How Many Soulmates Does A Person Have?

my cousin vinnyLast night my husband and I watched My Cousin Vinny. We were struck at how similar we were to Vinny and his fiance, Mona Lisa Vito. They had great chemistry. Watching them, they could possibly be better matched.  Appearances are irrelevant in this movie.  These souls belong together.

My husband believes there is one soul (and only one soul) for every other soul. It’s not a concept most people want to embrace, but I’m not sure he’s wrong.  Watching this movie, and seeing these two characters interact, makes me question my entire relationship history.

Now I can’t say I have had a bad time with men. I have had a very good time with men, in general, with a few exceptions.  I’ve had a ton of fun, but when I look back at my interactions, I can’t say that I was actually meant to be with anyone other than my husband.

I wouldn’t say the other relationships I have had were fake or false.  They have just not allowed me to be completely free.

I really question if there is anyone on this planet, other than my husband, who could and would and would want to put up with me for a lifetime, and I think this is true in reverse as well.  What do you think?

Is there one soul for every soul?

37 thoughts on “How Many Soulmates Does A Person Have?”

  1. It’s a beautiful concept! I haven’t met mine yet so I can’t say that I have experience in that but I wholeheartedly believe it is possible.

    Is the soul always going to be manifested as a lover or could it be between friends and/or family members?

  2. That’s how it’s looking for me. I have fallen hard for several men, but scratch beneath the surface and neither of us was very committed to the other. Meanwhile, the man who was committed to me (and I to him) has been my creative collaborator for years! We are two people who need lots of space in order to feel loved, but this doesn’t mean we are incapable of commitment, it just looks different on the outside.

    I am realizing, I get a kick out of charming men. They are so damn entertaining. But I am also realizing that that’s all it was.. being ‘charmed’ you’re under their spell and then when it wears off, are you better off?

  3. The way I have learned this, it is more complex, and more specific. Specifically every marriage is fated. Good ones, bad ones, ones that don’t last, it’s all meant to be.

    So if you have a marriage that does not last, not just via divorce but by death — well, this used to happen a lot more often than it does as you can imagine. This was fated and appointed. As are very bad relationships or encounters with serious enemies.

    There are approximately 150 people who you will do life with on earth in one incarnation. You typically know *these* people right away if they are not in your family — although there can be a person in your family who is simply not emotionally attuned with you or your life themes and will not be a big player.

    This doesn’t mean the one great relationship/marriage isn’t special or fated or real. It just means that you had an appointment to experience that relationship in this lifetime. Some people don’t get that chance; they get other stuff to do — other comforts, other lessons.

  4. I have to agree.

    My husband and I are celebrating 20 years of marriage next month. He is the only one who has been capable of continuously interacting with me. Others cannot keep up. It’s not the only reason of course, but I knew from the beginning that we were meant to stay together in this lifetime.

    I’ll have to watch that film.

  5. Enjoy topics like this; inherent philosophical bent with these questions. Been mulling this over probably since 14. I also can’t discount the concept entirely and I’m currently with someone who, without a single doubt, stands his ground that there is no other for him but me. It is a fantastic concept.

  6. Alas, I’ll be the downer here and say that I don’t believe that there’s only one soul for every soul (am assuming that this refers to romantic relationships only). People and circumstances change and what works at one point in one’s life may not fare so well in another. In addition, I think there are multiple people with whom one can be happy, if one is willing or able to go about being in a relationship.

  7. I can relate to this. I like your husband’s take. My fiance jokes how he had to wait a long time for me to get my act together. I have few regrets in my relationship history.

    He’s it for me. He sees me for who I am, loves me completely. I feel the same for him. Even all the years I knew him and was with someone else, I could *feel* him. It’s hard to explain.

  8. There’s more than one person.

    Whomever makes you Grow – That’s your soul-mate.

    Even “bad” people who do “bad” deeds could be your soul-mates. Many times these “bad things” make us change bad behaviour patterns.

