At the moment, everywhere I look I see the Saturn Neptune opposition. The other night I was talking to a friend about crying.
He said he had no idea what to do when a woman started to cry. One tear and he’s paralyzed. And I thought this was strange since I know him to be enormously sensitive and emotionally sophisticated.
“I don’t understand that,” I said. “Why? I love to cry. I absolutely love it. Crying is as good as anything out there and I am very surprised it bothers you…”
He said it wasn’t that it bothered him. He just didn’t have any idea what he was supposed to do. “Do I hold the woman? Say something. Say nothing?” I just laughed.
Next thing you know I was explaining tears to him. I told him tears are what happen when boundaries (Saturn) fall. When your defenses fail (Neptune), or better yet, you release them.
“The walls come down,” I said. “It’s wonderful when someone cries in front of you. You get to see their soul open. Seriously. That is what is happening. Um… it’s like religion,” I said because he’s ultra-religious. “It’s like God, for Godsakes. You understand that, completely and there is no difference. It’s like the person is open and connected to something. It’s just a huge release…”
I can’t remember what he said. He was listening mostly.
“Well you should think about this,” I said being a Capricorn giving orders. “Because crying is one of the best things out there. It should not be missed. It’s like sex or anything else that is really stupendous. It makes your life much better. I cry all the time, you know. I really do. I cry pretty much every day.”
He was surprised. Like, why would anyone cry everyday? I kept talking:
“For example, today, I cried when I read the acknowledgments in a book I’m reading! Seriously. Because it’s hard to write a book. And I could feel this guy. I could feel how it must have been when he wrote these words. He was writing about his wife and his daughter and it was just great. I liked what he wrote and I was just crying all over the place. It was the best part of my day.” I stopped to chuckle. “But since I know how you feel I will try to remember to never have a tear around you.”
On that, I roared laughing. Whoops! Gonna cry! Best walk around the block!
And this is what it’s like to be a Saturn Neptune type. The gates open up, nearly spontaneously, tears flow and you feel connected to everything and everyone, everywhere. I have said many time I think my crying is one of the reasons I stay happy. I am releasing pain all the time.
So what about you? How do you feel about your tears (or lack of them)?
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I never cried for 40some years. Now (I’m 47) I cry all the time (yep, every day pretty much, and usually many times a day, and for all sorts of reasons, like you). I even cry in public now! And I can relate to everything you wrote above. Sadly, I wish I had discovered the power of tears in my *teens*, like I did sex, because there *is* a very strong co-relation between the two. In a sense, I feel I missed out on what could have been ’40 good years of crying’.
And I have to give *you* partial credit for this change in my life. There were other factors too, but reading your blogs these past few years where you often mentioned ‘your crying thing’ (including crying in public)… it had an impact on me allowing myself to finally ‘uncork myself’.
Oh… and I have a whole repertoire of tears too! There are different kinds of tears… different kinds of crying… I have discovered!! 😀 Kinda like sex there again!
I can never cry when I want to, and whenever I do cry, I always wish I wasn’t right then, because it’s not usually over anything I think is particularly important, or moving, or anything. It’s just something gets triggered and all of a sudden there’s tears. But when there’s intense pain or grief, I usually get huge racking sobs, but no tears.
I chose “rarely.”
I usually don’t cry very frequently _at all_, but here lately I’ve been crying up a storm! I’m happy you mentioned it could be a Saturn/Neptune thing because, looking back, it all started back when the opposition was forming and, honestly, I’ve hated it! I feel like such an emotional lightweight.
Seriously, yesterday I cried while listening to The Kinks “Come Dancing” and again to Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire!” These are not sad songs! *big laugh* 😀 So I’m glad this probably isn’t a permanent change for me. I’ll welcome the old, mostly-non-emotional me back with open arms.
I remember a friend from years back saying she cried everyday and i didn’t understand it, thought she must have some real issues in her life. Now i pretty much cry everyday, but then i do have some huge issues in my life and find it’s a release. It’s almost like taking a tranquiliser, after the big spill, i numb out and can think more clearly. It’s important to try and laugh as much as you cry though (and sometimes i do both!). Both crying and laughing will release hormones that sooth and ‘they say’ just smiling will trick your brain into thinking it’s happier than it may be. I have a heavily aspected moon (including a sat/nept aspect)and think that makes me that much more emotional so anything i can do to release those emotions can only be good.
I rarely cry. Tears make me uncomfortable. But…
I lost a friend 2 years ago. She died on her 23rd birthday. We were bf in high school.
I cried for a week. But didn’t go to her funerals because I couldn’t handle the pain.
I hate crying. That won’t stop me from doing it when the pressure builds too much, but it generally takes quite a bit to push me over that edge. Unless we’re talking the sappy sort of crying… Like, at sad or emotional movies. That I do all the freakin’ time. It’s only the pain-related crying that I try not to do.
