It’s been nearly a year since we moved ‘cross country with Uranus squaring Pluto. I posted A Personal Update at that time. We’d bought our house, you can see it there. But I was squatting in a rental house, with the move in date delayed for two months.
I feel settled in at home but I realized today, we’re still in the process of trying to wiggle our feet into these new shoes. People have to figure us out to some extent. It takes time.
A couple weeks ago, I dropped off the Colorado business stuff with a local accountant I met last spring. I met her a couple times and really liked her. I liked her name before I met her. When I met her, she lived up to her name so it was great.
I have no idea what she thinks of me. I don’t think anyone around here has any clue what to think of me. I mean, I’m a Yankee, I suppose, though no one ever says that to me. That much is a given but besides that, I’m just odd.
I was reminded of this when I was sitting in a meeting of Southerners. Someone complimented the color of my coat.
“Thank you!” I said. “This coat is eighty years old!” I said, chirpily.
Everyone at the table had their jaw drop. I was not expecting this. I tried to think quickly.
“Uh…this is an old coat. It’s from about 1940, I think. I’ve had it myself for about 20 years…I guess it’s more like 75 years old, but it is that old. I think I paid twelve dollars for it back then,” I added.
::blank stares::
I realized, maybe people here never had a “vintage” fad? “Um…I like old coats,” I said. “I’m a weirdo, I guess…”
See, I forget this. And I do like old coats! And I was in Colorado for twenty years…I’ve got a few of them. But there is really no explaining this, is there?
Back to the accountant, I was surprised when I called her six month after we’d met and she knew who I was. I guess she may have visited my blog? I hope not and I will never ask. But anyway, she’s aware of me and she holds whatever opinion she holds. I’ve chatted with her some, under stress in a Lupus flare, so who knows. I stopped by and dropped off our tax stuff with her.
Friday, my husband was going to town to go to the doctor. Her office is three blocks away so I asked him to drop off the rest of our tax info. “Meet her, would you?” I asked. “Just stick your head in and say, hi. She’s real busy so she’s not going to hold you or anything. I just want her to meet you.” He agreed.
I didn’t think about why I asked him to do this. It’s not really conscious. But when he got home, I asked him, “Did your meet, _____?”
“Yes.”
“What’d you say?”
“Nothin’. I said, yes ma’am, no ma’am to her..”
“Oh, that’s perfect.”
It’s perfect because I don’t think people would expect me to be with him or him to be with me. I mean I am a pretty nutty and he’s a military person with tattoos.
Now if you see us together, we’re an obvious match. We have chemistry. But my point is that people have to get to know us and they’re not going to be able to do that until they meet us both.
It’s kind of funny. So many funny accidents are being set up at this time.
For example, I go into one of the little towns to get my hair done, talk to a butcher, deal with the business section of the county and I occasionally donate something.
My husband goes into the same town…and makes his own impression. For example, he told a little girl about, seven years old, “Pardon me, ma’am…”
Her eyes got all big and she ran to her mother. “He called me ma’am! He called me ma’am!”
Or he goes to the dump with his brother or the gravel quarry or the lumber store, and it’s all very masculine.
One of these days, we’re going to go together. When we do, people will have to recalibrate their opinions, I suppose. I really don’t think you could meet either of us, independently and think we’d go together.
I’m sure you can tell, this is all enjoyable to me. And it’s just like that. I’m wigglin’ my foot into a shoe, I know is going to fit!
How are you adapting the the changes in your life?
I have adapted as well as could be expected I guess. It’s rare that I get upset over the losses. I do have my moments where a wave of insecurity will wash over me and I think that everyone is going to abandon me then I will snap out of it. I can’t begin to describe how thankful I am for my Sadge friend with the Scorpio Moon.
(((Tam)))
Sometimes, one friend is all you need. 🙂
Thank you Elsa! You have been through much worse than I have. <3 I have other good friends too but she has really shored me up for lack of a better description.
{{{HUGS}}}
Hang in there Tam and just take one day at a time.
Tam, I feel for you. The exact same situation. Thankful endlessly for my Scorpio moon friend.
Thanks JoFrance and aQiQ. The worst is over.
It’s a trip. A lot of it wouldn’t make sense to anyone else.
However, I am in the process of giving up my penchance for frufru. I just haven’t been able to let it go. It hurts. But bare bones seem to be the direction now.
Its a whole new world for me. I’m adapting to being a retired person. I like the freedom, but I’m having a hard time adjusting to this new lifestyle. I never realized how much my job shaped my life; the whole routine, etc. Now I do what I want when I want, but my life is missing the structure and passion that my job provided. I just haven’t found a replacement for that yet.
The Pluto and Uranus square create a Grand Cross in my chart with my natal Mars (19 Libra) square Uranus (22 Cancer). It will never be totally exact, thankfully, but close enough. Its all in Cardinal houses. What a big change in my life in every way and its all very challenging.
