Cancer Woman In A Capricorn’s Kitchen… Home Sweet Home With A Hard On

home-sweet-home.jpg I moved into this house when my daughter was a baby and a double Cancer pal helped. We were standing in the kitchen among the boxes and I feeling overwhelmed. I have no planets in Cancer. I have no planets in the 4th house either. My mother was a detached double Aquarian, so kitchens are just not my thing.

“I have no idea what to do,” I said. “Where do I put this stuff?” I asked.

After verifying I was serious and seriously confused, she burst into action. “These go here,” she said holding up spatulas and the like. “Next to the stove because you’re going to cook with them, right?”

I nodded dumbly.

“Right side of the stove so you can grab them with your right hand,” she added brightly.

“I don’t know any of this you know,” I said.

She laughed. “You don’t have to know because IIIIIIIIIII know!” she said with her Leo rising boasting. I stood back while she completely organized my kitchen.

With the kitchen done we stepped out on the back porch.

fence.jpg “Oh,” she said pointing a knot on the back yard fence. “You have a heart on your fence! See it? Home sweet home!”

“Where?” I asked.

“There,” she said pointing.


She walked over to the fence and pointed to the heart. “Here.”

“That? That’s not a heart, it’s a penis.”

“Oh, Elsa.”

“Sorry man. But that’s a dick and a hard one at that.”

13 thoughts on “Cancer Woman In A Capricorn’s Kitchen… Home Sweet Home With A Hard On”

  1. lol…of course! :p

    I love kitchens and cooking. You can learn a lot about people from the contents and organization of their fridge/pantry! People always reveal themselves through food.

    Saturn, Jupiter and Pluto in the 4th 🙂

  2. the kids at the coffee shop make a heart in the top of the latte foam. they say it’s amazing how when they do mine it always turns out looking like a penis, seriously, just like. they must do it on purpose at this point.

    someone organized my kitchen once too and I made a point to remember all the rules.

  3. After years of scraping enough money together to buy my first house, and another couple of years getting used to it, I decided I needed to renovate my kitchen, not so I could feel good cooking in there (I’m a sandwich, soup and cereal girl) but so everyone else could feel good congregating in there. Got myself a much comfier kitchen. First dinner party, and everyone was marveling over the microwave I had installed over the stove. Friends ask, “wow, you can do pot roast in here… do you have a meat probe?” Sure, I say, and I handed over this leftover part the workmen had stashed in a cupboard. And friends say, no, no, no…that’s an under counter light!

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