I wrote this, April, 2001. It’s the first astrology blog post ever written on the internet. I think 5 people were reading back then…
Venus in aspect with Neptune (also applies to Venus in Pisces, or Venus in the 12th) gives dreamy ethereal heavenly love. I write from experience!
Venus Neptune fantasizes love and is able to temporarily create heaven on earth in relationship. There is an abundance of faith, and an aversion to reality in love. They do not see their love, or the beloved as something or someone down to earth or REAL. Rather, what they are involved in is otherworldly, specially blessed, heavenly and so forth. Their love is ethereal and dreamy and pure and hoo-boy is it ever FETCHING.
Venus Neptune tantalizes…
Come hither and all your pain and sins will be washed away.
They mean it, and they deliver the goods too.
Bring me your tired, your poor…
For awhile.
The illusion can only be held up so long and then the veil drops. Inevitably, this occurs because it is smoke and mirrors and delusion and self delusion and really really really great UN-real love on deck.
Everyone knows someone like this. They dial you up and tell you they have just met the be-all-end-all man/woman of their dreams. You have heard this before, but you listen and they go on and on about the new nirvana they live in. How after all their struggles in love, all the sacrifices they have made – they cannot believe it, but their sweet reward in on the scene in the form of Mr/s X, who they plan to live with, in bliss forever.
They have done it! They’ve found the holy grail, the key to heaven, a holy relationship, something others could not possibly understand. They are drunk with love. They worship the beloved and project superhuman qualities onto them. They build them up, pump them up, while simultaneously ignoring and erasing away any sign that the beloved is a flawed human being.
You shake your head because you KNOW that this person will be gone in a few weeks and sure enough, here is the next phone call.
“That ()(*&*^%^ stole my money/cheated on me/was married…” etc. etc.
Recognize this?
Okay, the Venus Neptune person does not see this worth a damn. Even if they DO see it, they forget that they saw it within a week or a month because the thrust here is to reach nirvana and NOT to find out that NIRVANA does not exist.
What?
Men fart? Women throw their clothes on the floor?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Back at the love nest, what happens is the beloved cannot possibly live up to the ideal of the Venus Neptune person, so they act like a normal man or woman and RUIN EVERYTHING.
Often the person the Venus Neptune partner has thrown on a pedestal is nowhere near worthy of being on one. They are not even an AVERAGE or COMMON guy/gal. In fact they are WORSE than average and so you can see how it is heady stuff for the partner.
Here is this lying cheatin’ jerk and no one can stand the SOB. But Venus Neptune comes along as savior and is going to wash them up. They can’t see the flaws that are blatantly obvious to the non-deluded.
The partner often thinks, I don’t know what drug this person is on, but I am going to make hay while the sun shines, which sees the Venus Neptune person used to some degree. When this scenario forms Venus Neptune fights to remain blissfully ignorant.
Tell Venus Neptune “I don’t think that guy in jail that you are bringing cigarettes to 3 X a week is really your soul mate” and just watch ’em get cranky and duck and dodge.
Tell em, “Uh…. that guy is married and not only cheating on his wife with you, but also with X and Y and Z,” and get the same reaction and result.
Venus Neptune is not interested in facts and reality. There is too much invested so the illusion is held up and held onto as long a possible which is often an astoundingly long time to the outside observer.
See, Venus Neptune is high and prefers to stay that way so if you continue to wag reality in their face, they will be rid of you – a troublemaker who cannot possibly understand.
Know anyone like this? Are you someone like this?
Dear Elsa,
a natal Mars-Venus conjunction in Libra in the 12th House in sextile with Neptune, 2nd House Sag.
🙂 🙂
One day I’ll write ‘that best-seller’!
🙂
cherie, I have no idea. I just started blathering one day and now I am here. I do think it remarkable it was not until 2005 that the 2nd astrology blog came into being.
Elsa, a colleague of mine who is into astrology asked me to draw her birthchart today. I think we were discussing her Pisces Venus (we should have a 10 hours time difference between us) the moment you posted this !
Well I have Venus Neptune myself so…. 🙂
::runs off for a love fix:::
Well……. I’m just gonna say it like this……
Venus conjunct Neptune in Sadge in the 12th.
GASP !! Women throw their clothes on the floor?
Ha !! Where’s my Princess Charming?
I SOOO wish I had been one of your “5” readers back then, and known this about myself (Venus sextile Neptune). Perhaps would have saved me the last 10 years of grief … but then again, since I am so delusional … maybe not 🙂
I REALLY needed to read this, thank you.
I can identify (Neptune conj my asc). Everything is surreal…
I was wondering, how does it affect relationship when a partner’s Venus falls in 12th?
BTW, your blog remains relevant 9+ years later! 🙂
LOL Sagittarian.
(I didn’t come along til November of that year, so I didn’t catch this til the repost some time later. Still love it <3 )
I have Venus in Pisces. Of course, the guys I love are sooo much better than those bad guys! At least for a while… and yes… way longer than most people would tolerate. Oh well. It is nice while it lasts (which is forever, on some level, by the way).
