Today I was talking to someone, the conversation was so hard but very important to have. I sat there on my end of the phone feeling horrible as I tried desperately to communicate while being interrupted, challenged, deflected, defended against, taken off topic, etc.
“You should talk to me more,” he said.
“I can’t talk to you more, it’s so hard I can’t bear it. I can only talk to you every 3 months or so. Every 6 months would be even better because it’s just too hard… it’s too much to go through just to try to convey a simple bit of information, it’s just brutal.”
I was telling him the truth though I am sure he did not hear me. There are people (and you may be one of them) that make conversation unimaginably difficult. If you beat the shit out of someone who is trying to talk to you, of course they are not going to want to talk to you.
Are you easy to talk to? What qualities do you have that make this the case?
I used to be very difficult, but now I feel I am more flexible.
Toni, it used to be much harder to talk to me than it is now too. I had a hard lesson here. Some people just do not want to spar.
oh gah, I can’t spar at all. Sancho Panza said: whether the stone hits the pitcher or the pitcher hits the stone– it’s going to be bad for the pitcher.
I think I am. For some reason, I just love to contradict people. And I can tell as the words come out of my mouth that I shouldn’t be saying them, but then bleh…verbal puke. It’s like I can’t stop sometimes. But I do try to work on it, and have managed to get a little better. The quality in me that does this…I’m very competitive, even when people don’t realize I’m competing.
easier than it used to be. but still difficult. i’m not very talkative naturally.
i think i’m very easy to talk to – and people tell me this all the time, friends, strangers, kids, animals 🙂
Good listening helps make this the case. Some kind of open quality. Maybe it’s that YIN thing
You told me once, Elsa, that my moonpluto was so yin that others would fall into it…..
And i rarely want to spar (except with a boyfriend)
Put me down as someone who does not spar either, but I do listen.
My brother, his wife & kids are all so extremely competitive, I would rather beat myself over the head with a big stick than attempt to communicate with them.
Mercury in Scorpio on the 12th house side of my ASC.
moon pluto, I agree with the others. You stand out around here as someone who always reads carefully which is the same as listening.
Thank you but the way. Neith, you too. 🙂
Sometimes,lol. Random people talk to me and I listen all day at work. I like for them to tell me their story and I don’t tell them what to do or judge them. I find it totally interesting. When I am excited and having a conversation with close friends and family we tend to talk over each other. Sometimes this happens because stuff is popping in my head and I want to say it before I forget.
I have run into people who are hard to talk with, I usually shut up and go to my happy place,lol.
Normally, I think I can hold a conversation fairly well with people, and it’s usually easy for both sides.
The exception is that when someone comes at me with a verbal sledgehammer, I tend to want to respond these days with a verbal blowtorch. I’ve had a couple bullies within the past day or two who pushed me to the point of saying, “That’s it, I’m done!” and when I’m done with that kind of treatment, I don’t particularly care if they find me difficult or not. They can get over it, or they can deal with me.
People often tell me I am a good listener, and I often find myself on the listening end of their life story. I, however, do not think I am so easy to talk to…but that’s just my opinion. 😉
Thanks for saying so. Elsa.
Now I’m wondering what the astrology is.
Sort of an example: I remember visiting my 6 year old niece years ago; I felt totally exhausted by her verbal manipulations. Once, I even asked her father (my brother in law) how on earth to handle her– didn’t know how to communicate with someone who was so “twisted” in the way they communicated.
Can’t remember most of her chart, except that she’s cap sun with a 12th house cancer moon. And 7th house mars.
Oy vey. That’s it. 7th house MARS.
No offence to 7th house mars folks out there, but oh god do I find that placement intense!
This is one of the reasons why I’ve dropped certain people out of my life, the arrogance from some individuals out there can be simply blinding, and I don’t have the energy to get in to tons of arguments about their assumptions about me.
Amy S, you just took the words right out of my mouth!
Some people are so arrogant I want to slap them in their face! One “friend” thought nothing bothered me because I don’t talk a lot and kept blabbering negative things about me in front of my face, but when I shouted in his face about what bothered me he shut up! Some people are so dumb you have to shout in their face like a little kid to make them realize something!
I agree with you 100%.
I don’t really look at you if I’m talking to you, unless I’m angry – especially if you are an elder. (It’s a communication style from my family.) That can be disconcerting to people.
Someone said that is a native american thing but that was a generation ago… so I don’t know.
I had to tell my therapist it wasn’t an avoidant behavior haha.
I try to be a good listener. I don’t talk much and can keep a secret.
Jilly- that was interesting to me what you wrote. Sometimes I don’t look at who I’m talking to. I always thought it was just shyness but maybe there’s more to it for me (although I’m not Native American) — sometimes it’s almost as though the energy from looking into someome’s eyes is intense and distracting. Almost like too much information is given from looking straight on–
I think I’m too easy to talk to. Mostly because I’m super polite, I can’t stand to say when people are being obnoxious. But even people who don’t seem to like me will tell me way more about themselves than I think they mean to. I have Cancer rising.
I have mercury in taurus in 7th square uranus.
Saturn is in the third in sag. I don’t talk much except to my spouse and I dont have much patience for small talk. I don’t think I am easy to talk to because people don’t. I do like talking about astrology
Capricorn Mars in 3rd house Squaring Scorpio Pluto. Mercury conjunct Uranus (both in Sag.)
I’ve been told to many times I’m to intense when I communicate and how I talk to people is very unique or weird. I’m very honest but in a way you wouldn’t expect.
I have saturn in sagittarius. i think of myself as a flexible communicator – maybe my many placements in gemini aid in that. however my partner with saturn in virgo is a MESS to talk to: he attacks and turns almost any normal conversation into a fight! he hears only the parts that “could” piss him off and then builds up on that. i am thinking of leaving him and this one just may be the main reason. i feel a similar hostility when communicating with scorpios but i get that they do it just to play and provoke you.
I am a normally courteous and polite person to most everyone… But every time I have trouble trying to get my idea across, or go out of my way to do something, I am met with total disdain, and it always… I mean always.. turns out to be a Virgo.. or someone with heavy Virgo in their chart.. And it makes me wonder if they are this confrontational with everyone or just me..lol..They are a brick wall..
By the way.. it is a fact that there are more wealthy Virgos than any other sign.. Well I bet there is a big reason for that.. a self promoting one.!!