I’m a professional. I cry everyday, several times even. Mostly by myself, sometimes just from sheer frustration, sadness, happiness, fear, anger, you name it, it makes me cry. I have Sat sq Nep in my natal chart, Pisces rising.
Most people don’t see or know this about me, but the one that does, is a bit uncomfortable. He thinks I’m sorta like the boy who cries wolf, but he doesn’t cry at all. I’ve seen him cry two times and unfortunately both were because of me.
Also, is that Roy Orbison? That song has been one of my favorites since I was a teen. I would play it on repeat on the jukebox at my old job.
Yep, that’s Roy.
I like crying, I feel tons better afterward although I don’t do it daily…but you’ve struck a chord re: it being soul-baring, because while I like to cry, I don’t let very many people see me do it. I usually need a motivator to let go ~ movies and such. Most recently was a music video that made me bawl.
I feel like that guy does when people cry. I bustle around to do something or give advice that will help. It’s not always a good thing to stifle someone like that. What do you mean by emotionally sophisticated?
Good grief! I cried just reading about all you dudes crying. I don’t like crying publically, though, for reasons that I can’t really get into.
I had some trouble at work recently and cried in front of my co-workers (all manly men who have known me for years)! It was sorta like a “crying at the dinner table as a child” feeling…I didn’t really like it.
Must be my Capricorn moon!
But saying that, if I see a stranger crying in public I almost always approach them and ask if I can help. And I have noticed when I am approaching tears publiclly, a little army of smiling, kind strangers magically appears…
I was crying a lot a couple of years ago; it was one of the things that made me finally admit I was clinically depressed. Now, not so much. I don’t like to cry; it makes my head hurt.
I too cry daily. For a water sign (Cancer) like me, a day without crying is like a day without sunshine. I had an acting teacher once who said I should be a professional mourner. I sink into it real deep real fast, lasting usually only about a minute or two, like a cleansing de-tox, releasing energy/tears which when held in the body can potentially cause problems. Many times we’re releasing sadness about stuff, even when we think it’s about something else. The body knows though. I always tell people the best thing you can do when someone honors you by releasing sadness in your presence is just give them your full attention without saying a thing. Don’t make it about yourself by saying, “I don’t know what to say…” JUST LISTEN, GIVE THEM YOUR EYES, AND BE THEIR WITNESS. It might be difficult at first, but when you’re on the receiving end of that, (when YOU cry), you’ll see how good it feels, and you’ll know it’s the best thing you can give someone else. Don’t try to adjust them, fix them, just BE with them. It’s pure love, man, let me tell you. And it’s the best healing. Anyone familiar with Alice Miller will understand what I’m talking about. CRYING MAKES YOU STRONG, STRONGER, STRONGEST!!! It’s our birthright as human beings.
This is most fascinating. I learned a lot about crying from y’all!
Thank you, Rainbo17, for what you said about just being there when someone else is crying. I always feel like I should hug a crying person and I am not a touchy-feely person so I am always uncomfortable!
I voted “rarely,” because it was the best choice. I do cry more often than rarely, just not frequently. It is such a release. However, I cry only when I need the release and that need simply does not happen often for me. For sure I do not go out of my way to watch tear-jerker movies.
I also notice that I cry more easily during PMS.
Ah good old crying! It makes my life so much less stressful.
I think one of the most destructive things that ever happened to me was when my mother trained me as a two/three year old not to cry. She said it was fine to cry in a special secret place where no one could hear but that we should always control our tears in front of other people. I know she didn’t mean it that crying was horrible but that’s sort of how it got created in my head and I lost the knack entirely. I cried when my father died and I was too devastated not to, but I never cried about it in public and I swallowed the majority of my tears for a decade.
I had to re-train myself to cry as an adult. I would seek out the books, the films, the memories and so on that made me sad and cry and cry and cry until I felt a bit more purged. I looked forward to sobbing sessions at the cinema, I used to practice public crying by walking down the street or sitting in a bus with tears on my face. No apologies, just the thing.
And like you I don’t cry because I’m sad. I cry because I’m angry or frustrated or moved or happy and it’s SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good.
I know it makes my husband uncomfortable because to him tears=distress=must fix=ham fisted attempts at comfort (Aries Moon god bless him), but he’s learning.
I (almost) never cry. I’ve gotten better about as I’ve gotten older, but crying just isn’t something I do. And sure as hell not in front of anyone!
Funny. When I first read this, I had actually *just* stopped crying after talking (IMing) with this really good friend of mine. And it was out of this feeling that he could see right through me, like he understood and he said exactly what encouragement I needed to hear… when I heard that, I felt softer, and it was like those words let me feel human, in a good way. And then, boom! Tears! Huge tears! All over the place kind of tears! Gushing!
And then, I read this entry you did! Voted “rarely cry” because I truly don’t cry that much! Strange coincidence? I don’t know.