Dear Elsa,
This man I became involved with took a large sum of money from me, after he pretended to love me and said he wanted to be with me for the rest of his life. Before all this badness transpired, I had the word “sociopath” flash through my mind. I quickly dismissed this notion, because he told me he didn’t like it and went on about how important the truth is! So yeah, he did lie.
Now he keeps saying he will pay me back, and we’ll get it all in writing and such. I actually hate this man now, but I am still drawn to him! How can this be? I KNOW he is evil. How can I break this tie, this spell, this curse? What is the best way to handle such a Taurus-demon?
I just want to get my money back and forget about this derelict-has-been-shell of a man! I need a better angle; all I’ve been doing is pissing him off.
Sad Cancer
United States
Dear Cancer,
You are not rid of this man because you haven’t learned anything yet. And I am sorry if that is harsh, but I am trying to save you a few thousand dollars. For starters, this man did not take your money. You gave him your money – and if you don’t get hip to this and quickly, you will probably give him some more!
It’s occurred to you that he is a sociopath and you are probably right about that. So what do you think you are going to do – teach this guy some manners? Get him to behave? Control him? Manipulate him? Take him to church? I think you’re in over your head. Have you ever heard of “cut your losses”? Because this is what I think you should do, but if not, no problem. I am sure he will be more than happy to beat you some more.
Think of it like this: You are in a cage with a jaguar and he is mean and he is mad. You can leave. The door to the cage is not locked but you are choosing to stay in there and try to fight, as if this cat is going to all the sudden sit down and have tea with you. And not only that, you think he might dress your wounds by giving you back your money. That is not going to happen! What’s going to happen is he’s going to cut you some more, so how about leaving with the wounds already incurred?
And I don’t mean to sound unsympathetic. I am very sympathetic. I just don’t think he’s going to give back anything he’s taken from you. The juice only flows in one direction.
If there is legal remedy then pursue it. But whatever the case, get out of that cage and run! You can not outfox this kind of fox. I’m sorry. 🙁
Good luck.
~~
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Oh yes, I agree. You cannot outfox the fox.
I’m a solar leo and I dated a Taurus who was also money fixated and after dating him I will not do that again. By money fixated, he initially had job, quit job, did not work for 1 yr, charged up his cards, filed bancruptcy (@28yo), since could not pay for things I would front ‘some’ money towards joint expenses, etc. I don’t regret it. It was a lesson worth learning. There’s nothing wrong with being nice and trusting. Just keep your eyes open, mind flexible and understand that what you choose to ‘gift’ away you can’t ‘expect’ to get back. It just will or won’t find you again.
Sorry you went through this.
If he is willing to sign a piece of paper saying he owes you the money, GET HIM TO SIGN IT. Preferably with a date for payback, but even without it. If you have it in writing, you can easily take him to small claims court. You may not ever see any money from him, and he probably won’t learn anything anyway, but it may give you a sense of having DONE something.
You can still take him to court without the document, but WITH the document with his signature, you are in a MUCH better position. If you don’t have it, he’ll go in to court saying it was a gift, using all his sociopathic skills, and the judge may well fall for it. In court, the truth is on your side only if you can prove it.
Oh yeah, I can prove it. And this guy is so textbook sociopath, anyone can peice together what happened. He accepted the generosity I gave, under the premise that the $ would be used to grow more $, into an empire of sorts. I allowed him to kissy-huggy-feely-bully me into doing it off the paper. I knew it was risky, but I wanted to believe. Maybe I’m a sycophant? And hey, I keep running into taurus too, maybe I was bound to get gored? It’s as though I’m a spectator to my current reality, all I can do is watch and wait. My case is well documented, and its much more than small claims. If nothing else, this should teach me the value of a dollar, for I took on a 2nd mortgage to do this. Does this have something to do with this double t-square? My 1st grade teacher told my parents that I flirt with danger. Overcoming one’s nature sure can be tough! How bout I sneak out the cage and slam the door? He does invite me in to have coffee now and again, but he must know I know. He’s slick and knows I cant afford to run.
Giirrll!!! I feel ya! I keep finding myself back with (although I say I’m not) my ex who has lied and lied and cheated (not physically) and ew, just took my trust and faith. Somehow I seem to keep forgiving and understanding and having faith (and ATTRACTION UGH!) in this man (boy). I’ve played with fire my whole life too, it’s the excitement that if I don’t have, I will create. But this is not healthy excitement. I have sag rising and I think that has something to do with it, and I am also a Cancer sun, which obviously plays a huge role in our loving and caring. But we need to get our act together girlfriend. It’s so hard! We will learn, and we will then have true love. 🙂 May the (good) force be with you. *oh, here he calls now. I’m not gonna answer. But he’ll keep calling. F*@#er!!!
Hey!!!! In defense of Taurus – we’re not all money grubbing scoundrels. I’m a Taurus and have been taken advantage of many times. I’m still a soft touch, especially to my family. Now that I am older and have repaid my debt, recovered from my divorce and learned to live frugally (yes – that word CAN be in the Taurus vocabulary) I’m pretty well off – and I don’t want or need anything from anybody except love – and maybe some appreciation for all I do for THEM!!
Still, when I give somebody something, whether it’s money or posessions, I always assume I’m not getting paid back. That way I am pleasantly surprised if I do get repaid.
Also, if you can’t afford to lose it, don’t give it away – lesson learned, sometimes tha hard way. Been there, done that – wrote it off.
Wrote it off over a year ago. Thanks for reading:)