With Venus squaring Neptune on the midheaven, invariably they have me mixed up with someone and while there are many manifestations, these are the main themes:
1. They think I am a character they have seen in a movie.
The most common projections are Appolonia in The Godfather (peasant virgin Italian girl fantasy), Tita, in Like Water For Chocolate (variation of the same theme plus cooking / mothering) and Vianne Rocher in Chocolat (this one is based on appearance and similar energy combined with the man’s desire to be Johnny Depp).
2. I reject them
I am not interested in the man so they set out to conquer or this one takes the opposite expression, they believe me to be the dominatrix of their dreams.
3. They want to save me
They think they’ve found a diamond in the rough and they set out to rescue me from whatever (poverty, bad manners, whatever they think I have) and polish me up to be their jewel.
4. They want me to save them
Alcoholic or similarly impaired, they think if they marry me I will cure all their ills with the magical elixir I obviously have in copious quantity.
5. Generic girl of their dreams
Unknown origin but I’m HER.
6, 7, and 8, they want a black woman but are scared so get me as surrogate, they want to piss off their parents (usually WASP type) or they actually love me!
I could go on but as you can see all of these imaginings are just that. They have absolutely noting to do with me and the men come up with this stuff in about… oh, 30 seconds or so.
Next thing I know, they’re on their knee promising their undying love and I’m scanning the horizon for the nearest exit, do you blame me?
What’s especially killing is 90% of the time (if not higher) the man does not even like me. There is no me, see?
I am just a HOST for the projection and next up, I will tell you how I feel about this. But first…
How would you feel if this were you? How would you handle it?
ROFLMAO that is definitely the funniest effing thing I have read all day. #6,7,8, bwahahahaha.
“combined with the man’s desire to be Johnny Depp” 🙂 also bwahahaha.
I don’t know how I would feel! I guess I would just screen it out? Make fun of it like you’re doing? I don’t have this experience on the whole but I have had it with one person, who I realized has zero concept of who I am and is just obsessed with his hologram idea of me – but that person is abusive and personality disordered so he’d probably do that to anyone, he’s got enough Neptune of his own. How did I feel? Just dissociated. Still not sure if I had a real emotion other than wanting to go elsewhere, where somebody did know me.
I would just get married to my true love then flash the ring in their face. That might at least cut it down by 20 to 50 percent.
Yeah, but discerning who your true love might be in this sea of supposed devotion is a taller challenge then one might imagine!
O? O!
I wouldn’t like this. I am too much of a queen bee – I want to be known for me, a) because I think that that I am a fairly unique individual 🙂 and b) so I know that that they wouldn’t be looking at every other girl who crossed their path.
I find it hard to imagine… Like one of the other commentors, I also have the friend thing (cancerian stellium in the 11th house) — people expect me to listen (and i do), but marriage? When I was religious and lived in a religious community, i had some offers, but not much in the “secular” world.
It does sound pretty annoying though. I hate it when people don’t get “me” which is usually. And then when someone does, wow… i can’t let them go.
Bella, that is exactly right. It is not flattering when someone ignores your personhood and interacts with their imagination.
This goes in the other direction too.. all the people who tell me I suck all the time. It’s the same phenomena, I call them masturbaters actually and I have for almost 20 years which is how I have been on to this.
Because they are no actually interacting with me, what they are doing is wasting my time. Er… can’t you get a blow up doll for this kind of thing?
Cancer stellium in the 11th here too…i am a good friend. That is all. If this were me I don’t know–i’d be so different- so much frustration that i have now would be replaced with another kind i guess…so either way, blech! 😛
I’d freak the hell out. I’m grateful to be a plain person so I don’t get this kind of crap happening to me, because I very rarely like anyone back PLUS I got raised to go out with whoever asked and “give him a chance.” So I spent a lot of years dating people I had no interest in because mom’s voice was in my head guilting me into it. I feel obligated on some level to be with them because THEY like ME and I can’t afford to be picky ’cause I’m not gorgeous…which is an awful thing to think and I’ve been trying to recover from that thinking for years. I’ve actually managed to turn down a guy or two (though I still feel huge guilt about it to this day). I’d rather not date again until I have even a bit of remote interest in ever seeing the guy again, rather than being quite pleased if I never had to again, but we’re going out on Friday. Bleah!
move on. but it took me a long time to figure that one out. I have had a bad habit of doing it, too…
I’d enjoy the attention. :blush: I’d probably practice on them – practice flirting and attracting and rejecting and all that wonderful stuff.
