Ugly Bartender – Saturn Square Venus In Synastry: Part one

Here’s a story that illustrates how these aspects work. The man in this story had Saturn in Scorpio, widely square my Venus in Leo. Saturn restricts. Venus is your vanity…

I was nineteen when I won the Ugly Bartender Contest. It was a charity thing, sponsored by the local Budweiser distributor. It cost a buck to vote me ugly and I won by collecting the more money the any other bartender in my city. First prize this was, which was a trip… kind of.

The distributor was throwing a party at a hotel in a nearby city, somewhere I’d never been. Actually, I’d just been on the first plane of my life, so it was shaping up to be a travel binge if I could get there, that is. Because although they paid for accommodations, I couldn’t afford to go. Really, I couldn’t. I was totally poor, but my boss graciously gave me two paid days off and $50 so I was in. Pure glee!

I was going to get an award and I wanted something great to wear. I didn’t have any money, so I went to Goodwill all nervous and jerky and desperate and there it was! I found this white shiny satiny long jacket-ish thing with great buttons and I snagged it. It cost $4.50, I remember. And that was a large sum, but my Leo Venus just had to have it. This was back when people wore platform sandals with jeans and so this was my plan. I had a pair of Candies.

I went home and tried on my new outfit and really shocked myself. I looked positively chic. “Is that me?” I wondered. I was totally in awe of myself. I was a desert rat looking at her potential and I was pretty much flabbergasted.

So I made the trip with my boyfriend. I had a great boyfriend, who knew how to travel, so we swung by Las Vegas on the way. It was my first time there too, and I was breathless because I thought I was seeing the world. I was in a new state, right? I was underage of course, but this didn’t stop me from winning $50, (huge fortune) and from there, we took off for the hotel in great spirits.

The hotel was nice; the nicest place I’d ever stayed in my life, come to think of it. My new outfit was a surprise for my boyfriend, and when it came time for the party I walked out of the bathroom thinking I looked the bomb.

“What kind of giddy up is that?” he asked. “Who do you think you are? Bianca Jagger? You look like fucking Bianca Jagger in that.”

I deflated. “I do? So? She looks good.”

“Well, yeah. But you’re not her! And I’m not Mick! I’m not sure I want to go, with you wearing that. You can look good, but you don’t need to look that damned good. What do you think this is? Hollywood? People are going to stare at you in that. How many men do you want looking at you anyway? I have to beat ’em off with a stick as it is and you go out in that?”

I felt like crying. I didn’t have anything else to wear, so I wore what I had on, but felt horrible and self-conscious all night.

skip to part two…