Underestimating People & Misjudging Synastry

synastryContinuing this series on how astrologers can be skewed when reading charts, this is a good time to mention my own bias: I am biased towards the couple. Barring abuse, I’m geared towards saving a marriage rather than scrapping it.

Many people use astrology to explain why their relationship is not working and impossible. “His Saturn squares my Mars! Consequently nothing can be done and nothing can ever get better!”

This is not true. If you want to be part of a relationship that works, look at people you know who are happily partnered. They’re not necessarily partnered because they’re lucky and you’re not. They generally partnered because decided to work things out.

The potential for this is overlooked by many when judging the synastry between two people.  They lose sight of how resilient people are; how smart and creative and adaptable they can be. They forget how time heals wounds and how often problems resolve on their own if a person can be a bit patient.

I’m not saying everyone should stay with whoever, just because. I am saying that many leave relationships, prematurely. Some of them use astrology to do it.

The same astrology can give you a different result. If you see something challenging in the synastry between you and your partner (or friend), think about how it might be channeled in a positive way. If both people want this, it’s really not that hard to manifest. Astrology makes it even easier.

Bottom line, you don’t want to rely so heavily on synastry that you forget that people can and do find ways to get along. This has happened since the beginning of time.

Some people look for the problem, rather than the solution.  They leave the relationship, start up another and wind up with the exact same problem they had in the first place. This just seems to be how life works. “Out of the frying pan, into the fire”, as they say.

Have you ever dumped someone because of a bad aspect?

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11 thoughts on “Underestimating People & Misjudging Synastry”

  1. It annoys me so much, that people would use astrology as a way to rule someone out. I guess because I’ve struggled in love I’ve learned one should appreciate when it comes, rather than making up reasons for it not to work. It must be nice to feel like one can afford to do that, but people need to be humble and remember that not everyone has that luxury. Synastry is interesting observation and can be useful but I agree that it doesn’t make or break a relationship, that’s up to the people involved. As I’ve said before, I think the purpose of studying astrology is to work with the energy that’s out there, not to let it hold power over you.

  2. The other thing to keep in mind is that some people are not destined to have soulmate composites with a spouse. The very best composite I’ve ever had has been with a boss for whom I have worked for many years (a completely nonsexual relationship). Soulmate relationships take many forms. Also, some of us are fortunate enough to have grown up around a nonrelative time twin. This is a bond that will outlast the death of one, in many cases. It is also a soulmate relationship that is not spousal.

    1. I had read that, too, somewhere. And it seems right to me. Somehow “soulmate” has been turn into a romantic relationship, when it is really souls meeting through some relationship, maybe romantic but NOT necessarily, so that you both evolve.

  3. I really like this post and this outlook. In dealing with a breakup recently, I’ve been getting so “woe is me” when I look over his & my transits, feeling doomed– and I really need to snap out of it. I know that astrology is not predictive, but in my recent mindset, I’ve been latching on to every negative transit and ignoring my own free will. I know that’s not exactly what you were getting at here, but it served as a reminder to me anyway– to look closer at my positive transits, namely, and take advantage of the energy there, instead of letting the negative transits keep me holed up & overly pessimistic.

    I’m looking forward to a fresh new year!!

  4. I’ve never used astrology to make a decision. Mostly I’ve used it to help with a post-mortem after the situation has played itself out. “Oh that explains why…”

  5. Left a friendship over an aspect that neither of us could resolve. We did try for two years. (Pluto square Venus double whammy – our Venus’ were trine at least)

  6. My husband and I have a lot of Saturn in our partnership charts which most people read negatively but in truth its the glue that holds us together even when it seems impossible we are in it for the long run. Most Astrologers have told me the Saturn bits are tough aspects what they didn’t realize is that it is not tough on the partnership itself it makes our partnership tough as nails externally to outer forces. We are lovers and friends and individuals but there is no two ways about it we are connected. This was clear early on in our relationship and scared the bejeezes out of my Auquarian Sun and Moon man. If I had listened to Astrologers telling me our partnership future it would have looked doomed. He seemed to get spooked and flee but just like reaching the end of a rubber band snap he was right back time and again it took him a good while. Follow your heart, listen to your partner and let the Astrology work for you. I have found Astrology most helpful in relationships to not have expectations of people they can’t meet. Both my Sister and Sister-in-law are Taurus moons they both NEED a comfortable home base and to lounge in comfort from the world in it. Knowing this about them makes it easier to accept when they are acting like home bodies to recoupe its in their charts its who they are no need to try and change accept and all is well.

    1. I agree about the Saturn glue, I can almost be impossible to break even difficult aspects. Which can be good…and bad!

  7. If you wanna leave, an aspect is as good a justification as any would be my guess. I haven’t done relationship much since I started with astrology. I suppose I would use it more as a learning tool in relationship. What I am feeling would come first and then I would check the charts, maybe. Sometimes things, feelings, seem unexplainable and I fall to astrology for answers on that. Like not being able to relax together. Besides his jittery gemini moon, there was a sun uranus conjunction sextiling that. Objectively I liked him, but it was too much pins and needles. Time could never stand still with us. It was too de-stabilizing to go any further. But you are talking marriage, that’s a whole nother thing.

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