    So far this is the theory that has made the most sense to me.

  9. It is a beautiful concept.. and if you asked me the same question 6 months ago, I would have said yes. Now, I don’t believe in it anymore.. the most I have learned to accept is that we are our own soulmates, and I have learned to give myself the things I need to be happy and survive in this world. I’ve given up on the concept of waiting on my other half or the one other person on this planet who was created for me… that theory is officially out the window.

  10. Kashmiri said “Even all the years I knew him and was with someone else, I could *feel* him. It’s hard to explain.”

    I know how that feels. That’s really something, huh? 🙂 Happy for you two 🙂

  11. I think I already met him, and he chose not to stay and fight for our relationship. Maybe he was right, the in-laws might have been against me from the beginning because of the circumstances in which we were together.

    But I miss him every day.

  12. I think like Rhino does. It’s not popular (I don’t think it feeeeeeels good enough to be popular) but I think it’s true. *nods*

  13. Love that movie, and yes because of that very interaction between both of those great characters.

    I hope either is true, just that I meet her one day. I feel there is probably one out there for me, but I think there may be many candidates. Whoever it is, as long as she wants to be with me even with whatever quirks I may have.

  14. i’d say there’s at least one. i’m not sure there’s only one.
    i have met several people who i have felt that way with, but we were not adult enough to do what we needed to make it work. or the sacrifices would have been too much for one or the other.

    my spouse and i met each other at points in our lives where we’d individually decided we were willing to feed a relationship what it needed to sustain a life together, in addition to being able to be myself….

    but i think i’d have to watch that movie before i could really come to any conclusion. and i don’t think i can. that kind of chemistry is so unique, from pair to pair.

    and maybe for some people there is only one. i’m worried about people giving up if they can’t get a _particular_ relationship to work, though.
    i’d definitely agree there is at least one….

  15. Yes, I believe there is one soul for every soul. And I already had him and lost him.

    I’ve spent most of my adulthood in a series of LTR, and been crazy in love and had men crazy in love with me. So I had always believed that there are multiple people that you can make it work and be happy with.

    Then … I met him. And I finally understood people who say they knew when they met “the one.” I’d never felt that before, but it was unmistakable.

    And since I was in my late 30s, I had enough relationship experience to tell the difference.

    He’s not someone I would’ve picked out of a lineup, our connection was based on something way deeper than age, occupation, education and all those superficial things. It’s a really unique and unmistakable experience when you meet “the one.”

    But he’s gone now, and even if I get myself together and eventually have another relationship, I will not have that experience again.

  16. I’d like to think there is at least one. I have no idea though. If it’s true I don’t think I’ve met this person.

  17. Avatar

    I believe this but sometimes life tears them in part. Going through this now. I am now accepting the fact that every other relationship will be a replacement. They will be fun I will love them but no one will replace him ever. The chemistry relationship everything was too fated too intense to not be my soul mate.

  18. Is there one soul for every soul? Depends on if you believe in Reincarnation. I personally do so yes I believe that there is a kindred mate for each person. However we may not connect with that person. Anything can happen to them or they may even be your same sex and neither of you are turned that way so you become best friends. I am fortunate in this life time I have finally connected with my kindred mate what a blessing that is. We have been together through many life times although I have not ever been through a regression I just feel it. I knew it the first day I met him. It took me 2 other marriages to find my kindred mate he too was married before and we both had children with others but not each other. Doesn’t matter even our children are freaked out by how well we are mated. I love his children as if they were my own and my children call him dad.

  19. I think this whole soulmate concept is very dangerous and the cause of a lot of emotional suffering. Although I felt that my past relationships were doomed because I felt controlled & constricted in them , that is very different from saying that there’s one and ONLY one relationship that could work out.

    Someone did a study that proved that if a person dated intensely they would find out that 1 out of every 89 people they met would be a good match for them. The trouble is that some people get too discouraged to keep on looking.

