I started a thread in the forum asking people how long it took to get to know them. I don’t think it takes that long to get to know me, but I may be wrong about this.
A few days ago, a woman I know very well told me she was surprised by someone I introduced her to. I’d told her many stories about this man for the last couple years. He’s a strong character. I had pictures of him, etc.
I have a high opinion of this man. He’s honest, funny, trustworthy; he’s polite, he has discretion, he’s interesting…he’s just an all-around stand-up guy. If you give him a problem and he takes it on, that’s it. You don’t have to worry about anything else. He’ll do exactly what he says he’ll do, in the promised time frame. He often does something extra. He’d never cheat you and he can handle any situation that might come up.
Recently, the woman and the man met. She found him to be exactly as I described. “I had my doubts,” she said.
I was floored. “Doubts? Why would you have doubts?” I asked.
I know this gal well. I thought she knew me as well. Well here’s something she didn’t know or maybe doesn’t know. I don’t embellish things! This seems important to state with Saturn in Sagittarius.
It also reminds me of how common it is for people to exaggerate or inflate something. I’m not interested in fake stuff at all. If there is anything we need right now, it’s good sources of information.
I know it’s common to spin things up these days. It seems more common today than it was in times past, but I might have just been naive.
Do people know the real you?
No. Most people see Virgo rising and since many are surface people, that suffices. The few who really do know me would describe a different person. I’m pretty open about my feelings on Elsa Elsa though. Maybe it feels safe for various reasons.
People know me for the most part. I’m happy to share my thoughts/experiences if asked, but not a lot of people ask and if it’s not relevant to the conversation, why bring it up?
I make friends easily, I have Libra and Aquarius. But I also tend to observe more than I talk and let the other person direct the conversation unless I just *have* to speak about a topic.
I’m sure my perception is a bit skewed though. I think I’m quite open but my best friend recently said that I was a tricky one to figure out. My Neptune is highly aspected, and I’m sure that’s part of it.
I didn’t let anybody know who I really was for probably most of my life. But over the past 3-4 years I’ve stopped listening to my Pluto in the 3rd fears and complexes and really began ripping the social nicety bandaid off and allowing people in. Now whether they see it or not -depends on them and what their agenda is. With Neptune aspecting my Ascendant, people tend to project both good and bad things on me. I’m a this. I’m a that. I’m a something or another. Even when I correct them, they still whatever they want to see. ?
I don’t think people know the real me, but I don’t believe this is because I’m not showing people the *real* me. I know everyone is multifaceted, and I am no exception. But people usually only see what they want to see in our culture anyway…for example, in my local astro group, I had someone once tell me that they doubted I was a Scorpio Ascendant because I was NOT *intimidating enough* to them…what’s intimidation have to do with it? I am also a Gemini Sun (8th house) so of course there is more duality with me.
Not to sound whining, but my whole life I have been misunderstood. Even being as open as I am about my faults, thoughts, interests, and aptitudes, I still feel like a loner, and that no one has “cracked the code”, so to speak.
it depends on the individual. for example, my husband knows me and accepts me so because of that, Im super warm, happy & feel free. if I don’t feel that, then I am standoffish, I mirror I guess. people closest to me know me and that feels good that they do.
No. I doubt anyone know the real me. I hide my pain well. With my Cancer stellium the lion retreats in to a cave, howls and licks the wounds.
Most people know only a facet of me. I wouldn’t call that facet fake, but I wouldn’t say it’s all of me either. I’m multi-faceted. I’m also quite secretive and do not tell just anyne what truly intrests me, which is like you know…..astrology, psychology, mysticism, occult stuff.
I have Leo riding so I can put a good sunny exterior on for show which suffices for most people. Anyone who is a deep enough person to find out more about me can do that. I will be open with these type of people.
I think as I get older I’m a lot more comfortable about my interests. Especially because I think the best therpists and psychologists study the things that intrest me. These things are not so taboo under these circumstances. And with what I’m going to graduate school for atm…it will all be for something…it will be put to good use eventually.
