Ben has been a close friend of mine for thirty years. He mother died this Christmas. It hit him hard, which didn’t surprise either of us.
Ben is not “okay” with death. It’s been awhile, but I’ve written about this before. I tend to attract people who are fear death or who are at the very least, made uncomfortable by it. I don’t have these feelings and either did Ben’s mother.
Ben wonders how to get to this place. Intellectually, he understands it. His mother spent her life, devoted to service. She had a long life, and friends who appreciated her. She had a good life, by anyone’s standards. He can see this, but he can’t feel it. He can’t accept it.
I am not sure that I can crack this nut for him. Ben is just like his mother. Two high-performing Scorpios, using every minute of life to help other, anyway they can. Why would they differ so much in this regard?
My husband (Moon in Scorpio) is also not at all keen to die or have people around him die. My ex, the AMF (Scorpio), was the same way.
What do you think might cause the variance between people, who see most things in a similar fashion…except this?
About fifteen years ago, Ben’s mother tried to talk to him about her death. He refused! Come to think of it, my perineally boyfriend of 25 years, Scott, also refused to deal with death.
My first husband (five planets in Scorpio), is another man I knew who refused to discuss death, even though though his mother, also Scorpio, made it her business to attend every funeral in a fifty mile radius of her (rural) home. (see Going To Funerals) His mother wanted to discuss her funeral with him – he did the same thing that, Ben did. He flatly refused!
Of course all these people are of have been close to me…someone who studies funeral customs throughout the ages. Cremation And The Death Business.
Sometimes people call me morbid. I don’t really understand it. Death is part of life.
How do you feel about death? If a loved one wanted to discuss their death, would you? Could you? Why or why not?
In my youth I did not deal with death well. This is why the loss of my faith (Pluto transiting over my Neptune) was so incredibly painful. Ironically it took losing my faith and the assumption of eternal life that forced me to look at life’s cold realities. Post Saturn in Scorpio, I am better about it. I have had to endure some difficult moments when it came to the health of both of my parents in the past few years, so if they wanted to talk about these things, I think I would listen and pay attention. Maybe not ever truly “good” with it, but better than I was. I read a lot of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross before Saturn in Scorpio, and one of the things she says is that it’s quite frequent that people “know” when it’s time for them. Leads me to believe that death is karmic and more often than not, is not a mistake.
About a year ago, after a very big birthday, I put my small funds under the umbrella of a Trust. I wrote another Will, made preps for medical directives etc. Wrote a list of instructions of where things were etc. Now I am talking to family members about what they would want from my possessions so it can be added to The List. My daughters are going along with this but a little concerned that I am being morbid, I see it as practical! Grandkids being matter of fact but acting as though I’m going to live for another hundred years anyway. A few years ago I handled the small Estate of a friend who was dying from colon cancer. It was absolutely impossible to get him to address things and it left a horrible mess for us, his friends, to sort out afterwards. I hold medical P of A for another friend and when she went into surgery I had to sit with her, and find out precisely at what point she wanted me to pull the plugs. So, yes, I can talk about it. I have natal Pluto in the 7th and in transit in the 12th. The transit is really making me look at this issue – again. I used to be very sure that our spirit went on. Lately I’m less sure of this!
I’m at peace with the idea of death, and like you, Elsa, I approach this subject through my studies. In particular, I study anthropology and Oriental cultures, and this is a field that allows you to learn a lot about funeral customs and the way death is seen in various cultures. I definitely agree that death is part of Life. But in most societies, it’s also seen as a disruption, a “cultural scandal”. Many cultural variables intertwine in determining the way a certain society handles death.. when confronted with these things, one can’t help but seeing that it’s all relative and that death in itself is a “neutral” event. I have an Uranus-ruled 8th House.
I never really thought about this subject astrologically, so I don’t have any solid ideas about which signs or planetary placements would make someone not be comfortable to talk about death. Personally, I have Pluto in the 8th house, so I’m also one of those people who don’t find it difficult talking about how I want to be buried (or, in my case, not buried), where important papers are, making sure my financial accounts have a list of beneficiaries, etc. But I don’t like to continue talking about it if I find that the people I’m talking to seem to be uncomfortable with the subject. My parents were intensely adverse to discussing death on any level and neither of them left a will and, yes, it was a mess. I don’t have problems with my OWN death, however, I do have trouble imagining that any of my loved ones will die. It depresses me a lot.
