What About True Love & Soulmates?

heart loveMy husband and I met as teenagers. We had a significant relationship but failed to marry! We went our separate ways but got back together, more than 20 years later. 

This conversation was recorded in the truck when he was moving cross-country to join our lives, forever.

“It’s hard to believe we’re here,” I said. “Back after all these years. This was more believable a few days ago than it is right now. I am just stunned we are hear. Did you ever dream this in your life?”


“Well what do you make of it?”

“I think it shows there is one soul out there for every other soul. And sometime in your life you will run across them. But there is free will so you can mess it up. People who should end up together don’t always end up together because they mess things up. And if you are not with the soul you are meant to be with you will never be happy… on that level.”

“I see.”

“We’re lucky we get a second chance. Don’t you think we’re lucky?”

“Yes, very lucky. Inordinately lucky.”

What do you think of love? Is there one soul for every soul or can any number of people successfully partner with a specific soul? Do you have an alternative theory? Where is your Venus?

39 thoughts on “What About True Love & Soulmates?”

  1. You know, your story with the soldier gives me hope. I do believe in soul mates, and for me, soul mates are people who come in and shake things up, pour light into the dark recesses, reflect things that you do that you don’t always want to see, but in the end, if they’re really your soul mate, you bring out the best in each other and sometimes the worst. But always, there’s this feeling of, if this person had never come into my life, I would have always lived in the dark, but now I’m in the sunshine and I could never live in the dark again. I had someone like that, and it gives me real hope to see that you two were able to have a second chance, that maybe I can too. I know in my heart that we can’t all have that. I’m so happy for you. I do believe you have your freedom, and as jupiter inches closer to my saturn, which is consequencely part of that jupiter-uranus sexitle, maybe I’ll be given some freedom as well. And it was always my opinion that the people who appreciate freedom the most are those who have truely known what the meaning of restraint and oppression is.

  2. …venus in aries…

    I don’t think there is only one person for everyone. I think, instead, that there are different people for different parts of your life. Otherwise, you would have to consider that you’re wasting your time with anyone but said soulmate, despite the fact that these other people you’ve truly loved in your lifetime prepared you to be ready to receive the final soul you touch.

    Despite the fact that I divorced him, I do not regret my time with my ex-husband, because being with him helped in no small part my evolution to the woman I am today. Which made me a great complement to the man I’m engaged to now. And the fiance and I agree that, had we met anytime before the moment we did, we would’ve gone down in flames, because we weren’t ready for each other back then.

    Speaking of love, if you get a minute (and I know you’re in between things), could you tell me if there’s any significance in picking a wedding date? Like there is something between two charts and the wedding date? (We’ve picked 7 June 09)

  3. That’s so exciting!
    I don’t think there’s only one soul for us. I believe (and I hope) we can be happy with different people. I also don’t think there’s anyone out there that completes you. It’s up to us to feel complete with the resources we have within. (Somehow this doesn’t sound like Venus in the 7th at all)

  4. Hey Daeshii, congrats!
    Elsa, you and the Soldier definitely seem to fit the bill of ‘one soul’ that’s for sure! I don’t know if I am that type of Venus.

    I also have Venus in Aries (conjunct Mars) in a grand Fire trine with Nepune/Saturn…that Neptune has me feeling some days my soul could join anyone’s (and frankly, from the weirdness of my previous choices, it has!)

    I can definitely see the restrictions of my thinking.

  5. i have venus in scorp.

    no, i don’t believe there is one and only one true soulmate for each of us. i also think different partners can sometimes be “right” for different times in a person’s life, and even a partnership that doesn’t turn out “successfully” in terms of happiness can add a lot to your life in terms of understanding and growth. different people serve different functions in your life and personal evolution.

  6. I feel so shallow. I met a man ten days ago at a concert. It was very dark, and he was wearing a hat. He actively pursued me, and found out I was a widow. It turned out that he was a widower –Woah!
    He proceeded to give me his name and #, which he wrote on a $20 bill, and asked me to please call him.
    I called him two nights later and we talked for 5 hours on the phone. We had so much in common, and he was everything I wanted to find in a man. He is sweet, has his act together, is a great father, and was a great husband. He is intelligent, tall, generous, open with his feelings, and confidant. He also through the phone wires made me feel feminine, and secure, and loved.
    We made a date to meet last Friday night. We were both giddy whith anticipation of seeing each other.
    WELL……… I am completely not attracted to him, physically. Even though I had met him already. He looked nothing like I remembered, and the hat he wore at the concert, covered up gigantic ears, and really weird hair. In short, there were many things about him that turned me off. For example, I couldnt wait to kiss him, but he doesnt have any lips. The mere thought of it repulsed me. I was very kind throughout the evening, but I couldnt hide the vibe. He picked up on it, and walked away like a gentleman.
    I feel like I am walking away from something that could have been really wonderful, but there is no sexual chemistry.
    Do you think I’m being shallow?
    Do you think you can make yourself love someone?

