Mars in Synastry: We Treat People Differently…

I have Saturn transiting my 7th house which means I am learning about how I relate to others. And I am in contact with three men, past and present loves and Scott in particular has marveled and made me aware of how the relationships in no way resemble each other.

For example, Scott gets a little ticked sometimes because he thinks I treat the AMF better than I ever treated him, though I was with him on and off for 17 years.

“How come you never cut me that kind of slack?” he asked. “If you’d have treated me like that, we might have gotten along!”

And he’s right! I do treat the AMF better than I ever treated him and there is nothing I can do about it. I am moved and motivated to extend myself where the AMF is concerned far beyond what I’ve ever been willing to do previously. And astrology illustrates this, of course.

The Special Forces guy? I flare like crazy against him. His Mars is square my Mars and I am always ready to fight. Fight with him or against him, it makes no difference. I am zero to sixty in a nanosecond… whoosh!

In comparison, the AMF and I have our Mars conjunct and when there is conflict, I am always ready to compromise.

Scott and I have no Mars aspects and it’s sort of like we’re standing there looking at each other and it sounds like this:

“What are you doing?”

“What do you mean what am I doing? What are you doing?”

“Wondering what you’re doing! So what are you doing? I have no idea what you’re doing. What the fuck are you doing, anyway?”

“What do you mean, what the fuck am I doing? I’m asking you what you’re doing!”

So I mention I would take a bullet in the chest and the Special Forces guys states very plainly, “I have never met the passive Elsa.”

And it is difficult to answer this because it’s true and it just is. And I would be crazy trying to figure it out if not for astrology and the perfect map it provided.

So what about you? Have you ever noticed yourself fighting one person tooth and nail while you consistently extend yourself to another?

9 thoughts on “Mars in Synastry: We Treat People Differently…”

  1. Yes, it is definitely fascinating how some interactions just _are_ a certain way.

    Unfortunately it can be mightily uncomfortable when things continually ‘go wrong’ in relationships. I guess that’s a clue/cue to try something different or get out of harm’s way.


  2. OMG, yes and double, triple yes! I would never, ever, ever, ever tolerate in any previous relaitonship what I am willing to tolerate in the current one. I punched, bit, shot(accidentally…somewhat. I was inebriated),cursed, kicked and spit throughout (yes, I had issues) my last 2 marriages.
    They could just look at me the wrong way and I would want to kick their asses! I do not know where our composite Mars or Pluto’s were but it must have been a volitile mix.

    I am with you on this, Elsa. I am so willing to extend myself to my husband in all ways. He inspires me to mystical, magical heights. Even though we argue every detail of every subject…every day I would never think of disrespecting him like I did the last two.
    It is rather odd when I think about how I reacted to them. There was no tolerance at all sad to say.

    Good God! Reading this over I look like a psycho I think I’m embarrassed…..not!

  3. Absolutely! My ex and I were at each other’s throats constantly. I felt I had zero motivation to be sweet and lovey to him unless he was being sweet and lovey to me. With my current? It’s a total 180, and I love it!

  4. HA! This is awesome! I love your relationship with Special Forces guy, I still don’t understand it. I have this one friend who I LOVE to do bitch work/buy presents for. Apparently I have Mercury quincunx Saturn which makes me really enjoy being people’s bitch, but her in particular. She is an Aquarius with a funky style so I love buying presents for her on her birthday. And apparently my dad acts in a more immature way than he does with anybody else/we fight more, so maybe that has something to do with him more than me. On a random note, current amount of people talking about their cell phones being completely broken: about four (ex. “OH NO Keith’s cell phone exploded!! Send him your numbers…and your souls.”). I said it before and I’ll say it again, this time Mercury in retrograde has gone apeshit!

  5. This topic makes me think of sex. I met a guy while I was still-married-but-single (separated) and we had the MOST incredible sex vibe. It was so good that I convinced myself the gleam in his eye was pure spirit, compassion and intelligence. It took THREE MONTHS for me to realize that the ‘gleam’ was actually the desperation of a guy who was literally falling apart in all aspects of his life. But the sex was SO transcendental that my Bullshit-O-Meter shut down and I didn’t see the myriad of lies he built around himself. I could fall asleep in his arms I felt so safe. And that was a TOTAL illusion because he was a charming sociopath.

    It was fun while it lasted. And then I ended it. Much to his surprise.

  6. Sorry that was so off topic. I meant to connect it. I have NEVER had such great sex with a guy who loved me. I meant that there must have been some astrological connection that just WORKED but only in that area. Because we fought all the time. Nasty loud yelling screaming–we couldn’t do ANYTHING else but sex or we really hated each other.

  7. Maybe it is because I was a Pisces in love, but I have done BOTH fighting and compromising too much within the very same relationship. Unstable, that one.

  8. I was with this guy, our Mars’ didn’t aspect, besides each other’s Neptunes, and the constant phrase would be, “What is it?” Sometimes said in unison, like we really wanted to know the other, but it was a weird disconnect. Seeing him through a glass wall or something, both our Mars’ in air, mine Gemini, his Libra.

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