Some years ago, my daughter was 8 years old and I had “Zucchero” playing in the car. He’s an Italian crooner with gobs of passion. I could see my daughter responding to him and took the opportunity…
“You like that guy?”
“I do.”
“Well I’m glad. Because he likes women. He lovvvvvvvves women.”
She laughed.
“Hear him? Are you listening to the lyrics? He says it plainly and he says it over and over. He sings, this is a man who needs a woman. He sings about the power of women. All his songs are about how much he loves the opposite sex. He is completely taken with women. He is crazy for women which is what we are.”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, well you’re 8, but I don’t want you to ever forget this.”
She stared.
“When you look for a man, make sure he likes women. This is the first thing you want to find out when you meet a guy. Ask yourself, does this guy like women…. or not? Because there are a lot of men who don’t! They go out with women and do all kinds of things to and with them but they don’t actually like them. In fact they hate them or resent them or they are jealous of them or whatever but they don’t like them and this is the kind of guy I don’t want you stuck with.”
“Okay, Mom.”
“Okay then. Because men who don’t like women? Guess what? They don’t like women and that’s what you are so you are going to forever up a creek if you hook up with one of them so just pay attention and get yourself a guy like this.”
“One crazy for women?”
“Exactly. Get a man who knows he wants a woman… period. Anything else and you’re wasting your time and that’s for stupid people, not you.”
It was clear to me she got it so we got out of the car and went in the store, but on the subject of cock-blockers, this is another classification of them…
There are some women out there who don’t like men. They just plain don’t like them and I mean they don’t like them period. And if you know a woman like this, I guarantee you she’s a cock-blocker. Are you kidding? Last thing she wants is someone to feed the enemy. Sounds like this:
“I am happy with my man.”
“You’re just in the honeymoon period. Wait a little bit and you’ll see his real colors…”
or, “Yeah, he’s not the cheating type.”
She laughs. “All men are the cheating type…”
More cock-blocking types coming up.
Meanwhile do you know any women who hate men? What about men who hate women?
Skip to Oprah is a cock-blocker
Great point on men who love women, Elsa. I’ve met both kinds and believe me, those who love women are a far better choice of companion. I’ve pointed out the men who don’t to other women friends over the years ’cause not that many people pick up on that. And women who hate men I regard as a ROYAL PAIN in the A**!! You are right about both those sorts being cock blockers too . . . in general, if they can’t be happy, nobody can. And that’s what a Mercury/Mars in Scorpio has to say with Mercury in Scorpio . . . 😀
Oh man, I am SO dealing with this these days. My cousin is a woman-hater, as is my friend’s husband. The women married to them are in so much pain right now and all I want to do is yell, “LEAVE HIM!” I don’t get why they found them appealing in the first place.
Me to my cousin-in-law: “Was he EVER nice?” Her, very hesitantly: “He was nice…” I doubt it. I’ve known the man 29 years and he’s never been nice to anyone.
Here’s some warning signs, for your daughter or others:
* Pretty much are only interested in you as a cook, maid, and cock receptacle.
* Have no friends, or drive their friends off.
* Try to drive your friends off as well. The only people you’re “allowed” to socialize with is his family.
* Yell at you, a lot, and take out their rage at everyone else on you.
* Either ignores you, or wants your attention all the time so they can be waited on hand and foot.
yes.
you have a great point here with the “men who love women” thing. i can bring all sorts of examples to mind about how right you are 😉
Interesting blog title, Elsa – couldn’t miss this one! 🙂
You’re right, and wise to warn your daughter on this topic, young as she is.
The operative word here is “like”, and it’s something that some men and women don’t even consider in the mad race to copulate/procreate!
And, when you find someone you love, and decide that they do like women/men in general – whichever is appropriate, it’s wise to make sure you especially LIKE your chosen one, before making serious commitment. It’s a fine line, but an important one, I’ve always thought, between loving and liking – and loving doesn’t always ensure liking, odd as that may sound.
I’ve made a point to make that the FIRST quality of a mate, and I mean this romantic or otherwise…must like women…must. And I do want to be surrounded by women who like men as well.
Furthermore, a man who likes men! It follows that if you have someone in your life who genuinely likes all kinds of people, your relating will be easier. I guess this is why I love most Aquarians!
Yes I know LOTS of women like that. And men too. But it seems different with the women. Maybe this is just my experience, but the women who say “oh you just wait,” they seem bitter in general. Whereas the cock-blocking women (who just want the man) and the cock-blocking men) don’t have that generally bitter pall about them.
