Lecture #2 How Making A List Of What You Want In A Partner Hurts Your Odds Of Finding Love

Lecture #2 How Making A List Of What You Want In A Partner Hurts Your Odds Of Finding Love

Do you have a list of what you’re looking for in a partner?  Should you update it?

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7 thoughts on “Lecture #2 How Making A List Of What You Want In A Partner Hurts Your Odds Of Finding Love”

  1. I love your insights <3

    OH! and OT… did you hear the 'pandemic" will be over on May 11….according to the 'white house' hmmmm curious what energies are happening May 11… <3

  2. Love the love story!

    I never made a list and thought I had a type- but I dated all kinds and learned you really can’t tell a book by it’s cover.

  3. I did. I actually had a long list…
    It was based on the experience I had from other (more or less) bad relationships. And it was also based on one year og heavy-dating with a LOT of first dates with guys.

    Because in 2017 I realized I needed to actually LIKE men. The three previous relationships had soured me to men, if my drunken, choleric dad hadn’t already started that….

    So, I set out to date A LOT of many different men. Therefore the focus on my list was actually to find someone that *I* liked, not the other way around. Someone that I would feel safe with, someone who I could build something with. Not someone who made me feel better about myself because I lacked self worth, or would *need* because of the way they made me feel.
    I had been in therapy for several years, and when I started dating my current BF (who actually HAD a lot of the things I found worked well with how my own brain functioned and my values etc) I was already working with a therapist on improving my own life,on improving myself and my own worth, learning the subtle art of speaking *feelings* 😉
    Thus,I had the best ally on my side while trying not to rush things.

    Even if we now know that we have ADHD and that this aspect have influenced the relationship in a lot of positive and negative ways, the basics are still present: We see very much eye to eye on important things.

    And yes – having a partner with the same diagnosis as oneself makes things SO hard to deal with sometimes ( after all, it’s like being witness to and living side by side with your own idiocy some days….)

    But all in all, I felt that my list was a good thing, because previously I had just jumped into things without thinking about who they really were as a person and how that would affect my own life – cortesey of my undiagnosed ADHD.

    (I know it’s not precisely these kind of situations or type of lists this post is about, but I wanted to share my own experience to add some nuance to the whole thing 🙂 )

  4. Interesting, my first husband was 5 ft 4.. I thought it would level the playing field. He turned out to be a narcissist abuser. So after the divorce I looked for tall guys. I ended up with my late husband. He was 5 ft 11. A big guy a major Alpha but with a gentle spirit. I know God sent him to me because I asked God to send me someone because I sure didn’t know how to pick them. Two months later we were dating. I definitely wasn’t attracted at first but I decided to give him a chance. {He was an Aries so he would not have given up anyway}

  5. This is so good…. I even giggled… the dude won’t feel the same way holding a baby as you do LOL

  6. Avatar
    Miguel Melchizedek

    I laughed so hard, ✨Grateful 🕊✨ for this, you’re one of a good kind!

    By the way, I’m 6ft2 and my first GF was shortie maybe 5ft5 — but she walked faster than me in high heels and I can 🚶🏼walk👣 fast in my long legs!

    Relationships are really a meeting of the 🕊✨Souls✨🕊, not a meat eating like it seems for many. When they start creating lists it means their 🍓Heart is not working and they’re lost. And the killer is that wanton thing of the 💰💵money🤑, that for me does it, and they’re just begging to be robbed or attract a guy that somehow ends up making her lose 💰💵money🤑/properties etc., this I know real case.

    It is not material so ST⛔️P making lists 🤣

    It is SPIRITual but Astrology plays a huge role because many times the 🕊✨Souls✨🕊 are right but the personalities (read Astro program) are not and it won’t happen. So learn Astrology.

    Opposites don’t attract, it’s the opposite of that, commonalities attract.


    At the end of the day the faces will have to match. I found out that the craneal structure, size of mouth, angle of the eyes, expressions etc. must be quite similar. All this corresponds to the Astro chart. People instinctively know it’s the right person from this, unconsciously they know. And this match will become a long long term relationship, likely for life.

    Opalina, be ✨Grateful 🕊✨ you loved it with you late Hb. But do you need to decide you want to move on? ⛓Attachment🔗

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