Blows the Attraction Theory All to Hell

attractionI have always been suspect of the theory that like attracts like. I do not deny this phenomenon exists but if it is to be a rule then it should work every time – It should pass every test which it does not.

I have used the example of the heart surgeon who attracts people with bad hearts of the hairdresser who see more then her share of people with bad haircuts to illustrate my idea that people hook up for many reasons, not just because they are like. In fact they frequently come together because they are not alike and this blog is perfect example.

Now I am not an intellectual. I just aren’t although I attract them. For example roughly 30% of my clients are sporting a PhD in something and that has got to mean something.

Back to that conversation I had with Claire-France Perez regarding the elements and how people of different types can struggle to connect, she felt me my weakest functioning was on the intellectual level and I agree.

I get by. I write which is an intellectual pursuit but I am far more developed in the other areas so I imagine the intellectual who hires me does not want to talk to yet another intellectual. Instead they are looking to develop or merely discover functions where they may have deficit but I am loaded for bear and I think having this conscious is great for all involved.

Who do you attract that is NOT like you? And who are you attracted to… who has the bits you might lack?

19 thoughts on “Blows the Attraction Theory All to Hell”

  1. I’m sometimes… not often… but sometimes attracted to bundles of energy. Or maybe they’re attracted to me.

    I’m a bit of a tortoise, and every so often some chickadee will land on my shell and be all COMPLETELY delighted at how restful it is to be there. 🙂 While I gaze in vague amazement at the sheer vivacity of it all, and then I go take a nap.

  2. I love conservative homebody types, even though I come across as flamboyant and daring. I’m so yang I need that yin energy to balance me out.

  3. hah hah hah.
    too true.
    i really like people who stabilize me. give me support. help me focus.

    i come here for the stories and the clarity 😉

    and there’s different kinds of knowing. there’s facts and analysis and whatnot (mercury) and then there’s underlying principles (jupiter, i think.) you seem to get a lot of those really well, in my opinion. about people. and people are really squirrely critters so that’s darn useful.

  4. I like charismatic types (Mars in Sagittarius) with a Scorpio intensity. I can be charismatic (Moon in Sadge) but in order to thrive need significant amounts of time spent as a fly on the wall..

  5. Hmmm… it’s funny, I was just thinking about this in a way today, wondering what you thought about the magnetic-soul type theory, Elsa…

    Do you think that you and the soldier were separated for a whole Saturn cycle in order to make room for the other people you had to learn from?

    Just wondering.

    I tend to act as a magnet for people who need to become more familiar with their emotional selves (water energy, I think). But I don’t always like it! Venus/Pluto/Saturn in Scorpio!

    In turn I am very attracted to intellectuals and people who have learned to see the world through their minds. Lately I have learned that this experience can be just as intense as emotional investiture, which totally fascinates me!

  6. I’m all emotion all the time . . . and so I end up dating or friends with stoics, people with emotional issues, people with stopped-up emotions . . . etc . . . And then I always feel super self-conscious about my own emotional displays.

  7. I have also always been confused by that – because (like your magnet image) – opposites also attract. I know that there are different types of attractive forces, this is probably the explanation for why like can attract, like and like can repell like, and why opposites attract and why opposites also repell. Probably, like in astrology when there are a lot of competing dynamics, the dynamics that are best aspected dominate.

    Anyway. As far as heart sugeons attracting people with bad hearts, etc. I think that’s a case of like attracting like, as far as it seems to me both people are vibrating at similar frequencies as far as their needs. One wants to help people with bad hearts. One wants to be helped by someone who can work with bad hearts. To me, those are two people with different needs in but that are so closely related that though they are not the same, they are on the same wavelength. I mean – how many people in the world (relatively speaking) who are heart mechanics? And how many people are there with bad hearts – compared to all the rest of the people in the world who have no relationship to the desire to fix bad hearts at all?

    So maybe they do not live in the same house, but probably they live in the same neighborhood – energetically speaking. Or at least the same region.

