Venus Square Neptune Effects – Delusion In Love

Venus in aspect with Neptune (also applies to Venus in Pisces, or Venus in the 12th) gives dreamy ethereal heavenly love. I write from experience!

Venus Neptune fantasizes love and is able to temporarily create heaven on earth in relationship. There is an abundance of faith and an aversion to reality in love. They do not see their love, or the beloved as something / someone down to earth or REAL. Rather, what they are involved in is otherworldly, specially blessed, heavenly and so forth. Their love is ethereal and dreamy and pure and hoo-boy is it ever FETCHING.

Venus Neptune tantalizes…
Come hither and all your pain and sins will be washed away.
They mean it, and they deliver the goods too.
Bring me your tired, your poor…
For awhile.

This can only be held up so long and then the veil drops. It is inevitable that this occurs because it is smoke and mirrors and delusion and self delusion and really really really great UN-real love.

Everyone knows someone like this?  They dial you up and they have just met the be all end all man/woman of their dreams. You have heard this before, but you listen and they go on and on about this new nirvana they live in. How after all their struggles in love, all the sacrifices they have made – they cannot believe it, but their sweet reward in on the scene in the form of Mr/s X, who they plan to live with in bliss forever. They have done it, they have found the holy grail, the key to heaven, a holy relationship, something others could not possibly understand and they are drunk with love. They worship the beloved and project superhuman qualities onto them. They build them up, pump them up while simultaneously ignoring and erasing away any sign that the beloved is a flawed human being.

You shake your head because you KNOW that this person will be gone in a few weeks and sure enough, here is the next phone call.

“That ()(*&*^%^ stole my money/cheated on me/was married…” etc. etc.

Recognize this?

Skip to part 2.

51 thoughts on “Venus Square Neptune Effects – Delusion In Love”

  1. I tend to do this or I used to, I either have a opposition or square can’t recall now, but when i get to know people somehow I see them as perfect creatures & think what a wonderful amazing person she/he is I see them only through colored glasses & when the reality heats me later on & discover they are just regular humans & due to the very high expectations at first they soon become the very bad kind of human !

  2. I have had this experience in the past. I do no recommend this.

    Can I spell disillusionment? Why yes, I can.

  3. Eeek, I have Venus sq. Neptune. I admit when I was younger thinking every new boyfriend I had was the best thing since sliced bread. My last boyfriend, who happens to be my husband, has been my best thing since sliced bread for 11 years now 🙂
    I remember asking you, Elsa, a long time ago if the reverse can also be true: Seeing with murky-colored glasses instead of rose-colored glasses. I think it took a long time for me to really see how GREAT my husband is.

  4. Wow Elsa. Even the way you wrote that…it’s like the you took the words of emails I get from a Cancer friend with Virgo Rising. He talks JUST LIKE that about his “beloved”, his “angel” and his “blissful” morning with her as he messages her feet to slowly awaken her. Wow!! I do wonder how long this will last. But I wish him lots of happiniess anyway!

  5. I haven’t read the article yet (about to) but just have to say…. I LOVE that Barbie! She is sooo pretty!

  6. Ooooh. Yeah… Venus in Pisces here, and I would like that Barbie. Dreamy and sparkle-y. Thanks for the reminder (warning!) I can actually feel I am doing it again, and it does feel better than facing reality. More optimistic, you know?

  7. Only once.

    I have Scorpio and a Virgo Venus.

    I really did know in the back of my mind what bullshit it all was but I let myself be addicted anyway for years.

  8. Heh. I had a reading from you way back when before I knew more about astrology, Elsa, and you told me Neptune was on my descendant. Boy oh boy, did I learn about that…

  9. lol I used to do this… spent a decade doing it. Saturn in Libra seems to have changed all the games of love for me… Still single, but all the wiser 🙂

    1. haha good one! old comment but i’m glad my husband is everything i’ve lived up to with my 12th house venus/pisces cusp rising/12th moon. lol My ex’s were so awful, the veil dropped but i kept forgiving.

  10. i’m glad mine is a trine!!! but, yes. although with saturn involved i rarely got close enough for the illusion to break. i preferred daydreaming from a distance.
    real love is a b#tch, is what. a darn good thing, too, but climbing down from the clouds into the dirt is hard :/

  11. I have Scorpio Neptune in the 7th trine both Pisces Sun and Aquarius Venus… I definitely do the ‘saviour/victim’ (bring me your poor etc) thing but I think my Capricorn Moon helps me be a little more down to earth than the Neptune/Venus aspects pushes me towards. I have a friend with Pisces Venus and she is soooo far out of touch with reality in relationships that I just shake my head.

  12. Venus in Cancer trine Neptune in Scorpio. I’ve washed away so much pain and sin there should be a statue of me in the Vatican :).

  13. Um, I was married to it for 12 years. It was a whirlwind in the beginning, then a long slow disillusionment, then I was abruptly dropped for a replacement fantasy. My Venus Saturn thought we were building a life together. It only slowly creeped up on me that that was not his understanding of how love worked.

  14. Neptune in scorpio 7th house…i have tried to cure myself of idealising love/men and living in fantasy land. Cappy venus has helped stay real and grounded.

  15. Elsa, when you mention alternative placements that could have similar experiences, I get that. I’m not quite sure I understand why Virgos and Virgo risings would exhibit such behavior, though.