  20. I would have to agree with Oh Dear that there is more than one person meant for us. I felt that I had a soul mate once in my life and I miss him terribly! He could read me like a book and I felt as though we had a serious psychic connection even before I got into astrology. Would love to see our charts combined now but unfortunately he is gone from this world due to the abuse of drugs and alcohol one fateful night.

  21. I am looking forward to meeting my next soul mate though if I ever find him or if he finds me!! I sincerely hope that this happens again in my life as I am a libra and extremely lonely however I have been praying and have left it in the hands of my higher power!!

  22. I need to apologize for my earlier comment on this one too. It was flip, thoughtless, and unwarranted.

    I’m going to have to watch myself on whatever this thing is that is showing its ugly head.

  23. I think some of us were meant to be alone. As a Libra it’s hard to say this. But if I haven’t found my soulmate after 35 years….he might not be out there. 🙁

  24. I’ve had many loves, & amongst those there was ONE that got me in a way no one else ever did, or has since. We had 3 happy happy yrs, & I am stronger, wiser, more mature, & happier because of him. Although he is no longer a physical part of this world, that man is always with me.

    But it’s been nearly 7 yrs since, & I want THAT again…. don’t mean to be greedy, but once a standard had been set, it’s hard to settle for less.

    So, my Libra AC prays that I’m blessed again.

    Yes, I believe there is truth in the concept. I think it’s also rare, because too often people are in too big a hurry to alleviate the discomfort of being alone.

    I know me, I like me, & I can enjoy being alone with me {now that my mourning process has been complete}, so either way, I’ll be Just Fine 😉

  25. I have thought about this a lot. Sounds like for you Elsa this is true. Do you think perhaps its different for each of us? As in maybe its your karma in this life to meet “the One?

    I did meet mine… it was very fated … was told he was my twin flame. I didnt understand it at the time but I do now. Have also understood there are many soul mates who are part of a soul group who incarnate together over many lifetimes… and those relationships are very powerful. Then there are karma mates which are when we are working out stuff. They all have value.

    I cannot be with my twin flame (due a very complicated scenario) Meeting him was the most profound intense and beautiful thing. By loving him and then having to let him go I discovered the meaning of unconditional love.

    Now I am with someone new and I have to be careful not to compare them. This person is perfect for me right now. That’s all I know.

    If you cant be with the one you love, love the one your with!

  26. “Do you think perhaps its different for each of us?”

    @Raven, I really don’t know. This is my husband’s belief. He does think it is true for all (with exceptions made for priests and the like). It’s pretty hard to prove either way.

  27. i think there’s probably just one person/primary partner for me, this life.
    but that that’s a combination of personality and the way maturation and life events unroll.
    i imagine i may run into those other people some other time around the wheel, again. and things may unfold differently

  28. I used to think that way, but now I’m open to the idea that there can be more than one soul for every soul. Maybe in 20 or 30 years, I’ll come back around to my old belief.

  29. I have a broader definition of soulmates. For me, a soul mate can be a platonic relationship. It is a deep connection in which there is an immediate and strong intimacy. Soulmates get each other. Yet I also think that I was destined to marry my husband. I think that we have a karmic connection. We need each other to travel our paths in this life. I am also married to a taurus. He knew immediately that he was going to marry me.

  30. Scorpioandproud

    I agree with your husband. I may not have 25 years ago but I do today.

    When I met my husband I took one look at him and something struck me. I can’t even really explain it. I was drawn to him. I didn’t know why.

    I was in a very bad marriage. I worked with my (now) husband and had nothing in the romance dept for him but sure did notice him and made it a point to find out more about him. He is 11 years younger than me and it never occured to me to look at him in a romantic way but I was still drawn to make conversation and notice all his actions. I really watched him.

    Within two months we were drawn to each other and he was in my face wanting all kinds of things …and of course this was never going to happen on my end. I was going through a divorce and had two small children and I looked at it like…I don’t need another child.

