Meeting Someone Who Triggers You

bearers of the burden -1881Recently someone new came into my life. I knew immediately, there was tension on a number of levels… along with significant affinity.  This is someone I cannot dismiss.

As fate would have it, his birth data was also revealed to me, right away. I came home and threw the chart up.

The man has his Sun in Cancer conjunct Saturn, opposing my Capricorn. Oh jeez! Who is going to parent who?

There is the male/female thing.
He’s got me on the age front. He’s older.
We’ve got totally different backgrounds; both are extreme.
Ditto, our life experience.

So you’d think we’d just stand opposite each other in some kind of face-off. No such luck!

Instead his Mars is (exactly) conjunct my sun. Piss me off, much? Agitate me? Challenge me?

His Venus is (exactly) conjunct my Pluto. Ugh! Do I degrade him or is it the other way around?  What about the stupid vortex that’s created?

Can you see the problem here?  We can never come together. We also can’t separate and unfortunately. there’s more.

My Mars is (exactly) conjunct his Chiron. I’d like to apologize for this, considering these planets are in Libra. How would you like someone sticking a knife in your unhealable wound, just by being there?  Not that it’s any fun on my end. I’d like to disappear.

But I can’t! I’m held fast by the Saturn connection which will do nothing but intensify.

I don’t think situations like this are that common. I wonder what the point is. I’m carrying a decent load as it is. Here comes a few more bricks.

Have you ever had to deal with someone who over-stimulates you?  How long did it go on and what did you learn?


37 thoughts on “Meeting Someone Who Triggers You”

  1. YES!
    My former partner’s moon was conjunct my Rx Chiron… whiiich is exactly conjunct fixed star Algol (the Medusa myth.)
    His Chiron was also only 1 degree away from this. His Taurus Sun, Moon and Mercury was in his 12th house. Pathalogical lier, narcissist and abuser. His Neptune was conjunct his MC and square to both Mars and Venus. Don’t even get me started on the composite. That was one nasty Saturn-Pluto-Venus square right there.

    It really was the epithome of pain is so close to pleasure…

    My current BF has his moon almost conjunct my 12th house SN in Capricorn/12th house. This is unnerving, because it is tied up to Mars, who in his chart is tied up to Pluto. Luckily in a trine.
    His Pluto is conjunct my Libra moon.
    The Moon wants to be pretty and flirty about it, and Pluto just want to devour body, mind and spirit. I feel the urge to put up boundaries for him, otherwise he will tie me to the bed and never let me go or something – pardon my French. Not that my Scorpio Venus complains, but the Moon is disturbed LOL.

    This is all very public, as Venus and Moon is in the 9th and 10th house. I’m sure this is visible for others to see as well 😛

  2. I meet people like this all the time… I get their chart and then I think oh no.. how long will it be before we cross swords. This girl has 6 planets in sag (one in scorpio) and acts like she doesn’t cause they’re in her 12th house.. it’s bananas. This one guy has the same and left me hanging at 12 am when I was supposed to crash at his house cause he said “I can only spend 36 hours with you.” Synastry just constellates. I was with a guy.. Pluto overlays.. Saturn on my Venus.. we just magnetized and clashed and argued and he still acted like he was happy to know me. I am insecure though and I hate when people talk me up and later realize they don’t like me.

    I mean.. how are people supposed to get along if they have these tense different ways of seeing?

    1. “I mean.. how are people supposed to get along if they have these tense different ways of seeing?”

      You’ve got to take it case, by case. In my situations, boundaries / limiting interaction is probably the best defense.

      1. The issue is.. the more I study astrology.. the more I see differences in people (and me.) Not sameness. With my Mars/Venus Pluto transit I keep meeting people who (..seeing the way I live my life) have some sort of advice or thing to tell me about how I’m doing it wrong or what I should do. I check the chart and there are often some clear differences in synastry there.. (One guy told me I’m neurotic and need to take 5-8 mushrooms and go in the forest.) Usually the more airy/firey they are.. the more the advice seems unsuited to me.

        There’s no perfect golden synastry right? The people who lead you to grow or open your perspective probably have Saturn aspecting your Mars or something. Which is an aspect that alternates restricting/annoying and teaching you.

        1. Also.. I am not motivated to get along with people really.. I am motivated to be comfortable, understood, not hurt.. I guess to have the environment not negatively impact how I feel. I don’t adapt to people or situations well.. even cities.. I tend to have the same experience over and over. (i.e. I can’t handle Lazio culture that well because of strangers/waiters staring at me when I make weird wardrobe choices and talking shit in ways I can understand) So I guess socializing with “different” people or pains in the ass is less appealing…

    2. ‘Saturn on my Venus’
      I always thought this meant the Saturn liked the Venus a lot but based on their own level of maturity and insecurity would either help build up or criticize you and your style [venus]
      Is that what happened with you, Kri? Sorry to be nosy, but interested in the aspect.

