Synastry Aspects Which Signal Obsession


Have you ever met someone and been caught up right away? This is my style, with Uranus in my 7th house but there are other instances where an obsession develops; some of these situations can last years. I know this from personal experience.

There are classic signatures for this, such as Venus or Mars in one chart, aspecting Pluto in the other, but in practice, it’s not always that straightforward.  For example, the aspects mentioned can easily keep far enough apart, nothing develops.

I maintained an obsession with someone for nearly fifteen years. I did not feed this thing, but it persisted in my psyche until I one day, I snapped. I had to, because this was hindering my growth.

I’m surprised this hasn’t happened to me more often. My chart shows the potential for it, with a packed 8th house and Venus square Neptune which is capable of yearning ’til the cows come home.  But there has only been this one time.

I got curious about the cross-aspects. Oddly, I’ve never looked at this before. It was a bit surprising. This person has a Moon, Venus, Neptune T-square in Cardinal signs that lies on top the angles of my chart. *Click.

They also have Mars in Scorpio squaring my Venus which would be classic, and while this is generational, the person’s natal Pluto conjoins my 7th house Uranus.

I think these aspects explain the instant attraction but what about the way it endured?  It has to be due to the Capricorn / Saturn factor, which is there, in spades.

Have you ever experienced a significant obsession with another person? What was going on between the charts?

20 thoughts on “Synastry Aspects Which Signal Obsession”

  1. Yup!

    Pluto-Satirn in 8th house. Obsession and durability is my shadow….

    Also, my partner’s Sun (which in itself is a Leo thing) is close to my north node in – tada h the the 5th house.

    I am like one of those fish in an aquarium, that has its moth glued to the glass wall of it. I can’t let go, and it’s no help that his Moon is conjunct my Saturn/Pluto in 8th house. There is a feeding/obsessive compulsion going on here, I am sure.

    His Rx Venus in the 6th is opposite his Neptune in 12th, so there are definitely something there, in his own chart. I know he has had two girls, one in his workplace, and the other during university, whom he had secret crushes on in like forever (several years), but was rebuffed both times that he admitted his feelings to them. Must be his Venus square with Saturn/Mars conjunct in Virgo.

    His Venus is opposite my own Neptune, and the pair is quinqunx my Chiron in Taurus. I need to be careful to not let my yearning hurt me and bring down my self worth, as our Venuses are quincunxing as well.
    But I am not sure it is even possible to actually STOP this process of yearnings and hurting… How can a person snap out of that, if Chiron is involved? How can you use that energy to ‘get around’ or transform/transmute this energy, Elsa? Any advice or experience with these things?

    1. “Obsession and durability is my shadow” love this! I’m that generation too! we’re supposed to be very ‘relationship oriented’ – our mission to put a lot into relationships and to find the ‘other’ also willing to do so? Imagine the nodes would be pretty powerful too! as past life related? ‘moon-pluto’ deep and intense … And I’d imagine chiron could have a place at the table!! any strong aspect from saturn outwards!!?

      1. We have a pretty amount of contacts to Chiron. His being opposite my Scorpio Mercury, and my Venus-Jupiter-Sun Scorpio stellium is sextiling his Saturn-Mars conjuction in Virgo.
        His conjunction is also in his 8th house, so yup, deep shit and deep healing.
        But the real thing could come from the quincunxing Venuses, which needs and also kinda ‘repulses’ (see Satori’s post on this aspect likening it to a seasaw) but is drawn to each other endlessly due to the very different nature of each sign (scorpio-gemnini).
        The possible creative solution is what drives us together but starts with a bang, then goes on to slowly finding a solution which fits us both).

        My Cap Mars + Souuth Node is sextile his Jupiter in Virgo as well, so could be a beneficial contact from past lives I guess?

        At least – Saturn sticks, and Pluto glues together like a suction ball 😉

  2. Yes. I knew the guy since childhood, so I didn’t exactly get caught up right away. But as soon as he showed a speck of interest in me when I got to high school, that was it for me. My obsession only grew over the next 10 years, and then fully detaching myself took a bit longer. He has Mars conj my Dsc (in Capricorn). His Venus conj my Saturn. His Mercury/Saturn opposed my Sun. Our fire moons were trine. His moon conj my midheaven/NN. My sun conj his midheaven/NN. Scorpio with Leo rising and Aries moon.

  3. After a sense of familiarity upon first meeting I was obsessed for years with a man whose Sun was conjunct my 7th house Pluto/Vertex conjunction. And decades later another man whose Mars, Venus, Mercury, and Chiron stellium conjunct my 7th house Uranus, South Node, and Descendant. Wonder if progressions or transits play a role in the timing of initial contact and eventual disengagement?

    1. progressions were the first thing that came to my mind! … and it’s surprising what a run of different ‘good progressions’ two charts in synastry can have!! which could keep an obsession/ crush going just like an actual relationship!? Paul Westran in his book, ‘when star’s collide’ researches synastry progressions in depth.

  4. I recently contacted an astrologer who had a post on ‘Surviving Pluto Transits, where she wrote ‘a Capricorn man may overwhelm, dominate, attempt to take over, interfere with family ect’ I was gobsmacked as I have this man living next door. I wrote asking if she could see an end to this.I said I had no third house planets, yet he reminds me of my brother’s behaviour towards me, until I could flee. She wrote that I have Juno in the 3rd, and Juno is about agreement, and also the need to be free. She said Mercury in Cap is quincunx Juno, and Uranus is sextile, so it is a pattern – yes there have been other neighbours who become obsessed. I am not an astrologer, however this explanation gave me some comfort, ie I signed up for it and it is not just random. I still don’t really know the purpose, and the guy next door is still throwing himself at me and anyone who comes on my property, even though I have yelled at him that he has no place in my life – he refuses to see it that way. The reason I wrote this is that there may be other factors besides Pluto that induce obsessions.