Love this post! I always reveal the thrift shop origins of my treasured wardrobe when complimented — the reactions create new connections with like-minded “weirdos” — yay!
PS Elsa. I have lots of old coats too. I sold one on eBay and couldn’t believe how many people wanted it. My coat was about 40 years old, wool, but I will never fit into a size 5 again, so . . . I made $50 on it!
It’ll take a little while to fit in to the community but I’m sure your efforts will pay off.
I discovered early in my life that “weird” is something no one really cares about in my hometown of New York City. I used to buy old coats and jackets all the time. Some of my coolest jackets were secondhand. No one batted an eyelash if I said they were old. You and your husband probably wouldn’t be noticed at all in this city. You wouldn’t be considered weird; in fact, no one would really care one way or the other. People walk down the street with purple or green hair or they wear black turtlenecks in the summer and no one gives a crap. For nonconformists and weirdos, NYC is the best place to live. If I lived where you live, I’d probably be run out of town.
Appearances are sometimes deceiving and sometimes not….no wonder it can be confusing!! My husband and I are an “odd couple” too…..but it is what it is.
I can finally feel that it’s the ‘after’ time of the Uranus/Pluto square. People are still hurt and healing, but I can feel that we are pass the peak of the transit.
So well described. Relocated, feeling at-home but one foot still dangling in the past. It’s not a bad feeling, just not full-throttle yet. Spread a little thin. With the help of your posts, 2016 will bring closure and a total reboot. Thanks Elsa!
I was right about the gal. My husband told here, “Elsa asked me to give this to you…”
He wound up interacting with her twice and she specifically asked him, “Are you Elsa’s husband?”
See what I mean? We’re a mixed marriage. But when you see us together, obviously not.
I think people here really draw a line between, Yankee and Southern” and when there is a couple like us, it’s hard to categorize us.
My husband keeps it simple, not mentioning he live 1/2 his life in South America. When people find this out (I’ll mention it), they’re again, discombobulated.
One of the more amazing things…we’re friends with a couple from Australia. One day they told me that my husband was “the Italian”.
“What?” I said. “I’m Italian.”
“No, he’s the Italian. Are you Italian, too?”
“Oh my God. I am Italian. What made you think he was Italian?”
“His name…”
“Oh!” My husband has an Italian-ish name.
“And we thought you just married him. But not that you’re Italian.”
“I don’t look Italian to you?”
“Well, now that you say it…yes. Yes, you do look Italian.”
“Well let me ask you this: If you did not think I was Italian, what did you think I was?”
“American,” he said.
“I see. Well I am American. I am an Italian American. But my husband is not exactly Italian, as much as he’d like to be…” 🙂
So it’s very strange.
I think people would rather deal with someone from Arizona (me) then South America…but I could be wrong about that. I just know my husband’s twang solves pretty much any problem we encounter. My smiling avoids most problems.
But this is not how you get to know us, see? It’s just veneer, so superficial…well that’s why were curious. Because you can tell it’s superficial but no one knows what to ask.
The question around here is, “Where you from?” That’s supposed to tell all. But I have yet to meet anyone who has ever lived in Arizona or even had it cross their mind. So I may as well say, “I’m from Mars.”
People here don’t move to AZ. There is no need. It’s not that cold here and it’s very beautiful and inexpensive.
All in all, it’s been super interesting. I have yet to have an actual bad experience. But I also have a thick skin. I mean, come on! I’ve had this blog for 15 years. So I’m not exactly walking around all sensitive-like.
I used to worry about the same thing. My wife is younger and from Mexico while I am Caucasian. But even in our small (unincorporated, it’s so small) southern town, nobody gives us grief or seems too surprised. Maybe I’m oblivious. It seems that Southerners are mostly quite gracious and non-judgmental. No worries, right? Would really love to see pictures of you and your husband, Elsa! I guess he’s a private person.
I can relate to a lot of your posts which I find interesting. I think you have said you have a Cap rising also so maybe that is why I am having some similar experiences. I moved 8 months ago to another country and the adjustment has been challenging and I sometimes feel oddly misplaced. I am definitely American and sometimes it’s more apparent than other times. It’s interesting because I do still feel one foot is still straddling my old world and trying to hold on to it. Obviously I have my family and friends there but I wonder when I will totally break off and have a complete life here and when that does happen, will I ever want to return as we have planned?
I’m never going back. I expect this makes a big difference. I am here to invest and I make this clear, wherever I go.
For example, I had the same hair salon for 20 years. I have informed my current salon, I will be coming there until I die, unless they kick me out or something. 🙂
See, I am not sure whether we will stay or not. My husband has always said to me that we will move back to NY after 3-5 years. But what if I end up happy here? I am open to it, but so far my happiness is not consistent, if that makes any sense!
I understand. I just think local people are less likely to invest in you if they think you’re passing through. We will never be “locals” but we will be people who aren’t going anywhere. I’m sure this affects how most people view us.