Death is difficult to deal with, I feel as if I have a radar with it. I inherited it from my mother and her family and we always get warnings to let us know when folks are going to pass. It is something I think about daily, having lost a lot of people and having strong Pluto influence in my chart. My Ascendant is Aquarius and my Uranus is in my 8th house and my Sun and Pluto are conjuncting Uranus right there crossing from the 7th into the 8th. For those that don’t want to hear about it, I think they fear it most and feel it most. It is never easy to lose someone that you have been close to and it is down right traumatizing in some aspects. I have always said that it is a different experience depending on how a person goes. I was in the room with my mother in law when she passed and it was more peaceful than the last five years of her life. She died from Lupus and other auto immune diseases and she had suffered terribly. I was in the room with some of her siblings and one of her sisters that I am close to was with me on the window seal and the night before she passed, we both saw a tall dark shadow walk in and pass through us to go out the window as smoke. When that happened, I saw my mother in law healthy and happy. She passed the next night. Years ago in Psychology class, I aced the study of Death and have always been fascinated by it. For me, it is not the end but just a transformation, like a caterpillar turning to a butterfly. It is the unknown factor that scares a lot of people and the thought of losing those they love. The hardest part of life is watching those you love leave you and accepting the changes that come with it. I think about my mortality daily and of those that I love. I have even been known to push people away for fear of getting too attached and losing them. I struggle to overcome these things, but it’s difficult.
Thanks, Tonya. That was interesting.
Tonya — You mentioned being able to know when someone is going to pass. I have an uncle who, like me, also has his Pluto in the 8th house and we both can sense when someone is going to pass over. He calls it the Death Mask. He sees it on people and just knows. I can sometimes see the Death Mask on someone but I also sometimes just all of a sudden see someone in my mind and I realize that they’ve passed over. Then the next day, I usually hear that they’ve died. My brother has Neptune in the 8th house and he also has this inner-knowing about someone’s impending death. Not that any of us want this so-called talent, LOL, but we’re kind of stuck with it.
I call mine Death-dar{Death Radar} They come in forms of dreams, knockings, crying spells, birds at windows or getting into my home and other weird things. One entire week in November 2013, I had something happen every night. My dad was with me watching TV and we heard our neighbor knocking and he went to the door and no one was there and I told him that those were death knocks and the next night the TV cut itself off while we were watching it and it had to be unplugged and plugged back in for it to work again and the night after that, the TV made the weirdest ringing noise and we could not get it to stop until it wanted to. The next thing to happen was my husband and I were at a restaurant and they played a Michael Jackson song and I thought about Final Destination and my husband told me that a bird just fluttered at the window behind me and this was around 3AM in the morning! The next event, a light shone in our yard and no one was there. Starting in December 2013, a lot of people we knew passed on, including the neighbor’s mother-the knocks were her knocks- And relatives died, friend’s relatives passed, etc and it went on till around March of 2014. Back in 1998, I had a nightmare that even showed the place where two of my relatives would be buried. My mother has casket nightmares when family are about to pass. Yeah, we are stuck with it. And just recently my light has started blinking off and on at me and we’ve been hearing the unexplainable noises again. Although, a neighbor of my grandparents passed the other day. I am 44 years old and this has happened all of my life. Back in 1987 in the summer, I had a bad dream about my step dad leaving and dying in his car and that November, he died of a heart attack in his uncle’s car at the hospital doors. Disturbing.
Where do you think all these sounds and occurrences are coming from? Is each event about the death of a different person? How do you know its not you who is going to die? Yesterday morning I heard 5 distinct knocks in a pattern in the corner of my bedroom.
I live alone. No one was in my house. I went outside and no one was out there. I’ve been puzzled ever since. I’m certain I heard knocking. Nothing else sounds like clear and distinct knocking.
I’m worried that it might be Death coming after me. I am not ready to go. I have no one to turn to who will care for my pets. My son said he’d take them to the animal shelter if I died. Do you have any ideas?
Hi Jeanne,
First, calm down. When I hear those knocks and can’t find a reason for them, I know to expect a coming death for someone that I know. Have you had things like this happen before to you? These knocks can also signal that a change is about to take place around you.
I always blame it on my Scotch/Irish ancestory because they were famous for knowing when death was coming. I will give you examples of some of the events that happen with me. Before my great grandmother passed away in 1985, a sparrow flew into my grandmother’s house and she told us that someone would die and it was her own mother that passed.
