I have mentioned my sensitivity to pictures and other Neptune things as well as my aversion to opening up boxes that contain old stuff and anything I expect to be very energetic. This has driven my husband crazy in the past because he would send me things and I would not open the boxes for days or in one case, a couple of weeks. I don’t know what to say except for it’s like bringing home a new fish.
When you bring home a new fish, you have to toss it in the tank still in it’s bag so the temperature of the water in the tank and the water the fish is in sync up. If you skip this step and put the fish right in the tank, you will shock the fish and probably kill it. I feel the same about these boxes and last year we got a large box of pictures from my husband’s mother’s collection.
I didn’t want to look at them and call me a freak if you like but I really didn’t want to see a 1000 pictures of his ex which is what I thought would be in there. It would roil me, see? So we looked through them slowly over weeks or even longer than that. He’d dig in the box and hand me some of the pics, not hand me other and I didn’t ask.
Back then, his son was at war in Iraq and I was sending him stuff as a diversion and some of the stuff I sent was pictures but I would have my husband get them out. For example, on one of his birthdays I had my husband get every kid birthday pic he could find and I sent them all as a surprise. His son on his birthday, various years, see? 6 and 8 and 10 or whatever. Outside of that I never got in the box and I already told you why.
It’s been almost 2 years and as of this week, I am in the box. I did it because my husband’s best friend’s daughter (who I met) was in the hospital and wanted so see some of these old pics for cheer. She is 27 or so but there are pictures of her in there when she is 5 and 6. I knew this because she was in the birthday pics, see? She was at the birthday parties for his son.
So I started digging in the box and I am happy to report I have not run into even one thing upsetting. I have to say, I am not that deep down and as for the rest, well I have already been PRE-upset by some of the stuff. My husband was a studly, I’ll tell you that and guess who was not there to see it? ::sighs:: Jeez man, he looks like a rod and a half but anyway it’s gone okay and then today in my spring cleaning, I found some other pics. I’ve seen these before too – they are his pics as a teen in a little folder but when I took them out to scan, I saw someone had written on the back on his pic…
I know you want to know what it says so…
“I love this guy more than anyone I have ever known. I hope one day to have his child and be with him thru eternity. He deserves the best. I hope to give it to him…”
My husband thinks someone named Mary Jean may have written it. He is 15 years old and she was his girlfriend of 2 weeks and religious.
Anyway, this is my Uranus Moon transit… Jupiter, Saturn and Pluto on the way so who knows. Right now I am taking advantage of my ability to detach from my emotion and I will try to scan all these pics from the mother (Moon) for the future (Uranus).
aye.
Over xmas my bf found this old cassette and played it for me. Apparently he’d only listened to it once–he was 6 on it (he’s 41). It was a real treat. Then he told me about the adult man on the tape. his mother’s best friend who was his father figure. He is long since departed this life and it was a mind-bender to listen to it and not choke up.
One funny thing: my bf sighs A LOT. very dramatic sigh-er. all, ALL his ex girlfriends hated it because they thought he was being passive aggressive. (personally I think it’s cute). Well lo and behold, there he is on the tape at 6 years old SIGHING. I pointed it out to him which surprised him and made him happy, I think.
i’m sorry, i wanted to mention that i loved this post!!
Scott played me a tape of his grandmother talking about me on the phone when I was 16, he was 18. “Why don’t you call, Elsie,” she says. “She’s a beautiful girl. She’s very nice, that Elsie, you should call her..”
He played this tape for me like 5 years ago. His grandmother had been dead for years and I did know her well because she used to come see me in a restaurant where I worked, sit at the table for 2 hours during rush and tip me a dime! A dime!
She also used to grab my clothes when I passed and hold them so I would stay and talk to her. I have always respected old people but jeez louise it was lunch rush in a restaurant in the mall at Christmas!
I was always nice to her though and it is due this and things like this that I have the computer I am working on today. Yep, Scott bought it for me about 4 years ago before he / we went back into estrangement mode.
“It must feel good someone loved you like that, anyway.”
“P, she didn’t love me. That is some moron girl, she read that somewhere, she remembered it and she wanted to write it down somewhere..”
::snorts::
he never, ever says the PC thing, he can’t help himself.
Did you guys know I worked on a donated computer? Well now you do.
And it goes to show these things do come back around.
Glad there hasn’t been anything too upsetting.
I have a tape of my family that I recorded last time we were all… alive and together and healthy.
The way we all communicated together has always been weird and hilarious & full of stories and oddities and zest & I wanted to capture that.
I haven’t listened to it & don’t think I can for a while if I ever can.
—
LOL @ the soldier.
I went digging again and apparently he has his pics mixed in because there are lots of pictures of people getting surgery in the field… him and others. They are digging out bullets and shrapnel and in some cases, hands plunged into a body cavities. Arrgh.
