“You never heard of a comedy team that didn’t fight, did you?” –Bud Abbott
Synastry is evaluating how the energy of the other affects you and how your energy affects the other. You take the sum total of that, squint at it a bit, shake it up in a bag and decide if there’s enough good to outweigh the bad. If you look at it more closely it’s tough to realize what IS good and what is bad. Easy is not necessarily good. Difficult is not necessarily bad. The interaspect (aspect between planets in two charts) of Mars square Saturn is one of those that seems obviously difficult. It is, but that doesn’t make it a deal breaker.
My man and I have several squares in our synastry. His Saturn squares my Mars. I could go on and on (and I do) but I’ll let astrology speak to what this means for us. I find him judgmental of how I act. I suspect he’s judging me and act out or blow up. I’ll act how I want! Nobody but me is going to control (Saturn) how I act (Mars)! Notice the exclamation points: that’s the square at work on a personal planet. My third house Mars uses punctuation. “Auugh, going to bludgeon you to death with this asterisk!”
The Saturn person restricting the Mars person is pretty straightforward. What is not so obvious is that aspects in synastry can also manifest reciprocally. In total expression, it’s not just him with the Saturn and me with the Mars. At times we each irritate the bug-fuck out of the other. Whenever this happens the other moves to suppress or control.
Is this bad? Maybe. It might seem bad, or feel bad. But for us I don’t think it’s destructive. We both maintain a pleasant veneer. We both have a general tendency to brush things off that are probably better addressed. Our frequent blowups at each other make us appear volatile as a couple, and we are. But we stay together because this aspect forces us to clear the air on important issues, though neither of us is inherently programmed to do so. In the end we work things out even though it’s not how either of us as individuals would handle things. I call that growth.
Do you have Saturn contacts in synastry? How do they affect the relationship?
I tend to find people with hard Saturn contacts to at least one of my personal planets, yeah, but I’m teasing out the manifestations.
In other news:
Asterisks are good for throwing. For bludgeoning, I’d choose an interrobang. 😉
more leverage… RIGHT! thanks for the tip!
Yes. I have Sun conj. Mars with a friend of mine in my 12th and his fifth. I am madly in love with him and he put the breaks on in the bedroom! But we can tell each other anything and it stays the the bedroom so to speak. But he does love to tell me what to do with my life. I don’t mind because I love him! : )
my husband’s sun saturn neptune is on my sun south node mc.
my saturn is opposite his venus bml and my juno conjuncts his venus bml.
I don’t know what it meeeaaaans though. 😀
Satori I think you and I share a love affair with quotations.
You may enjoy this blog:
http://www.futilitycloset.com/
and remember “No good fish goes anywhere without a porpoise.” – Lewis Carrol
My Saturn is directly on my son’s ASC. I have always felt like a single mother and I, and not his father, provide the structure. But we’re very close, and share the same sense of humor. He thinks I nag and repeat myself 🙂
My third house Mars uses punctuation. “Auugh, going to bludgeon you to death with this asterisk!”
Hahahaha! Perfect!
I always felt restricted and oppressed by my friend, but the synastry is his Saturn conjunct my Pluto trine my Moon/Mercury. His Uranus is conjunct my Saturn on the Midheaven. I don’t know, I felt so robbed in my communication by him, must be the control stuff in our Plutonian Cardinal Grand Cross. Then again, his Mercury/Venus was conjunct my Mars so damn if we didn’t argue a metric fuckton.
Sun square Saturn: his all Cap/Virgo butt dampens my nearly all Libra/Sag spark. It’s the very thing that attracted him to me but drives him mad!
Errr yup and no idea what to think of it just yet. Until this post I hadnt really noticed this one a “friend” of mine’s Saturn(in Aquarius) sits on my POF and squares my Mars (taurus)
Hmmm…
His Saturn (Gemini/H6) squares my Mars (Pisces/H2). I act spontaneously and sometimes a little too irrationally to him I think. He reminds me of life’s realities which is not always pleasant but necessary. I think I have also matured and am better equiped to handle this square now because I can assert myself without all the “fear of not being loved” I would have had in the past. It’s take it (me) or leave it! I’m not all that worried about this aspect, also we have some very good others that balance it out!
