Our Commonality Is Suffering?

thinking about death Frida KahloI’ve said it many times, I lack perspective and go begging for it often.  Last night I was trying to get my husband’s view on something which can be difficult at times. It’s not that he’s not forthcoming. With Jupiter in Sagittarius, he will pontificate until you beg for mercy but he doesn’t always understand the question.

His Saturn in hard aspect to my Mercury makes communication difficult at times. In his vernacular he’d say I am an abstract thinker where he is logical and the two minds don’t always marry well.

I was trying to get his view on the affinity of our life experience, assuming he felt it existed which is a big if. I am not sure we have commonality. For example, he’s been around the world a few times where I have traveled very little in comparison. He lived with privilege for at least part of his young life where I am squarely from the other side of the tracks.

In whatever case, he said he did not think he could be interested in someone who had never suffered and/or didn’t know anything about it.  He’d not want to find himself in dire straits and be stuck with someone who had no idea how to operate when things go to shit.

I thought this was interesting. Doesn’t matter how you qualify, only that you do.

What gives you affinity with another?

15 thoughts on “Our Commonality Is Suffering?”

  1. Well, I know for myself…..I seem to have had the same background as your husband, that there is no way for me to have any type of relationship with anybody that does not have the capacity for deep thinking and probings of the “whys” and “whats” of life. My husband did not have the privileges that I had growing up, but because of the work he has done for the last 30 some years of his life, he has seen some horrific scenarios. This is a commonality between us and why we “get” each other…I am definitely more practical and methodical in my thinking and he is more abstract, but thinking and pontificating are two of our favorite things to do together…..

  2. Does a lot of what the Soldier says often shock or surprise you?

    I have some trouble finding affinity with people who have been in dire straits. I am very scared of suffering and pessimism.

    how are you, denamaria?

  3. My Mercury is in Pisces, my husband’s is in Aries. The combo actually works well for us. I can be thinking/talking about all the merky details of an issue and he can cut right to the point. I think each of our perspectives balance the other.

  4. My Mercury and my husband’s Mercury are conjunct in Sag. We’ve gotten past the, “That’s what I was thinking.” We’re both analytical with intuitive insights. I’m Saturn-Jupiter and he’s Jupiter-Saturn. Our backgrounds are similar both coming from working families still close to our extended family farming life.

  5. Same for me… affinity with people who have suffered or been challenged, gained compassion and strength through their trials, know how to show up, work through the hard stuff, and enjoy the blessings.

  6. I hope I have an affinity with people who have suffered. I have Sun in the 12th and Moon in Virgo. I think I know a bit about suffering but to the degree that I think it warrants talking about to others, unless they are REALLY close friends, no. But I have no qualms regarding hearing about others suffering and feel no shock from what they tell me. I am aware that things go deep in life that are not visible to the naked eye. I can relate to that for sure.

  7. I think U Elsa P. and the Soldier make a great Couple because He sees some things and U see other things so in any situation U both come out Fine !!!

    I have Mercury & Venus 11th house in Gemini so i am lucky in Friendship !!!

    Blessings !!!

  8. There is a mental intelligence and emotional intelligence
    The trick is not to lose the sense of wonder.
    Saturn-Mercury is intelligence ??

    I love your blog and people here.

    My pisces daughter suffers badly , my job all day is to do strange (weird) things for her heart learn to think.

    Thank you.

  9. I absolutely agree with the Soldier. I need the main man (that is when I have one!) to have suffered, to have pondered his life and to have undertaken some deep thoughts about himself and the universe. I am seeking a guy who gets me – problem is there’s not tons of guys out there who fit my bill – or maybe there are, I’ve just not met them!

  10. I think my commonality is simply “strongly individualistic.”

    By that I mean I can’t find a bridge to people who have always subsumed themselves, their personality, for the group. There’s no “grip,” it’s like I slide off of them.
    I have to be with people who have stood up for themselves, at least once.

  11. I have affinity with people who can go beyond my Gemini easy going asc and see through that I am in reality very shy and withdrawn.

    To the average person, I come across as a very confident, Mars in Leo person, they just don’t see how this Mars is under fire. But it’s ok of course, usually it is like that.

    Some people understand by knowing me better, and some just get it, even without knowing me well, and then I feel an affinity because I feel more comfortable.

  12. I can find affinity with just about anyone on a “we’re all humans” level, but it’s very rare that I find someone to really connect with. It has to do with intelligence and a familiarity with both the light and the dark. I can’t get with someone who’s only experienced either pole and can’t integrate the two.

  13. must confess to, not really getting super fluffy people who prefer denial

    had a good loving family but have still known some pretty intensive suffering over the years

    scorpios don’t do shallow

    mix that with the acute terror of kundalini awakening and you certiantly know you have lived

  14. Dawn – same set up as you with the 12th and moon. I’d say I have an affinity for those who can live through hard times but more than that I seem to have an affinity for people willing to WORK or willing to think about the big picture or a perspective not their own. I have been lucky enough to travel and experience other perspectives of other cultures.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Scroll to Top