Dear Elsa,
Please could you help me with a Scorpio guy? I’ve known him for ages- seven years, as he’s a friend of my partners and comes to our house often. I’ve never really looked at him closely or even fancied him. He has always been very nasty and sarcastic to me so I generally ignored him. He also used to berate my hubby for not keeping me in line and letting me answer back (excuse me!)
It now seems, though I’m not 100% sure, that he has always fancied me and has been watching me from a distance. He seems to know lots about me and all of a sudden, I fancy him like mad. Why is that?
Anyway when I tried to speak to him about it, he disappeared for days… so I left it not asking where he went, as it’s not my business. Even though I wanted to desperately, as it made me feel ill when he went away and I missed him. How can that be when we’ve not even had an relationship and I generally find him to be a macho pig?
I decided a few months ago (after he kept coming back to my house staring at me like he’s undressing me, going through my emails AND asking who people are who email me!!) that even though it hurt, I would ignore him. But he comes back every two weeks and plays games, my husband cannot see it!! And I have no hard evidence that he’s coming on to me, so to say something to my partner would be futile.
Am I going insane? I don’t want to want him but I can’t help myself. This is ridiculous. Incidentally when I tried to talk to him about my feelings, he won’t speak about the night he disappeared.
Attracted To My Husband’s Friend
Dear Attracted,
It’s common knowledge that I like Scorpios. However some of them are total pricks and it sounds like you’ve met one of these. I have actually been in similar situations (though more mild) as yours and can tell you what’s going on. The guy is playing with you. He is manipulating you and quite skillfully.
See, Scorpio has a vibe. A sexual vibe this is and it’s true they exude it to a degree all the time. But they can also focus it at their will. They can put their sexual energy on a person low, medium, high or burn you up, darlin’… for whatever reason they may decide.
And it’s not uncommon for Scorpio to do this for their own entertainment. Sort of like a spider, delighted with some little creature caught in their web. They focus on you, sexualize you, get you all stimulated and then lay back and observe as you find yourself caught and can’t figure a way out.
So you see, the bastard has exactly what he wants. You thrashing around at night thinking of him, that is. He’s getting off on it, I promise you that. He’s stoking it. And it sounds all dire, as if there is nothing for you to do but be a pawn in his game, but that is illusion. This is actually surprisingly easy to fix. Do you want to fix it?
Maybe you don’t. Because it’s so stimulating and all. But eventually you’ll get sicker and he’ll get stronger and you’ll want to stop this so I’ll tell you how.
You only need to confront him. Scorpio hates this by the way, so if you do this, be aware there will be no more games with you… ever. And this’ll cost you too. Because when Scorpio takes their energy off you, you’re going to know it. You’re going to drop like 15 feet, straight down, almost immediately, but anyway it’s a simple fix. All you need do is hold this bastard up to the light. Like this:
Approach him directly and look him right in the eye. “I know what you’re doing and I want you to stop. Take your energy off me. Do it now and keep it that way because I don’t like it and further, you are boring me…”
This will rid you of your problem 95% of the time. If someone is particularly stubborn and wants to continue to sexualize you, respond in kind. He stares at your crotch, and you stare back at his wth a dispassionate smile. And at that point it’s all out in the open, which kills it for the Scorp. So he’ll die, but just remember to brace, because you’ll die with him and there will be an aftermath, called a void.
Good luck.
I shuddered when I read the word ‘boring’… that will do it, the quickest!! Yes, great advice for killing a Scorp’s interest.
god… thanks for your help..i really appreciate it. I didn’t even see this fucker land or know when I took off with it..it just happened over night…we usually fight like cat and dog. As i think he’s a Tosser who treats his wife (who’s lovely) horribly. But she never stands up to him. I have always know to sleep with him would be emotional suicide for me so i can’t lose either way. Armaggedon here i come!
Loz xxxxxxxxxxx
Go, Lorraine, go!!!!!!
Wow– I swear, this is almost identical to what happend (what’s been happening to me). I emailed Elsa months back about a friend of the family that was taunting me with his over-the-top sexuality and I absolutely loved this reply. I’m Virgo, He’s Scorpio and I would get the same kind of treatment. Hands down the back of my pants when no one else was looking, hugs that lasted just a little too long, boy, I could go on and on. I choose to not give him any energy because darlin’ that would be then end. I would fall head over heals and the hurt is just not worth it so run like the dickens!!!
This is so very disturbing! Elsa, I think you missed it on this one. SHE is just as attracted to him as he is to her. Staring at his crotch dispassionatley is not gonna’ work here. If I was her husband I would show her to the divorce door. But I’m not and that is sad because she needs someone to help her overcome her glaringly misdirected attention.
