Screwed Either Way – Karma?

red hammer“Would you rather be hit by the red hammer…or the blue hammer?”

That’s the question my husband has to answer every day, if not multiple times a day.  Things really never seem to go his way. Once in a blue moon they do. But it’s hard to focus on those times when 363 days a year, he’s hammered.

I don’t know that I’ve ever met anyone whose life is like this. I don’t know what it means but I sure wish I did.

I know peoplehave a bad run, a bad year, a bad five years in some cases. But these periods are limited and the ratio of bad to good is not so overwhelming as what I witness him face, day in and day out.

I have heard theories that essentially say, the closer you are to God, the harder your life is.  I have also heard theories that say it’s a person’s bad karma that makes their life the way it is.

I don’t believe either of those theories, if they’re supposed to true for all.  Do you?

He says he doesn’t know why his life is the way it is but he tries to warn people. He tells them what it’s going to be like, if they get anywhere near him.  He warned me. He says people don’t believe him when he tells them about this but they find out fast enough, he’s telling them the truth.

I think about this a lot and I never come anywhere near anything the resembles an answer.  He’s got a Mars Saturn aspect in his chart, but it just can’t be that simple.

When you see someone who’s life is relentlessly difficult, how do you explain it to yourself?

45 thoughts on “Screwed Either Way – Karma?”

  1. I have a wackiness around my life in which I will get hammered with big things like a broken engagement, losing a pregnancy, and my dad dying all in a 6 month period. Or when I was younger, losing 8 friends/classmates from suicide within a 7 year period. I am like a perpetual survivor/overcomer. I can see the anvil falling on the person next to me. I used to carry a lot of guilt about not being taken under. Now, I have learned to live with this blessing/curse. Whenever, I see this type of person, I offer them comfort and good laugh or two. In the end, you have to keep some sense of humor.

  2. Pluto, I think. And I would say Karma, by which I mean the ‘sins of the father’ being transferred to the offspring, via family dynamics. There is no doubt in my mind that we ‘attract’ certain people and experience certain life events relative to our ‘growing up’ patterns of observation and behaviour. So I have come to agree with Jung’s idea that until we fully know and acknowledge our ‘shadow’ or unconscious, it will appear in our lives externalized as people and situations. It’s a kind of bad luck.
    I had a teacher, briefly, who I came to realize ‘attracted’ Death, and I was only too happy to finish the course and discontinue our acquaintance 😉

  3. I have a Mars/Saturn opposition in my natal chart, my brother does as well. I think I would have to say, “yes, it is that simple”. A lot of what happens in my life, though, is mitigated by a grand trine in earth. That opposition and that grand trine both include Saturn. My brother does not have a grand trine. It seems everything he touches goes bad, worst luck and no safety net. People come out of nowhere and do him harm, block his efforts and/or frustrate him. It sometimes seems to turn around with me. Initially, difficult, hated and then resolved into something more positive. My brother does not have this luck or saving grace. I really do think its the Mars/Saturn laying the groundwork for difficulty, and my grand trine easing the situation.

  4. I have my south node in my sun sign. My astrologer pointed out that this is a most difficult placement. On top of that I have several (Sun,Moon Neptune and Gemini Ascendent) on cusps. Which act like multiple personalities at times. I have a mercury retrograde, which actually helps when it’s retrograde. So yeah digging deep into a chart can be an indication of challenges. Fortunately I have a yod and north node showing me exactly what I need to be doing in this life. If I keep my focus on “God’s plan” which was created at my birth, life runs a lot smoother. If I slip into south node Virgo mode all Hell breaks lose. Just saying. Astrology has given me more tools to work with then a decade of therapy did.

    1. My south node is in gemini (7th), but now progressed to taurus (still 7th). But I have to say, as much as I enjoy the yack yack ha ha with some geminis (mercury ruled like my virgo sun), it has been disaster in partnership. They seem to need to control me. And like I’ve mentioned I don’t do well in jail. It could turn me into a killer bitch. I’m not suggesting geminis are controlling, but it’s how it has worked for me. Perhaps it is the SN thing. Perhaps jupiter energy annoys them and needs to be contained.

  5. An Indian astrologer once told me I had all planets between North & South Node. In India it’s called “Kal Sarpa”. Meaning what can go wrong, will go wrong. Every gain will be lost again, happiness will only be found through focussing on the spiritual life. In the course of time this Sun/Ve in 12th/Virgo and Me/Nep/Moon conjunct in 1st learned to cope. But even after 66 yrs life keeps suprising me with its unexpected turns and bizarre developments.