    1. Ebony, Vigor risings have Neptune ruling the 7th and with Virgos, I am thinking in terms of a solar chart, plus I have seen this pay out for decades. 🙂

  16. Oh no! It is even worse for me than I thought than. Venus Square Neptune AND Neptune conjunct Moon AND Virgo Sun – I am completely cursed!!! Wah!!! (neptune conjunct asc too)

    I can tell you why Virgos would do this – because they want perfection and when that veil drops and they realize the person is just a mortal and not perfect, they just can’t stand it.

  17. Sometimes it does manifest in rather unusual ways. It doesn’t have to be all about deception, although that is quite prominent. I know it’s what the article is about, but:

    One example, I have lost count of the amount of men that tell me they felt “sooooo relaxed” around me, one man even described me as a lotus eater! (greek myth of the island where if you eat the lotus flowers you lose track of time in a mellow narcotic daze). He added that he felt like he should go but mysteriously couldn’t tear himself away as he felt too chilled out.

    The men in my life have all had problems with insomnia, only to find they could have a full night sleep with me, frequently oversleeping. They would get up unusually late (sometimes even 1pm) and wonder why that happened or if they were coming down with flu (they weren’t). And they even started to have dream recall which really baffled them as apparently they never dream!

    It’s like I have an oddly hypnotic effect on them. Not in a sultry seductive way (I wish!), but in an unreal dreamlike stoner way. Neptune in 12th in tight aspect to Venus.

    I don’t even do recreational drugs either!

  18. I have this neptune venus square natally – I recognise it in my personality (netune in scorpio 6th house square venus in Aquarius in 10th house) I need to express this somehow, so I find it incredibly useful in prayer, Holy Mass, contemplating the mysteries of the Rosary and how this can help cope with and enhance the mundane reality of life. (I made some BIG boo-hoo errors however before I could get this aspect to work for me!)

  19. Yes! I have Venus in 9th square Neptune in 12th.
    Big mind trips, almost mystical.
    And the exhilaration is good for imagination and creative output, but not sustainable.
    The few guys I’ve had this experience with were also somewhat financially dependent on me – the double whammy effect.
    When it’s high, it’s great, then it flops.
    As much fun & exciting as it is, I wouldn’t ever want to go through that again.

  20. Transiting venus in libra is currently squaring my natal neptune. My natal cap neptune and natal venus aries also square, so transiting venus is also opposing my natal venus this week.

    Feeling the effects but rising above old deep habits of co-dependancy and releasing the relationship that has taught me all about this pattern in myself. Finally.
    Someone who I was friends but ambiguously lovers with for nigh on 5 years. Someone I finally see beyond my own projections BUT more importantly, holding my pain and frustration as mine, that I chose someone who I could not or did not have to be real with in order to keep living my avoidant life.

    They were the type to put up with a lot in order to have the intimacy they desired. I took advantage of this tendancy to get the intimacy I desired. THE WORST!!

    It’s taken almost 3 years to truly release this person from my life. accept who they are, accept my sense of failure i nrelationship and compassionately release this relationship as the lesson it is, hold fast to my new high-standards (that are for me to meet and maintain not for others to fulfill.) and continue to work through the stuffy constricting, sticky nebulous patterns of hiding in relationship in order to get some bread crumbs of love at the expense of giving all I have – WHICH no one ever asked for.

    My heart is tender, but spacious this week with the clearing

  21. I have this natally (with Pisces Asc.) but in a loose square from the 6th to 8th houses. I do identify with the idealism/putting a lover on a pedestal but have managed to dodge the bullet many times as far as being taken advantage of. Overall it has been a positive benefit if not long lasting in effect.

  22. Elsa could this apply to Neptune conjunct Venus? Which are both in Scorpio. What could a Scorpio venus idealize when known to be vicious?

  23. Venus sextile neptune, mercury as a midpoint. I have lost sense of reality in relationships to the point that it affects my mind and good judgement.Fortunately I’m learning as I age and it hasn’t happened in 7 years

  24. %100 true and very painful eventhough this aspect brings a lot of artistic and immagination to the native. I have venus Virgo house 11 square neptune house 2 sagg. Ascendant scorpio conjunct uranus north node which means south node conjunct descendant and lilith and chiron.
    Can you tell us please how to survive this hard aspect? It is very tough

  25. Hi Elsa, in regards to this post…. What if Neptune is conjunct Saturn in Aries in the 12th house? Is it still all ethereal and otherworldly or is there an element of reality to it?

  26. My ex friend who was pisces sun and rising with a moon/mars/saturn super exact conjunction in scorpio would cycle through several Mr Wonderfuls a month. I got maybe hundreds (thousands?) of texts, plus demanding I look at their astrology. Then there was the vitriolic and predictable discard of those men. I ended up ghosting her, it was the best I could do lol. I would not be shocked to see her on the news someday.

  27. Natal Venus in Pisces here, trine Moon conjunct Neptune.
    Pining gold medalist.
    Willfully ignored every red flag.
    Gave all for love that in the end wasn’t real.
    Lessons learned the hard way.
    Sadder but wiser.
    Progressed Venus now in Aries.
    Time to love the self more?

  28. The past 2 people I was with both had Venus in Pisces and both a Pluto in Scorpio (both 8th house). Needless to say, I’ve been very naive and realized I love nurturing wounds to a fault that it effects my well-being!

  29. I have Virgo rising (so 7H Pisces). When I was first crushing on boys, then as a single young woman, I know I definitely have a type that I go for (my husband fits this), but I’d also go for the just most off-the-wall outliers ever…like just…girl, it’s nice that you can see good in people but later I’d go…wtf?

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