Dear Elsa,
I’ve got a girlfriend who I love dearly. We’ve been together for 7 months. It was an instant connection between us, until recently. The passion, conversation and everything had been great between us, but recently she has seemed to go really distant with me, not wanting to have any sort of conversation with me unless she starts. And when I try to talk, she tells me to “shhh” or gives short answers.
The sex is isn’t as frequent as it used to be and I’m running out of ideas on how to make her come back from being distant with me. I never shout at her and I am always nice but she still seems to get mad at me over the littlest of things, whether it’s my fault or not. She makes it out as if it is and then won’t speak or let me touch her for the rest of the night.
Can you please give me some insight in to the problem?
Boyfriend Shut Out
Dear Boyfriend,
Your girlfriend is passive aggressive. She is pissed off and you need to find out why.
Now it’s possible she wants out of the relationship but rather than tell you this directly she just going to make things completely unbearable until you crack. Then when you finally walk she’ll stand there looking all innocent as in “Who, me?” Ugh.
And if this is the case, then there is nothing you can do about it. She’ll just keep this up until she crushes you, which I think is despicable by the way.
But there are other possibilities and to explore them you are going to have to try to communicate with her. You’ll have to get her to open up and tell you what is bothering her. Is she pissed off because of something you did last month? Is she unhappy for a reason she can’t name and you’re the fall guy? Has she met someone else she is interested in, but does not want to tell you?
I’m sorry, but you need to find these things out. And if she continues to evade questions like these, I am afraid you are going to have to assume she wants out of the relationship.
Because if your partner won’t tell you what is bothering them when they are asked with love and care and open mind, it’s becomes obvious they’re not interested in working things out. And if you’re dealing with a passive aggressive person, don’t hold your breath waiting for them to tell you why. I am very sorry.
Good luck.
Good answer(s).
Blogmad hit!
Ouch–what a wakeup call. still, i would have been very relieved and even consoled had someone offered me this advice whenever i was in that same situ.
peace yall~
if you’re over 18 you don’t have to stand for anyone shushing you, EVER. that makes me angry on your behalf. grrrr.