When I was in my 20’s, I had a friend who was one of the “Thalidomide babies”. If you’re unfamiliar with this, you can read about it here. She was fortunate among the other survivors in that her deformity was limited and not visible in everyday life. It was her chest area that was affected; her breasts. I was thinking about her last night. I was specifically thinking how I felt about this back then.
My friend was understandably sensitive about this and I had a lot of compassion for her. I was young and dumb at that time. I would have thought my life over if I lost one of my breasts. Meeting her and caring about her, forced me to look at this.
This was the first time I encountered someone who was forced to deal with the “unthinkable”. It’s only unthinkable until it happens to you! Then you will damned think about it! It was a giant wake-up call for me.
I was having a lot of fun back then and she wanted me to help her so she could have fun too. Her deformity was hardwired so all I could do was encourage her. I have Venus square Neptune. In hindsight, I threw gobs of fairy dust on here, and may her laugh her ass off. It’s seems pathetic but these were the gifts I had to work with so I used them and it did work! This gal met a man and he was over the moon for her. Her deformity was irrelevant to him.
So I was thinking about this last night from today’s perspective, after seeing a (new-to-me) picture of my husband in first grade. Attraction is very powerful. Insanely so. Chemistry.
When someone has something that interacts with your something, body stuff like this only makes the attraction that much stronger. I think it’s because you we’re looking for someone with a problem like this but you meet them and you’re transfixed – it’s telling. You can’t stop it.
I thought this was worth putting out here. I never forget, astrologer, Jack Fertig’s remark: “Whatever you may think, it’s never your age, your weight, your hair, your height, or your abstinence from gymnasia. It’s ALWAYS your attitude.”
This also comes to mind regarding they mystery of love.
Reading this, I hope you feel supported. The media bends over backwards, telling us we’re not good enough. Real love and attraction doesn’t work that way at all. It works more like this:
Have you ever found yourself attracted to someone outside your comfort zone?
Yes it’s the reason I found you. He wasn’t good for me but he was good to me in the way he could.
This is probably a lot of my problem is that I have sexual chemistry with very, very few people. Less than the fingers on one hand in my whole life, and I can’t find a replacement when one bails. I’m very rarely interested in anyone, they’re rarely interested in me, it’s a mismatch. I don’t know what’s so wrong with me that I don’t match with people? I’m like a puzzle piece with no joins or something. Like I’m a triangle.
Today I went to a show with a guy friend I totally have intellectual attraction to–he’s a hoot, I wish I saw him more often, but maybe we shall in the future if we ever do a show together again–but neither of us has that sexy vibe going on. Disappointing. Meanwhile well, the last time I saw the crush (last weekend), he seemed to have gotten his vibe back for me while hugging again…sigh. I know, I know, it means nothing and I’m going back to avoiding him again in hopes that I stop caring for someone who doesn’t care about me. It’s SO rare for me to have that with someone, it hurts me to know it’s a waste and never going to happen and probably not “really” mutual like it sure seemed to me. I just cannot find what I’m looking for, it seems.
It only happened a few times in my lifetime! I was always curious how people fell in love so easily, how people broke up and had a new partner the week after!? as a serious teen/young adult (Capricorn Sun & Ascendent with Scorpio Venus) I needed that Chemical attraction to take things forward!
Yes!! I feel many are disconnected with their own internal systems. Once that happens, all bets are off.