue seeing him as feelings had started to develop. Transit Pluto was squaring my Venus/Mars/Lilith at the time. The fiancé inevitably found out about me and everything came to abrupt end, including the engagement. The fiancés sun was conjunct my Venus/Mars/Lilith to the exact degree, so she was also experiencing the Pluto square transit. I definitely was cast as the bad woman who ruined the perfect relationship even though he had been cheating on her for years (which I subsequently found out), but I was the catalyst that brought it all out into the open. I’m still coming to terms with it all and the part I played in ending a long serious relationship, but I hope that maybe on some level the fiancé will become a stronger person in the end and things will work out better for her in the long run.

    1. Wow,what a dynamic life lesson, Anon! I read your story three times and felt it deeply. Thx for sharing it. You are a remarkable woman! And he is despicable.

  2. Excellent interpretation of this aspect! I have experienced this myself. My Sun is Conjunct his Lilith EXACT. Just like Anon, I found out that I was the “Other Woman” unbeknownst to me! I also continued the relationship after some break-ups and reconciliations for more than 2 years. His wife eventually found out about me and they divorced. He also had a history of infidelity prior to his relationship with me. We are together now with serious plans for the future. There are other strong astrological factors that have kept us going. Midara, I’m going to get your report soon!

  3. My sun is conjunct the other persons lilith. I am the other woman, a destructive role i never signed up for for the long run.

  4. I’ve also had my Lilith conjunct to the sun and was unknowingly the other woman! It was, emotionally, a very unhealthy situation and just like the other posts I didn’t walk away soon enough!

  5. I am wondering how this works: in progressed synastry it turned my lilith is sextile partners sun.
    Is it ‘once the other woman’, ‘allways the other woman’, or can it change…
    Or will the energy allways stay between 2 people when this is in synastry? Just curious who can tell me?

  6. is it H21 BML you guys use? really interesting re the sun … got me thinking about the moon and chiron … other big points in the chart … please write that book!!!lol!!

  7. Hi, am returning to astrology after over 20 years so am a bit rusty. Am in a new relationship with a fabulously compatible combined chart and am looking at Lilith which I haven’t really looked at before.
    We have Lilith (his) conjunct Sun (mine).
    He is someone who was a special friend when I was a teen and I had a huge crush on for years. We hadnt seen each other for over 30 years until he contacted me out of the blue last year.
    We had both been in very long relationships with communication and sexual blocks with partners who sapped our confidence and ultimately broke our hearts in different ways. Together we are finding ourselves again, we are completely open, honest and commited to supporting each other. We have fabulous loving sex where both of us are finally expressing ourselves fully.
    Re: the ‘other woman’ aspect: He was very recently seperated when we first met again and is still awaiting divorce papers so although I’m not ‘the other woman’ legally he’s still married so technically I am!

    How would you interpret our Lilith aspect? Thanks for any light you can shed.

  8. His Sun sextiles my Lilith. After getting back together after a forty-year hiatus (!!) I was able to tell him some things from the past that healed both of us.
    But his Lilith squares my Eros. Still need to work that one out.

  9. In my case, his lilith conjuct my sun and my lilith conjuct his venys. We also have many other aspects of obsession. Good aspects too ,like DW venus conjuct mercury or venys in aspect with saturn and pluto. We also have mutual aspects in natal charts e.g he has saturn opposition pluto and I saturn conjuct pluto est..
    He was in serious afair when we first met and he flert me a lot, it was hard but I manage and kept a distance and nothing happen.
    He got married and few months later divorced. I contined to keep a distance even if I would like to be with him and he is trying to be close to me, sinsierly . Things are compicated because we are colluges and our chemistry is excellend through everyday cooperations. But he is a supervisor so things are really tight.
    It is a knowh “secret” our great sympathy. Still I keep a very austere behavior, he is much more relaxed.
    So through these aspect I was “the other woman” and we was keen in a “secret affair” something that never happen.. everything is a free will.
    I had the stregth to said “no” to that siren and keep my limits tight. So did he, while l he was married. It wasnt easy I asure you.I hope for the best to be honest…

  10. My Sun conjunct his Black moon Lilith. We had an on and off relationship for two years and I was the other women without knowing, it was very sad when I found out. Very traumatic and spiritually demonic relationship, but transformative though for both part.

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