Venus Square Pluto Synastry – Obsession And Stalking

I offer you this: The Astrology And Psychology of Stalking

And this – “How Can I Miss You When You Won’t Go Away?”

Are you obsessed with someone, or they with you?

25 thoughts on “Venus Square Pluto Synastry – Obsession And Stalking”

  1. I am!!!! And this is soooo annoying.. It happened before and I learned to let go (although a bit reluctantly I admit).
    However I thought I learned from this experience but it seems that my demons are back, knocking on my doors! I have some more digging to do..
    It’s fear that is driving it. Fear of loneliness/rejection and a whole bunch of crap. I’m keeping myself busy and trying to avoid the focus of my obssession like the plague and hopefully it’ll go away. 🙁

  2. Gah one of my friends is being stalked now. Stalkers do not take hints, do not quit, until they have made your life miserable.

    She even caught herself not going to the bathroom because she didn’t want to see the jackass.

    Rage inducing. I was getting triggered just listening to her going through what I went through.

  3. I don’t like that word, but whatever, that’s what he called me. That’s what he refers to me as to his pseudo-friends on a wanky message board he frequents. Well, I guess the fact that I check up on said message board makes me a stalker?

    I was at the beginning of Pluto conj Venus in Cap in my 6th.

    We had a bad sexual encounter in which he irrumated me. I was pretty pissed and sent him an email about it, which I later apologized for. Thought we could continue being friends and we did for a few months(?) then he ghosted me. Moved away when I was out of town.

    Well, I kinda went off the deep end and he went from “please move on and be happy” to “you’re a fucking psycho bitch”. I just wanted to know why he had to be such a pussy about the whole thing.

    Look, motherfucker owed me an apology. I’m not a narcissist, I’ve talked to the psychologist about this.

    Anyway, he stalks me right back. I may have been neptooned, but I know I’m not delusional. Just easily duped in wanting to believe that he actually cared for me.

    He’s popped up in the past, after drinking and hadn’t “had pussy in over a year.” I asked him if he posted something about me and he flat out fucking lied about it!

    I have moon/Aries/10th, opp pluto and quincunx merc & uranus/scorpio/5th. If it matters. Sun/Sag/5th as well.

    He’s Taurus sun/rising/merc, venus/aries/12th, mars/pisces/12th. His venus is opp Pluto and quinqunx uranus. He’s got a yod Merc/Pluto/Neptune

    Basically I’ve come to the conclusion that he’s a slippery shit who emotionally/psychologically abused me because I was open with him about my feelings, especially about his drunken behavior, and told him too much. He gaslights me and when I call him out, he complains that his “crazy stalker is at it again”.

    Sometimes he calls from a blocked # and hangs up. Happened right before valentines day, too. And in 2010, made a fake FB account and friended me.
    I said I was going to a basketball game w/my bf and he commented that he’d see me there etc. We actually had a FB interaction about the game afterwards.

    I always knew it was suspicious and I pretty much figured it was him the whole time, it was a new account. Fake-ass had a few friends, one in common with Real-ass. Also fake-ass had the same birthday as a friend of mine, then listed he had a sister with same first name.

    True, I’ve done some stupid things, but I’ve never laid a finger on him except that one night together, which I stopped because he irrumated me.

    (Part of me still cares for him even though I know he’s just trying to get a reaction from me, but sometimes I’d love to punch him in the face.)

    I do want to say, after a long struggle, I’m getting better. I’ve got people who know I’m not making this shit up.

  4. Well I online stalked someone and called their house when I had their cell 😕 And I completely messed up what could have been a friendship and now thinking back its hilarious cause the mom answered the phone and even then it was a big deal !

    I am never gonna do that to her or like her anymore its like come on get over it you big old loser NERD! So yeah Im over it… Well this person is just a fleeting muse. I am a musician/poet so its usable but its stupid. Right now my muse is America and her ways 😉

  5. I won’t stalk, but obsessing and obsession is basically more or less how my mind operates. You can’t take the Pluto out of a Plutonian you know?

