I have been blogging since 2001. Every day I am praised and every day I am vilified and insulted.
After twelve years this, I don’t internalize much of what people say to me, good or bad. This is because I don’t think it would be a good idea to accept the praise while deflecting or denying the criticism. It would be an even worse idea to take in the insults and ignore the appreciation that comes my way – I would soon come undone.
I could try to sort through the remarks. I could weigh them for validity or sincerity. I could attempt to judge them on some other kind of scale, but this would take a lot of time and I don’t think I would be any good at it.
I’d not be good at it because of the hall of mirrors affect, courtesy Neptune in my chart. I am truly flabbergasted at the way I am characterized at times.
It’s not just when people are insulting me, either. I am often praised for sharing the beliefs of person, when I don’t hold the beliefs in question, nor do I have the slightest clue how the person writing me came to think I did. How do you weigh something like this? How am I to value this kind of vapor?
The insults are often just as bizarre, at least I think this is the case.
“Elsa, you are this or that insulting buzzword!”
I read the message and think, “Huh?”
It just doesn’t seem to jibe with the enormous body of work I’ve produced.
I don’t understand how people come to their conclusions, but I’ve come to the conclusion it’s best not to argue. Our lifespans are tiny as it is.
How is Neptune conjunction ASC different from Neptune conjunction MC? Is it more about trouble with self perception or presenting a changeable mask of the self?
myrna, you are walking into a room with Neptune. I am on the job. 🙂
Elsa, I definitely think that in order to work in the public eye, especially in the field of astrology, developing a ‘thick skin’ like that would serve you well.
As for our lifespans being tiny, that makes me sad. It seems like I just the hang of using the energies in my chart and sync them up to this body and wham, time to move on. UGH!
I live in a room with neptune, and am only just now learning how that energy can be put to good use.
Angie
Well said. You’re second paragraph woke me up this morning with how wise and honest it is. I’ll have to remember that message.
I think what matters the most is being in touch with ourselves and being our own judges. What people see in us is but a projection anyway. I have Neptune square MC so I definitely can relate to the content of this post.
What I notice is people tell me what they think and how they feel, but have no interest in what I think and how I feel.
This explains quite a bit.
True, Elsa. I have noticed this recurring pattern as well. I think if everyone questioned a bit more the grip our ego has on us (egocentrism in the broadest sense of the word, that is, being unable to realize there is more to reality and to others than what *we* know best)this issue would be much less influential.
I don’t think people should be so rude………what’s with the name calling?
I would not pay attention to any negative responses as it is a reflection of the person themselves………..
Obviously, they are not very mature!
Reminds me of that new-age saying that what people think of you is none of your business.
I wouldn’t ask people with whom I’m not personally aquainted,too many questions about what they thought or how they felt unless I was being sought out for my opinion.I try not to pry or come across as overly intrusive.I IMAGINE what it would be like on that end,from your perspective.I’m sure I haven’t a clue.
I’m amazed by the way people draw conclusions. It is very annoying when people make assumptions about what you are like and what you believe. It seems to me there is something paradoxical at work most of the time — the initial hit, that ‘slice’ that may tell you something very important and true; but at the same time, it can take a long time to really know someone and what they are like, and the long, complicated individual history that has given them their particular perspective.
“What I notice is people tell me what they think and how they feel, but have no interest in what I think and how I feel.”
This is a compliment in itself. People think you are stronger than they are. They think you can relate to them, you can understand or you can empathize. They probably think you can help them. That is a neptune projection but I think it’s positive in a way. It means you have strength. And obviously people *are* listening and find you inspiring, or they wouldnt want you to listen to them.
That’s a nice frame, Mermaid. Thank you. 🙂
Weak people, people who don’t know themselves, mostly think of themselves, so I’ve learned. I have this problem sometimes where I feel like people are only interested in themselves. As soon as I realized this, everyone started to come to me. I never thought of this as Neptunian before but it is.
I just notice that a person is talking at me, not to me.
Lots of people have conversations with me. This is something different.
A person feels I need to be informed of something. I am not involved. This is how I feel when I read the stuff.
It’s like someone coming up to me in a grocery store and asking if they can help me pick up the stuff I just dropped, as opposed to someone coming up to me in the store and telling me my shoes don’t match my purse.
These scenes are very different to me. One of them is an exchange. The other is an interference or an assault (can’t think of a lessor word, sorry).
Their need to complain about my shoes is their gig. I am not involved!
weird
Your thoughts are very abstract. Maybe the just completely misinterpret what you say.
Elsa~ Since I started reading your blog I have seen you mention a few times that people say nasty, attacking things to you and it always causes me to wonder how or why? I’ve never read anything that I can even remotely think would set someone off like that. I think there are some peeps who just like to be pissed off and offended. Righteous indignation seems to run rampant these days.
Yes, I think it is weird as hell. Internet thing to an extent, but also I guess people think they know me.
I swear they talk to me as if I am in their family and they are mad.
You know how family members get pissed off at each other and don’t come to Christmas? It’s like that. They cancel the holidays they were going to spend with me. Since I did not grow up in a normal family, I am doubly bewildered.
I do think this is similar though. This is what it’s like when sisters or cousins of wives of your brother get pissed – I think.
