Cowardly Men and Mars In The Horoscope

Have you ever noticed how the type of man who is willing to trounce on a woman’s boundaries… to attempt to manipulate and control her will back down the minute another man comes on the scene? I have seen this time and time and time again. It’s bam, bam, bam on the woman and then a man shows up the guy starts saying, “Yes sir!” ::smirks::

Same thing with perps who target children. Have you ever seen Dateline’s, “To Catch a Predator?” They film these guys coming over to have sex with 12-14 year olds. The men show up all hot to trot, 40 years old with their condoms and in some cases their cameras with every intent of having sex with these children and when a man walks out you ought to see them apologize and start to snivel.

It’d be humorous if it were not so nauseating and I have come to the conclusion it’s a pretty safe bet any man who overruns a woman or a child will cower if another man shows up to defend. So what’s that mean?

Well it means what I preach on this blog all the time is correct. Women have simply got to use their Mars.

If you’re a woman, do you ever feel like men are more willing to walk all over you? What about for men – how is life on the other side of things?

30 thoughts on “Cowardly Men and Mars In The Horoscope”

  1. Those men are definitely out there, just not in my life. I’ve had to encounter them at shops and stores.. but that is about it.

  2. My mother’s 2nd marriage was to a man who liked to hit her and berate her. She got in touch w/*her* Mars alright…started fighting back and eventually sent him careening down a flight of stairs. Once that happened, he never laid a finger on her again. (Except while she was 8 mos pregnant and generally defenseless…) Thankfully, I’ve never had to deal w/that stuff myself, but God help the man who thinks he can push *me* around!!

  3. definitely. I was the passive one for a really long time, and the moment you give a man a chance to abuse you, he will exploit it. It’s just human nature, I guess.
    It sucks you have to have your guard up most of the time, it’s just so energy consuming. My energy field(read being nice and caring) used to be wide open, but people would come in and just drain it completely. why can’t we all just get along?
    And it’s really sad that I have to become a bitch, to be respected. I hate that. It’s my last resort, but I see myself using it more and more. And I hate that I can sniff power abuse from miles away.It makes me lose interest in people so fast. I usually just walk away, and not keep in touch afterwards. Mars in Scorpio here.

  4. I find human beings in general fairly wounded and dysfunctional. There is also a lot of projection, blame and antagonism between the genders, especially in this country I’ve noticed. My personal experience with men is no different than with women.

    I’ve been stomped on by both. But, less by men. The two fathers of my children are pretty intense, but so are a couple of women in my life. For the most part, I find men to be very sweet, considerate, and basically wonderful. The type of men described in this blog, although I realize they exist, are not really part of my world.

    However, I agree that for women to have fully integrated and owned their masculine side is as important as men integrating their feminine. My daughters are both 3rd degree black belts, which in their case anyway, was an excellent way to keep that balance as young women in this culture.

  5. it’s a cultural sickness and there isn’t a simple cure. as long as we try to sweep wide chunks of the natural human instinct to mars behavior (and to pluto behavior) under rugs, the suppression will come out and illustrate that huge numbers of people don’t know how to use sexual energy or aggression, and have a horrible understanding of what power is and what it can be used for.
    these behaviors we don’t like are the result of people not knowing what to do with themselves, but doing anyway because the energy’s there and it’s got to come out somehow – their hurt places, their desire, their aggression have no reasonable, healthy outlets.

  6. I learned the hard way to project Mars energy out of my 12th House and through my ASC. Being Libra I really wanted to be nice . . . it took going through my first Saturn Return to stop doing that. Like Elena, I have Mars in Scorpio & can spot power abuse from a long way off too.

  7. I still think males wanting to dominate is cultural and not innate in most cases. It bothers me when people pigeonhole or otherwise stereotype men or women. I have a husband who is extremely caring and careful with his moods and effect on me, and I know many men who are caring and sensitive and not dominating (and no, they’re not gay).

    Testosterone is no excuse for anything–neither is being drunk or high.

