Saturn Square Pluto: Hard Core Transformation And Time To Regenerate: A Personal Story

Sorry I’ve been scarce. Nothing is wrong, I can tell you that. Matter of fact I don’t know that things have ever been “righter” in my life. A few things have happened.

One, I got married. This left me with a lot busy work changing my name and stuff. I am pretty through this or at least have things in process. Second, my ruling planet changed signs.

Some of you might not notice things like this but after a lifetime in astrology, and considering my ruling planet is Saturn, the shift is profound. It’s akin to a job change and while I can say – hey, I got married and it is hard to get more sat urn in Libra than that, the fact is the change is far more pervasive.

Part of this is just because it’s the way it is but Saturn’s square to Pluto makes this a much deeper shift in the paradigm and that much goes for all, sensitive or otherwise. In whatever case, partnerships are now a serious focus and I am seeing this (already) in my consulting.

I have long been aware I am in a “relationship” with each client and often mention this to the people I work with so they can get an new angle on how they interact with others. How they are with me = how they are with others and I bring this up on occasion.

For example someone may be concerned they are all jacked up while they simultaneously work beautifully with me which is very telling. If you can be in a relationship with me, then you can be in a relationship and I have no problem sharing with a person, my experience of working with them in a way that is clear and candid.

Back to the point, I have felt it necessary to slow things to allow myself to internalize this shift which I have said repeatedly I consider to be of extreme importance to every person on this planet and while I can see this expressing in one on one consultations I’ve not yet figured out how to broadcast it / blog it, but I will.

I will because Saturn is transiting my 9th house (publishing) but I’ve been a little slow on the uptake and I attributed this to Mercury in Scorpio.

With Mercury in Scorpio, the mind goes deep to penetrate.  While I have my best ideas while in motion, if I am looking for psychological insight, understanding, healing and like, I have learned to be still. I’ve written about this before. “Be Still Swamp Thing” comes to mind and I did have period like this last week when Mercury changed signs.

Most of you know I never watch TV. Having grown up without one, a TV has always been sort of a foriegn object to me, something noisy that other people like, except for rare exceptions and one of those occurred a few days back.

What happened is we had this extreme snow storm, the first of the season and Dora suffered some trauma because of it.

Seeing Dora traumatized, traumatized me and long story short she woke me up at 2 AM one night and I could not go back to sleep.  She was okay,  but I just couldn’t sleep with so much on my mind both high and low, never mind my feelings stirred.

I have to go to court… just various things and like I said, none of it is bad personally but I do work with a lot of people in crisis.  Iabsorb their problems to an extent, exchange energy with them so you could think of it like that as well… I have performed lots of transfusions lately, my blood for theirs so having been up all night I decided to stay in bed.

I wound up watching 22 episodes of a show in about a day and a half. Yep. The show was triggering for me but again, not in a bad way. It took me on a wild ride across a wide range of terrain during which someone (my sister) wanted to know wtf.  Because I was off the blog, see? Sort of.

I told her I was taking a day off, she was concerned so I told her pointedly that I do take a day off every 4-5 months. ::smiles::  She understood that of course… call it “Elsa is brooding,” I don’t give a shit.  The fact is sometimes a person has to REGENERATE.

So I am through this process now and back on the job behind the scenes but not quite ready to start dealing cards on this blog in earnest.   Simply put I just want some more quiet time or private (Pluto) time (Saturn) so I can finish this transformation.

Who can relate?

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45 thoughts on “Saturn Square Pluto: Hard Core Transformation And Time To Regenerate: A Personal Story”

  1. PS, many of you know I am blood donor. I am also a bone marrow donor (though I have never been called) and yesterday I updated the registry with my new name. Still committed.

  2. I can definitely relate to a need for processing time! no sense rushing these things. the end product comes out better if you let it develop in its own time.

  3. Wow, great to hear all of this, Elsa! It is a lot of work to change your name but also a really good, committed feeling. Congratulations! I have been feeling the Saturn-Pluto *stupendously* but you just reminded me that another piece of it is Mercury in Scorpio (always sets off my Mercury-Pluto), thank you. So what was the show you watched?! Dying to know. I also don’t watch TV but can get hooked on a show occasionally so it makes me think I might like it, too. I hope Dora is doing better, poor sweetie. Good luck with the continuing transformation and can’t wait to see what you deal out here.

  4. I have been feeling “quiet,” too.

    Although it has been happening more externally, perhaps it is because my ruling planet (Mercury) also changed signs last week. I’ve just noticed that I haven’t been thinking (Mercury) as much about relationships (Libra), although it has certainly been a big issue in my mind as of late.

    But I’ve also noticed that people aren’t calling me as much as they were when Mercury was in Libra: constant texting throughout the work day, all my friends online chatting with me, lots of social events. Now nobody is calling me or texting me, the internet seems to be dead, and I have the quiet time, free from social obligation that I have been seeking for months!