(There’s a strange sort of balance, I guess: they’re interacting with an abstraction of me, and I’m interacting with an abstraction of them.)
Leo Moon, Venus in Libra.
Well, the things is when the veil drops it’s UGLY. I mean you’re on a date and you open your mouth. Your voice carries – it is not the soft docile voice they imagined you had and they can’t get rid of you fast enough.
This stuff is ugly. I mean, the things I am presenting her… when it takes this form – this is horrendous to live in reality.
I guess it hasn’t taken that form for me, at least that I recall. :/
How I would feel? trapped.
What would I do? run for my life.
I’m not very helpful, I’m sure 🙁
Well, I went through a period in my life with men, in my late teens and early 20’s, before I got married, where they just wanted to have sex with me. They would literally stalk me in the streets, and practically beg me. I have never been able to have a male buddy, unless they were gay, because if they were straight, they always tried to steer it towards the bedroom. I have always attracted sex maniacs and perverts, and for some reason they all assumed I was the same. Maybe this is where my Venus conjunct Uranus came in……but it was also an illusion, because though I am no prude, I was never one to have sex with a man just for the hell of it. Oh God, never. So, marriage proposals, not that many, but come-ons and googly bedroom eyes, oh brother, constantly. So my solution was I married one (my husband is a big-time pervert, but whatever, he’s my pervert).
I was proposed to once by my long-term boyfriend. He was in the hosptial, high as a KITE on oxycodone after breaking a zillion bones in his body (including 2 vertebrae).
“I looooooove you! Marrrrrrry meeeeee!”
I was like, “Um, can we talk about this later?”
Then when I brought it up a few weeks later (off drugs) he was like: “HUH? No way!”
Ha ha…yeah! 6 years later we still aren’t married! LOL
Dorothy that line made me l.o.l. heh.
In my 20’s i was proposed to a bunch & totally uninterested. I would pass the guy to a girlfriend and each one, like 4 in succession, wound up married to my hand off. I sensed the guys were ready and i think this is the case alot of times with guys. It’s like … I guess I’m ready to settle down, she looks okay, all her parts work.
I don’t like it when someone projects their ‘stuff’ on me. Just wasted a year on that.
My favorite line of Elsa’s about a guy not seeing who she really is was: “Jeez, didn’t you see I was wearing a purple skirt???? I hate suntan pantyhose.”. I could watch that video all day long.
I had on a GOLD hat too, bought for me by scorpio. Dracula on the story about huge breasted Candy that I never finished.
And then I got some blue suede platform pumps with the Leaning Tower of Pisa on the heel
https://elsaelsa.com/astrology/2007/03/17/eclipse-in-pisces-conjunct-pluto-in-aspect-to-my-moon-will-she-let-go-of-her-blue-suede-shoes/
And that pretty much ended our relationship…. which was the quasi-intention of my sister and I when we decided I ought to buy them…
I love that movie Chocolat. Unfortunately I wouldn’t know how to handle that situation. I avoid guys in general except for my husband and his Friday friends. I guess I’d be like you and looking for an exit.
@Dorothy- I also attract the sex maniacs and perverts. Something I will never understand – at least I think there must be something in my chart that brings it on? But I don’t know what it is…
I have Virgo rising, I don’t smile– I don’t know what the f**k they see.
And then sometimes I think the non-smiley types of women get a certain type of freaky creep. In fact, on some days, the more unwashed I am, the more I get it…
This thread triggers sadness in me, because I have frighteningly similar experiences with men. I date ’em once and they automatically start thinking of me as part of a twosome- and they’re the two in the some. It just makes my soul shrink. How about getting to know me first? The worst part is as you say, when the veil drops.. Anyway, I don’t have Venus Neptune, but I do have Venus in the 7th.. and it’s trine Uranus.
Wow, I really can’t relate to this. I’ve got Venus conjunct Saturn and square my Cappy Moon, so nobody even gets close to me unless I want them to. The only man who’s ever proposed to me is my husband, after we’d already discussed marriage for like a year.
That said, this shit would bother me to no end. No, it’s not flattering to have your personhood ignored by guys living out some fantasy.