    Your Uncle,


  8. There is so much that can be said here.

    When I am in doubt about a guy, and even when I’m not, I introduce him to male friends. If they don’t get along in a very specific, rankled type of way, I usually know what type I have on my hands. The type that woos you in, makes you feel like a million bucks, and then starts trampling and stomping and controlling.

    I’ve found it to be a good test. Especially if someone refers to him as a “knob”.

  9. I’ve Mars in Aquarius in 3rd house. It’s Trine my 11th Sun, Venus, Uranus (all in Libra) and 7th Saturn in Gemini. I’m not quite clear regarding how that sort of Mars functions in heading off “abuse”. I will say I get rather impatient when I come across “victim mentality” sorts and have to consciously remind myself that we’re all exactly where we need to be at that point in our life.

  10. A friend of mine was married to a man like that (sorta): Very narcissistic and controlling, very willing to challenge others’ “authority,” but if you stood up to him he became almost fawning.
    It’s so. . . argh! Childish and frustrating, are the first words to come to mind. And I’ve seen the same in women, it’s not just men.

    I try to steer clear of those people. I just don’t have the energy to spend in those types of power games, thank you very much.

  11. Generally I do find men want to dominate, control situations and take action without asking first.
    I’ve been trying to build up my Mars for 44 years! in an effort assert myself appropriately.
    I’ve been living on my own (with my children)as a response to controlling men, in order to strengthen myself. Just the other day I had a negative experience with a male in authority – he’s an abuser – no people skills, rules by sheer force and intimidation – I was furious, with knees shaking, I spoke my mind, however quietly and quickly left. Days later I’m gratefull to have my eyes wide open to that man.
    On another note: women are socialised to be nice from an early age. It can take years to undo that and learn to assert oneself.

  12. back in jr. high i noticed that i was always placed in a leader role. i never asked for it, it was just given to me. high school same. navy and college, same. work same. i would look for the type of woman that would share the role. to help make decisions and share in the “control”. i am not sure why people assume or place me in the control side. i asked a friend why me. her answer? that i just looked the part and when in the role, i do it very well. that i ooze confidence. i protect my female friends and when i hear of such stories, it sickens me to know that because i am a male, i am tossed into the general pot that all men are like this. power? i’ll share it with you any time. maybe it is because i am an only child and watched my parents share the duties of the home. i always try to find out if the woman wants to have me in charge or do some on her own. i like not having the pressure to be in charge. but i can be a gentleman. anything wrong with that?

  13. OK. TOTAL non-sequitur. But I just read an article in the New York magazine, about how being prude is hot! I think it gives a lot of food for thought, especially since here at this blog there is a lot of talk about porn, and porn addiction. This certainly makes me thing of the upcoming Virgo times. Can’t wait!!!

  14. Oh yeah, been there, done that. I’ve also found that a woman who can and will stand up for and defend herself can, at the very least, halt the perps in their tracks. We can’t always completely back them down the way a man can, but it’s been effective for me when it comes to keeping my head not-bashed-in by a bully.

    These men disgust me. Really, we should have another word for them other than ‘men’. It’s just too disgraceful to REAL men.

  15. This is a new development for me. But I used to be really scared of walking home late at night in my neighborhood. It’s about a 5 (New York City) block walk into my neighborhood, with a narrow 2 way street for cars. In the past I’ve been partially followed home by a guy in a bike telling me how he had been watching me and wanted to marry me (scary as hell), a few times guys have pulled up next to me and beckoned me to get in the car with them, or drive along side me trying to flirt; all good reasons to be terrified in my opinion especially as a petite (5’1) woman.

    But for some reason lately, (after graduating college) that fear has dwindled dramatically. Its nice to walk home fearlessly. My natal Mars is in the 10th House conjunct Pluto in Scorpio. I wonder if this could be tied into my current Pluto transits over my sun & asc, which is lighting up my natal mar/pluto conjunction is some way that says, “don’t fuck with me”

    I definitely think my Mars/Pluto in Scorpio makes me a plotter/planner, I seethe as I plan ways to secretly/intricately bring about swift and harsh justice to those who pose a threat to me. Generally those who have gotten under my skin several times get this reaction.

