Saturn In Synastry (His Saturn Square My Mars, Mercury)

My husband has Saturn in hard aspect to my Mars Mercury conjunction. I used to write about this a lot. We had a lot of communication problems when we were kids. I just couldn’t seem to convey things to him.

Since I’m a talker, this was inordinately frustrating to me and desperately painful. It was painful because what I had to say was very important and ultimately, in my version of events, it is the reason we did not marry back then. I do remember lying in bed after he’d gone to sleep, whispering things to his back. He pointed out to me in 2003 that this would not be the most effective way to communicate and while he’s correct, I did this because all efforts to talk to him when he was awake had failed.

Saturn in synastry, particularly when it’s a hard aspect to the other person’s personal planets does thwart things. The Saturn person is the adult in the situation, or the control or the brake or the oppressor depending on how you want to see it. I saw it one way as a teenager, I see it another way now but the function between his chart and mine has not changed the least little bit.

Last night we were talking and I asked him if he remembered anything he said to me when we were teenagers. “I remember some things,” he said.

“What do you remember?”

“Saying, P, don’t say that! Don’t say that, P!”

Can you see Saturn there, oppressing my Mercury mouth?

“What did you not want me to say.”

“You want to go on a date with that girl!” he said in his P, shrieking voice. “Now, P, don’t say that. I do not want to go on a date with that girl,” he said calmly. “YES YOU DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! You want to got Christmas caroling with that bitch arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhgh. roooooaaaaaaaaaar” he said in my feigned, teenaged voice.

“Oh, well yeah.  I remember that.”

“And I kept saying, P, don’t say that. P, do not say that.  That is not true and I don’t want you saying that – it just isn’t true…”

So there you go. Saturn square someone’s Mars Mercury.

Do you have a hard Saturn aspect in your partnership? How does it play?

15 thoughts on “Saturn In Synastry (His Saturn Square My Mars, Mercury)”

  1. Avatar

    Elsa, you guys sure seems to have acted (mars) in things now, though delayed (Saturn) 🙂

    Does his Saturn make a different aspect to your mars/mercury in your progressed chart?

    I’m looking for how somethings change as we/our charts mature/progress 🙂

    If you don’t mind sharing that is ..

  2. Yes. My Saturn is exactly conjunct my partner’s Sun. (In my previous relationship, the person’s Saturn was conjunct my Moon).

    So, I have been on both sides of things. Knowing astrology coming into this relationship has been very helpful, and I see where I’ve been the brake for sure (I’m not ready to cohabit, for example).

    As I was telling my best friend a few nights ago, I realized very early on that my partner responded far quicker to encouragement than criticism (like many people) and I criticize him very little. I know with that Saturn/Sun it would be too easy to just squish his ego (this is Leo were talking about).

    His ego and his Leonine traits are such a source of joy and happiness for both of us; why would I want to squash it is my thinking?

  3. Avatar
    curious wanderer

    My ex and I were born just some months apart; I have Saturn conj. Moon and he has Saturn conj. Sun. Hence each other’s Saturns on top of those conjunctions.

    It’s a good thing we are no longer together, as we constrict each other in too many ways. Looking at it from this viewpoint, it’s amazing we made it as long as we did.

  4. His Saturn opposes my Mercury, and my Saturn(&Jupiter) squares his Moon/Jupiter

    I do fear talking to him about some things, but it’s getting better. I generally have a problem speaking my truth, so this doesn’t feel that oppressive to me.

    I hope I’m not Saturn squashing his emotions!

  5. These days, I like his Saturn where it is most times. I can still get horribly frustrated though. He simply doesn’t understand me at times. But I like what I have learned from him, about thinking. 🙂

  6. Also, his Saturn is conjunct my South Node, which creates an interesting dynamic at times.
    We learn a lot from each other.

  7. I’ve heard that usually a serious relationship has some sort of saturn interaction between the two people, My hubby’s saturn is squared to my sun and my saturn is squared to his sun. No one can have too big of an ego in this relationship I suppose. We do laugh a great deal together so this takes the edge of the seriousness.

  8. Albie and I have some hard Saturn stuff.

    I dig it. It makes me feel very secure. If I feel suffocated I just go out for coffee or whatever. I’ve got uranus, I know how to fly away for a bit.

  9. His Saturn (scorpio) conjuncts my Sun (also Scorpio) by 2 degrees. My Saturn (Pisces) squares his Mercury (Gemini) by 4 degrees. And yes he tends to want to control things. As far as communication goes, sometimes we do great, other times we have to work real hard. Even walk away from each other for a couple of hours before we can resume our talks.

  10. Both of us have Venus sq Saturn natally so we also have Venus sq Saturn in synastry – our Venuses oppose each other in synastry, which is fine, nice actually! But since we both have the aspect natally, I think it adds understanding to how the aspect plays out in synastry. I finally have learned to work with venus sq saturn natally and can do it now in this relationship.

    Our natal Virgo stelliums (Mars/Uranus/Pluto) are also conjunct but my Saturn opposes his stellium, his Saturn doesn’t oppose mine. Since I know as the Saturn, I could be restrictive of his vital dynamic energy. But since I understand his Virgo stellium because I have the same one, I don’t feel the need to control it. I understand it’s purpose.

    It’s actually quite beautiful if you think about it.

    Saturn is the glue, right? We have alot of glue – good glue 🙂

  11. a friend’s husband has his saturn square her moon – and his sun and uranus are also square her venus, mars, and true node. i’ve always suspected they were keeping up appearances and perhaps staying together and putting on a happy face for the sake of the kids. something about their partnership never felt genuine.

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