  5. i sem to have a need for it, too… but i haven’t developed a healthy way to make it a regular pattern. either i get sick or when my pressure slows down for a bit i drop everything…

  6. Elsa,that sounds like a thoroughly healthy thing to do, we call it a duvet day, and every now and then it’s just so gooooood to do that…somehow the world keeps spinning anyway…to me all of your words speak of a deeper inner calm despite the exterior storm, despite the restless night thoughts..maybe I’m wrong, but to me you sound serene.

  7. “Now nobody is calling me or texting me, the internet seems to be dead, and I have the quiet time, free from social obligation that I have been seeking for months!” Me too, Caroline. I thought maybe it was just me.

    Good for you for taking some down time, Elsa.

  8. Elsa, your work is so public, a pulling back day every 4 months or so is a given, no?? I like ” a duvet day..”-nice.

    I have always considered NEPTUNE to be ruler of Pisces, not Jupiter. With Neptune changing direction and a Saturn return (in Libra) I am also feeling profound shifts in how I wish to relate to the world at large.

    As in, NOT.

    I am in a pulling back phase too..

    Many baby boomers are having this Saturn return.. how many of us are moving INWARD and pulling BACK from all the OUTWARD pull on our sensitivities!

    It’s an interesting time of re-invention for many of us…

  9. Madeline, that was so well expressed, thank you for verbalising some of what this baby boomer Pisces with Saturn in Libra natally is definitely feeling.

  10. I like what you said above abt your clients in relationship with you.

    Pulling back. I can relate. And not quite coming out of it yet. I just had Saturn on Moon and Pluto and was hoping that Saturn square (T) Pluto would just happen without my noticing. I was wrong!

    I want to listen more and speak less.

  11. You donate blood? I try but I always fail for the iron test. That discourages me. I won’t go again for a year or two. Then I’ll try again, maybe donate once. Get turned down several times again. Do you have any problem with iron tests? Any tips?

  12. I am a nurse (retired!) and I have read some studies that states there is a large DROP in incidence in STROKE in people who donate blood every 6 months.

    I would like to say I am only altruistic, but for health reasons for ME, too,I DONATE BLOOD!

    It’s good for you,me,everyone!!!!!!

  13. falconbridge, I don’t know. I have heard horror stories of people trying to give blood… I appear to be born for it. I can fill the bag in 5 minutes, I call it “speed bleeding” – mars mercury, see?

    I think if you can’t do it, don’t do it and don’t worry about it.

  14. PS: to increase you iron, besides the obvious of eating more meat, try RAISINS, PEANUT BUTTER, BEANS, and eat these with some Orange juice or a good Vit. C supplement at the same time–helps the iron get absorbed…

    ALSO–read your CEREAL labels and always choose cereals like the TOTAL brands that have the extra iron!


  15. Elsa, Best wishes to the bride! I also grew up without TV and don’t like it in the least. Thanks for a wonderful post! All the best, Monica Starr

  16. Ah! yes. Saturn, i totally forgot. Today is my venus return too. and things are so great ( my venus is in libra ).. I adopted a kitten yesterday, which was really random because my roommate was just like,”Wanna go to the animal shelter?”… since her cat passed away not long ago.. I didn’t see it coming at all, haha.
    Saturn is at zero degrees Capricorn in my chart. I’d love to know if the degree would matter at all. Anyway, it is my chart ruler seeing as capricorn is my ascendant. Very interesting, I’ve never really considered this before.

  17. I am most certainly feeling the energy of all these transits and yes, all I want to do is sleep. Somehow, insomnia is creeping up between school, two jobs, and all kinds of interpersonal jugglings. Taurus full moon was very intense for me.

    I just cannot seem to slow down or turn inwards, although this is what I really want and need to be doing right now: cook some good meals, sleep, clean and organize my home, catch up on my assignments, have some creative time, meditate…

    Ah well – the impending winter may have something to do with it. Were hitting -6 C tonight…Agh 🙁

  18. I can relate. Saturn just moved into my 3rd house and is squaring my sun so I’ve been freakishly self-disciplined and serious-minded, a refreshing change to my usual slacking off. It’s a shift.

    I’m glad you’re regenerating. Can’t wait for what you have to share.

  19. i can’t tell you how surprised i was that saturn’s shift from virgo to libra was so obvious and abrupt. for me (a virgo w cap rising) a sense of ease returned. my friend (a libra) just left her boyfriend of seven years. drastic shifts.

    my signfiicant other (a cap) and i seem to have switched places – now he’s stressed and i’m calm.

  20. Definitely a non-negotiable and vital part of life – off time, doing nothing time. I tend to get sick right around the time I need this time off from daily life. The bonus part is that it reminds me I am most certainly not immortal… I become a little more patient with my body and mind. Saturn going into libra is also a big shift in energy for me, as I have a few planets in libra and saturn rising.