Wow! That is frighteningly accurate! I have Venus and Neptune in Scorpio in the 12th. My Aries BFF has spent more time over the years trying to knock some sense into my head when I fall for these guys. She can NEVER see what I see in them. Even I don’t know what I see in them sometimes! It’s like a magnetic attraction that I can’t seem to control. I become obsessed. Right now it’s a young man with Sun in Libra, Mars conj Asc in Scorpio. He took my breath away the first time I met him (Nov last year) and I’ve been crazy(for him)ever since. My Aries friend is ready to lock me up.
I have the exact same .
Noone can talk you out of it until it crashes and burns . 13 years later – does it still apply ?
I’ve learned that the more you fight the dream, the bigger it gets. I’ve been lucky.
Well I discount my Venus Neptune conjunction since it is a 10 degree orb to it.
However, my little daughter who is 9 has Venus Aries in the 12th house..gulp!
Elsa told me venus pisces in aspect to jupiter made me “idealize love and pine for escape” and I couldn’t agree more.
Venus in the 12th: I totally overidealized my ex-. Now she’s gone and off with someone else and I still overidealize here.
😉
max
[‘Such is neptune.’]
There is lots of Neptune and Pluto in my known universe playing on folks’ relationships, including mine.
Neptune I feel should be tied up and gagged any time he tries to affect people’s relationships…
Pisces 7th House = Doomed to have to settle for trash, or remain alone. I HATE this area of my chart.
Oh, excuse me, Pisces+Aries 7th House… Which is even worse… Temperamental, druggie drifter + angry and forward… And, attempts to do well despite, or even because my 7th House and Moon go nowhere. Absolutely nowhere. While guys like this looking to get me to let them in while I know better also get nowhere. It seems I will forever be in a standstill with men.
@Hami- as Theo said it so well on this blog: The planets don’t compel, they only incline. The gift is to be able to understand it using this kind of lens, then to apply yourself to overcoming it.
It does seem, I can only imagine :-), that you are stuck between the two poles of trash men or loneliness. With Neptune conj. Asc. in Scorp. and Venus also in Scorpio, I can only too well write that book. I’m not in happy ever after land, but lately I have been successfully avoiding more shit involvements, which is for me a huge deal.
I’ve read here things like “I have Pluto” or “I have Libra” “Virgo” etc. Well I have Neptune, fo sho, and it was a novel idea at the time when Else told me that since I have it, I can choose to learn to use it instead of it using me. I can turn down the volume, pick somebody decent based on his merits, then turn up the volume, like putting on the old Al Green when I want.
I’m working on this in my spare time, like learning a new language. Clumsy, but you can see the possibilities. Sorry for your trouble, Hami. I wouldn’t wish it on anybody, but then, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world.
Theo was quoting someone else:’
“Ptolemy is the author of the very wise saying, which reflects our modern view on astrology, that “the stars incline, but they do not compel”.
(2nd century AD)
source http://www.astrotheme.com/files/history_of_astrology.php
Thanks for the post from the Wayback Machine. I wish I had been in on your scene from the Xanga days. Your voice is still as true and clear as it was then!
Maybe it’s because I’m tired and reading this on my phone, but what about Virgos?
I have Venus/Neptune in conjunction, if you use wide orbs. If not, they are both in Sag, so I long for Grand Love, and fantasize plenty. If it wasn’t for my Cap sun in aspect to my Virgo moon/Saturn conj., I would’ve been chasing a variety of fixer-uppers for years and years, instead of sticking it out with one ;). All that earth keeps me from running back out to curb the yearning. Or maybe that’s Saturn in Libra
I’ve got Neptune sextile Venus, so a smidge of this. Pluto overpowers, though, so it usually turns out like “this is an awesome fantasy, let’s see how it plays in real-time! *splat!* Uh… that coulda went better… Hey! You! Maybe it’ll work with you!!”
Nevah, evah learn, apparently. 🙂
@max: I’m right there with ya, babes. *fistbump* I’ll catch myself thinking something wonderful about the ex and have to remind myself that, oh yeah!, he’s an asshole. 😉 An asshole with Venus in the 12th. *smirk*
@max: I’m right there with ya, babes. *fistbump* I’ll catch myself thinking something wonderful about the ex and have to remind myself that, oh yeah!, he’s an asshole. 😉
‘Oh, yeah, she can be a kinda bitchy hypochondriac pain’ isn’t really that catchy though.
An asshole with Venus in the 12th. *smirk*
Ouch. That smarts. Did he overidealize you?
max
[‘C’est la vie.’]
No clue, but I suspect he did. ‘Twould be par for the course, yes? We both have Venus-Neptune and Venus-Pluto, so I have a sneaky suspicion that I played out the Pluto (oh, boy, did I ever) while he played out the Neptune. ‘Cause, obvy, you can’t integrate both, yanno. *rolls eyes @self*
“‘Oh, yeah, she can be a kinda bitchy hypochondriac pain’ isn’t really that catchy though.”
