SaDiablo asked on the Single Mother blog:
“Elsa, you said in your response, “…I assure you that your daughter has the right mother, not the wrong one.” Does this mean that you believe sometimes a child *does have the wrong mother? Just curious, as I’ve kicked this question around myself a few times. I’d like to hear a mother’s perspective.”
SaDiablo – I can’t imagine how a person could wind up in the wrong womb! That just makes no sense to me although I understand there are plenty of people who feel alien to their families!
People who feel alien in their families tend to feel alien in the world in general. And you could argue they did not attach to their parents or siblings (for whatever reason) when they were young so they grow up sans the ability to feel part of a close-knit group and you may be right. You could go on to say this is pathological and you may be right about that too but I would argue it.
I am an astrologer and I believe a person is born with their unique energy, period. I think we choose our parents, the people who will help us to manifest our destinies. For example, take me.
I am basically an ascetic and the idea I would have this quality is glaring in my chart. Venus square Neptune, Pisces on the 2nd house…some other indications.
And look who I grew up next door to? Henry! Henry who wonders if he should buy himself a portable radio, when he might donate that money instead.
On the other hand, I am inordinately attracted to taboo! And again, with a packed 8th house, it’s impossible to miss this in my chart. So guess who my father is? He’s a criminal! Great! Because while I’m at it, how else would I inherit my criminal mind, another thing shown in my chart?
And what about the fact I am highly sensitized to art? Who with Venus Neptune is not? And who is my mother? Well, she’s a painter.
So you see what I’m saying. I think it’s nature and nurture but bottom line, I think we choose our parents. And given a choice I don’t think many would choose to live my childhood, however I would. Because I can’t see any other way I could wind up being me.
I feel fully vested at this point in my life. I am still learning of course but I feel as if I have manifested myself as an individual in this world and every experience I have ever had, good or otherwise has assisted me in this endeavor.
Consequently, I’ve no complaints even though I had a therapist tell me once that I would have been better off growing up in a Nazi concentration camp.
Now what do you think? Can you have the wrong parents? Or no?
Have a question about astrology or life? Ask here!
I see your point, Elsa. Having BAD parents doesn’t mean you have the wrong ones. And there are a lot of really bad parents! Nearly everyone knows a family where one sibling thrives while another one languishes – with good parents and bad parents.
yeah, what she said…
Odd..I was just talking about parenthood and siblings, then I popped on and saw this. I was trying to figure out if I wanted another child. (not yet) I was thinking of my duty to my first child and if I should give her a sibling or if it mattered, or how much it shaped her destiny? I really can’t decide. It’s interesting how these decisions impact us..or do we have a choice? I believe in free will (I think), but some things do seem almost fated. I dunno…
Ah, I agree with you here, for similar reasons, though they don’t stem from astrology. That’s secondary. I haven’t yet figured out why I chose my parents, but one day I’ll know.
Think about this:
It is also possible that a child is born into a family to ‘teach the parents’…and not always the parents teaching the child. Some people are born with a more advanced way of thinking which often far surpasses their parent’s maturity of thought.
(This is for some of you who wonder why things aren’t as nice or easy as you may have wished.)
This does make sense to me…but I’m curious how you factor in adoption…another facet of grand design or ?
I agree with you. I would not be the woman I am today without the, um, interesting childhood I had. Not that I’d wish it on anyone — one of the myriad of reasons I won’t leave my kids alone with my parents — but because I know I’d be a completely different person if those circumstances had been, well, different.
And finally, after all these years, I really like me.
So. I was making the wrong choices even before I was alive?! That’s really depressing.
I guess I got lucky. My mom and dad are two very intelligent, nurturing, loving, and possibly spoiling people. And now I’ve come into the world to make their life living hell for them. I’ve done good.
*blink*
Well, go into an internet slump, and look what the world throws at you…. 😀 Curiousity sated is priceless, so thanks for answering my question, Elsa!
Your theory dovetails neatly with mine, and for much the same reasons. Reading through the comments, maybe it’s a question that children from broken homes need to answer for themselves. It’s interesting that we all came up with the same answer, although perhaps not, since we all have somewhat the same interests. (Sorry, my Libra’s talking again…. :D) Most of my friends come from dysfunctional families as well, so I can’t compare. If I ever find out, I’ll share.
Deal? 😉
I agree that you can’t be born to the WRONG parents, but I do think that parents can be a “bad fit” for their child. Meaning, I think that the soul chose that path for whatever reason, working out their karma or destiny or whatever, but that there are times when the RIGHT parents are a bad fit, and I guess that’s when the soul has chosen the chaffing for whatever reason.
Thanks Kathy. I agree, wholeheartedly.
Google: “Mistaken Zygote Syndrome” LOL
Jilly, that is effen great! 😀 Thanks!
Unfortunately, I match my family waaaaay too well to be a Mistaken Zygote. *sigh* One can always dream, right? 😉
My family are all a bunch of individuals to the max but humor / storytelling are major binding ingredients.
Everyone has Uranus opp Merc or Uranus conj Merc but me LOL.
no.
i’m exactly where i need to be, struggle and joy and odd birthrights. wouldn’t trade my family for anyone else’s.
It could also be that the chart lays it out for you, but the family expresses it. For example, I “do” feel like an alien generally speaking, always have. I “didnt” bond with my mother (mom got really sick after she had me, my older sisters took care of me. I bonded to THEM instead) Does my chart reflect this.. probably – the family “acted it out” so to speak.
I do believe that we choose our parents before we incarnate, and that’s despite having been born into a highly dysfunctional family; years later, I can see the ways its given me strength and wisdom. One thing I worked out only recently, and which freaked me out a little: I’d been thinking about the characteristics of first-born children – on the good side, they can become decisive leaders etc, while on the bad side they tend to be highly competitive and always want to get their own way. Both my parents and my brother were all firstborns, and that was a scary scenario, to be born into a childhood of getting pushed around and slagged off a lot. But it was a great way to learn how to deal with ego-trippers.
Ha ha Michael, I am the progeny of two “babies of the family”…I’m a Capricorn.
This is a really cool read. I’m going to think on this a little.
I think its possible that a mistake can occur and you CAN be born to the wrong family. Two souls coming down at the same time,a slight wobble in the cosmic field and two babies in the wrong bodies,both had chosen their parents and life challenges but suddenly they are adrift in a life they have no idea about and no blueprint of how to navigate. I know we forget when we come here but I think in the core theres a blueprint but when this mix up happens you are adrift with literally no compass. These challenges were never meant to be mine. I’m living a life someone else agreed to and shes living mine. I’m nearing the end of my earth time now but I have always known a mistake happened. I couldn’t even bear to be called the name I was given as it wasn’t meant for me and changed it by deed poll. It’s not just a case of I hated my parents it was a much deeper knowing…this isnt right..and so yes it is possible. I hope this helps just one person because if there is anyone else out there like me believe me I know how lonely it is