I know people who never, ever, spread their pain around. Clearly, they have pain. All kinds of calamities fall on people like this and they never reach out and smear you with it. Somehow they manage to carry their burden without forcing others to pay along with them.
I admire this and I can’t believe how hard it is for me to emulate this behavior. I’ll give you an example scenario so we’re talking about the same thing here.
Let’s say someone breaks a promise. As a result, you suffer some kind of indignity or other cost. Maybe it’s money. You’re going forgive the person, for whatever reason. Family? Close friend? Because you know they have a good or a good enough reason.
The challenge is to forgive the person without any added commentary. To be able to say, “No problem” rather than something like, “No problem, but it caused me X and cost me Y.”
It’s not like I don’t have the ability to behave properly. I can and I often do but sometimes it’s inordinately difficult. At the root of it, at least in my case, it’s self-interest, causing the problem, along with a willingness to sacrifice the other person to some degree.
Here’s another example: I go to the doctor and complain about the other doctor! Like he can do anything about it? Like he needs this weight placed upon him?
That butter is me, getting ready to spread my pain around! It’s mortifying and it has to stop!
This is a good topic for Mars in Libra square Pluto in Capricorn. Taking control of shadow behavior in relationships.
Are you familiar with this? Do you have any negative behaviors in relationship, you might address?