Not very catchy, no, but you could just shorten it to “oh, yeah, she’s a (pain/drag).” It could work. 🙂
She was a pain and a drag often enough but I overidealized her anyways and still do. And if that isn’t Venus/Neptune I dunno what is. She’s married and I still do it. I think it surprises her.
We both have Venus-Neptune and Venus-Pluto, so I have a sneaky suspicion that I played out the Pluto (oh, boy, did I ever) while he played out the Neptune. ‘Cause, obvy, you can’t integrate both, yanno. *rolls eyes @self*
Well, you were practicing for when the real thing came along, eh?
max
[‘Win some, learn some.’]
“She was a pain and a drag often enough but I overidealized her anyways and still do.”
Word. It’s okay, though, we love you anyway. 🙂
“Well, you were practicing for when the real thing came along, eh?”
That’s an excellent theory and I’m going to steal it shamelessly. 😀
Venus in pisces here, definitely fool in love.
Pretty sure I was one of those five readers…
Anyway, I had no idea until recently that I actually have Venus in the 12th…. in my solar chart! That’s why I didn’t know about it for so many years, because I had never considered my solar chart until very recently, as in the past six months.
Gawd it describes me so well. Thankfully I have been consciously trying to rise above and am hopeful that things will change.
@curious wanderer – If you think in terms of a solar chart – Pisces rules the 7th. 🙂
Yes, cherie. 🙂 The plot thickens and that’s the way we like it! 🙂
So how can we fix this? I’m tired of living in a fantasy while all my friends are getting married. 🙁
Venus trine neptune, moon conjunct neptune along with sun and merc in the 12th house. This describes me perfectly however after i realized he wasnt perfect i was able to love him and with his venus and moon square neptune most days he still loves me.
Your article perfectly describes my behavior in love relationships… I’ve been studying astrology for 10 years and I just burned myself again(!) because I wanted to believe my delusion more than I cared to heed the warnings in my chart.
Venus in Pisces in the 12th house Pisces, square Neptune in Saggitarius
I don’t think Pluto in my 7th house opposition Sun and Ascendent helps bring clarity to that aspect either…
I’m listening to my chart from now on! The pattern is always the same.
Thanks for the cute article 🙂
Thanks 🙂
Elsa:
Yep! That sums it up! Except now that I’m older, and have redirected 12th house Venus trine 5th house Neptune energies into universal love and creativity, I am soooooooooooo much happier — and I mean spiritually happy. Because no one can live up to the fantasy of Venus-Neptune, but spiritual love and creativity!
Ha! I have Sun and Venus in fifth house Pisces squaring Neptune in the third… (my sixth house aries mercury squares it too actually)! When I relate past relationship mishap to friends they generally recoil in horror and utter bafflement over some of the things I have put up with, so naturally this article made me laugh so hard I nearly fell out of my seat. Thanks Elsa!
Still looking for a ‘cure’; random crush on complete loser is entering year three and it’s so hard to give up on such a beautiful illusion/delusion! I agree with Charioteer ‘though, at least it makes for good poetry/Elsa blogs 😉
Ps. I feel your pain Aries Goddess!
Reading this makes me aware of my whole life love patterns. I was desperate being so unhappy in love, while others have normal relationships. How many times I was in love, it is uncauntable, and everytime it was a big dissapointment – he really has no interest in me or was unavailable, or our relationship was impossible.
My first big adolescent crush was a heroin addict, for me he was a saint, luckily he find a girlfriend and was unavailable for a while. After him I was constantly in love, but never one of them has grown in real relationship.
My marriage was my escape from love dissapiontments, but I was totally unhappy in it, without the sparkles of eternal love mist I want to feel.
Having health problems lately, my biggest fear was that I could die not finding my true love that waits for me. Now I am finding comfort knowing it doesnt exist in this world. It was all just my Venus sextile Neptune sitting in 12 house. But I am not so ashured I would not fall in its spell again.
omg…this is me.
and i am currently in love..
to me he is perfect and i imagine how we would be together.
as of right now he is my infatuation…and boy is he perfect. and i like him in my fantasies and for now thats the only place i can handle him.
i don’t have time for a real relationship… and if i were in a relationship with him and if he turned out to be something other than what i hold him to be then i would just rather have him be a fantasy.
he is so special that if he really is my dream man come to life then i am just going to let the universe be the one doing the pursuing. if we are meant to be it will be.
i am just soooo glad i had the chance to meet my dream man. 🙂
he is beautiful too.. tall, dark, and really really handsome.
my venus is in taurus trine neptune in capricorn…my moon is in taurus too…
It’s not completely about love! It’s about feeling the need to find peace within solitude. And appreciating beauty. And so many other things. I have Venus in Pisces,in the 12th house and Neptune has decided, to the degree, to make home there.
Welcome, Lorelie! 🙂