  6. I think Iron Maiden summed it right up!

    I have been known to drive a thing or two into the ground and break it off. But my mind is obsession driven at times.

  7. lol!! That about sums it up for me, too. Good one.

    I’ve been obsessive about people re: romance (8th house Venus in Tau, Sun there in Aries too, and an insecure Venues/opp Nep/square Saturn T-square). But I have never actually stalked anyone, happy to say. A little cyber-stalking, but not actual.

    There had been a decades-long dry spell from obsessing, then almost two years ago, my pr Venus and tr Pluto started opposing, while pr Juno moved to my MC–it seemed to come on really suddenly, and gosh, what a pain in the butt it’s been! I hate living in such a fantasy, and am really aware that it is one, but only this month, as the Plut/Ven opposition seems to be abating, am I starting to feel more, er, grounded (nothing like Saturn retrograding in your 2nd too in Sco to stem that tide, and wake you up to reality, finally, about what your actual worth is, and about the Plutonian state in general–good thing fer us sun in the 8th housers!).

    I’d say it’s all stemmed from loneliness and advancing age, not anger, per the other post. Good thread!

  8. I stalked a boyfriend when I was 17. He was my first everything and we were together for 2 years. I found out he had been cheating on me the whole time we were together and so I went psycho, I was always checking to make sure he was where he said he was…I drove by his house, went through his bedroom, his car, etc…he ended up braking up with me for someone else and I just went off the deep end. I was constantly driving by his house and calling. He had a restraining order put on me and changed his phone number. Then I just went into self destruction mode. Became an addict and a stripper, I stopped caring about myself. Didn’t help that he would lure me back for sex. He was a manipulator and most likely a sociopath. Some years later he begged me back and said he had
    turned his life around and that it would me a miracle from god if we could be together…he said he never stopped loving me and that was the reason for his divorce he had just been through. His wife “knew” how much he loved me and couldn’t handle it. Just a bunch of bs. He has tried to friend me on facebook several times and writes me these long messages. I have Venus/Pluto in opposition. He has Pisces rising and a stellium in libra/Virgo with Venus in scorp in 8. I did learn a lot from that situation and I no longer “stalk” physically. Just obsess.

  9. What about the victims of stalking? What is the astrology? Has anyone heard of organized gang stalking? I am a victim od this. I have Pluto in the 12th house squaring Moon in Scorpio in the 3rd house.

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    Elsa..i totally need to order a personalised transit & natal report from you after reading this..

    thanks for posting eye opener indeed. 🙂

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    im pretty sure i have venus trine pluto..will certainly be checking my natal chart now.

    would this mean im a candidate for stalking..?
    im not sure how to interperate a trine with pluto & venus..?

  12. It’s interesting that the comments from the older “Astrology and Psychology of Stalking” thread (three years ago) contains comments mainly from stalkees while this current thread has more people admitting to being the stalker. Why might that be? I tend to obsess but I try to let it reside in my mind and not my actions. My “new pal” at the parts store up and ignored me the other day. I mean, it was really obvious and really purposeful. I’ve got no idea why but I’m cutting my losses on this one. Not going back. The ball can sit on the ground on his side of the court until it rots. No good can come of pursuing someone who does not want to be pursued.

  13. Thanks! Hopeless as it is, Elsa, I continue asking myself what I did wrong. Was I too friendly, too intrusive, too available, too eager? Did I say the wrong thing or give the wrong appearance for my intentions? All this inner head scratching drives me nuts. Sometimes I just don’t get it, returning empty-handed from my soul searching. Surely I did something horribly wrong yet I am blind to what it might be. Of course, as Scorpio, I want to know everythig. All the same, whatever I’ve done wrong can’t be corrected so I have backed off existing in this person’s life. Such a loss but I’m not clear for who yet.

  14. “How can I miss you when you won’t go away” is so funny. It reminds me of one from highschool; “Don’t go away mad, just go away!”
    Unfortunately, I’m on the receiving end this time! Ha!