    I witnessed a fair amount of power abuse with my parents growing up, I’m not sure what their Mars placements are, but I know that it was always loud, emotional and messy when it came to power. I think Mars in Scorpio enables me to do the exact opposite. I’d rather go underground and plot all the ways I can turn the tables and still have law & order. I’m willing to follow the rules, but it better go my way.

  16. the men in my family are more likely to be gentler than the women.
    for whatever reason. the women tend to be firebrands.
    i’d never considered that i let a man walk all over me. although one or two tried, it was a good reason to leave- i simply don’t stand for it.

    i think that’s the 8th house aries sun and venus, as well as 7th house mars talking…
    (comes from pushing back against my mother, i guess)

    of course, all of that is also why i’m apparently somewhat intimidating to men, in general…

  17. Hey, JChiron,

    I’m 5’1″, too, and people have ~never~ fucked with me! *LOL*
    True, being short gets you labeled as “victim” by some, but I’ve found that carriage will ameliorate most of that. One of the psychologists I worked for confirmed it – stand and walk confidently and people will take you more seriously. (Incidentally, she was also our height!) She also used to use me to illustrate to some of her more shy, picked-on kids how to be confident and assertive without being aggressive, even if you looked unassuming. 🙂
    I’m glad you’ve found your eight-foot-tall-and-bulletproof self (as my friends call it when I get “that look”). Keep it up, chicka!

  18. I had to stand up against my father when I was 13. He could throw fits like hell (moon conjunct pluto square sun in Aries), and I used to be so scared of him that I didn´t feel safe anywhere. One day he was in a rage, burst into my room (almost chopping my solid wood door to pieces with just his bare hands) and started to beat me – I stood with my back against the wall, literally, and felt I had to fight for my life, as he was in such a temper he didn´t even recognize me as being a human being, let alone his daughter. So I took a clothes hanger and hit him back, which was so surprising to him I stopped him in his tracks. It was like breaking an ultimate taboo, but it kind of freed my mars, so in some twisted way I was grateful for that, but only very much later. Seemed like some Special-Forces-Training. Just knowing that there´s some force one can put up against a seemingly unstoppable wave of power and destruction…whoa. De-Victimization.

    After that, I found out step by step that this kind of low-level-power-asserting-cowards Elsa described (I´m with seekingzen there, let´s not call them men, it´s an insult to real men) can sense balls, even in a female form. They never messed with me, even tried to be “good friends” with me (yak!)the same way they try to with men they suppose to be stronger. I´ve developed a strong strain of female machismo (is there a word for that? Femachismo?)in that which I use -more or less subtly- in dealing with men. They have to earn MY respect to be considered equal, and I identify them by their guts and their hearts, not by what´s dangling between their legs. Which takes it´s toll on my (very) soft female side sometimes, I have to admit- but you can´t have all.

    So, I could really really relate to JChirons post. Fearlessness is the key. (And I love plotting secretive underground ways too!)

    By the way, I don´t know why taurus is considered a not-so-good placement for mars. I´ve found it very effective. Mars in taurus doesn´t rush into fights and can deal with a lot before throwing a temper, but when it comes to fighting, taurus mars is an immovable tower of power and solid like a rock. I mean, it´s the BULL, not the cow. It´s like “ok, I´d rather be grazing, but if you get on my nerves, I just run you over. The grass will still be there afterwards, but you won´t.” Hey, we´ve got horns… and pretty straight ones, not the fancy twisted aries sort.

  19. SaDiablo,

    I think you’re right about the walk with confidence bit. Pluto running over my Sun & ASC is like boot camp for my confidence and general aura. In the past people have frequently told me how self-assured I appeared, very in control, but back then I didn’t feel that self-assuredness or believe it. But after Pluto shook me into shape (quite literally, actually) I actually can feel that self-assuredness and sometimes actively project it. I think this transit gave my Pluto-Mars the go ahead to start projecting they really must’ve been like FINALLY!