One day in 1997, I saw a Yellowfinch sitting on my window sill staring at me and a few days later a cousin of mine who was blonde, was killed in a car crash. In 2001, around 1.30AM I was in another city at work and another Yellowfinch perched at the window and pecked on the window until I looked at it. I told it thanks for the warning and I know to expect bad news. After this, the mother of my cousin who was killed died from cancer.
Before my grandparents died, a Sparrow [for her] a Cardinal [for him] got into our home. I knew to expect death. The Sparrow seemed to materialise out of thin air too.
These are just a few things with birds, other things include knocks, lights, things falling, dreams, crying spells, electronics acting weird, lights that come on or go off.
In January of 2010, I saw a bright white light in the corner of my room and thought my night light had messed up. I got up to look and my night light was not plugged in! And I heard the loudest two thumps at my back that made me scream! They sounded like a man had taken the flat of his foot and kicked the wall as hard as he could! On Valentine’s Day, one of my husband’s aunts died of a massive heart attack and she was young.
One thing I have learned is this, the closer the person is to me, the more warnings I get.
Don’t panic, just make peace and live your life as best you can and if it was a warning, it can take place from now up to a year.
One of the scariest ones that happened to me, was the summer before my mother in law passed. My husband and I were asleep in the day because he worked night shift and I heard his dad knock and this knock was distinctive. Loud and constant. I wondered why my husband did not hear it. So, I get up to go to the door and nothing was there! I just closed the door and boom boom boom right at my back! I ran and jumped under the covers! My husband heard what sounded like a pie pan banging around the house later that fall and I heard nothing.
Then I saw a woman in white walk into my inlaws home and I saw a red ball of light hovering in their yard. I knew my mother in law was going to pass but I did not know when. She passed on Valentine’s Day in 2001. By the way, the aunt that died on VD in 2010 was the wife of one of her brothers. The poor guy lost a beloved sister and his wife on Valentine’s Day.
If you have never had these kind of things happen before, it could just be trying to prepare you for a change that is coming.
Just don’t panic about it.
My Dad has heavy Scorpio and he refuses to talk about death. He’s very Neptune though, maybe that is why he is in denial that things die. It was horrible when we had geriatric pets. He let them starve to death (they couldnt eat because of various sicknesses) rather than admit it was time to put them down. He wouldnt see what was right in front of him. And he’s said he has no clue what day, or even what month, his mother died in, because he’s wiped it from his mind. He doesnt remember a thing from her death.
My Mom on the other hand has been telling me all my life that I need to pull her plug when its time. She’s always said once she starts drooling its euthanasia. And she says it has to be me. She also told me I’m the executor of her will 🙂 She says my brothers wont be able to handle death but that she knows I’ll be a pro. She doesn’t believe astrology, but clearly she sees (and appreciates!) my packed 8H haha.
I don’t mind the idea of death. I have no problem talking about it. It makes me really sad when it happens because I miss the dead people, but I move on in time. Its good to talk about death. Its good to plan for the future. I rarely think about my own death however. I know it can happen at any time, but I’m only 28, and I’ve never been sick or hurt, so I haven’t been made to think about it. I mainly think about my parent’s deaths. Everyone else I know seems too young to die.
After the death of grandfather in 2005 at a young 65 and shockingly suffering a stroke and then brain hemorage and then my daughter a year later, 6 months of my pregnancy, I’m more accepting of death. It’s a part of life. I’ve seen it on both ends of life so no matter the age it’s inevitable.
Oh and if a loved one talked about death I’ll be talking because it’s life.
I think I tend to be very clinical about it in certain ways. If it’s a pet, it kills me but I do what is necessary. If someone wants to discuss their affairs, I am very practical and I will listen and do accordingly. I know and trust others are with me even after they have passed. I try to honor them by praying for them.
But emotionally….no. I am not ok (obviously I have to be but I am angry, frustrated, sad, and can miss people so that it’s breaking my heart.
I only have Neptune in Scorpio in my third, no eighth house planets. My Pluto is ingrown with Uranus and moon in my first 10° from my AC. That conjunction hits nearly everything in my chart. It just leaves me profoundly in awe and frightened of death.
I’m ok with it. Having had a gun to my head by a stranger, a wave of grace came over me at the door of death. Chemo tried to kill me, Satan and I had a show-down, and death is not a big deal. I miss members of my pod when they pass, and support family and friends every day we walk the earth together.