Satori, I was wondering is there a same conflict with Saturn opposite Mars? or maybe it shows in a different way.
hahaha! My third house Venus loves people to death with smileys 🙂
My husband & I have plenty of Saturn aspects in our synastry. His Saturn is conj my Moon, my Saturn sq his Mars, my Saturn trine his Sun among others. We can take turns with the “suppress & control” thing but generally not a problem. Been together comfortably for 20 years.
Had a big disagreement w/another astrologer I was working with about the interpretation of Mars sq Saturn in synastry. She wanted to say this one always meant the possibility of physical abuse and I said “Bull Sh*T”. Different people, different responses to the same aspect. Besides, I am constitutionally oppose to putting that kind of vibe out there in any case . . . 🙂
New man I’m seeing has Saturn in Virgo tightly conjunct my 10th house Virgo Sun. I don’t know if this is necessarily difficult. Maybe too much Virgo in a relationship creates nit-picking. But if I was more comfortable with him I’d call him Daddy! (8D
I fell for him when I read his writing. He represents a lot of what I aspire to – like we share a vocation but he’s mentor to my apprentice.
I’m not sure what he thinks/feels about me outside of physical attraction. There’s a wall there right now.
Yes, my husband and I have
My Mars quincunx his Saturn.
My Saturn trine his Mars
His Saturn quincunx my mars
His Mars trine my Saturn
He used to be very judgmental of me. He would blow up over the slightest things, like the cap being off the toothpaste. I was afraid to express myself to him for fear of yelled at. Things are different now,but I believe that Mars/Saturn and/or Saturn/Mars may be what caused this behavior.
This is me to my husband……..
Sun (Lib 29°28′) – Sat (Ari 01°39′): inconjunction (150°00′) orb: 2°11′
———————–
Moo (Leo 14°11′) – Sat (Ari 01°39′): sesquisquare (135°00′) orb: 2°28′
————————–
Mer (Sco 04°32′) – Sat (Ari 01°39′): inconjunction (150°00′) orb: 2°53′
————————–
Ven (Sag 07°36′) – Sat (Ari 01°39′): trine (120°00′) orb: 5°57
————————
Mar (Sco 02°07′) – Sat (Ari 01°39′): inconjunction (150°00′) orb: 0°28′
—————————–
Sat (Can 22°20′) – Sun (Pis 13°45′): trine (120°00′) orb: 8°35′
——————–
Sat (Can 22°20′) – Moo (Can 15°44′): conjunction (0°00′) orb: 6°35′
—————————-
Sat (Can 22°20′) – Ven (Ari 00°17′): trine (120°00′) orb: 7°57′
————————–
Sat (Can 22°20′) – Mar (Sco 17°46′): trine (120°00′) orb: 4°33′
—————————-
Sat (Can 22°20′) – NNd (Pis 05°57′): sesquisquare (135°00′) orb: 1°23′
———————————–
Sat (Can 22°20′) – Chi (Pis 08°48′): sesquisquare (135°00′) orb: 1°28′
From him to me………..
Sun (Pis 13°45′) – Sat (Can 22°20′): trine (120°00′) orb: 8°35′
—————————
Moo (Can 15°44′) – Sat (Can 22°20′): conjunction (0°00′) orb: 6°35′
————————–
Ven (Ari 00°17′) – Sat (Can 22°20′): trine (120°00′) orb: 7°57′
——————————-
Mar (Sco 17°46′) – Sat (Can 22°20′): trine (120°00′) orb: 4°33′
——————————–
Sat (Ari 01°39′) – Sun (Lib 29°28′): inconjunction (150°00′) orb: 2°11′
——————————
Sat (Ari 01°39′) – Moo (Leo 14°11′): sesquisquare (135°00′) orb: 2°28′
—————————
Sat (Ari 01°39′) – Mer (Sco 04°32′): inconjunction (150°00′) orb: 2°53′
———————————
Sat (Ari 01°39′) – Ven (Sag 07°36′): trine (120°00′) orb: 5°57′
—————————–
Sat (Ari 01°39′) – Mar (Sco 02°07′): inconjunction (150°00′) orb: 0°28′
———————————–
Sat (Ari 01°39′) – Nep (Sco 18°32′): sesquisquare (135°00′) orb: 1°54′
—————————–
Sat (Ari 01°39′) – NNd (Lib 08°58′): opposition (180°00′) orb: 7°19′
——————————
Sat (Ari 01°39′) – SNd (Ari 08°58′): conjunction (0°00′) orb: 7°19′
——————————–
Sat (Ari 01°39′) – Chi (Ari 04°04′): conjunction (0°00′) orb: 2°25′
———————————-
This is a friend/person I work for….
him to me………..