    1. Why would you say you signed up for it? Destined or fated perhaps, but don’t blame yourself, just take a harder line if you really want to stop it. Tell the neighbor that you’ve retained legal help to file a complaint or a restraining order.

      1. Thank you Warped. I have been through the self blame, however I decided that I had nothing to do with the immoral and totally ego driven behaviour that I have had to witness. I am still working on my strategy to expose the Cap next door, and am getting there. I don’t think I can obtain legal help as he lives next door, and can dispute- saying he is just the friendly neighbour and that I am ‘crazy’ – this seems to work in suburban areas. He has pushed me too far, and one way or another, I will see an end to it.

        1. Regardless of whether you can get legal help, usually just telling someone that you have done so is enough to scare them. A letter from a lawyer would do even more. You can also post No Trespassing signs, install a tall privacy fence or a thorny hedge, a motion activated flood light or alarm, etc.

          1. Thank you Warped, I had the tallest privacy fence erected 2 years ago, and it was stealth mission. I instructed the fencer to come a few millimetres inside my land, did not inform creepy neighbour, paid deposit ect, so the fencer had to go through with it, as I knew neighbour would try to obstruct, which he did. That was the beginning of the end of his reign. Recently I confronted his wife and asked her ‘don’t you have any pride?’ I knew she was aware of his behaviour and did nothing- he was out of her hair. I am writing this today as I am feeling so happy, they finally sold (think I got to the wife). Sadly he owns the property next to him and had divided the large blocks into 4, and was back the next day to my horror, but he cannot get to me anymore, in the same way, and I wanted to thank you, as a male,(?) and you obviously care. I feel he will go over the edge one night and I can have him arrested as a stalker. But even though I can hear him now banging around next door, he doesn’t live in the house, and I feel my sanity and natural joy creeping back to me. I got thru a very abysmal time, and it has been years, but with the support of professionals, and a few friends, and common sense people such as yourself and of course God, spirit, holding onto hope and faith.

            1. Glad things are improving. Actually, I’m a woman. Remember, you didn’t sign up for anything, we don’t choose our charts. God must have His reasons, but they are not for us to know, only to accept if possible however grudgingly while we hold tightly to faith and gratitude for His blessings.

  5. Avatar
    Sirena Oceana

    Haha, definitely. I am prone to this. Venus trine Neptune on my South Node and Venus opposite Pluto and Saturn. 8th house Sun/Moon. Til the cows come home is right.
    I’ve snapped a few times. It comes back.

  6. I have venus square pluto.

    If I’m obsessed, I have to dig deep, uncovering everything I possibly can until there is no more. Sometimes I just give up for no reason, only to go back randomly when I stumble across that person again.

    I have a lot of 11th house/Aquarian/Uranian stuff in my chart, and I know that if I had the discipline to hack the internet, I would be relentless and brutal in stalking my obsession. Sounds scary, but I don’t have malace, it’s just a obsession with knowing all there is, only to have all this knowledge and realize… it serves no purpose. My curiosity is satisfied and the obsession is dead to me. Next…

    1. Have you seen, You”, which is the series the pic comes from. You may find it interesting / horrifying, but either way, it’s on topic.

  7. Yes I was obsseed,for many many years.
    It was a TwinFlame attraction.
    But many of our planets had exact conjunction or trine ,with 2* degree s or less.
    Pluto conjunction Mars in Leo ,which is my rising sign
    With 1* degree something.
    Gemini Moon sextile Mars .
    And Moon Trine Venus Exact aspect.
    But one day, I just snapped,after 13 years…

  8. Avatar
    constance Walsh

    SATURN in SEVENTH House in Taurus composit with Beloved.
    “You’re stuck with me, Babe!”
    It ended a lifetime of obsessional love for me.
    Our Saturn is CONJUNCT PART OF FORTUNE! Stability and
    love ongoing, at last.

    Thanks Elsa!

  9. Oh goodness yes. It’s the only way I’ve ever operated with attraction/relationships/crushes. Either I’m into you in a very focused committed way or I just don’t have the time of day for you. With my current relationship it’s the strongest I’ve ever felt and I think it’s due to my moon opposite his Pluto with a lot of other sprinkles on top. In the first few years it was almost like a hobby to learn every single thing about him. It was my brains favorite function.

  10. Yes I am very prone to obsession and the torture that is limerence. One I didn’t think I’d survive (he had a lot of Scorpio). I have Venus Neptune mixed up with Saturn. I no longer have the chart info of the last guy because strict No Contact and complete elimination of the person from my life is the only thing that works. A lot of this is due to my childhood I suppose. It’s very much a self-fulfilling prophecy pertaining to a lack of self-worth. I have a large force of emotion and a complete inability to direct it to appropriate targets.

  11. 8th house moon, Venus in Pisces inconjunct Pluto in libra, Tsquare with Neptune (apex), sun/Venus and moon. I could fall in love with a rock. I’ve noticed obsession in synastry with late libras who’s sun conjoins my Pluto.

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