Dear Elsa,
I am going through the first serious sex drought of my life. I just don’t get it – in both senses of the phrase, if you get my meaning!
I am in the best relationship of my life and happily married, although my life is more conventional and settled than it has ever been to date. I am married to an Aquarian. He is very kind and we get on well on so many levels. It’s not that it’s bad when we do make love – I usually have a great time and he’s considerate. It’s just that I don’t feel desire in between.
I have never been like this before. I have put on lots of weight since we got together 5 years ago and given up socializing, getting dressed up and drinking. Surely I don’t need all that superficial stuff to feel sexy?! Help!!
Sex Drive MIA
Dear Sex Drive,
I have to disagree with you. Considering you are a Double Leo with Venus in Leo, I think your appearance is actually acutely important to you. And if you doubt that, then just ask yourself why you mentioned it in a post about sex?
Now it sounds like you used to be Queen and further, this is your natural state! And since you no longer dress, take care of yourself or hold court (socialize), I would have to say you are depressed – if not in a clinical sense, then in a sense sense. You know. Where’s your shine, babe? You need to get it back. Now here’s the astrology, which is brilliantly clear by the way:
Saturn is in Leo… transiting conjunct your Sun, Moon and Venus. That’s a hard core transit and I’ll tell you something else.
You have Saturn (suppress) square your Mars (sex drive) in your natal chart and the transit of Saturn has brought this out to live, big time. And I can tell you right now, if you don’t work at this… well it’s going to get worse and worse and worse and lead you right into depression. However, do not despair!
Because as soon as you commit (Saturn) to action (Mars), you will see immediate relief. And the more you “act”, regardless of how difficult it is, the more relief you’ll see. And if you really kick ass, guess what?
End of this Saturn transit: you, your ego, your vanity, your love, and your emotional life will be in the best shape it’s seen in almost 30 years!
So here’s my advice. Get on top the weight gain and for godsakes go shopping. You need to look good (Leo) if you want to feel good (Moon), be vitally alive (Sun) and love well (Venus).
Good luck.
This is excellent advice and those things are not superficial, especially for a Leo, as Elsa said. I’m only a Leo Sun/Mercury (meaning I don’t have as much Leo as you) yet, believe me, when I lose track of my appearance, that’s when I begin to feel depressed and my sex life goes kaput. Sweetheart, why do you think Venus is the planet of love AND beauty? You’re not giving tribute to your inner love goddess.
*grins* Kick ass advice. And for the Leo – you go girl! May I suggest a fun new hair-cut while you’re at it? It’s amazing the boost that can give.
and don’t wait till you hit goals to start thinking you look good. that first new skirt or haircut are enough. start shining right away. I bet you will.
Indeed!!
Oh! I know, you could chart a plan for weightloss, new clothes, hair-restyle, new makeup, fake tan etc. Then, when you reach your goal have ‘glamour’ portraits taken and blow them up HUGE and have a party so that everyone can see how hot you look in your new lingerie. Ahahaha! That would be GREAT…
Hello Elsa!
I am the woman who asked this question. I am sorry I didn’t thank you earlier for your help. I LOVE your reply 🙂
I kind of always thought I was a “bit” vain but I think you are correct – I care more than I let on. I just didn’t want to seem too vain, you know?
I have taken your advice.I have kitted myself out with a few new things while I make the transition to slim girl again. I am also acting “as if” in bed and out of it. It’s really srarting to work!
My husband is pleased, needless to say. He’s a sweetheart and hasn’t said one word about my shopping. Well, he has but only to compliment me – he never grumbles about the cash.
I realise how kind and generous he is and I love him even more for that. I’d hate a mean man.
It’s so helpful to read about transitions – just knowing this will pass makes me feel so much better about the whole thing.
Thank you Elsa and everyone else who commented – I really enjoyed reading what you had to say.
Thanks, Guys!
X
Keep it up, lady!