Have you ever noticed some people manage to avoid responsibility for everything while others are hyper-responsible? My friend, Ben calls the former, “Teflon People” because nothing sticks to them. They didn’t do it, it was the other guy. Even if they did do it, they still didn’t do it because it was the other guy who maaaaade them do it.
As for the hyper-responsible, they think everything is their fault. “If I had not done, x, y or z… if I had not combed my hair this morning, then none of this would have happened.”
Oddly enough I think both extremes are found among strong Saturn or Capricorn types. You think of Capricorn as being responsible but Capricorn is famous for having a strong defense and for controlling situations. So if Capricorn wants to defend against reality this poses no problem at all and history is replete with examples of this.
Do you fit one of these types? What are your observations around this?
As you know, Elsa, my son is saturated with Capricorn, and I’m here to tell you…it’s never his fault. Never. In the course of a nine week term at school he failed to turn in 25 assignments in his math class? Not his fault! The last string of 12 was because he was out the day they were assigned and the teacher was out when he went back and and and and.
Head, meet wall. Killin’ me over here.
Sometimes it’s both. I take too much responsibility for fixing anything in everyone else’s life and as a result don’t take responsibility for my own life. Tight Sun/Saturn square. Difficulties in seeing what I’m really responsible for due to being blamed constantly for things that were beyond my control.
With Venus, Mercury and Mars in Cap (sun in sag)when I was younger I felt responsible for everything going wrong in my life and everyone elses. It’s a kind of turning-in on oneself and beating oneself up (guilt, remorse, grief and so on). Nowadays its much better and I can choose what I take on, choose my responsibilities. Let go of other peoples stuff and now try to concentrate on me…can’t control other people…just myself 🙂
Oh I know those two types well….
I have seen many Moon in Capricorn people feel responsible for everything everything everything…. (Or those with Sun Saturn conjunct)
As for the teflon folks…. I heard a speech given by one once. And he said: “Always act as if a parade is being given in your honor.” He had committed a number of crimes (literally) and nothing stuck….. I don’t know anything about his chart though….
My friend and I are both of the “takes too much responsibility” type and we have talked about this part of ourselves and how to work to overcome it. I’m not sure what dynamic it may tie too – but we do both have rising signs around the Virgo Libra cusp and then Mars in the 10th.
I finally got my Capricorn Sun/Saturn conjunct lover to stop saying things like “This is reality.” My Capricorn Moon felt like I won an important battle–REALITY IS RELATIVE!
Or is it? Whatever…I’m responsible! Ugh. Must. Stop. Self. Torture.
I think I possess a healthy dose of “accountability”. I do try to see what my role was in any situation was and check myself accordingly. Moon in Capricorn.
Hah, my dad, the super responsible Capricorn and I, the never responsible and always defensive have been getting in fights all day. And we are blaming it on each other.
Haha! Dina–my dad is a Cap and I have cap moon and it is the opposite of you and your dad. My dad spends his life dodging the ball…well guess what?? I catch it, and throw it back at him till it hits him in the head. I’m the only one who stands up to him and forces him to be accountable. Even though it irks his nerves at the time, I know he respects me for it.
yep, I know these types well too 😉
I like Alison’s comment about choosing your responsibilities. I’ve found this to be key – being able to be responsible for your life and letting others be responsible for their lives. Amazing how much you can get done in your own life when you concentrate your energy on your own responsibilities…and how much you are appreciated for letting others do the same.
Funny though how these two opposites tend to pair up so often…I see it all the time 🙂
…’Teflon people’ fits this behavior perfectly.
Yep. My first husband was a Cap/Cap/Pisces and he was already a master at justifying the hell out of anything he wanted to do. Once we were in couples therapy and the topic of “owning your shit” was introduced, JACKPOT! He could still do as he pleased, and if it hurt me, well, that was my shit to deal with. He expanded the “your shit” philosophy to every single aspect of his life. Made him REAL popular at work and drove me to say ta-ta, asshole. He’s been through three marriages since. And I’m sure he hasn’t learned squat about personal responsibility in those fifteen years that have passed. But what am I doing, speculating about how he’s faring? That’s his shit. 🙂
Oh yes, I am very Saturnine and I do both of these things. To me, it’s all about being a control freak: you readily own up to the things you’re willing to take responsibility for and off-load the things you don’t want to take responsibility for. The idea that you might not be in total control of either situation is beyond comprehension.
Stephanie, nail-on-the-freakin’-head! Thank you! I have Sun-Saturn conjunct and a cardinal/fixed chart and what you wrote is perfect.
Now, how do I “fix” it?
SaDiablo: The Serenity prayer works wonders.