I have to say they do good work though. Everything looks pretty clean and the closed wounds look good too.
There are 50 pictures like that at least. Gah.
“I didn’t show you those, P, because I thought they’d gross you out.”
In my mind he was passing over pics of hot babes in bikinis although there is one pic of them with the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders… just a bunch a women in spandex – not the kind of thing that bothers me.
The kind of thing that bothers is me is the last thing you’d think but it sure makes sense to me.
“That girl was my gf for about 2 weeks so I went down to Grants and got her a ring… a $25 ring and I gave it to her and she said, don’t you think you’re moving a little fast?”
I laughed.
“And then writes she wants to have my baby and be with me through eternity. That’s when I knew… I had suspected but that is when I knew that women were illogical. I have confirmed that in later years but anyway, P, that’s what that was. She loves me but I am moving too fast.”
“$25 was a lot for a ring back then.”
“Yeah, well it was hard for a man to get a girl. It was hard as hell and I was working on a farm back then and making $75 a week so I got her a ring.”
“P, if I knew you back then, would you have gone out with me? I had a station wagon with an Eagles sticker on the side. Would you have got in there with me and rode around.”
“You know I would have.”
“Yeah, I’d have said hey, P. Dump that guy with the van (my high school bf) and come with me in my station wagon with an Eagles sticker on the side.”
“Oh boy. I’d have wanted to but I’d not have done it. I was loyal as hell. That guy dumped me and had he not, I’d probably be with him today. I was loyal as hell.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah, he broke my heart. Motherfucker, I got my heart broke, I had to go home and east aspirin. God but was I ever heartbroken.”
“The kind of thing that bothers is me is the last thing you’d think but it sure makes sense to me.”
Makes sense to me, too.
I think. *taps the glass*
My mother threw way all my baby pics and well most of my pics when I was a kid except yearly high school pics so I didn’t know what I looked like as a kid… I know my current face but not what I used to look like! When I went to visit my cousin, I was looking at his family photo album and I saw a pic of a baby sleeping on my aunt’s knee… I looked at the baby strangely (maybe with a sense of familiarity) and I asked my cousin: “Who is this?” He looked at me strangely and said: “It’s you!!!!!!!”
I was shocked!!! So whatever pics of me that I see, as a kid, shocks me!!!.. and Uranus is transiting (conjunction) my Moon!!! 😉
My face barely changed when I see pics for me as a kid!! Maybe it’s the Cancer rising.. the eternal child! 😉
My sister had all the family cassettes (unbeknownst to my mother, who never would have agreed to that). We only found out because her house burnt down and they were lost in the fire. There was a tape of me as a baby babbling away to my father and that’s gone too.
Vox 1/31/07
your granddaughter
erased
your message
the one
that made
me smile
you addressing
the machine
as me
forty-one messages
she said
astounded
while I ran
toward the
machine
urgently
to avert
disaster
later
I tried
to hide
my intent
but she knew
and I could not
spare her
the sorrow
anymore
than I could
save
myself
knowing
you would
hate
causing
the pain
I had been saving it so I could hear my mom. I forgot to tell my daughter. I tried not to, but I cried. She still feels guilt, and it’s not her fault. It’s mine, I should have taken the tape out.
(((Brizo)))
your post made me cry…I’m so sorry.
xoxo PA
My mom died two weeks after my 23rd birthday. She was diagnosed with terminal cancer in 1976 at age 52 and given six months to live. She lasted a year. She fought like hell. She was a survivor, see? Even though she did ultimately die. She was from a long line of survivors. My Mom was a Leo with a Scorpio Moon (Virgo rising). When she died, my older brother and sister and I divided up her belongings. Somehow my sister got the wedding album and some shoe boxes full of pictures. As I was the third child there were only a couple of photos of me and only one as a baby. My sister said she would ‘sort through them’ and then give them to us to sort through. Well, its been 32 years and she still won’t give those pictures up. I feel cheated. No Mom, or Dad and no pictures either. My sister was always competitive and if she has any inkling that you want something…well, then tough. She has Scorpio rising and is very fixed in her ways.
Photographs of loved ones are certainly no substitute. But, they’re better than nothing.
PA, thanks. The greatest compliment is to know it reached someone.
I wrote that awhile ago, but this blog reminded me of what media (pics, recordings) can do, and how precious it is to hear and see your loved ones once they’re gone.
At mom’s funeral my cousin brought a converted DVD of our families old home movies. Most of the people were from my mothers generation, and gone.
It was the best thing she could have brought. The dinner didn’t turn out at all like we’d planned (one of the kids forgot some of the food) so we ordered pizza and watched it. Our hearts were broken and patched in one day. That’s what love and family can do.
I have Venus square Neptune too.I really don’t like antiques,too many vibes.Resale shops too.It’s like walking through a room full of people shouting at each other.