Making Negative Assumptions About How People Feel About You

When you run across information that someone is or may be talking about you, do you assume it is bad…or good?

If I don’t know otherwise, I assume what is say is good. Even if it isn’t good, I assume it will benefit me in some way, eventually, regardless.

I learned this from Piscean, satori and its been a big help over the years. It spares me feeling bad for no reason, but it’s also a huge faith (Neptune) builder (Saturn).

Do your assumptions tend to be positive…or negative?

18 thoughts on “Making Negative Assumptions About How People Feel About You”

  1. we are so awesome; why would anyone be talking bad about us?? if they are, clearly there’s something wrong with them, so why pay attention? 😀

  2. I wish I would have had that perspective a few years ago when I was shit-talked, to not let it get to me because it would work out to my advantage in the end because it would bite motherfuckers in the ass. But I pushed back and now some people think I’m as crazy/bad as the person who shit-talked me said.

  3. Same as Josephine.

    It doesn’t matter if it’s lies, or it’s them that has a problem, I still have to deal with them and what they have said.

  4. I don’t think much about people having conversations about me (like, I don’t think my colleagues would normally trash talk me. It just doesn’t cross my mind).

    I’d like to say I could develop the kind of attitude of assuming the best, but when I do actually consider people talking about me, based on some yucky history, I consider it will be negative, and inaccurate. Unfortunately, the kinds of corpses that have been floating up are just this type, and they’ve been very, well, active lately.

    I do think it can be a bad idea to push back, and I’ve wasted energy doing that, let alone the reputation piece. I love the idea of assuming it will benefit me, though I can’t imagine how. Maybe I need to work harder to imagine that.

    But it’s been 18 years of this- these people actively malign, interfere and block, and I’m trying to decide how I’m going to stand up and gracefully mess up their game once and for all. I do not want them doing it to me and my family anymore.

  5. I also think that people who have a bad opinion of me on one day will see it differently later, which is another reason not to get caught up.

    In general, I’m just glad, satori gave me this option. I’ve used her technique for years now with tremendous success.

    As weird as it sounds, a person might give it a try.

    Also, most people agree it is no good to be obsessed and judgmental of another person so if someone is doing this, they’ve got enough problems and you don’t want to invest or get involved with it. There are other things you can do with your time and energy for sure.

    This is a Saturn in Scorpio topic. Where are you going to invest your energy?

  6. “This is a Saturn in Scorpio topic. Where are you going to invest your energy?” … Exactly. I’m going through the answer to that question today. Years ago when I was living in a house I’d returned to after twenty plus years, I began getting sick. I’ve an occupied 8th House with Saturn and Mars, so legacy was playing out. I was asking questions and making requests of people from my past, then were giving me the same answers they’d always given me. “What’s wrong with you!” Fourteen years later (now) I’m having similar questions to ask, I’m the same person, the ‘others’ are different. While the old symptoms stirred up, I reacted with the old answers. In the morning, I acted differently, asked this new person the same question, “Will you make this change so I can survive/thrive?” This person said, “Of course, we can do that!”

    Sometimes the assumption is correct, if it’s the same old people you relate to. Sometimes it’s the attitude and the action that makes the difference. Investing in believing I’m worthy now that’s a great place to put my energy!

  7. That depends entirely on my mood at the moment I hear about it. If i´m on moon-saturn, i instinctively assume it must be bad. If Jupiter, ruler of my ascendant, wins – or Sun in 7, it can only be good to best ;-).

    Fact is that I´m a person that´s being talked about often, and most of the time in really favourable ways. Others tend to cherish me and my virtues more than I do myself.

  8. I usually assume it is positive. I have my own inner critic to contend with, so I don’t put energy into trying to suss out someone else’s opinion of me.

  9. I assume negative, when I’m feeling negative.

    I had that issue here, but couldn’t be sure. I know that I was worried about the way I was affecting people, but I couldn’t keep my mood up, and at the same time I really needed company. Since I’m pretty isolated – I don’t know my neighbours either (met one for the first time in April, when I kept an eye on her escapee dogs).

    I saw the thread about bitching and being mean, and it made me laugh, even though I know that anyone in there could have been mocking me. I felt so misunderstood when I was just feeling so awful, and knowing that people thought ill of me when I usually wasn’t that way just… it made me feel worse. I backed off when I was feeling bad, but made the mistake of coming back to soon, because I wasn’t feeling any better. I did apologize, but I was laughed at (no bitterness as I write that).

    I used to feel that things would eventually be fine, if I knew that people had the wrong end of the stick; I said that to someone three years ago: “I know that no matter how things are now, that they can change for the better.” Jupiter trine neptune in my 2nd: I was wary of bad, but eventually expected something *really* good, and I would be so upset if it didn’t happen that way. I can’t seem to go with the flow anymore, but I’m trying. I have friends; I have people who want to be my friend, but I keep expecting the knife, and I don’t feel good, so I have to keep them at arm’s length.

  10. It makes great sense of course that getting caught up in other people’s junk is a mistake. I suppose it should be no different if they are thinking ill of you. It’s still other people’s junk.

    In the event that their actions actually cause damage, it may be necessary to act of course, but getting caught up in the energy of it really doesn’t help, because in that case you need to be able to think clearly an act in a way that optimizes the chances of a win-win (like they’ll maybe come around) or at least increases the chance that you’ll get through it and thrive.

    Yep, it’s worth a concerted try, and now’s a great chance to practice, sorry to say :-[.

  11. Quite a bit of people talk about me still and I get surprised about this. With certain people I usually know its bad but try not to let it get to me.
    When I was younger, I found it fun for people to talk about me so I would put on a good show.
    I just think to myself now, I must be very a interesting somebody for people to talk about me whether its good or bad. So who gives a whos who of what.

  12. I always assume it’s bad. If it isn’t, then I’m pleasantly surprised for a minute before I start thinking..hmmm, wonder what the motivation behind that was.

  13. Of course I assume it’s negative. Got too much Saturm not to believe that. Instead, I just pretend that people don’t talk about me… Denial is my own Neptunian solution.

  14. I’m getting callused, out of necessity,so I am tending to look at what people say is really telling me about themselves, not me. And generally, I like people and their stories. I suppose I could say I’ve been neutered.

    Some years ago, though, I picked up a book on virgo, my sun sign, at a thrift store. The previous owner had highlighted some text in yellow, perfect rulered yellowed lines. I followed the highlights and discovered the positive traits were highlighted, while I was looking at all the negatives. It was an eye opening experience.

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