      1. He squished my individuality, yes. But the thing is there was Pluto synastry on both sides. So the liking each other comes from that. But Saturn in cancer is a very horrible placement. He sees women as rabbits. It is a sexist placement.. the people I met with it think I can’t do anything and want to overprotect me. It’s not something my fledgling wings can handle.

  3. Oh yeah.. that Sag guy didn’t even text me the next day when he left me without a home for the night to see how I was!! He texted me at 5 pm to say he had a lazy day and was puttering around all that day.. (plus earlier in the night touched my ass and never even bought me a drink.. sure he was doing me a favor by letting me crash.. we were both clearly feeling each other out and something physical would happen..)

      1. I don’t buy it. A lot of practice with one of the sibs and she is a venus in scorpio. I was always amazed at gatherings, when she was speaking, people were zombie-atized. But it was all bullshit.

        She always said, people like me, but not for very long. How long can a person stay entranced anyway?

  4. UGH, this meeting just occurred for me a few days ago. Hours before Venus went Retro!

    I cross paths with this woman once or twice a week. I had overheard that she was a practicing astrologer, but I did not feel any interested vibe to inquire or connect with her that way.
    Then on this day she throws out some astro words to no one in particular (though I’m the only one in the vicinity) and without thinking I bite the bait (which also cued me into my own know-it-all tendency.)
    By the end of this 5 minute conversation I had broke three of my personal boundaries with this woman who triggered my mother relationship and spent the next 48 hours livid and berating myself.

    Her venus opposes a lot of my capricorn, her mars is on my sun, my mercury is on her chiron, and her pluto/jupiter oppose my sun (this was the main trigger regarding my mom.) toxic authority.
    Ewww, my skin is actually crawling right now as I recall how easy it was to slide into an old version of me. She guessed my MC/pluto conjunction after I flat out told her I don’t want to share something with her. she said ‘oh so see you have to decide if you can trust me. you’ve had experience with toxic authority.’
    At the time I nodded yes, taking in the breeze of feeling seen. Later I was like ‘….did she just presume she’s an authority figure in my life?! W.T.F.?!?! I actually felt nauseous.

    Next time I saw her I smiled and shared pleasantries, but did not engage her in conversation past this. a while later there was a moment I had an inclination to reach out – maybe I was being too rigid – and that inner voice reared up – DO NOT REACH OUT.
    oooook then. moments later there was an exchange between myself and another woman present and this triggering woman showed a part of herself that gave me my AHA! yea, not interested in connecting to parent or be parented by her nor am I interested in acknowledging her knowledge – knowledge that she wants recognized vs desiring to share it.

    I’m looking forward to practicing my poker face and responding with ‘how interesting….’

      1. I’m Pluto MC. I loathe people who project authority over others, especially me. I could probably be a tyrant myself but Saturn squares pluto. I guess that is a decision? It can go one way or the other.

  5. Boundaries and limiting interaction is my approach too.

    If an interaction is off the charts in terms of overstimulation, I don’t enjoy staying around more than needed yet I try to contain my ‘flight’ reaction so I can still work or relate with them as needed.

    I use my mercury venus conjunction to think of something positive in the person if they are a good person and try to be kind while we interact. Yet I limit the interactions nevertheless in general.

    If the intense synastry is with a really difficult person, I try to avoid them and I’m civil yet no more than that. Using my venus mercury aspect strongly in those occasions is not worth it.

    I find that as the interaction is felt strongly by both parties, they are probably welcoming the short/need-only interaction too.

    Only the really difficult people are the ones who want to stay close to me as they want to have an impact on/control me. I don’t stick around long…

    The above is mostly in my personal life.

    In my work sometimes I get to choose whom I work with and sometimes I don’t. I try my best to relate and help.

    I’ve noticed many clients’ plutos in opposition to my moon is the flavour of this year! I let clients affect me and work with that too.

  6. Everyone overstimulates me to varying degrees but there was one Scorpio with Mars in Aries that just overwhelmed me. He was really attracted to me, was physically imposing, very dark look, six foot five to my five foot 3 and in really good shape. It brought out all kinds of survival instincts out in me, including just general crazy behavior. I just wanted to get away from him, but was simultaneously attracted.