    Oh and just looking up my parent’s Mars placement. Mom’s got Mars in Aries (she likes to blow up) and Dad’s Mars in Cancer (defensive, but once attacked will snap back.)

  20. Haha Kundrie!

    I’m learning to appreciate Taurus quite a bit. I only have my N.Node in Taurus, some I’m supposed to be learning how to take one step at a time to get what I want. I have to be wary of my power-plotting issues or causing others unneeded pain, because my S. Node conjoins my Mars/Pluto conjunction. Still it feels good to project fearlessness, people can certainly dole out physical harm to me if they wish, and while I don’t want that, I know that my soul is protected by a higher power, and I can call upon my legion of angels, guides and goddesses to protect and guide me. Being in good physical shape is a great shield, but being spiritually protected just adds to the armor in my opinion.

  21. I generally don’t run across this sort of man–I saw a lot of this going on in college, though. Guys would go up to girls on the bus and start that stuff. Never me. I was always wearing dark sunglasses and had this “Don’t come near me, don’t speak to me, stay away from me” vibe.

    Pluto in Scorpio was squaring my Sun-Mars in Leo conjunction at that time, so I was definitely giving off some strong (probably even unpleasant) vibes at that time.

    Mars in Leo also says R-E-S-P-E-C-T me or stay the hell away! 😉 Creepy men don’t come near my space.

  22. i know those guys are out there, but i don’t generally have problems with that in my personal life.

    i have mars in scorpio. when i’m challenged or feel cornered in some way (either by a male or female), usually it’s my mouth that comes out to toss some water on the situation. i have strong mercury in my chart, which conjuncts pluto, so i have the ability to see the truth underneath situations and communicate the shadow side that’s being denied, in a way that’s difficult to ignore it. or at least that’s my self-perception.

    but i do know it’s definitely my mouth that i use as protection against this kind of junk…

  23. They stay away from me too. My sun,mars,venus and pluto hidden in the 12th is a powerhouse. And I do it all through libra – being nice. I am also acutely aware of being moved into a vulnerable position through social conventions and just don’t respond to it. Like how a predator might start up a conversation and then try to come close. I just give them a stare and keep on moving – head up. Most of them seem to sense that they won’t be able to dominate me.

    I had a psychic sense a dark protective angel around me and that’s what i sense as well – whether it’s true or just the energy of those hidden powerful planets.

    My mars is also conjunct my ascendent. And aries rules my 7th. Sigh all that strength also makes it hard sometimes to let a man in to find venus. But I figure real men should be cool with a woman’s strength and just take the time to get to know me.

  24. I’m with Kundrie on the Taurus Mars bit. That’s what my fiance’s got and he’s just wonderful… Veeeery slow to anger, and once he’s mad he still doesn’t ‘blow’, but he will make it crystal clear what’s ok and what’s not. No screaming, no tantrums, just a very determined bit of assertiveness. Makes it hard to believe he’s Aries sometimes… lol

  25. LOL Lis,

    I have Mars in Leo too. When people try to overpower me, sometimes I’m almost surprised. Like “oh, silly, you must have me confused with someone who tolerates that. Move along, now”

  26. I’ve got a Taurus Mars, and it’s definitely a bull. I’ve also got Scorpio rising, which is a bullshit detector. However, I’ve also got Neptune conjunct Ascendant and opposing Mars, which makes other people sometimes see me as a mark. So I sometimes attract predators (yes, I can see that’s what they are), who will try to push me around, which my slow-ass reactive Mars will let them do — to a point. Ultimately, if they don’t go away, I end up exploding at them. It’s a very exhausting dance. I’ve often wondered how I can short-circuit this behavior.

  27. Absolutely. I give them an inch and they take a mile. Not all of them of course. There are lots of men who honor their own personal boundaries. But there are significantly more “hungry souls”, proportionately, in the male sex than the female sex.
    I also think percieved weakness can bring out the opportunistic, primal side in those that are cowardly.
    In my case, im not afraid to use my mars in scorpio conjunct uranus, sextile jupiter and saturn, but Id prefer that these men just behave like civilized human beings, not out of fear, but just out of decency.

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