I remember a period in my twenties when I could NOT catch a break from those sort of bitter women. I encountered them everywhere and they had their missiles directed at me, big time. Granted, twentysomethings can be a bit annoying, but this was, like, damn! Moon opposite Pluto maybe…
I dont know. Before I get angry at a man for being this way, I check myself. I read alot of feedback from men that complain about women being bitter and ballbusters. While you may not want them littering your life, try not to blame the wounded animal acting out its pain. Instead blame the hunter that shot the arrow…
You know the saddest thing? It’s not only cock-blocking, it’s joy-blocking. They not only try to separate you from men, they try to separate you from your own children, by insinuating that you are not handling your pregnancy right, your birth choice was wrong, your nursing choice was wrong, you are not taking care of them correctly, etc.
I don’t have kids, but my friend regaled me with stories about these sorts of women just coming up to her in the middle of grocery stores and such, telling her ridiculous things she was doing wrong. Like holding them while opening the freezer compartment (they will get a cold!)….
CD I think you have my life, LOL! Well, not really, but I too have Moon opposed Pluto and I completely relate to your experiences. Maybe it’s a Moon/Pluto thing.
If your daughter likes Zucchero then she won’t want to miss Eros Ramazzotti on YouTube singing “I Belong To You” with Anastacia.
Elsa, looooove this topic. You are a great mom to provide that insight to your daughter. That’s the whole reason for having experienced suffering that makes us wiser-to share it with other women, especially our daughters. Jennifer, that is a domestic abuse offender who is a control freak. That is a man who has a very weak ego, & low self esteem. That sort of man is actually threatened by how wife, and probaly lots of other people as well.Here is one example of what, in my experience, on type of acting out a man who is jealous & resentful towards, or even hateful and using of women is sometimes. Take a “bi”/gay male who has his wife as his “beard” while living the “down low” scene on the side with other “straight” men. At the same time, he may have a mistress-the younger and more inexperienced the better, and using her as a hook to get with younger good looking, fit males and telling her it’s simply “swwinging” and he is not gay. Meanwhile, he is not even capable of being a boyfriend to his female Mistress or able to perform with her without viagra, plus avoids it at all costs. Now that’s a man who has mixed, negative, and probably even hateful feelings towards women. I have warned my daughters as well. Kudos Elsa!! Again great topic!
Oh PS…usually, this type of woman hater is initially, and some times for years, very capable of being extermely charming, a chameleon, and downright deceptive.
I can relate to this on some level. It’s not out of an ugly intention of wanting to “cock-block” per se but more out of a protective instinct. My earliest experiences showed me important women, especially my mom, getting hurt by otherwise likeable men (Mars conjunct Moon). I lived with an oversexed philandering single father and studied his patterns of behavior. And to my credit, my instincts have hardly ever missed a beat. Every time I have a girlfriend or even guy friends who fall for somebody, I have piercing insight into their object of affection’s true motivations right away that I can’t ignore. (Mercury square Pluto and trine Uranus) When it’s good, I am the greatest cheerleader for their relationship. But when it’s wrong –I used to warn against impending disaster ahead but when people have stars in their eyes, they kill the messenger (me) and thus the friendship.?
As I’ve gotten older and have learned that mistakes are vital to our growth and (most humblingly– It’s not my life!!), I’ve backed down on my warnings. Instead, I try to support my friends through the trials they have with these individuals. Knowing it’s their journey carved the choices they have made. Which is painful to watch sometimes. (Especially when it involves kids). ?
Ugh, I’m reading these cock blocking stories and I’m having all sorts of cringy ah ha moments. What awesome advice! I’m going to pass this on to my daughter. My Mom cock blocked me from a very young age, starting with my Dad. I don’t blame her though because I know she has her own reasons, history and pathology. I’m a romantic and being with a man is important to me, but I have shit to work through and these posts have been super helpful. I did marry a man, I was married to him for seven years and on the day of our divorce he told me he couldn’t love women. He aboslutely wanted to metaphorically kill the woman in me throughout our entire marriage and I probably did, too. Looking back, everything is crystal clear. Starting now, I’m opening myself to the men who love women. This is a major reason why on a very deep level I knew I needed to move away. I have friends here, couples, husbands and wives and they have been so inspiring to me. I’ve watched and learned from them. I recently fell off the bandwagon with another man who doesn’t like women but I LEARNED and I think for last time. I see this today, clearly. Major breakthrough. Thank you, Elsa.