  21. I ssed to be consumed with horrible guilt for taking this time off, but no one ever should. It’s a little like giving yourself permission to say no, as Elsa mentioned a few days ago.

  22. Jilly, I wasn’t on the computer for a few days and wasn’t here to tell you I’m so sorry you lost your mom. You’re one of my favorite Elsa-ites, and you’re in my thoughts. Happy regeneration.

  23. I can definitely get into my Hermit days. I don’t want to take any calls or see anybody. Just want to be quiet in my home…..I love those days…..I take in so much from the outside that it is the only way for me to recharge my battery.

  24. “…but not quite ready to start dealing cards on this blog in earnest.”

    That is one of the most perfect metaphors for what you do here that keeps your audience captive! We can certainly appreciate that this kind of skill requires beauty sleep now and again.


  25. You bet i can relate! Sun in gemini in 7th square Moon-Saturn in 3rd natally. It´s all about being out and relating and interaction versus retreating and regenerating and being afloat in a silent room all alone. If I were you, I´d take every second day off or i´d feel overcrowded. The sheer amount of work you´re doing everyday, inside and out, would get me all exhausted by midweek! So for my part I´m very fine with you taking off times, and i sure hope you´ll continue doing that in just the frequency you might need.

    Also – i´m a blood donor too, have been for 27 years, and a very “speedy” one at that, my blood just spurting out of the veins like an oil well. It has always been like that, but i´d never connected it to Mars-Mercury (conjunct with Jupiter, opposite Neptune – a joyous donor!?. Interesting!

    Love, Kundrie

  26. This touches on things I’ve been thinking a lot about lately and for some time. Until a couple of years ago, I had a job in a firm with a 70-hour-a-week culture. It was a total macho sham perpetrated by the owner and his most senior guy (who I actually had a very good working relationship with and liked a lot but thought this whole attitude was silly). The sham part was not so much their lack of dedication to the work as prioritizing the amount of time they worked over the quality of what they achieved. I can’t do that and I’ve been thinking for some time that we can’t do this as a society. I was reminded of this the past week when a lot of stuff going on caused me to have to go back into a brief short amount of sleep cycle and suddenly my short term memory was shot and I couldn’t write anything worth a damn. It’s just not in my nature – I have to regenerate on a daily basis, returning to the Plutonian dark. Good things come out of there, too, as well as bad. Maybe I’m a Borg 😉

    Elsa, it’s amazing to me how much you turn out in terms of both high quality and quantity without more “regeneration time.” For me, one is definitely a function of the other.

  27. “Elsa, it’s amazing to me how much you turn out in terms of both high quality and quantity without more “regeneration time.”

    zillah, thanks for noticing. I am probably the most efficient transformer of energy you will ever meet in your life. It is almost like being a savant. Or maybe it is exactly like being a savant, I don’t know.

  28. Elsa, you must be a savant, I have to have that kind of time alone to regenerate at least once a week…I couldn’t imagine having to wait once every 4 months!

  29. I registered as a donor last night after reading this post.

    I too am amazed at how little regeneration time you need. In case you have a tutorial I’d be interested :-).

  30. Jilly, yes it is a born skill but I have honed the living shit out of it due necessity when I was younger and desire later in life.

  31. Fascinating, Elsa – I always feel like I’m the power station that’s supporting a whole bunch of sub-stations and that I don’t have access to other resources. I’m just somehow the power source, so there’s nothing else for me to draw on but me. It feels like a foreign concept that there’s the possibility of channeling it from somewhere else, but I get that you do that, and you do it amazingly. I’m sure you know I DON’T mean to suggest that you are taking advantage of anyone else – definitely the opposite!!

  32. Elsa,

    If not too personal, what’s your blood type? I’m O- which means the donor center wants to drain me dry :-). I donate platelets as well and happen to have a very high count so again, they can suck a boatload of platelets from a small amount of blood. It’s a bit of a rush the way they remove your blood, then return it at room temperature.

    I’m curious if other donors, specifically Scorpio donors experience what I do relative to blood loss. Not sure if it’s my imagination but I derive a certain strength from donating my blood.

    It’s like a miniature death and the aspect of regenerating the lost blood is a very powerful experience for me. I’m never fatigued and work out at the gym just as hard. I’ve known people that won’t donate because they believe it’ll weaken then however it seems to strengthen me.

    Curious, huh?

  33. I cannot give blood either 🙁 I went to Haiti when I was a child and there’s this “rule” with the company that receives blood not to accept blood from people that have been to Haiti in the 80’s…. because at that time, Haitians were ‘known’ to have AIDS!!!!!?!!

    I know it’s just weird and wrong but that’s their rule! And I was 5 years old when I went to Haiti but I still apply to this ‘rule’! Weird..

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