  15. Scorpioandproud

    This only happened to me once. I didn’t stalk him but I was so taken with him. A Leo of all things…and I really thought being with him was magical. I was bat-shit crazy about him. And when I wasn’t with him I thought about him all the time. Even thinking about it now makes me LMAO because this is not and has never been my thing. I always stand very close to the exit sign.

    He was always ‘on’ and I have never met anyone with a better sense of humor. Smile would light up a football stadium. I met him during the college years. He was going to be a big shot. He had his baloney together. And he was as much fun as I had ever had with anyone…..

    Problem was he lived about 30 minutes away so I didn’t have any inside scoop/poop on him. We had never traveled in the same circles so I didn’t know enough about him day to day….

    And wouldn’t you know it….come to find out he had a whole team of women that admired him just as I did. HA….Scorp don’t play that. Not only did I instantly find him hideous…I am sure that I have never let myself be that openly crazy about anyone again. To think…he ruined that for me when I was just 21. I have been guarded ever since.

    He contacted me via FB last year. Then went into a schelp about how I ran off….when he was ready. I Laughed MAO again….because first it was funny and second….. he didn’t need another cheerleader clapping for him while he did stand-up. He was so serious. Really? Now your being serious? Sorry, I’m married. Call someone else.

    It was the one time in my life that I would have just walked off with someone and never looked back…no caution, just completely blind crazy about someone. I really could have loved that man. And, he has never been married and has never had children. He lives alone. Said he was happy, I didn’t believe him. And I wont ever respond to another contact attempt. But, before this life is over he will try at least one more time. I don’t know how I know this. I just do.

  16. I am definitely not a stalker. However, I firmly believe that both man and woman deserve “open communication”. When a relationship is over let the man know and lets “communicate”. I would be glad to move on but don’t leave me hanging with no “communication”. This way of being is immature, inconsiderate and downright evil. When a relationship ends that is perfectly fine but before it ends lets give each other one last hug and based on the situation vow to not be vindictive nor malicious towards the other person. Mercury Square Venus did the Trick on my 15 Year relationship and since my Female Friend is not Spiritual enough she is being controlled by the Planetary Transits as we all are but if we had the Knowledge that the Planets actually impact our lives we would be less impulsive, animalistic and erratic. What is the moral of the Story not worth losing a good friend on the long run over “Miscommuncation”. Sometimes a Man is not stalking he just wants Closure in a hopeful Amicable way prior to parting so that it does not sting as much….One suprising little add on here astrologically is that before we ended it I witnessed her Lilith in Leo and when we where at a State National Park going on a Walk we were visited by 2 White Doves which later I found out that she has Chiron in Pisces and we are both due to a Chiron Healing Transit….. How do you like them apples…. crazy!!!

  17. I am obsessed with my ex and I have too much time on my hands. I have struggled with my mutable grand cross all my life but it got much worse when I got a computer and got online in 2000. Met my first husband online. I have Mercury in Pisces in the seventh.

  18. PS I can detach, easily. Very. In fact, I did. Happy to be re-engaging, now (btw, there are multiple layers of reasons why such an exercise is worth it).

  19. Off topic, a little bit.
    I could easily have stalked the places that I knew a person I admired, frequented. I decided not to. Not to make the detours to make that happen… I.E. I chose to not “stalk” that person… who maybe would have been glad, who knows?
    Moot point, because no longer matters.

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    I’m almost always obsessed with somebody but I don’t go where I’m not invited. Never underestimate the ability of oxytocin to make a punk look like a prince.

  21. I am a stalker. I become easily obsessed and have followed men ever since I was a teenager. Scorpio sun and Mercury in the 6th with venus in the 8th in Cap squaring a saturn/pluto/jup conjunction in libra in the 5th. Especially have issues with older married men in positions of power over me, I. E bosses.. Thought it would subside with age but… I’m 38 next month and just met another one this month…. It sucks. Either celibacy or commandment breaker.

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