    1. Interesting. It’s the planets between my north and south node where life is hard for me: Venus, Saturn (conjunct), Chiron (pummeled physically;lots of accidents). Thus I do not attempt to build in the material plane, all of my effort goes into the spiritual. With an Angel at my shoulder (Jupiter/Sun conjunct) it always works out. I have the best relationship with my 26 & 22 y.o. children of anyone I know, and we even live together.

  6. I’ve had a lot of bad stuff happen in my life. But I keep on going and working and improving. I have a bunch of Pluto, mars Saturn, and all that. The only thing that really drives me bat shit is my temper and getting so easily annoyed. That and having to clean up a huge mess after I have let someone into my life. I feel like the parent teacher, when I just want to be me.

  7. Maybe his Mars and Saturn are aligned with some difficult fixed stars?
    Or there is a yod in his chart?
    Although, in my experience, Uranus, Neptune and South Node can create far more havoc than Mars or Saturn.

  8. its probably a combination of bad karma and bad luck. i have mars conj saturn, but jupiter in my 10H trine my sun in my 7H, and im a pretty lucky person. ive been blessed with fortunate times, but also have endured unlucky situations. chiron in my 5H isnt the easiest place for it to live, but where is? some of the most fortuitous experiences ive ever had have also been the most unlucky… there’s like a duality to it. for example, i got to experience what i believe to be a true soulmate connection with the love of my life, but there was a catch – he was still married, and it took 5 years for him and his ex to divorce, and in that time, our relationship suffered a lot of damage. unfair and unlucky that that was the circumstance under which we met, but fortunate that i got to experience that kind of divine love with someone.

  9. Well, I don’t know. Had a lot of bad things in my life, but somehow, I always shrug my shoulders and say: Meh, tough luck… Sometimes I even wonder whether the saying that God will never let you suffer more than you can take, is just made up as a defense mechanism for someone who has my kind of luck. I have a prominent Saturn in my chart also, but I have Mars sextile Saturn. I’m also not quite sure whether any Mars/Saturn contact can be considered as a “good” aspect 🙂

  10. The good thing is that I usually forget about the bad stuff really quickly. It’s not usual for Scorpio/Capricorn, but I also tend to forgive (and forget) people very easy. I have a lot of Sagittarius influence. Maybe it’s because of Sagittarian Mercury: long-term memory impairment 😀

  11. Elsa, I know exactly what you are wrestling with in this blog. My brother was a great kid, a Marine, a husband, father, awesome son. Ceres conjunct Venus in Cap on the MC. He rescued everybody and every animal who needed help–one good deed after another–all his life, but he had no luck with bad luck. Sadly, he died from CA in his early fifties. I think there is some truth to your quote in the blog: “the closer you are to God the harder your life.”

    1. “the closer you are to God the harder your life.”

      I think that is true at times as well. But I was reading Saint Therese’s (Little Flower) book and she mentions how some people (saints?) really suffer and others have God looking out for them from the day they’re born…their path is graced all along.

      I figure she’s know better than I, so that’s why I qualified this in the post.

      In my own life, it’s been pretty desperately bad, however I have angels all around, as anyone who’s read my book can attest!

  12. Unfortunately I can attest to this. 🙁 I have Saturn conjunct Pluto and BOTH square Mars.

    I’m 30 now and I’ve probably have about 3 months of happiness my whole life. And by happiness I don’t mean fulfilled and everything going well in every area of my life. To me, happiness is no major hole I’m trying to dig myself out of caused by forces beyond my control.

    I’ve tried to be a good person my whole life despite my misfortune, but I’m not sure it matters. I even completely gave up the drinking and drugs I used to quell the pain about 7 years ago. It helped in one way, as I’m not actively bringing new problems into my life by avoiding reality or being careless with my responsibilities, but on the other hand, the pain is undiluted now. Nothing to take the edge off.

    I’m not convinced faith in God helps much either yet I persist through this Dark Night of the Soul. I surrendered my life to Him years ago and yet still all He blesses me with living through all the pain and suffering. I beg Him for help and none comes and at the same time He doesn’t give me the ability or resources to fix the situation myself. I can see how I could easily fix the situation and I know what I want to happen, but what I want is usually impossible. It’s like there’s a bridge blown out and my only option to get to the other side is to swim through raging rapids filled with alligators.