Sun (Can 23°31′) – Sat (Can 22°20′): conjunction (0°00′) orb: 1°11
—————————
Moo (Can 14°33′) – Sat (Can 22°20′): conjunction (0°00′) orb: 7°47′
—————————————–
Mer (Can 19°09′) – Sat (Can 22°20′): conjunction (0°00′) orb: 3°10′
——————————–
Sat (Cap 00°46′) – Sun (Lib 29°28′): sextile (60°00′) orb: 1°18′
———————
Sat (Cap 00°46′) – Moo (Leo 14°11′): sesquisquare (135°00′) orb: 1°35′
————————–
Sat (Cap 00°46′) – Mer (Sco 04°32′): sextile (60°00′) orb: 3°46′
—————————-
Sat (Cap 00°46′) – Mar (Sco 02°07′): sextile (60°00′) orb: 1°21′
——————————–
Sat (Cap 00°46′) – Jup (Tau 02°00′): trine (120°00′) orb: 1°14′
———————————
Sat (Cap 00°46′) – Ura (Lib 14°05′): quintile (72°00′) orb: 4°41′
——————————
Sat (Cap 00°46′) – Chi (Ari 04°04′): square (90°00′) orb: 3°18′
———————————-
Me to him………….
Sun (Lib 29°28′) – Sat (Cap 00°46′): sextile (60°00′) orb: 1°18′
—————————–
Moo (Leo 14°11′) – Sat (Cap 00°46′): sesquisquare (135°00′) orb: 1°35′
——————————–
Mer (Sco 04°32′) – Sat (Cap 00°46′): sextile (60°00′) orb: 3°46
——————————-
Mar (Sco 02°07′) – Sat (Cap 00°46′): sextile (60°00′) orb: 1°21′
—————————–
Jup (Tau 02°00′) – Sat (Cap 00°46′): trine (120°00′) orb: 1°14
——————————
Sat (Can 22°20′) – Sun (Can 23°31′): conjunction (0°00′) orb: 1°11′
————————
Sat (Can 22°20′) – Moo (Can 14°33′): conjunction (0°00′) orb: 7°47′
——————————
Sat (Can 22°20′) – Mer (Can 19°09′): conjunction (0°00′) orb: 3°10′
————————————-
Sat (Can 22°20′) – Ura (Leo 01°24′): conjunction (0°00′) orb: 9°04′
——————————
Sat (Can 22°20′) – Nep (Lib 14°27′): square (90°00′) orb: 7°52′
———————————–
My Saturn is conjunct his Sun. His Saturn trines my ASC and is conjunct my S. Node. We have a very supportive relationship, it is soooooo awesome. I’m gooey with Pisces Moon love today.
I have a friend and we have many good aspects between our charts. He is a scorpio, with moon in leo, and I am libra/libra with a Taurus rising. The one aspect that has troubled me is my Aqu Mars sq. his Taur Saturn. He gets very annoyed with me at times over things I say or do.
Some of the things I’ve read says that this is a deal breaker for long term relationships. I worry about it, but I cannot seem to let go. (I attribute this to his moon being in my 4th house and his sun being in my 7th.) Many of the times I annoy him, I find that I stop to look at my behavior to see what I did, and often find myself being childish and force myself to “grow up”. I can’t say I don’t feel somewhat controlled, and that really bugs me now and then, but for the most part I’ve learned a lot from our relationship. I am curious if even though it is a square if it doesn’t ground our otherwise lovely looking synastry?
My Mother and I have Mars/Saturn Synastry.
I cut off all communication with her years ago.
This is one of the most difficult aspects in Synastry.
(((cosmickisses2u)))
great post- thank you satori <3
I have mars opposite saturn in synastry- and we have saturn square mars and moon in composite. I do worry that this is a deal breaker….other aspects seem pretty good in composite- grand earth trine and sun moon in same sign 4th house. venus in 5th..
oh yeah but…pluto square venus
so- run to the hills?…how do you balance all this?…
OMG. “I’ll act how I want to act” is exactly what my mars says to his Saturn all day long. I hate how he tries to control me before I even have a blow up. And then trip out before he’s even seen the REALLY bad me, which all close life long friends get to witness. Like seriously, shut the nagging. Quit editing my emotions!