I have Neptune square Sun. So yes, though I’m an honest and very straightforward person, I often challenge people in getting to know me better. I think to communicate effectively, but it gets misinterpreted a lot. Like they all try to force their inner voices into my words. Things I didn’t even thought are believed I said. It was irritating for a very long time, now I try to see the humorous side of it. At least I know a lot about others. 😛
We all ave our”spin” on things. Been contemplating that term lately in reference to getting the story straight, another Saturn in Sagitarius theme. One person’s story spin may not be another’s. So sad my recent experience of this phenomena. Did a huge favor for someone, I mean exhausted myself off the top sure I’ll help offering. Way too much being asked. I did one thing, in my view, very small in the big picture. To them it was astronomical how I misused them. So sad. They walked away with a free job and I a bad reputation. It’s all in how one spins the story. Know your storyteller before heading off to help them. They could spin things to get a free deal. This was a thirty some year relation. But I do hold a sense of responsibility as I knew this relation had been fading for sometime but choose to be “optimistic” about an old friend or so I believed.
Oh, Ann. What a drag. I am so sorry.
I have another post, live later today. I hope it helps you absorb this loss. 🙁
I have a 1st house Sun conjunct Pluto, so I can’t live without people knowing The Real Me. Even when The Imagined Me would be better. But really, I have Neptune square Ascendant, so that’s rare. I spent 6 years of my life with a person who didn’t have a clue – we also have a Composite Chart Neptune conjunct Descendant. I will never go back to that.
Up until now, I thought I had a 12th house moon (placidus reading). Since learning about whole houses (which places my moon in the first house, and my mars on the ascendent), I’ve realized that maybe the latter is more accurate. It’s not so much about not being able to express emotion, (my emotions show all over my face)! I actually find it difficult to justify these emotions in words i.e. explain how I feel. This can leave observers perplexed. Still not sure of what people read from me. Ugh!
The past 3 years or so, I have been a very humbled patient to a “FRENEMA ” my term for the Facebook of real life shitting out or at someone all over the place where they have been holding back a something that had to go or give or get made riģht. And wayyyyyy back to my late teens and earliest 20s I was guilty of embellishments that I am not sure why or how I can define or defend myself,but it was not about people I knew beyond same apartment building or workplace (700 employees) and then I was horrifed to learn from other parts of the world that I was apparently not far from the truth and 2 people the truth was just way too much creepy gross for even my imagination….
So the Frenema that I mentioned has taken me to the place of answering questions from people in my life with the truth, and that is a total unembellished lack of metaphor and all. And they think I am full Of shit!
Omg FRENEMA
Im sorry but please move to put that on urban dictionary post haste :p
I really don’t know if people know me but if they do, I would ask them to tell me because I have no clue.
Aquarius rising after Uranus came by… 🙂
Frenema was just around the same time that I collectively came up with Clam Slam along with my fellow Scorpio friend Kristin who is a lipstick lesbian and was recently single for the first time in several years. She’s been certain of her sexual orientation her whole life and the girls she is attracted to are very much soft butch. She’s also about 5′-11″ and for the first time in her dating experience, she had competition. So we were talking about how she was 21 or 22 last time she was single and the 21 year old girls are so much pushy than she was, and somehow we morphed female cockblocking to clam slamming and that’s MY real me.I’m not even sure how to be unreal. I remember being in the music business and my manager for one label who is a real person too, but double Taurus Leo rising so money money and the appearance of the allure…I’m absence of business in the world that involves creating…my compulsion to make stuff from thoughts or objects is not going away, I have had it always and I felt like weird to get paid for a cathartic process I was made to apologize for half my life growing up. But I remember her saying that I had great stage presence but no stage persona. I didn’t understand. And she told me that I should have a character that I can do when I am singingand playing whatever but I have to get back to my dressing room and not watch the main act I’m touring with from the rest of the club. Or I am not going to seem special… I forgot that till now. I said I would do as asked. But I couldn’t. And I just got along even a couple times talking to people who were talking about my own performance 20 minutes earlier to me, and NOT aware that I am the same person so I played along and pretended I just got there. And That is not like ME-I am really chicken shit about hearing reviews and feedback on music because I know that it is going to be in my head when I am in the middle of writing in the future. Doesn’t matter if it’s positive or negative…I am going to feel the impact and then I too will be clam slammed into a silence of a NOT really me state, probably a very big reason why I am not in the music industry anymore…that and a stroke I had ten years ago during a grand mal seizure that paralyzed enough to be able to make a little respite from my own life. If you don’t listen; your body pulls out a fail safe and then you have nothing else to do but listen!
sometimes better than i do. at least vis a vis what makes me stand out
I don’t know. I get the feeling many just do not want to really know me. Am much less conversive, is that a word? Discussive, is that a word? Don’t feel like I am fit for prime time at the moment. I am people pleasingless?
I think it’s okay if people don’t really know me. The important thing is for me to know who I am.