Growing Up In The Shadow Of An Older Sibling

sun03Occasionally I work with someone who I feel is stuck in the shadow of an older sibling. I went through this. It takes one to know one!

I have two sisters who are older than me. The eldest was a bully. She literally beat the hell out of me. My other sister was very popular in school. I was more of a misfit. I stayed out of her way, feeling association with me would harm her voguishness.

The Sun in your chart shows how you shine. If your Sun is exalted (in Aries), it’s not likely you’re going to have this problem. Sometimes the baby of the family is rock star, right? I’m just saying, it’s in the chart more than the birth order.

If you’re (unconsciously) stuck in the shadow of an older sibling, it’s bound to compromise your life.

Are you living in the shadow of your older sibling?

18 thoughts on “Growing Up In The Shadow Of An Older Sibling”

  1. I used to think it would always be that way since I was the youngest and very much in awe of my older siblings. It didn’t help that my bros drilled it into me that I was inferior in every way, ha ha. I believed it because well, they were my brothers. One became an engineer, my sis is so talented and gutsy, running her own advertising company while the other brother is one of the nicest, most likable people you could ever meet. He’s smart and funny with a picture perfect family and not an enemy in the world. I think of them all as very successful and for years thought I would never measure up, mainly because I’ve never really known what my calling is. All the same, I’ve done things they never have, living my own unique life. I’m happy to say I’ve carved out my own space completely different from them and the only place I might be considered under the shadow is in the minds of my siblings. Old habits die hard, especially when they seem to benefit from it.

  2. I hear ya. 8th house Sun me…My older sister shouts the loudest and makes everything a drama to the detriment of others. I was always quiet and there was not much emotional space available. I still in my 40’s find myself telling her albeit via written word to be more thoughtful to her Mother’s health instead of being a demanding child. Which is pointless of course and people go into poor me. I don’t think we’ll ever have a sisterly relationship, we’re very different, she’s very selfish and I have been too selfless, but I’m learning to be a little more self pleasing as opposed to selfish. When my Mom passes I don’t even think I’ll keep up a relationship. It’ll be a relief, harsh no, just honest! x

  3. @Kaz – I’ve considered that too, with my eldest brother. Just keep the peace for now for my parent’s sake.

  4. I’m the oldest sister and have an exalted Aries Sun! Luckily both my younger siblings are Aries Suns too, so they don’t take a back seat to anyone, including me. 😉

  5. I have Libra Sun in fall – I was stuck in the shadow of an older unborn brother for a while. Nowadays I know in one way or another my younger siblings are bound to live in MY shadow somehow.

  6. I have sibling shadows, but inherited.

    My little (step)brother is awesome. Love him to bits.

    My Dad cut him off at 13. When he chose to stay with his mother, instead of living with us.

    Again, for going to war and not calling…

    Again, for talking to our Uncle, who tracked him down, instead of calling Dad…

    Dad is the TagALong to his older brother, said uncle.

    His feud with his ex wife will be inherited by my pending nephew, if Dad doesn’t break this insanity cycle.

    I totally respect my brother’s decision not to talk to my dad. I just hate it. The whole mess.

    Also…that’s why he left her. Because she got pregnant and he had told her not to.

  7. My younger sister has an Aries Sun. She’s the star, for now. I also have had hard Saturn contacts to outgrow. My life, thus far, has been (mostly) about responsibility and burdens.

  8. I am the middle sister, and I have lived in the shadows of both my older Leo sister, and my younger Pisces sister. Not obvious neccessarily in just the Sun Signs, but they both have a LOT of fire in their charts, and I have very little.

  9. ha, my sun is in aries but my older sister’s saturn (and north node) is right on top of it!

    it always feels like she’s squashing my sunshine…

  10. I’m the youngest out of my peer-aged cousins, and I’m feel like the only shadow person in the family.

    I’m the only one in my family who is shy and has struggled with depression for most of my early life, so I’m far behind in social development and was super lost. Whenever I look back, I compare it to almost being like an alcoholic (Neptune) – I lost a chunk of your life, I didn’t know what happened (at the time), and I didn’t even really know what I was doing. I was in my own little world. It was a void for the most part.

    I always feel like I am behind in development in comparison to most people because of this and other reasons. So when my parents gloat about my older/peer-aged cousins, well, 4 of them are Sadge! I was basically isolated, in a void, in a dark cellar, or under a rock for 2 decades. I obviously had/have a lot a lot more hurdles to overcome, but I’ll eventually be where I want to be.

    My cousins used to bully me, but now that they’ve matured, they see my shine and even joke I will outshine them as the next CEO or something, lol. When I went through college, that’s when I began undergoing overcoming self-esteem issues and depression. I began to shine more, so eventually I will shine at full force like I would like to. 🙂 You know, like a Leo!

    I feel like I only started my life when I was 17. Before that, I was just sitting in the dark, occasionally hurt and confused by it, all Neptooned up, lost, and trying to fill the void with something. (but not drugs/promiscuity)

  11. I’m an Aries sun, and my sister is Cap all the way–so much earth (and water) that she has a hard time, very little fire. Additionally, my Saturn is conjunct her Mars–I feel super guilty about this, but she also don’t work it! In the last few years, I”ve thought a lot about how she just folds all the time, but of course, if I critique her, or even try to be encouraging, she can’t bear it. She sometimes doesn’t tell her friends she has an older sister, about which i feel really awful. It’s really our parents’ fault.

  12. @GTO I do for my Mom’s sake but it’s hard a hell. Especially the Pluto/Uranus events. Years of keeping quiet have been introduced to chiron too, demanding attention lol!

  13. Well, I am the eldest and was a bully (I outgrew bullying!) But 13 months younger than me is my Aries brother. One of the reason I outgrew my bullying is my brother. He never backed down and he never gave up. Eventually he also grew much larger than me.

  14. They probably think I have no life and am hopeless. But I don’t care. Actually, I am glad I am on the down side I would hate center of attention. I was a whore at school for being the clown and mean spirited but now that I am a nice open minded weirdo I am pretty much nothing but a glance at people or an intrigue. I’ll leave it at that. If your not needy or poor or desperate I pretty much could care less. I’d just think your selfish and a whore like everyone else. I am not really judging I am just saying what I think. I think the majority of Americans are drunk on themselves and their status. I like to shame people’s ego and it creates a friction but as a uranic individual I am used to it. I love myself too much to care.

  15. One other thing to look at is the conditio of the third house and its ruler. Rahu in the third is a big clue — and typically what will happen is the sense of being “overshadowed” in early home life translates a need to project and be visible in the larger world — to become renowned in some way.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Scroll to Top