Should A Woman Chase A Man?

Venus, Cupid and MarsA client asked me about chasing men. I told her that I don’t, I wouldn’t and I never have.

Now granted, I have a yin chart and she did not. I mentioned this but I distinctly remember announcing this when I was 19-ish: “I do not chase men!” The whole idea was and still is abhorrent to me. It makes my skin crawl.  Who the is this man, that I’m supposed to campaign for him?

I suppose this may be considered, old-fashioned but I think it’s just a blip in time where people think women fare well chasing men.   I don’t think they fare well at all… over time.

You may chase a man and get the man but three weeks later or three years later, some gal who does not chase men walks by… his head turns and there he goes, following her like a dog. Then what do you have for your trouble?

It’s the Capricorn in me, I guess. I will invest in substance. And my Libra. I will commit to someone who is committed to me. If someone is interested in me, I may be interested in them but hell with freeze over before I chase a man, even one inch.

People rarely value that which is handed to them.  Sputter if you like. Some things never change.

Do you have a policy when it comes to courting?

55 thoughts on “Should A Woman Chase A Man?”

  1. I chased men for years and years (go-getter energy with sun square mars, Aries fifth house, and mars in the 8th + pining for unrequited love with my neptune hard aspects/many absent-father experiences)…

    What a waste of my time. Literally years. Got lots of dating/chasing practice!

    I remember reading a well-known dating book in my late 20s which advised against chasing men. I threw it to the bin, cursing aloud. ‘I’m a feminist I’d say (still am)

    More years of chasing men. More unfulfilling experiences.

    Then I changed and read the book again and in fact read more of its two authors’ books. The book was ‘The Rules.’

    Stopped chasing men and focussed on deciding which ones I liked amongst the ones who chased me.

    My love life vastly improved. Vastly.

    I see it this way (and I am quite yang):

    * men are hunters and appreciate what they worked hard to get

    * if I liked a guy (I’m married now) I would try to be appealing (looks, body language, energy from my Scorpio rising/mars in the 8th) and show interest with a gaze. If he didn’t come I’d lick my wounds from the rejection and moved on, slowly or quickly.

    I think there was also, in my chasing men, a Neptune element of denial around my painful feelings of rejection, and also plain vanity (good looks and Venus trine mars.)

    * by letting the man chase me in the initial phases I knew where I stood with them. Much better for my emotional needs.

    Once I stopped chasing men I realised some never ever made the effort to chase me. Dead end. Lots learned.

    I once read a quote from actress Sharon Stone, many many years ago. It stuck with me. ‘Women can fake orgasms but men can fake whole relationships.’

    That quote links, in my opinion, to Elsa’s words ‘You may chase a man and get the man but three weeks later or three years later, some gal who does not chase men walks by… his head turns and there he goes, following her like a dog.’

    Other great relationship books helped me understand that chasing (my natural drive – I’m a woman with seven planets in the element of air/masculine/yang, including moon, mars, mercury and venus -) didn’t get me to the goal of partnering successfully.

    The books are: ‘He’s just not that into you’, ‘Getting to I do’, and ‘Mars and Venus on a Date.’

    I would add ‘The Evolution of Desire which is on the anthropology of human mating. Great stuff. Hard to digest as a yang woman yet realistically accurate.

    My husband has Venus in Aries so I do a bit of chasing in our relationship. Hehe. He says he’s okay with it 🙂

    In general chasing men doesn’t work. I believe in some rare cases it would work well.

    Luckily I realised I wasn’t in that minority group. Hehe.

  2. I tend to be the aggressor when it comes to courting. It’s never really worked out for me, though. When they chase me, it’s better but, that almost never happens. I figure I’ll stumble across love one day out of blind luck. Until then, I’m single…

  3. Let’s start with a weird combo here: Sun in Cancer, Cap Asc, Venus conj Mars in Leo 7th house, 8th house Lilith in Libra, Moon conj Pluto 9th house and 5th house Jupiter in Gemini. When I fall for a man, it is apparent all over my face even though I use my poker face. Thus, I flirt a lot, I can be audacious at times. If he gets scared by my intense Scorpionic energy, I don’t even go further. I have found out that banter goes a long way. The aim is to make him think that it was his idea and I just show up with my funny self.

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