    If it is karma, I can’t imagine what I could have done in a previous life that was so egregious that I am still trying to make up for it. I would have had to have been someone like Osama Bin Laden and I can’t imagine being capable of doing anything so malicious. I’m a vegetarian. I don’t even unnecessarily kill animals to eat them.

    Suicide has been in the back of my mind since I was a child, and I’m not sure it will ever leave. I try to remind myself that life is supposed to be precious, it just doesn’t feel like it most of the time. People might say, “Oh, you just need to be grateful for what you have.” I truly wish I was just being dramatic or “playing the victim.” If I could fix things myself I would. People who say this don’t have Saturn and Pluto in hard aspect to Mars. They will never understand.

    1. (((((Venus Squared))))

      I hope you never decide to kill yourself. My husband says he doesn’t know why people think that will bring relief. What if you die and it’s instantly worse?

      I definitely can validate you. The other day, I told my husband I felt we were lucky we got to keep our health insurance.

      He pointed out it was WE keeping it and in fact, it is my insurance (as a Frito Lay retiree).

      Once he lost everything but a computer.
      Two days later, a huge tree smashed into the room he had rented for $50 a month – that 100 year old tree landed right on top the computer.

      People won’t get in fox holes with him. They know.

      And he did tell me this before we got together. I took him seriously, because he was serious.

      I decided I get on board anyway….I know where I am supposed to be.

    2. O dear, I feel for you. Saturn conjunct Pluto is quite a combination, even without Mars squaring. Mine is in Leo/11th. Shortly after the 1st Saturn return I tried to kill myself, but miraculously survived. After that experience life got much better. Learned to be more realistic towards others & myself. To stay out of useless guilt trips, help where I can – and accept my limitations. Surrendering to life, as it comes was my solution. Please, don’t lose your faith. God knows what he does.

      1. i am also 30 and also have saturn conjunct pluto, both opposing mars and mercury. i also feel i have to struggle for everything, nothing comes easy. but i got to the point where i just try to do one little progress per day, in work or with other people or anything else, and one day it will pile up and the results will show, or so i hope. got through my depression the same way: spending time with people i love each day a little bit more, laughing each day a bit more. and it helped! just take it slow, venus squared :)!

    3. I feel the same way. I’ve tried SO hard to be a good person, I’ve saved lives, helped people, given to charity, and all I get is shit. I know someone whose son killed himself-I’d send her a care package but I’m too broke to do even that! What kind of God does this to people? I’ve often thought about suicide too but I can’t do that with my Mother still alive-she wouldn’t take it well. Neither would my significant other.

  13. I feel a bit this way–I’ve got Pluto in the 12th. It feels really hard sometimes. 8th house sun, too. It feels like I”m always struggling. When I was first studying astrology, one guy offered to read my chart, and said, “Wow! Your chart is REALLY INTENSE!” And because I was going through something hard which I lay on him, he never wrote again (he was a bit of a dick, too). My Sat is conjunct my SN and my Nep is squared my nodes. I’ve got some good things, too, but that Pluto, man… Plus it’s at the apex of a yod (I’ve got two yods–read “The Yod Book?” Yods are hard.)

    I’m sorry, Venus Squared, for your troubles…

  14. The Saturn (12 house) square Mars (8th in Scorp) is a tough one for me. I also have Mars conj Neptune. I want to go forward but hold myself back and often run out of steam. Add the moon conj pluto in 7th and a yod involving Jupiter, Neptune, and Pluto, and I’m not surprised my dentist is concerned with my teeth grinding at night!

    Venus Squared, Please hang in there. I’ve been there. I’ve swam in that pool of darkness. Everywhere I turned was devoid of giving me what I needed, both by those whose job it was to be there as well as those who had a personal responsibility to me. My life isn’t like that anymore. There were lessons along the way for me, and for those around me.

    I think struggles have helped me be more compassionate and empathic. Getting older has definitely helped and I so appreciate I can delve into my astrology chart and learn about why I experience the struggles I do. I’m getting closer to acceptance, embracing me, and letting go, while also building courage to deal with the limitations that hold me back. I’m definitely a work in progress.

  15. “When you see someone who’s life is relentlessly difficult, how do you explain it to yourself?”