I don’t get it “As i think he’s a Tosser who treats his wife (who’s lovely) horribly!” She was thinking of screwing a married man? who treats his wife like crap?! I don’t think the issue is about should or should’nt she fuck the “fucker” but WHY would she want to?
I mean for cryin’ out loud….she made a vow to her husband and I am assuming he made one similar to his wife…… all this cloak and dagger “lust” is an escape from the reality that neither one of them are really married in any sense and that they both deserve each other.
I wonder what the Scorpio’s wife would think about her husband’s ability to undress women with his x-ray vision? More than that I’d like to know how Attracted would feel if her husband were up to the same thing?….undressin’ women with his eyes and harrassing them sexually?
Hmmmmmmm……maybe it’s just all good like that. Who knows?
I admit I kinda agree with Jamie here. Acting like the Scorpio is so kinky but secretly loving it. Though “Attracted” did have the guts to admit this and address it as a problem (mostly). I think these things can go way out of control if not addressed. We all have roving thoughts here and there, but when your attention wanders for any length of time, you have to wonder if you’re not projecting your needs (not being met, or simply not addressed) in your marriage.
Good luck to Attracted.
I have been experiencing a similar situation. I’m a Taurus. Apparently, scorpio is my opposite sign. When no one is around, my Scorpio guy likes to make subtle advancements on me. Our colleagues might not notice this due to its secretive nature but he is doing it. For example, he’s constantly inviting me into his little dark room by saying he could use an extra hand with the paper works. Scorpio would then proceed to stare at me with those hypnotic eyes for a very long time. He stares. A lot. He is constantly complimenting me on my appearance and mannerism. Mind you, we barely know each other and have had couple of verbal exchanges. That’s all.
I should tell you that when we’re together out in the open he makes it appear as if I am the one doing the chasing. The worst bit is i think i have a minor crush on him. He says he is seeing someone else yet he is continuing to make advancements towards me. It’s the horror story of my life. I am constantly being drawn to scorpio men and I feel hopeless.
What do I do..!? Being in this position is humiliating for me! I want to end this but first i want the others to recognize that he is manipulating the situation and me into thinking that there is some kind of chemistry between the two of us. Its frustrating to say the least.
In response to jamie’s comment:
no it’s a specific scorpio vibe, not Lorraine. I noticed this at work. There’s a scorpio who was “off the market” for the longest time and I didn’t particularly fancy him. Then he went “on the market” and I noticed myself thinking he had a nice ass etc. I felt around him – flirted subtly and left opportunities – he may have noticed but nothing materialized. I don’t know if he’s seeing someone but at least at the office his energy has waned and his sexuality doesn’t disturb me anymore.
As well a scorpio girlfriend of mine is now on the prowel after years off the market and she has a date every week.. she draws the ones she likes to her.
I’m wondering if this works for people with strong pluto – hmmm – i’d like to give it a try lol.
it seems to work like taurus. The scorpio/taurus axis. Pulling them in. 😀
my husband does tell me the women at his office are always staring.
Hm It really arouses this intense jealousy out of me.
I just say, “oh really now?? Well they can Look. but that’s all it’s gonna be.”
Don’t do it. Trust me when I tell you that you are playing with fire. You need to threaten him that you are going to tell your husband if he keeps up with this disrespect and mental torture. If you even attempt to go there it will be a disaster. He will conquer you, disarm you and leave you high and dry. You will not have him and if your husband finds out you won’t have him either. I know this first hand. Learn from example not by experience. This is a situation that will only end in heartache for you. Scorpio men are dangerous when they are like this man. He is jealous of your husband and he doesn’t want you for the right reasons, he wants you because he feels he should have the best and he thinks that he is better than your husband and obviously he is out to prove it by conquering you. DON’T DO THIS, I REPEAT, DON’T DO THIS! You will be very sorry you did. You need to put the sexy back into your marriage! Take all of that temptation and turn it around into a new found desire for your husband. Your husband is a great man and he loves you so much, I know this because he obviously tells this man some amazing things about you as being the best wife in the world. Keep your husband so busy with your lives that he won’t have time for this jerk. Besides say you did go there, that Scorpio would not have any respect or trust for you. He would know what you were capable of doing to him and they are the most insecure non-trusting people who will leave you abandoned once they conquer you! Take my advice, you’ll be glad you did!
Scorpio men are good at disarming the strongest of women. My friend is married to one she is a Capricorn. We all know he is cheating on her. He works out of town but is go e for long periods of time. We all tell her to leave but she enjoys the money an material items he provides. Stay away from Scorpio men they will suck the life out of you.