Get death. Get that it’s part of the whole thing. Use it to put a Stop Sign out there. Time is limited. Balls to the wall while we’re here.
Great subject Elsa.
Death happens. I am never really ready for it. And I hate to sound jaded but the older I get the more dead people I know. It is more acceptable to me that it is the natural course. I don’t talk about it much, I don’t really enjoy talking about it, or talking with people who are obsessed with it because I like to focus on living. There is a short time on the planet and I want to live it. Not live like I am dying.
I don’t mind discussing it with people who are coming to their end of life. I am great at hospice. I’ve heard just about every crazy thing people have to say so not much surprises me. But mostly I like talking about life.
I deal with death well but I suppose that’s because I only have one foot in this world in the first place. The one death I won’t take well will be my Mother’s as she’s the only reason I’m here in the first place. A great wrong was done to us in our last life and the souls involved came back in a group to relive the deed and correct it. As far as I’m concerned I don’t want to live one day after she is gone. Not in a suicidal way but there it is.
Death is meant to happen for all of us, it’s part of the cycle of life. As a traveling notary, I see people “at death’s door” on occasion. This has helped me see the inevitability of dying.I have natal Pluto in the eighth house. To be honest, I’m still nervous about the event happening to me, and my thinking about it today is, why be nervous about returning back to where you came from in the first place?
I’m afraid to die. I am afraid of the unknown, I am afraid of being parted with those I love or care about. As much as I get down and wish I wasn’t here to feel, I do like the physical plane sometimes; I like eating or playing games or experiencing weather and sunsets, going to the beach, watching movies, etc I can’t imagine what it is like on the other side or a different level of existence. I also don’t know how to open my mind wide enough to let this fear go away.
I think I am actually terrified of dying. I think I can handle anyone else dying but my children. I think I would be so overcome with grief, my body would shut down.
8th house Sun, Scorpio Ascendent, Uranus in 1st.
Same… I’m afraid of it but when I was depressed I would have welcomed it.
I’m not really afraid of death and tend to deal with death well. I tend to be fairly detached about it.
When my dad was ill, I talked about his possible death with my mother because there were practicalities involved regarding the bill payment passwords and stuff. My mother has Moon in Scorpio, and I don’t think she’s comfortable at all with death, but she talks about it for practical reasons. When I was born, they took out a life insurance policy on me.
If a loved one wanted to discuss their death, I could. Just because they talk about it, doesn’t mean they’re going to die soon. I have talked about my death with the SO.
Wow there is certainly a hunger to talk about death….
I don’t have this ability to forsee death,as far as I know, but I have in the past year or so been having frequent thoughts of death – my own, those close to me, constant little daytime imaginings, – also waking sometimes to a knocking sound. In my storytelling & movement process lots of stories have come about death, violence, suicide…. This is new for me (Scorpio sun, libra moon in 8th) but I also read it can come with menopause (I am 51). I have been following this blog for a few months now Elsa and feel very engaged by the topics you pick – they seem to be very interesting, relevant, & I like your directness. So good to talk frankly, curiously, openly about so much shadow material (such as anger, loss, negativity, fear). Thank you!
I think developing a sound spirituality helps those who fear death. Developing a perspective perhaps…
I once asked my grandparents if they were afraid to die… they told me no. I think they were looking forward to it (my grandmother had chronic emphysema).
I don’t fear death, rather I fear living a pointless, impactless life. I hope I die old. I look forward to crossing a line where I no longer have to worry about health problems, bills, taxes, how I’m going to survive, etc.. and most of all, pain.
I’ve always wondered if Scorpios (the sign most related to death), fear death because of the ‘unknown’ or because they’re afraid they’ve lived a spiritually empty (or pointless) life.
I would only hope they don’t think like that. I think Scorpios know how to live life to the fullest and urge us all to do so. Life is life, and we write our lives into the universe through cause and effect. No life, I think, is pointless. We all have something to give.
Death has become such a part of life that I just accept it. That doesn’t mean that I don’t feel it when it happens – it’s just that it’s so ingrained in me that I can mourn but still carry on with this life I still have.
I saw my dad died in front of me. My face was just 2 foot away from his. I didn’t see anyone passed by, I saw the time his soul left him from his facial expression. I can’t forget that, keep coming to my mind frequently. I have Scorpio moon opposed by Saturn!!