I have venus in leo close to the MC but not on it and it’s square Neptune in Scorpio which is on my descendant. I am not sure how this plays out in my chart. I have had many strange encounters but no proposals. I think my excessive pluto overpowers everything else and men are scared of me. Too bad cause my venus in leo really just wants to be adored.
Togi, I totally relate to the excessive pluto. I have Scorpio rising and sun conjunct mars and pluto. Apparently I intimidate men. They seem to be fascinated by me but terrified of me. The other thing I get is men (total strangers) looking at me like they want to just grab me and **** me. It used to frighten me when I was younger but now I can handle it with looks of total contempt! The pluto thing is hard – it is a very powerful energy and I have learned that it has to be harnessed so it can be used for good rather than letting it abuse me. My Leo MC wants adoration too!
This thread reminds me of another angle. I get the projection stuff from women. Not romantically, but friendship-wise, they project their view of me onto me. And rarely am I who they think I am and the veil does get removed, as has been described here- and it’s an odd thing how others will insist that they know who you are and get angry that you don’t match up with their projection
And like some others here, my Venus (in Leo) just wants to appreciated and adored- but for ME, not for an illusion
I just have such a hard time comprehending your blessing/curse. People are always projecting on me, but they project their fears…so it’s like I’m a walking nightmare instead of you, their walking dream gal.
I often get the ones who want someone overwhelming, but then freak out when they get overwhelmed.
Men are strange.
would this be made worse by having neptune transit your first house? Cause i know that you have cap on the ascendant, as do i (28 degrees), and neptune has still not left my first house. (meaning that was this neptune-midheaven aspect energized when neptune transited your 1st house)
ah, my mistake, I somehow assumed you had neptune natally in the 12th (slippery thinking, since i have neptune there ), but I realize that’s not the case. I wonder if Neptune transiting the first house though, would have a similar effect, or would it be more personally affective?( like not how others see you, but your own inner self )
jo, yep I have Neptune on the midheaven sq Venus in the 7th. It is really a perfect storm for it be this way. Like I said, people have been trying to marry me since I was 12 – it is a phenomena and it’s no joke.
ah, wow. okay i get it now, it’s weird how to consider how planets are arranged in the natal chart, like after having stepped back from their individual meanings.. a lot of times they seem so strategically placed, like an emphasis on a certain sign/energy/planet, and so forth.
well, there is lots at play here. Venus in the 7th rarely has trouble attracting a partner. Uranus in the 7th gives the sudden attraction / love at first sight
Uranus is in aspect (tight) to Jupiter expanding the effect and then Neptune on the midheaven makes me just whatever people want to make of me when I am out in public.
Also this is just one form this takes. I have people suddenly turn on me – love me and then hate me for no reason I can point to.
I have gone from “most beautiful woman in the world: to “Nigger who will make nigger babies” without so much as changing a hair on my head to it’s both bewildering (Neptune) and shocking (Uranus).
Sorry for the N word, but it was the one that was used (repeatedly).
dorothy, you’re cracking me up. got one of my own pervs at home, too. 😆 our scorpio mars do just fine together.
people don’t tend to project their fantasies on me, thank god. i know it would drive me batty. instead, i have people chonically underestimate me. maybe it’s neptune opposing the midheaven? dunno. while it’s annoying, i have no doubt it’s much less painful to deal with than the flip side of being pursued as a fantasy.
Okay, I know this is old but I have to comment anyway. Something very similar happens to me. I like to have male friends, but I usually don’t because of it. I know what you mean about unflattering. Like I’m good enought to date/marry, but not good enough to be friends with. So, my purpose in life is being half of a couple and that’s all? Now that I’m married, the men actually get mad at me when they find out. Even if they just freaking met me. (Really, I’m not flirty and I usually bring up my husband as soon as I get the vibe, I wear a big filigree wedding ring for Christssake!) Are they mad because I am married, or mad because I won’t leave my husband for them? I don’t know.
Also, I think that’s terrible what a previous commentor said about feeling guilty for not “giving someone a chance.” Going out with someone you don’t like is a waste of time for you both. Trust your gut! God/nature gave you intuition for a reason. Any guy who holds a grudge because you wouldn’t “give him a chance,” is most likely a control freak anyway.
It’s why I always disappoint so they say and am alone but still there is a glamorous something about this Neptune/larger than relative reality space that I wouldn’t want to be without. I hope their happy when they go. I try to think we’ll of them.