    But to your question – I attract people who can teach me what I do not know or who can balance me out. But they attract me too. It’s always a mystery to me – because, for example, a classic case is for me to be attracted to and to attract extroverts. I wonder, what on Earth could this person find in me – I must seem so boring and uninteresting by comparison. But they think I’m smart or something – somehow I give them something they need too, or why would they keep coming back?

  8. I attract boyish men. I also attract judgemental (in regard to my attitude on work), workaholic women.

    I attract both sexes seeking a mommy, or worse, a mean mommy. I, however, am a reasonably nice mommy, but only to my own kids.

  9. Have you ever spent long periods of time with someone who is the same sign as you? Noticing this it seems that it is very likely that the things that you love about yourself you will love about the other also and you will bring out those things in eachother, and you will also bring out the things you don’t like. And you will bring these out in eachother also.

  10. I attract doormats! I always have to try and inject some spine in ’em (and then they accuse me of being a bitch, but that’s a different story).

    I don’t know what attracts me, though. The only two people that have really “pulled” me in any way are vastly different: one is flighty and a little messed up and one is rock-solid…
    But both have a very strong sense of responsibility and work ethic. So maybe I attract people with a Saturn signature somewhere?

  11. Althera is dead on. There’s the underlying energy and it is expressed in opposite ways that balance each other out. As Althera points out, the reason it doesn’t always appear to work is because you have multiple aspects going on at the same time.

  12. you ask a lot of questions on stuff i never thought much about…lol

    my husband is like me in many ways, but one thing we don’t share is a general approach to doing things. he is quite methodical, by the numbers, plans for every contingency, always knows the worst case scenario kinda guy. me, i just go with my instincts and impressions and only resort to the 1-2-3 approach when whatever that’s popping into my head has not worked repeatedly. so i could probably benefit from more planning, and him, from less.

  13. You’re not intellectual, Elsa? You seem pretty smart/wise to me!
    Your comment reminded me of something, I wonder how Marilyn attracted Arthur Miller.

  14. I attract the feeling and emotional types. Also people who seem to need support or direction of some kind. I’m more of a stoic and edit my feelings most of the time. I guess they’re a good example for me, I learn from them, lol 🙂 I’m not sure I’m a good example for them though! I guess in a way we are opposites, and balance each other. Almost every significant person in my life has strong water placements, mostly in Cancer or Pisces.

  15. I think we attract people who complements us in many different ways. We many lack some elements our lives and we unconsciously attract others or vice versa.
    I’m bit lively and crazy (Moon and Venus in Gemini) and my friends are mostly down to earth, supportive and loving people. They truly do bring me down to earth when I’m bit distracted.

  16. I wish I could figure this out. If I could I could really avoid some bad relationships. When I was younger I didn’t necessarily attract, but went for the “mavericks”(I kind of still do…but it’s not intentional. I just find them more interesting, intellecutal, sexy etc.) but they were always needy in some way. Although I have been divorced almost four years now, I don’t know what I will attract. As time goes by, our “Magnetic North” changes. I am not looking but would be interesting to get an idea of what I attract now in my later years. What I like and what I attract may be two different things.

  17. I’m attracted to people who are sharp and witty. Air signs. People who can talk a yarn or read tons of books. I get bored with myself, in my own thoughts, so I am attracted to people who are very generous (extroverted) with their thought process. It not only entertains me, it gets me out of my own head.

    I don’t see a pattern in who is attracted to me. It’s very unpredictable. It seems to jive with what I’m seeking at that moment in my life.

  18. My ex-boyfriend. I still like my ex-boyfriend. He hunted me down the night we met. He’s extrovert to my introvert. He has a fuckton of flaws but he definitely doesn’t suffer from an inferiority complex. I question myself endlessly. I’m Woody Allen that way. Woody Allen as he portrays himself in his movies, that is. I’m neurotic. The ex-boyfriend is not neurotic. I worry about the food I eat and the air I breathe and the words I say and the feelings I feel. The ex has no such dilemmas.

  19. Avatar

    I am all water and earth. I adore fiery types, I’ve got only Uranus in fire sign, and it’s in watery 12th House! Leos, Aries and Sadges warm me up! I like people who light a little bit of fire under me!

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