    I don’t. Someone else’s karma isn’t my business. 😉

    I’m willing to philosophize just about anything (chart ruler Jupiter trine Pluto) but your karma ain’t one of them.

  16. My life like soldier’s. Mother said I was born under a bad sign and can’t catch a break., She carried the sacred heart of jesus card for me in her wallet since I was born. People don’t believe what happens to me, though am not a negative type. The tree/computer mashup? Could write a book! Think its pluto conjunct sun and a grand cross. There is also the adage: some people choose the smooth road this lifetime, while others choose the hard road for faster karma burnoff?

    1. My mother told me I did everything the hard way. She did not get it. It’s not the only time I heard it. They don’t get it. Some of us have to take the curved yellow fruit road. The long way around. Whatever works.

  17. The humble billionaire, Warren Buffet, has Mars opposition to Saturn and a few other difficult aspects:
    Opposition: Mars Saturn 3º
    Square: Mercury Mars 1º
    Square: Mercury Saturn 2º
    Square: Uranus Pluto 5º
    Square: Venus Pluto 1º
    Opposition: Venus Uranus 7º
    His good luck seems due to Venus conjunct Mercury in Libra, and Mars, Jupiter, Pluto conjunct in the first house. This reminds me, his close friend who he’s leaving most of his wealth to, Bill Gates, has Venus conjunct Saturn. I’ve seen many people who are financially secure have Mars or Venus in hard aspect to Saturn,. (Thoughts colored by financial security on my mind this evening…)

    I worked with a reserved Scorpio who had Mars conjunct Saturn and he was very calm under all kinds of stressful situations and he was financially secure, but it was like the manager and director wanted to place more work on his shoulders because they trusted that he understood all kinds of situations and what to do about them, since usually it was true, and how calm he always was. He was unafraid of anything. He was a senior network administrator with lots of experiences with big projects and was a boxer on the side which was a hobby he was very involved in, along with motorcycle racing (except he was hit on a motorcycle by a drunk guy and his knee cap was scraped off after being thrown from his motorcycle and broke his leg. They reconstructed his knee cap and even with scars along his entire leg he went back to boxing matches, but did quit motorcycle racing) Anyway it seemed that Mars conjunct Saturn was the epitomized his reserved persona and it made him lucky in the sense that people trusted him to refrain from saying anything until he could think of a good way to say it that gave him this good reputation for being someone everyone trusted. He was everyone’s sincere friend, and never made anyone feel stupid or appear stupid to anyone else. So the way it worked against him in work though was that the director wanted him to be responsible for so many things it drove him nuts. He confided that he was going to leave soon, because the director felt he should be available at all hours of the night any time, and for communication all the time during the day, too, when this took him away from the system support which was the job he was hired for to begin with. The Mars Opp Saturn guy felt overworked and underpaid but it wasn’t that he wanted more money, he just wanted his own time away from work to be his instead of people from work wanting him to do the jobs of two or three other people instead of hiring more people, so he thought they were crazy for thinking he’d want to stay under the pressure of the burdens placed on him so he left to work someplace where less involvement was possible. He had such control over his temper though it seemed. While one of our officemates is always in yelling freaked out mode, Mars Opposition Saturn guy was always icy smooth nerves of steel and everyone seemed to envy that serenity he held in his persona.

    1. Oops- Correction to previous comment, when I wrote Mars Opposition Saturn guy, I didn’t mean Warren Buffet, I meant Mars Conj Saturn guy who the director wanted to do the jobs of three people for the price of one. (sorry, no edit option otherwise I would have edited that- nerves tiring me out. Bedtime soon)

      1. When I’m tired or stressed I get my facts mixed up so toward the end of the second Mars Saturn example I was confusing that guy with Warren Buffet who has the Mars Opposition to Saturn. Pleasant dreams now, everyone!

