She’s Inordinately Honest Except For When She Lies

kramerDear Elsa,

I’ve always thought of myself as a very honest person. My opinion is always the honest one, and I’m not one to mince words to spare the feelings of others. Someone’s going to tell them the truth eventually anyway so it might as well be me! So then why is it that I compulsively lie to my significant other in times of uncertainty or defensiveness??

He really caught me off guard with something this afternoon, and I immediately made the situation so much worse by lying about it. Eventually I got around to telling the truth, but the damage is done. And this is not the first time I’ve lied in such a knee-jerk fashion… I just wish I could get a grip!

Leo Girlfriend
United States

Dear Girlfriend,

This is a really good question and one that astrology can handle succinctly. Your chart does show a primarily honest person, bold and blunt as you describe. But Mercury rules communication and yours is in aspect to Neptune which gives the ability to obscure things (lie) at times, so there you go. But you’re not doomed. Aware of this propensity / ability you need only find an alternative way to express this energy and you should be home free.

Now Mercury is innately tricky and Neptune rules illusion and nuance so check out one of the ways Meryl Streep’s uses her Mercury / Neptune combo:

I saw Streep interviewed years ago and she was talking about the movie, Kramer vs Kramer for which she won an Oscar. The movie is about a couple divorcing – There is a child involved and Streep stated that she makes up (Neptune) some fact (Mercury) about every character she plays. Something that is not in the script that only she knows about the character. She feels this gives her performance something extra and I agree.

So in the beginning of this movie Streep is in an elevator waiting to go down having words with Dustin Hoffman who she is about to divorce. And she stated that during the scene she was thinking the thing she had made up for this role which was the fact, the woman never loved the man. Big difference, huh?

So Hoffman is saying his lines and she is saying hers but guess what? She never loved him in the first place and no one knows this but her. Can you see how this is the same energy? I hope you can but if you learn to use your ability in this type way, not only will you not be hurting yourself, your life will be enhanced.

Good luck.

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10 thoughts on “She’s Inordinately Honest Except For When She Lies”

  1. Aw, I totally know what Leo is going through.

    One of the things I had to learn to do was to short-circuit my panic response. When I’m talking to someone and the sirens go off and a lie gets all ready to come out, I just clamp down and hold still… even them asking me why I’m just sitting there quiet like a moron is better than me letting go of that lie.

    When you’re really invested in someone, that makes you vulnerable… when you have something to lose, THAT’s when you cover things up. All you need from that person is a few instances of them seeing the bad parts of you and still loving you for that impulse to decrease significantly.

    (The bit about Meryl Streep is fascinating acting advice, and I seriously need to keep that one in mind…)

  2. My beloved sun-moon-merc pisces man has merc sqr jup. His compulsive lying was a big big issue for a long time. He says that he does not WANT to lie, it just automatically comes out when he is caught off-guard, before any kind of conscious thinking even occurs. I learned to broach touchy panic-inducing issues slowly, speak my thoughts, and clearly state that I don’t want an answer or even a response right away, that I just want him to think about what I said for a while. Intentionally giving him time to get clear inside his own head has helped so much. Perhaps you could ask your SO to work with you in this way?

  3. Wow this is all really just insightful and I’m very glad I came here with my problem.. I like what ewinbee says about short-circuiting my panic response. That goes hand in hand with my inclination to broach a sensitive issue over text messages, rather than face to face or on the phone. I like to take lots of time to determine EXACTLY what I’m feeling about a particular subject, so later I’m not thinking about it saying to myself, “now why’d I say THAT? That’s definitely not what I feel, damn my mouth beat my brain to the punch again..”
    I don’t understand the acting advice though, really.. Ha I mean I could see how it would make for a better performance, but all I’m trying to do is be honest and it seems like being the only one who knows I’m being honest doesn’t really help.. 🙁 I don’t know.

    1. She was a bitch because she married him even though she didn’t love him. I think the fact that she inserted that into her character was brilliant. And, I love the title of this Blog piece, it made me LOL before I even read it!

      1. @dog8818, and it was probably why he cheated, because he knew she didn’t love him. not saying that it’s right to do that either, but a man or woman who feels no love would look elsewhere. Although why marry her if he knew deep down she didn’t love him?? looks like both are in the fault. they each had “uses” for eachother and suffered.

  4. WOW! That is so cool. When it is said, “What you say is what becomes” maybe folks with this type of aspect can be better at making reality ‘shift’? And if you’re gonna shift it, always shift it to MORE LOVE.

  5. I can also that Neptune (pisces) doesn’t want to hurt anyones feelings or make them feel bad in any way so I know I would lie to keep from hurting someones feelings.

    1. watergal: I could totally understand telling a white lie to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. (‘The fruitcake was great, grandma!’) That might be Neptune or it might be Venus in Libra.

      But this line: So then why is it that I compulsively lie to my significant other in times of uncertainty or defensiveness??

      That’s something else. My ex- used to do exactly that. Lie right to my face. And I’d know she was doing it. Of course, she did that with a bunch of people closed to her. She told me at the end that she ‘compartmentalized’.

      It didn’t hurt my feelings after awhile (because the lies were usually unimportant), it was just mystifying.

      [‘I guess insecurity does that to people.’]

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