I have mixed feelings about it. I’m scared for those close to me to die but not afraid of death. I think of it as a transition- I don’t think anything truly dies…and don’t worry about it one way or the other because if we die and become nothing well how am I to know the difference. I also don’t think of heaven and hell as places but more like a mind set or vibration and I believe in reincarnation. I’m not afraid for any of my loved ones souls because I know they are safe, just in another dimension. I also don’t worry for my soul…I haven’t sold it to the devil yet and don’t plan to, so should be good. I’m afraid for those close to me to die because I tend to harbor guilt and I will tear myself apart thinking of all the things I should have done differently. But ultimately I can transcend these feelings- I have Sun and moon in Pisces in the 8th sq. Neptune on my sn.
If you know what to expect then its okay but honestly your friend does not know what to expect perhaps. If he knew by way of near death survivors at least what its like to cross over then he’d have a better perspective on it. But he never dealt with issues like this so he doesn’t want to. What I would recommend is going on youtube like I have and typing in PMH Atwater to find out what happens. I tried talking to some family members of the song I want on my funeral and they always say “don’t think like that” which is weird to me. Thanks family now I don’t know what the hec to think if I do die what song will you play for me to remember me?
I am fascinated by it. And I want to know as much about it as I can learn, I am not afraid of it or afraid to talk about it. I have been with more than one person at their moment of death and its as precious to me as the moment a baby takes its first breath.
I also know that I am closer to death than I ever thought I’d be. I guess I was never sure I would live this long. I am glad I have. I am especially glad I got to hang around and spend time with my g-daughters. So blessed I have had the chance to be here to spend time with my sweet little Scorpio moon. We are good for each other.
I don’t fear passing for myself but I sure do hope I can hang on for my g-daughter. My husband and boys will be okay but she will have a very hard hard time ….just like I did when I lost my g-mother.
I hope I don’t have to go through a lot of torturous pain in death, but I am not afraid to cross over. I only hope that its true….you meet up with loved ones and pets you’ve lost along the way. How awesome would that be….to see people you’ve loved so much and pets you’ve adored! I sure hope all that is true!
I have strict orders for my passing. My children are NOT to see me dead. Period. I will not have a open casket funeral where people gather and cry. I want to be immediately cremated and my ashes thrown in the ocean. Then I want a party for the people I loved…I want them to celebrate LIFE…mine and theirs.
It really is a gift. Even when its so hard you cant put one foot in front of the other. Even when you feel like everyone is against you. Even when its so hard you aren’t sure you can take another day….life is a gift. I am glad I got a chance to be here despite being born to idiots that had zero interest in how I made it. I am glad I have had the chance to experience it all.
I’m not in any hurry to leave, but I don’t fear it. I just worry about the people I love so much…
I don’t care if I get another thing….I just pray I can be here long enough to dance at Scorpio moons wedding and hold her hand when she has her first child. If I can do that …oh… my dream come true.
Soup, a lot of what you said resonated with me. I’m the grateful granddaughter (at 44 years old) of two grandmas, one who is 97 and was like my surrogate mother, because like you, my parents had/have zero interest in me, so my grandma was and still is so important to my life. My other grandma is 99, but I wasn’t as close with her even though I think I’m more like her in her independent nature. She lives fine on her own, happily alone in her own condo, and for some crazy reason (to me!), wants to live forever. My other grandma who is 97, wants to die. I’ll tell you about her because she’s the one I am closer to, emotionally.
My surrogate (grand)mother, the 97 year old one, had a great life (not without struggle of course, being born in 1917 and having her father die when she was 5), has 5 kids, 9 grandkids, 2 great-granddaughters (my nieces), a loving, devoted husband whom she misses tremendously after his death 15 years ago. She’s a very social, caring person (lots of Cancer in her chart) who needs family & friends around her. So now that she’s in a seniors’ home and her family doesn’t visit her often enough, she’s lonely and wants to die. My dad put her on anti-depressants and says she has dementia, but I disagree. She was always against taking pills (she would say depression is a fact for some, but can be overcome with the right attitude and support from friends and family, not pills), and she remembers things that I forget when I speak with her.
She just wants to die and I totally understand. We’ve always talked openly about death, the afterlife, ghosts, god, with no fear. I told her that after she dies, if I hear Glenn Miller played somewhere, I may interpret that as a sign that she’s thinking of me (she gave me her Glenn Miller record when I was 16 after I told her how I loved the music — she was surprised that I liked it, thinking it was so old-fashioned, for someone like me who was into British new wave music at the time). She showed me how to style my hair like women did in the 30s/40s, and I just loved visiting her and chatting about the old days when I was growing up. I had a tough time growing up with my mentally-ill mother, abusive parents, and handicapped sister, and Grandma was my confidante, mother, and therapist, always there for me on the phone or in person, when I needed to talk.