  18. I think we can’t understand another’s path or why it is how it is; what soul purpose it serves. So I don’t purport to understand another’s difficulty but I certainly have pondered at length on why individuals have such different experiences in life. Personally I’ve really needed to try to make some meaning out of it. So briefly, this is some of where I’m at with that.
    It seems to me if you believe humans are equal in their humanity, then there is no explanation for instance (in terms of ‘reason’) for why one is born in one very harsh place or circumstances or repeatedly has difficult experiences, and another born into bounty. There is no ‘deserving’; it just is.
    In the same way I don’t accept that karma is some type of justice or way of punishing or rewarding a human for past-life actions. I think that reduces a larger concept into a narrower dichotomy of good and bad, and this reductive approach is also like trying to understand something huge from the frame of reference of one tiny pinpoint within it.
    From the human perspective it’s natural that we look for cause and effect and think that if something harsh happens there must be a cause. But I suspect at a soul level, if one accepts the concept of multiple lives as a possibility, then karma is more about the soul choosing to experience a type of reality or experience. Just that. Not to be punished by someone/something but maybe as a way of having or resolving the experience the soul needs. (Having said that, a soul could choose a life from a limited or a carried-over or strongly unresolved perspective which sets up the types of experiences that human has; eg there might be old rage or pain which affects the human’s beliefs; their sense of what reality is; what they can choose.) Possibly the soul chooses many types of lives in time, some brutal, some benevolent, some where it hurts others, some where it is hurt. Of course it’s quite an adjustment to consider the possibility that one has had lives as a murderer or something harsh like that. But really why not? Who are we to know what our soul’s path has been or for what purpose? Perhaps all of these realities are possible. For me anyway, I have come to a place of acceptance with that and it has been expansive for me. It’s like an ultimate spiritual democracy.
    So as to why we have such different kinds of experiences for no seeming reason; I think there’s an inherent mystery from this perspective of this life we’re trying to ponder it from: we can’t know.

      1. I totally agree as well.

        Job asked God, why? and God said, where were you when I laid the earth’s foundations?

        A big question whose answer is unknowable.

  19. The catholic saints had very hard lives. Now, they’re saints. Regardless of what one believes (religiously, spiritually, etc.), it still says something that they’re “saints,” prayed to, dignified, at the top of a hierarchy (again, even if one isn’t “religious). Some people’s paths are beyond hard. I think of those in poor, poor developing countries scrapping for food and to live past adulthood. Who can really know why?

  20. Hi Elsa,

    This is the type of question where I would look at the person with Human Design because I have found it is amazingly accurate for not only bringing the specifics of the person forward, but also gives a strategy for moving through life’s decisions in a way that is authentic for that individual. Human Design is a system based on Astrology, the I’Ching, the Chakra system, and the Kabbalah. If you wish to send your husband’s natal information, I’d be happy to take a look free of charge. All my best, Scott

  21. he’s reading other people and they don’t like it – been there – so, i start with a positive prospective – set up a mirror and let them hammer away – either at me or at themselves – it moves them off their nail of barking – it makes for an exciting life

  22. I think, reason is attitude to life. Today, I’ve chatted with men on forum. And he injured me. I answered and went to my deals. During this period, I thought, that I injured him in answer undeservedly. And I understood, how I was… When I returned to home, I thought, he answered to me hard and I was ready. But can you imagine, he answered only on fragment, where wasn’t injure. And he answered with joke! I said “forgive” and he answered, that he didn’t noticed injure (surely, this is wise answer). And I understood, that his first answer, which I thought is injurious, was injurious only in my reality. I waited that and subconsciously provoked. And I understood, how easy and beautiful life without enemy or waiting on enemy. And without arrogance too.

  23. Every night and every morn
    Some to misery are born,
    Every morn and every night
    Some are born to sweet delight. ..

    God appears, and God is light,
    To those poor souls who dwell in night;
    But does a human form display
    To those who dwell in realms of day.

  24. My life is like your husbands. I had a horrid childhood with an abusive alcoholic father, so that was birth to 22 years old screwed. Husband walked out on me for a 17 year old, then another had his ‘mid-life crisis’ and needed a younger model. In 1998 Saturn began transiting my FIRST house and I’ve had ONE good year since then. I had a small stroke, lost two teeth, three cousins, three good long time friends, my marriage, my job, my apartment, my credit card, my bank accounts, my healthcare and dental, my unemployment, had TWO bone-bruising accidents in 2009. I’ve worked ten months in the past four years. Met a new guy-who’s fat, broke, doesn’t want to go anywhere or do anything but sit home with his dog that I’m allergic to, doesn’t have a sex drive. If one thing goes right in my life it seems like three go wrong to make up for it. With over seven billion people on this planet can’t God find someone else’s life to ruin for a change? Funny thing is my chart looks good-lots of trines, little oppositions.

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