Do you remember your encounters with bad energy? I can’t say that I do. I sort of move on and whatever it is that may be a burden, just drops off the back of the truck. However, Saturn is in Pisces and this stuff is floating in.
Specifically, I saw an image which immediately transported me back, decades. It reminded me of stopping in an account, back when I worked for Frito Lay. It was always a special order with these people, meaning they were not on anyone’s regular route.
Whenever I had to go there, I wished there was a way to skip it. Impossible of course. So I would go but invariably I would leave, vaguely pissed off. This was a private organization, rather than a retail outfit. They really didn’t like outsiders; it was obvious. Well, I don’t push myself into private clubs. I was there because they asked for me.
Anyway, these were some snotty people. So snotty, once triggered by the image, I could literally smell the air in the place. It’s been decades and I don’t think I have thought of this place in decades so I was pretty surprised at the new total recall. I immediately wondered if I could recall other places I went on that job, that I didn’t like.
I easily served 1000 businesses while at that job. Sure enough, it took me less than fifteen seconds to recall all the people or places who were distasteful to me for some reason. There were two other accounts I had a problem with. I’m not talking about personality conflicts. I’m talking about places, where I would have liked to have a shower, after I left.
As an example, I did not like going to the prison. It wasn’t the prisoners as much as the guards, but it was the prisoners too. I don’t like being eyeballed? But the guards would humiliate the prisoners, in my presence. In fact, I thought it was for my benefit. It made uncomfortable. Really, there was just too many men in the environment. They did not have female guards at the time.
It hit me, when you’re crappy to someone, or if I am crappy to someone, it’s possible they remember it… all their life. Is it the same with kindness? I don’t know. I don’t think so, to be honest. It’s oddly interesting.
Your thoughts?
Your posts invoke a lot of thinking and reflection lately.
Yes, it’s because I’m so censored.
Here’s something remarkable.
I had this post written and was looking for a picture, when I got a client’s “problem” email. Would you believe, part of his mail is about working briefly in an adult prison… had to quit. Intolerable.
What are the odds?
It is an intriguing post. I’m friends on facebook with an old aquaintance who was a prison guard until retirement. I was talking about my brother one day, who was schizophrenic and in a mental hospital until it closed. My thought to him was that I thought many homeless and wandering people simply have no-one who cares whether or not they survive, and described the lengths my mother went to for my brother, to keep him housed and fed. She was even able to call the local judge when Steve didn’t go for his regular shots and medications and they sent an officer to the house to pick him up for a ride to the hospital. The 80s were brutal on mentally ill people and their families, once the hospitals were all shut down. So anyway, the prison guard told me they were expected to know how to take care of prisoners with mental problems too, and he felt they really didn’t have the training to know what to do. In fact, doesn’t every prisoner have some level of emotional disability? I don’t know, but I suspect many do. Good ole Martha Stewart showed everyone how it’s done, taking responsibility for her crime and serving her time, and even made friends with some of the other prisoners and shared recipes. Life really is what you make it. Once my brother was qualified for social security, my mother took his little check and bought a house for him, small house, made payments until it was paid off. He was able to live alone. She carried a plate of food to him every night and bought various groceries. He developed MS along the way, a result of the horrible medications for schizophrenia. He ended his life in a nursing home where the nurses actually loved him. He was paralyzed except for the use of one hand and was able to feed himself. I met the nurse who bathed him every day from 2007 until he died in 2019. I could tell she loved him. We all did. I was comforted knowing he had such a caring nurse. He was crazy, but we used him to tell him our troubles. He listened, and never called us names or told us we were stupid. You know what I mean. He validated our feelings. I think the nurses all felt the same way. He entered a mental hospital in the early 80s, went home to live, then went to a nursing home in 2007. It’s a huge expense on society, but it teaches us humanity. The old ladies in the nursing home loved him too, as he became a voice for those who couldn’t speak for themselves. “Alice needs a cup of coffee” and that sort of thing. An old classmate of mine said they should be put to death. Do you know that you can sign papers to allow a loved one to starve to death? People use all kinds of excuses, “she chokes on food” etc. Hitler did that. He killed those who were a burden. I was horrified by my classmate’s expression. We are now 72 years old! Sorry for the long post, but maybe the new age coming will show us why we need to learn to be human.
that is true, about so many homeless are mentally ill, and their families abandoned them. Or they couldnt afford or can withstand the pain and suffering. its all too much responsibility: perhaps they were orphans or their family line passed away. so many variables and its so sad. The government is the only family and if there’s no good government to help those in need, then its a very sad situation. As for Hitler, he has so much hatred inside him. My husband was recently in Germany and he told me its a crime to say words like what they say back in the world war 2, to nazi salute and anything related to that. Two police officers in the news were suspended for doing that.
Thanka for that Pat. Full of loving kindness…and practical, needful actions taken.
‘Thankyou’ l meant to say, Pat. My machine delays corrections. I will blame Mercury Rx
That’s extraordinary!
The above was in response to Elsa , and the email that prompted the picture 🙂
Yes! I was taken aback.
I once went on a job interview and while waiting in reception I saw a man walk by that looked so much like my sister’s ex-husband that I almost turned around a left. Another job, they interviewed me outside of the office since the person I was supposedly replacing was going to retire (found out later they didn’t tell her). I accepted the offer and my first day of work was the first time I was ever in the office. I walked in and the smell of mildew was so strong I was repulsed. Didn’t last long there
I will agree have the stain of some “yucky”
Stuff in my brain. Funny what your brain holds on to vividly, and alas good wonderful stuff must expand and fly like a helium ballon, the brain doesn’t hold so tight?
I was just talking about this to my partner the other day. We were walking past a house I have very negative associations with from my childhood, and I was trying to describe the smell that was in there, and how if I smelled it again, I would be right back there. As I spoke, I could virtually smell it and it propelled me right back to being a vulnerable child.
I think these things stick with you for a reason, your psyche has left ‘markers’ for you for future reference, whether it’s a smell, a sound, whatever, to heed as a warning. (Not every time, obviously, but a reminder to listen to your gut instincts)
aw you have a wonderful loving family. it brings tears to my eyes that there are caring loving people who go through hardship to keep their loved ones cared for and watched over. Even the nurses loved your brother. He was probably showing them love back from the love he recieved from your mother and yourself. thanks for sharing.
oh sorry, that last message was to @Pat’s ^_^
I have Merc in Cancer so my memory is strong but of the feelings is especially vivid and with it in the 12th, aspecting Pluto, the memories can be traumatic. Unfortunately, I hardly ever forget. So I avoid seeing those places if I can help it.
I can recall both the good and the bad. I get “flashes” like that often. Triggers are often smells. I do think we remember the way people and/or places made us feel, whether good or bad, it sticks with us if the feeling was significant enough. It’s like Maya Angelou said “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
I love this topic. I know I’ve had experiences as such. I’ve also had situations where I would go to a place to try to capture that spirit (one that my bias wanted).
I really want to think on this more but I really appreciate this topic.