In my family, we just go away for 10 or 20 or 30 years. It’s not a thing for us so maybe you see what I am saying. I don’t understand the psychodrama.
I am on occasion sent 5-10 pages of my wrongdoings. I’m just,,,lost.
Really, people think I am a droid. I’m just very useful for a lot of things.
I think what is hardest is for people to be really kind to someone like me. Not fake kind, but kind/kind.
This happens too. 🙂
Like one of the regular gals sent me the camera that the kids around here use to film themselves, Christmas before last, when mother died. Every time they come in to get the camera, I think of that kindness.
I just saw this on twitter:
You can’t let praise or criticism get to you. It’s a weakness to get caught up in either one.
-John Wooden
I love him! 🙂 (RIP)
What? You get actual pages? Holy Shit, that IS weird. You should laugh that baloney off because just the fact that someone you dont know would do that pretty much tells a full story of who THEY are. And even if they did know you, who the hell are they to point out anything unless it comes from a place of compassion and love.
The Internet is a freaky place.
Most people on here don’t care about you as a person and are fake because its the internet.
You aren’t real to them. You’re an enigma and people project whatever the want on you. It still doesn’t change that you help them, I think they know you have helped them. Let them be mad at themselves, not your problem.
I’m sorry you go through that Elsa.It’s a good thing you are so well adjusted and comfortable with who you are.Also I appreciate how self examining and human you really are.
I can’t understand why would anyone insult you, you stories are never offensive
Well, I am busy all the time and this helps.
I have no time to do anything but the things I have to do and this is a great help!
I am always doing something.
I had several clients today (one more tonight), wrote one blog post and two newsletters. I cleaned the inside of my refrigerator because wine had spilled, did the dishes and shampooed the carpet after my son vacuumed, to deal with dog mud.
I coordinated some stuff for my woman’s club, talked to a friend on the phone for awhile, and formatted the next (edited by satori) chapter of my book into the final document, I will upload to publish…
You get the idea. This is my actual life.
I have to paint my fingernails…I may do that tonight. I also talk to my husband throughout the day, and try to check on a friend, sometimes, who gets depressed.
None of this bothers anyone. I go out of my way not to fuck anyone up, ever, in any way.
I have way too much Capricorn to be fucking around, but from other people’s perspectives, I really am horrendous and I mean they really think I am disgusting.
Oh yeah. I did the laundry today and would have liked to sweep and mop the kitchen floor (which is disgusting), but got distracted by the site being down.
I also went to the grocery store at 6:30 am.
This is my real life, which seems to me should not surprise anyone, because look at what I write about? This!
I am also keeping an eye on the gun rights stuff going down today. This stuff is near and dear to my heart.
Oh yeah.
I got on skype with the Mechanic to discuss something. We do this every (week) day now. Can y’all see I have a full day?
I have no idea how I manage to make so many enemies. It’s certainly not my intention! 🙂
Dang, that sounds stressful. But you go girl! My husband would love the crap out of you. He has his scorp sun in the 12th with a cap moon. Not gonna be jealous of you though-hehe;)
It’s not really stressful. I am made for this.
Even the punishment – I am made to take that as well, obviously.
I can imagine… 🙂
I find the floors the hardest thing to keep clean especially with animals! (((Elsa))) I think you’re great:) Those people need to pick something meaningful to focus on. Not that you aren’t meaningful (duh, Kashmiri) but focussing on someone you’re mad at on the Internet is a truly pointless pursuit.
On the internet I see this alot. My favorite youtube videos have comments of your this your that. Its like seriously enjoy the music say something nice or don’t say it all! Some of things we were taught as kids apply today – if you have nothing nice to say then just don’t go there. Its pointless, rude, and it makes the person saying it look bad. So why waste your time, the person is even wasting their good energy away too! What a waste.
They don’t *think* you’re disgusting, Elsa, in fact they are not *thinking* at all. These are deeply wounded people who are lashing out from a place of pain and I’d being willing to bet you’re not the only one they do it to. Something about what you do or say aggravates some wound in them and they are unable to look at themselves and explore why or what that is. It’s just the typical b.s. of someone dumping their garbage on you because they mistakenly think it’s yours.
Well if a person must, then go ahead. But I bet they wouldn’t say this shit if I was a big, black man and they were in the room with me.
::snorts::
Way to target, lol.
I did mop the floor today.
I have two clients, and Quirky spent the night. I went grocery shopping again, early, because the boys drank all the milk, which is the main thing boys do!
I feel happy. I can’t wait to start my garden.
I keep commenting on this because it upsets me. Now I’m the one that is going to pretend like I know you but, it ticks me off to know that people are attacking someone that has done and does so much good for me and many others. This post struck a nerve in me and yesterday I kind of was feeling like…”Let me at’em” & “Look bitch, don’t be messin’ with our Elsa.” 😉
“When you are content to simply be yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.” So says Lao Tzu.
This is an interesting topic. I have Neptune conjunct my midheaven and a Capricorn moon conjunct my ascendent. I never know where people are coming from or what their agenda is. But if you put yourself out there, people will judge. They probably respect you as well. Are they putting their work before the public too?
Every one is entitled to an opinion..
but opinions are like assholes…every one’s got one.. 😉