Am I Single Due To Karmic Punishment?

Dear Elsa,

I have been in a single state for many years now. Partly through wanting to be but more lately just finding that I don’t meet ANYONE. It’s starting to feel like I’m being karmically punished. Now I’m not
the greatest socialiser – I admit I don’t get out there hunting men. I do however go about my day to day life and you’d think after a while you might meet someone, just by the law of averages? I’ve moved around a lot for work in the last few years, the background of my life is constantly changing but has appeared to be empty of potential mates.

Is it me or what?

Lost and wandering in the love desert

Dear, Lost.

It is you, in that you’re the only one involved. But I don’t mean that in a blaming way and I definitely don’t think this has to do with karma or punishment, at all.

With a stellium in Scorpio in the 10th house, your chart shows a formidable person with tremendous power and authority. Your power is fixed, like a fortress. It’s easy to see how you could find yourself in these circumstances. I doubt you’re that easy to approach!

Luckily, this can be overcome pretty easily, which may surprise you. Once you see what others see, you can alter the situation. This is especially true with a chart like yours, so full of promise and prowess.

The trick is to make yourself more approachable.  I am not talking about dumbing yourself down. This is not necessary!  You’re quite magnetic, as is. But I do imagine you come across as a closed loop. This intimidates. As attracted as a person might be, my guess is that you’re difficult, if not impossible to access.

To remedy this, you don’t have to hunt. You only have to leave a door open.

The possible sticking point here, is that you focus on fear of rejection, an inability to trust and various things of that nature.  You can potentially choose this and harm and thwart yourself. You can become a ball of pathology, but you can also opt to use this information, keenly and cleanly.

You’re naturally, effective. I’m pretty sure you see yourself in what I’ve written. If you’re willing to use your skills to change this scenario, I think you’ll be able to do it. This can be as simple as changing your body language. You need a tweak, not an overhaul. The change can be subtle.

I say this with confidence: if you can recognize that you’re unapproachable, and change this, I think you’ll find yourself living a very different life.  The prospect is exciting!

Good luck!

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13 thoughts on “Am I Single Due To Karmic Punishment?”

  1. Sound advice. That letter could have been written by me a few times in my life. I felt exactly the same way, thought exactly the same thoughts; could not figure out what was wrong. And then with some wise advice from a new friend at that time, I changed tack. I went looking, I opened a door, I widened my net too, held my arms as wide open as I could to what might come. I also maintained a discerning element, so that there was at least a sort of filter operating for any possible ‘detritus’ (love that word!) that might float through.
    And it worked.
    I wish your client well; it will happen.

      1. That is exactly what she has, Kate. Stellium in Scorp, top of chart – Moon saturn in Leo on the desc and Aquarius rising.

        She has Taurus too, so you see the Fixed situation here – it’s extreme. But there is no way this woman goes unnoticed!!

  2. I dunno on the “approachable” thing. Is she actually seeing any men that she’s interested in and they’re just not asking (if so, then that might be the issue), or is she just not meeting anyone that she wants to ask her out?

  3. I had to put a screen on my window to filter what gets in. 😀 Too open was not necessarily a good thing either.

  4. I can totally relate AND validate your advice! I am a Taurus Sun with Pluto Rising in Scorpio! and I experienced for years what this person has, and I had to exactly as you advised… open myself up more & Recognize how unapproachable & intimidating I appeared… it changed my life when I learned my own astrology & the vast difference from the way it was to where it is now is remarkable! It is actually quite simple once you acknowledge your own energy

  5. I can really relate too (Scorpio rising, Taurus moon). I feel doomed that my fear of trust will forever win in the battle to open up to someone I’m actually attracted to (on the very rare occasion that happens). The Scorpio in me runs deep… It trumps the weaker planetary influences. I’m attractive, yet shun attention. How messed up is that….? Unapproachable? Yep! The only time I’m different (outgoing, open) is when I’m in a group. Hmmm…

  6. Completely recognize myself in this. Been alone for ages. not so intimidating, but I am unapproachable. Scorpio Ac, Moon, Uranus rising; Venus-Saturn out of sign opposition. trying to be more open to new people and experiences, but its not easy at all.
    btw, great picture, that’s Golubac fortress in Serbia.

  7. Avatar
    James Slattery

    You are exactly right. I have Jupiter and Neptune in Scorpio (Asc rulers) in the 8th square a Leo stellium in the 6th. People who have seen me in action have used your very words! I had NO idea I came across like this. I do have a bad habit of crosiing my arms across my chest especially when sitting. lol

  8. Avatar
    Alone but not lonely

    I’m a Sun in Libra very out going but I did my chart and I have Scorpio in Venus an Mercury· I have been single for ten yrs an I’m not sure why· I get asked out attract a great deal men because I’m friendly· I can’t seem to make a real love connection what I want an need· What can I do?

  9. I have a stellium in Scorpio (unfortunately), moon in Aquarius (unfortunately) and loads more planets in unfortunate signs. I have never been able to attract a man I like in my life (other than for friendship) and at the tender age of 38 and looking great + in a stable job, I just think it must be a karmic punishment. Apparently Scorpio and Aquarius are karmic backlog signs and I can’t disagree on that one…luck seems against me big time.

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