    Several years passed and we always stayed in contact along the way. Not often but still always knew where the other one was. It was as if he had to mature….really grow into a man before we were to spend any kind of time together again. And…then for no good reason that I remember we started talking again. He was going through a bad marriage and me ….yikes….another one 🙁

    He wanted a relationship because he felt I should realize he was a grown up finally….and I refused to be with a married man. So, he walked out and established a new life….later I did the same but I was not interested in jumping into another marriage.

    And then….he issued an ultimatium…and when I refused he used the Aqua in his chart to walk away…but what Scorpio really gives two shits about that….you can’t issue an ultimatum to a Scorpio….good god…everyone knows this.

    Three months later he called. I didn’t date, I didn’t wait, I didn’t do anything but work and raise my kid while he was gone…when he finally called I said…come to stay or stay away….we were married 2 months later and have been together ever since.

    The point in telling all this is… we were fated to be together but he re-entered a little late and was too young for me to consider it. It took 9 years of growth on his part to be able to come back and say…I waited, I grew up, I am here and I know I am supposed to be here. Very strange but very true.

    In the meantime I was going through that Pluto NIGHTMARE…that took me to my knees. Growth on my part too….he aged enough and I grew inside enough so that when it was time BOOM.

    When I think about the last 16 years with this man I can’t believe I ever thought another man could ever have been the right one. I had fun with them too…I had misery as well…but most of all I look at all of it as lessons that I had to learn for this to work.

    I feel like I have known him for a million years. He is a part of me. I am a part of him. I am not being mooshy or gushy or a hopeless romantic because there are days I could slap the shit out of him for some of his Pisces nonsense….but god I love this man. He is my friend, my life…he is my ‘people’ and it was meant to be.

    No one else would put up with either of us. We are strange in the right way for each other.

    There is no one that could have told me he would be my husband in the future and made me believe it back then…but now when I look back I see how it had to unfold to be what it is today.

    We celebrate 14 years of marriage this month. We will celebrate 16 years together in April and we celebrate 25 years of knowing that this is true and right. I suppose I will love him forever and when this life is over I plan to meet him in the next for another go around.

  31. 🙂 my darling said the other day he would change me for no one, and loves me the way i am. so i took it under some consideration, and yes, it does feel true, i am myself with him, free, just being me. no acting and manipulating… it is just liberating. and i can feel him too. that’s it for me. and i told him so. just ‘this is it’, i have to look no further. it is just sooo simple…and people make everything complicated. my mother used to say to me: “if it’s so hard and complicated to just be, it probably is not ment to be. when it happens, it just flows, you’ll see.” but i do agree with what someone said, that even bad people can make you grow out of bad patterns. if you think and do the work. (saturn) and the good ones can heal you without trying. (pluto) but i don’t know really if there is a one soul mate for all. it’s someting we will never be able to prove… but when they come, you can ‘feel’ them, that’s for sure. it just feels good to be around and you think, oh look how this clicks, i don’t want you to go away. stay. 😉

  32. For a long time, growing up, I thought there was no such a thing as soulmates, you know, the sort where you meet, you both know, and you are meant to spend your lives together. I thought it was just a romantic idea to motivate people or keep them married. I always wondered about tragic stories or what happened if people married someone that isn’t their soulmate by accident? Do you get a free pass? Or is your soulmate the one you are tied with no matter what, even if you love someone else more?

    But since then I’ve reconsidered it. And I believe there is more than one possible – your best friend or someone you marry or someone who changes your life forever are all there. So which one is the soul mate?

    Two situations make me wonder, though:

    What if a person isn’t meant to have a soul mate, but they don’t know? I mean, can you imagine if someone failed to hear the call to their vocation, and they spent their life looking for a soulmate thinking they have one, when there is none for them?

    And what about people who find their match one day, but their soulmate doesn’t recognize what they are together due to stupidity, lack of faith, fear, excuses, or whatever, and they separate forever? What do we call that? Lost soul mates?

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