The idea a woman is better off without a man seems to me to have peaked in our society. Women are realizing they do want a man. They’re having all kinds of trouble figuring out how to manage this between the other things they have to do and the fact that a large number of men have little or no interest in marriage.
I think the pendulum is going to swing back now. People will realize it’s in the best interest of both sexes to get along.
I specialize in seeing trends ahead of others and getting people in on the ground floor. I have been going on about this for several years now and I am back again to stress this: Start thinking about what it is reasonable to expect of a partner and how you, yourself can offer value to another because like it or not it is men and women working together that sustains a society.
In fact, two years ago, I was fretting and feeling anxious about something – being supportive – but I also had one of those moments in which I realized I was really a good support for someone – I had one of those, “I’m doing it! Yay!!” moments. 🙂
I don’t know. I’m not going to say that all Older male/Younger woman relationships happen because the guy is an ass. But for the most part, guys who go “hunting” for them, rather than just happening to fall in love with them usually have issues.
It takes a ‘real man’ – a self-confident man comfortable in his own maleness – to want a woman who is his equal.
That’s imo why so many men go for younger women, the obvious reasons apart (ie good body, no wrinkles, ego-boost in front of other men etc). Many men are lost and far from self-confident: we – they – have lost sight of their own purpose, since ‘women’s lib’.
Obviously as an educted woman I support ‘women’s lib’ and I’m grateful I benefited – but there’s no doubt there has been a downside, in pushing so many men onto the defensive
@ Blessed Place “It takes a ‘real man’ – a self-confident man comfortable in his own maleness – to want a woman who is his equal.”–I couldn’t have put it better. And, in order to reinforce my intention: this is exactly my kind of guy. Gotta be an Alpha like me;)
I am separating from my partner right now and I know for sure: No ‘boys’ any more (although they can be cute for awhile.)
And it is pretty obvious to me that I won’t waste time on silly mind games, like I used to when I was in my Twenties. Bottom line: A) know thyself. B) know what you want.
Btw, any man who still is defensive/confused due to the women’s lib paradigm back in the Seventies is not anyone I would want in my bed anyway:)
I don’t think women’s lib messed up too much for us. It was necessary to tip things in the right direction, but women nowadays have evolved since then, meaning: We know we have to utilize our female qualities and then some. Go in, wear high heels, confuse them–and then, surprise with your brains. And we still have lots of work to do, considering the wage gap between men and women in some professions, for example. Not easy when you are about to balance your own personal issues on top of this, but I think it is doable.
There’s a koan in our society that we’re not supposed to go into relationships expecting the other person to change. And for a long time I confused that with “you’re not supposed to spell out your expectations nor discuss your trigger spots.” Well, I did that today for the first time, and if I am ever with another partner it will be the first thing discussed after, “Do you want to be my girlfriend?” Not romantic? Neither is acrimony and divorce!
I want to be a person who is marriageable and I want a marriageable person to get married to… damn it. And I want us to see each other as equals, and yet I want him to be a man and me be the woman. Separate but equal, minus the associated negative semantics of that phrase.
Saturn is teaching me to run a relationship like a business. You go in with a charter, you negotiate, you have regular meetings to check in on the process of projects, and you schedule rewards into it. I even outlined the 20 year-plan to my SO. It’s like marketing, and I credit Elsa for having said some things about “how do you market yourself to others” which got me thinking about discussing relationships that way. And I will (humbly) train my partner in the things he needs help with in relating, and in turn I will ask him to train me.
Next week when I see him I’m gonna lighten it up and ask him to do some typically “manly” things to reinforce that he is important to me as a man, not just a “partner”. I think I’m getting it now!
Anyone read the book “You Lost Him At Hello” by Jess McCann?
Basically she draws on her sales experience to teach women how to approach dating the same way you do business deals. You have to learn SKILLS, like knowing your product, reading his “buying signs”, negotiating, etc.
Would that be a Saturn in Libra way of approaching the world of dating? Or should each woman use what works for HER?
If he’s got a password on his phone and you know he changed it, then that’s why he’s got it.