I have no fear of her death because at least that way I’ll be able to communicate with her all the time, or at least I’ll know she’s with me all the time. I’ll feel close to her in a different way when she’s in the spirit world.
She lives across the country from me, and I’m going to visit her after I’m done school this summer. I want to watch old Astaire & Rogers movies with her, because she reminds me of that era, and Fred & Ginger remind me of her and my granddad together — full of life, love, fun, cheekiness, graceful, polite, kind, considerate, elegant style and manners, and always making an effort to look their best. I think she’ll love the old movies from when she was in her 20s, and we’ll have a blast watching them together. Maybe then, the creator will say, ok time to go, take her to the other world, so she can be happy again with her husband. I hope so… but not until we watch “Shall We Dance” together!
I totally undersa
Frankly, I’ve been pissed off about it since I first discovered it in childhood.
Death is a taboo subject in our culture. And it’s hard yo explain to someone how you feel when having lost a loved one, but the presume to know. Three days for bereavement. After that it should be easy to get back to work, right? I hope you know I am being facitious. Anyway, your friends may just have a lot of conditioning from childhood – maybe it scared Ben to see dead folks with his mother if he attended funerals with her and it’s lodged in his subconscious.
I have so many aspects that I have been told, help me deal with death. Ceres in the 8th, Moon/Pluto on my MC, and a 12th house Sun in Scorpio as well as rising sign. I do find it’s true.
I feel comfortable in cemeteries, funeral homes, and sat with my mother after her death, holding her hand. I wish I had been with her earlier. Death to me is a transition, from this life to the ether, but if it’s true energy never dies, I believe we come back, not as we are now but as someone else.
I don’t always read all the comments to your posts, Elsa, but I read every. single. word here.
Bad enough that the subject of death is a deep, often scary, and sometimes taboo one for many, but add to that the daily inundation of reports and visuals of really senseless death and dying, often in brutal and inhumane ways. Still, I know (and I’m sure you all do) that Death is a great attractor of interest because, well hell, it’s the one destiny we all have in common.
It’s not whether it will happen, it’s the how and when that either scares us or intrigues us.
It is my understanding — I have Sun, Mercury, Venus in the 8th; Moon conjunct Pluto; and Pisces rising and I believe in reincarnation — that we are spiritual beings in physical form, so death is the natural transition from the physical plane back to spirit form and as such, should not be feared. (Unless of course, you haven’t finished your work here.) Sounds good, huh? Yeah well, the reality (our reality) is that we become so attached to our physical forms and those we love that any thought of losing them – or leaving them – is painful at best.
Someone said up-thread that the thought of dying isn’t what is scary, rather it is the manner of dying that is worrisome. I agree. Wouldn’t we all like to go peacefully in our sleep! I don’t know about you, but I’ve only known one (my mum) who managed that. Any talk of death with her was a non-starter. I’m going to live to be 100, she’d say. In anticipation of her nearing departure, I encouraged my (younger) sisters to talk with me about their feelings about death – mum’s and theirs. They were not ready for it. The day my mum died, transiting Saturn exactly squared one sister’s Sun and squared the other sister’s progressed Sun. It was in exact trine to my progressed Sun.
I don’t think talking about death is morbid at all. In fact, I think it’s downright healthy because as you said, Elsa, death is a part of Life. Nature reveals that Truth in all her cycles. Evidence of transformation is everywhere.
I can always feel it coming. I feel restless and my dreams are so lucid and vivid, sending me messages that something is about to happen. I have AS in Scorpio, Saturn and Mars 12th House in Scorpio, Mercury, Sun and Venus in 8th House. Death can’t escape and I’m aware I won’t be able to escape it also when my last moment here comes. I can talk about without fear, because I’m not afraid of dying but I did noticed I’m scaring the shit out of other people when I talk about Death. I can see how uncomfortable they feel, they become restless, frightened and they say I’m not normal. Wierd, because Death is so normal and eventually part of every living life on this Planet. But I do understand people are afraid of it. I think I inherited this gift from my grandad who was very intense and he once said a great thing just two-three months before he dided: ” Death. She is here. She came for me. Before I could smell it, now I can touch it. “