Dear Elsa,
I am not a “flirty” woman, so when a man takes the initiative to ask me for my number, I’m surprised but flattered and usually give it to them in the hopes of getting to know them better. The problem is that once they get the number, I never hear from them.
Is there some sort of energy I put out that scares them away? And if so, then why do they bother to try to get to know me in the first place?
Wondering Virgo
United States
Dear Virgo,
With Mars conjunct Pluto in the first house and a stellium in Scorpio I am sure you give off nothing but energy… energy that attracts and repels. There isn’t anything you can do about it except for gain awareness so you operate more consciously.
Brace yourself because this next is going to sound like criticism when it is anything but. I am trying to free you here. The only way I know to do that is too offer insight so here goes:
Virgo has a vested interest in being seen as innocent and virginal. If you read your post up there, you will see what I mean. You’re not flirty. You’re not cheap! Why are they bothering you? You don’t want them. You didn’t do anything. Why bother the nun? Why not leave the librarian alone? But this keeps happening so it must have something to do with you and it does. Get this loud and clear:
You exude sex.
This reminds me of a gal I know, she LOOKS like Jessica Rabbit. This gal can’t help but be sexy, she’s got no choice and I expect you’re similar. I also suspect this is unbeknownst to you so what happens is you attract men.
You attract them and they go home with your number and the intention to call you but at some point it hits them – they are afraid. You are maybe a little more to bite off than they think they can chew. I think this is the case and here is the cure:
You have to become aware of who you are and the power you wield. Lose the Mother Theresa routine, stand to your full height and you will find the right kind of man – one that can deal with your level (or rather, your depth) of intensity.
I would also suggest you read everything you can about Scorpio energy and Mars Pluto conjunct. In other words, educate yourself so you can start living… really living.
Good luck.
Oooh, Great advice, Elsa!
She will do just fine after doing her homework.
Wow-this is very timely. Scorp with Virgo rising, lots of other Virgo, and I also wonder what is up since I always get a lot of attention, but I never understand why it stops there. Lately I’ve been thinking that there must be something wrong with me that I am not understanding-literally asking myself, “If I’m so attractive, why don’t I have a boyfriend”-and I’ve been trying to tell myself that it’s because people are not superficial and it’s not enough to look good.
Now, since I think that men actually ARE superficial about women’s looks, this answer doesn’t exactly satisfy. So I think I’m the “problem” and hope that someone sometime is going to break through, because I don’t have a clue.
Hope others have something to say 🙂 I appreciate the input.
Actually, I can feel it’s too intense sometimes. You’re right. It’s more than most men want.
Amen to all that!! I think some of the sexiest women are those who don’t realize that it’s more than just long legs and big tatas but that just sexual power they ooze when they walk into the room. (I get to admit to being one of them now ;-)) Hope she finds her way, the right balance, and she’ll have to beat the phone calls off with a stick!
I was lucky enough to be told by someone I deeply trusted that I came across as a woman who would ‘ask for what I wanted’ and that was why I was confounded by the sexual attraction/repelling I was faced with.
People think ‘You’re too much…I’ll just let you do the asking because you’ll eat me alive if I take matters into my own hands.”
I don’t think it’s more than what most men want (there’s simply too many of them to tell). But it’s true the vibe can be too much for certain kinds of people to feel comfortable approaching.
Another thing: just because you have given a person your phone number doesn’t necessarily indicate you’ve expressed an interest that bolsters their confidence that you’re interested. Just a thought.
Anything with Pluto is touched by super intensity. I have Venus conjunct Pluto…in Virgo. This is very deep, very powerful, very sexy, but very controlled energy. I was also told by many men that I was “too much” for them to handle. Now that I look back…they might have wanted just casual relationships, but a Venus/Pluto in Virgo doesn’t want that…I drew them in, and they weren’t able to handle what they were getting into.
My husband’s Capricorn Sun is trine this conjunction, BTW.
My advice? The right man isn’t going to be scared off by your energy, so wait. Don’t waste your Virgo/Scorpio/Pluto on someone who’s not right for you.
Oh I can relate. Scorpio ASC and Venus in Virgo….At least that’s what I tell myself, that I’m intimidating. I know that I am somewhat attractive, but it has been yeeeeaaaaaars since I’ve been hit on. Which is depressing for a Leo gal by the way 🙂
Or maybe it’s the ring on my finger that scares em off?? hehe.
My husband says he was sooooo intimidated by me when he first met me. He thought I was “high maintenance” but when he got to know me he found out I am not in the least.
I’m one of those rare species that is so 100% loyal and faithful, but damn….I’d like to be hit on again someday.
I also don’t think I am approachable, because I am pretty shy if I don’t know you. I was wanting to ask you Elsa, I don’t have any planets in Aries, and my Mars is in Cancer (boooo!) and I am just trying to summon some martian energy because I have been without that fearless, go-getter, flirty energy my whole life. Any tips on how to incorporate energy that is pretty much absent in your chart??
Lis, it’s interesting that you point out your husband’s sun is trine your Venus/Pluto conjunction. I have found in my own studies that Sun-Venus trines are often enough to overcome squared Suns in synastry.
Think of it as a “weedout process.” If they can’t take an extra step to get to know you better, then they are not worth it 🙂
Sun in Virgo, Scorpio rising, Pluto Virgo & Capricorn moon.
I know of what you speak. Sometimes men just act liked scared bunny rabbits around me. Otherwise they seem disgusted or repelled by me. With tongue in cheek, I always say I’m too much man for any man. I have had two long term relationships with a Gemini and another Virgo but both were dissatisfactory. Sounds like next time I should be checking out the goats…
Togi–goats are good. Their presence in my life has been…whoa. Incredibly good.
Mars-Jupiter near-exact conjunction in Scorpio, Mars loosely conjunct Pluto, Venus square Pluto…So yeah, I know whereof this post speaks, heh.
Unfortunately, I’ve got Venus squaring Saturn and a first house Saturn, so all the Scorpionic whatever has a very thick layer of insecurity and self-loathing on top of it. Not. Fun. Whenever the occasionally interested person is able to ignore my terrifying vibe, I immediately freak out, due to all the self-hating Venus/Saturn goodness. Yeeeeargh.
Shania–Not only is his Sun trine my Venus/Pluto, his Venus (Sag) is trine my Sun (Leo).
this just happened to me, a guy kept asking for my number and if he could call me… he didn’t have his phone on him, but has his friend put it in his phone… he did call about a little bit later after that, to find out where my friend and I were going to be, I called him back and told him and they joined us. All night he keptasking if he could call me and that he was going to call… I have not heard from him. Since I had his friends number I called a few days later to invite them out to where my friends and I were going to be… but he’s still not called… so what am I to think… I”m a cancer… and am like the girls above.. I am attractive, but not egotistical, I have been told I exude sexuality, but don’t think so myself, I normally don’t get hit on or number asked, so when it was I was a little hesitant, but flattered all the same…. so what is it, why doesn’t he call ???
Most lafies are attracted by me only to realise later that they are not heartly attracted but only in a hope to get valubles from me and if they dont they get out of my life.Never experienced true love as i wish.
Virgo sun
Virgo moon
Mercury in Virgo
Pluto in Vigo
Black moon lilith in Virgo
Jupiter conjuct Neptune in Scorpio
Ooh….South node in Virgo too