  7. Wow. This resonated. I have two of these, similar placements, and I am still involved in both. One 11 years on, the other 4. I am learning about who I am, my strength, feeling and being equal, and how to stay steady. Also, how they each need me in some way.

  8. anonymoushermit

    Yup. I just triggered this guy friend, once. Mars aspectS and all! Anger flying everywhere. Mars was everywhere!

  9. People who make you vibrate like a tuning fork are almost certainly people you have spent other lives with, and whose charts will interact with yours in curious ways–that is my experience.

  10. Maybe I can’t differentiate imperfect synastry with ‘triggered.’ The time I’ve been getting bothered by squares and things is usually when someone is advising or criticizing me… Telling me what I do wrong. I’m like ‘yeah stellium in aquarius… You can definitely advise me on what to do differently.. it won’t make me feel like an idiot child and be something I can’t put into practice cause it’s not tailored
    to me’

    I just want the interaction to feel good or something. Pluto shit creates pull, yeah. Uranus aspects are often great for people recommending me books and shit.. I don’t know what I’m expecting from interactions. But I often slide away feeling empty or like something’s missing. Alone lately I know I miss the belonging and distraction hanging with others can provide. I feel a need for support and catharsis.. electricity and connection. But yet.. I slink away from people often with a sense that I failed in empathy and randomly shut down and disconnected. Even from animals. But I keep going out there and trying. Wtf is this transit anyway

  11. Oh yes…my entire life. My sister has her Sun on my descendant and I have my Sun and Moon on her Desc. My Mars conjuncts her Moon in her 8th house. Her Mars conjuncts my Sun and Moon in my 8th house. There’s more. It’s really unfortunate because I would like to be close to her and I think it’s mutual, I really wish we had a good relationship but it will probably never be. It turned out much easier once I accepted that. What gets me is you can see it in the astrology but still can’t change it.

  12. There are a few where I work I either pretend like they are interesting in the moment or avoid or ignore them. Sometimes Mars in Taurus is really great just stare at them without flinching.

  13. My mars conjunct someone’s moon. I always feel I might have been rude/abrupt after we talk (opp venus) though we have normal conversations and they’ve never mentioned or indicated I was and seek me out to discuss any issues they have.
    But for some dumb reason I always feel like I need to apologise after our talks. I’ve learnt and keep trying to be more considerate, less direct but I don’t know if it matters to them.
    Would that be a good example, or maybe it doesn’t apply here.

  14. Avatar

    Has become an interesting synastry conversation!

    Someones Mars on my Pluto and the conversation, seemingly against my will became a therapy session. Disappointing the girl was dropdead gorgeous. Didn’t see her again.

    Sun on my Saturn in the 8th. No problem here that just seemed to be a theme.

    Lilith on my Sun, which is girls born only a couple of months later than me, didn’t seem to work that well.

    Perhaps the good aspects are less easy to notice because I can’t name any offhand. Might be worth looking around charts more often actually in free time.

    Someones Sun and Chiron on my Chiron and there are good, deep conversations.

  15. Don’t take any wooden nickles nor eat any pomegranate seeds…Nothing smart comes out of a vortex of stupid.

  16. Synastry goes both ways for me… Some grab my sympathy too or fascinate me for no reason.. like I keep researching rapper tay k today.. I don’t get fascinated with everyone .. problem is even when a person you actually meet fascinates you or makes you feel good at first.. there will be other difficult or negative synastry in the chart. For me a Jupiter interaspect lasts a few months.. I try to enjoy it

  17. Sounds like a tricky situation Elsa. To answer the question – YES. I think you know the person I am referring to, that I have amputated from my life going on five years now. His Chiron was on my Chiron, (ouch and ouch again?), my Vertex was opp his Moon (exact) in my 8th and his first. My Venus was opp his Cancer Moon (his Moon was in the first and my Venus in his 7th). His Saturn was in my 12th House ruled by Pluto and Mars (wide orb to my Sun and ASC but still!), my Moon/Pluto was conj. his Sun or Venus (can’t remember now – a wide orb to but it reached!) and his Uranus Pluto conj. was conj by Uranus. It was fun at first and slowly turned into a s**t show of which by the end, I was drained, hurt and psychologically in turmoil. I had to do a ritual to get rid of him for good and so glad I did. I hope you situation, Elsa, does not follow this one.

  18. Yes. I learned I needed to erect solid boundaries and fertilize my self esteem. Empath me in the ring with narcissist he. No fists, no violence just multiple triggers. Lol, it’s all I could do in the end. I felt like Ganesh in meditation with a sword, removing obstacles to my growth while my heart beat as wild as a primal drum and my head spun in a confusion of Hurricane dizziness. 😀

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