  7. I agree with the philosophy that before we are born we plan out the major experiences we want to have and what we want to learn, we plan on meeting other souls (maybe some we have met many times before) at certain points and we make contracts for the imortant stuff like marriage and children. It doesn’t mean there aren’t other souls that we might get along with very well, but some of us have known each other for so many lifetimes that we want to stick together. That’s what I think.

  8. I think with some people there might be one person, and there might be multiple people for some, and there might be NO people for others. It seems to work out that way…

  9. Venus in Aries in the 9th House

    I think there are soul mates out there – but not that many. I have run into two, and yes they both messed it up. To this day they both regret it. Long Stories. I do think your friend is right – it is hard to be happy in relationship if you are not with the right person. All the luck to you. Here is to second chances!


  10. i think there’s at least one. but the time we’re given is limited and the stories can be complicated.
    and sometimes love requires things a little different from what we may want from it.
    but i think love is one of those sorts of bonds that lasts past death. we have a lot of opportunities to “get it right.” (whatever that means.)

  11. Yeah, I kept trying ALL THE TIME to make myself even LIKE someone who likes me back (things would be so much easier if I just wanted to fish from the people who want to be in my pool), but I can’t stand it! Every nerve in my body screams RUN AWAY!

  12. Venus is exalted in Piscis then there are many souls (piscis)for only one soul: we should love our neighbour as ourself…quite a difficult challenge…must admit.

  13. Have to go with Libra and say I can’t decide . . . Venus in Sagittarius. Because I have felt I’ve found my soul mate several times over the years and yet I’m quite happy with the Aries I’m now married to.

    But I’m THRILLED for you, Elsa!! Enjoy your “in-between” time to the hilt as I know you will. Journeys like yours always have a time out feeling to them IMO, sorta like when the Moon is void-of-course. 😀

  14. Here’s a cup raised to Elsa and the soldier in one hand, a bouquet of flowers in the other, and here’s wishing you both the best of everything!

    I agree with posters who said we all sit down in the Spirit World and chart out our blueprints for the things we need to learn/do while we’re here. I also believe that each soul has a twin soul, and sometimes we get to be with them here in this world, and sometimes we don’t, depending on what we’ve come here to learn or unlearn.

    And I’m especially thankful to Mari, who wrote in another thread, that we attract the same amount of love to our selves as we have for ourselves, and so she tells herself “Infinite love and gratitude to me!” which turned on a big light for me – thanks, Mari.

  15. Hi Jerri – you can learn to have affection for someone, but you can’t make yourself love them. You’re not shallow. You’re doing this guy a favour by not initiating any relationship with him – he’ll be able to fing someone else, someone who will have chemistry with him.
    I’m sorry for your disappointment though.

  16. My theory is that when we “mess up” things it’s because one or both people involved are not ready for this relationship, otherwise it would happen. There are experiences we need to make, and sometimes we can only make them outside of this relationship, or alone. Once we made these experiences we may get a “second chance” with a person we already loved before, which is actually not just a second one, but a new and unique chance on a new level of awareness and love. And it transmutes all previous experiences. Venus in Cancer conjunct Uranus square Saturn-Neptune.

  17. We’ll see lol. I just met someone who fills a lot of the criteria i’m looking for and he makes me laugh and teases me, and i feel really secure with him. Having read Elsa’s story and how she relates to her soldier, I’m more open to actually partnering with someone very different than me – someone jupiter is in my 6th/7th. From the meeting and how our sharing progressed through the evening I hope he calls to ask me out again. If he does and things develop then I’ll say yes because there is a lot about it that seems fated. 🙂 If not then here’s to hope that I’m getting closer to my dream!

  18. I think true love that endures for so long like that is actually rare. I agree with the soldier. There is one soul for each other soul, and it is a privilege not a right to meet them. Just because there is genuine love between two people doesn’t mean life circumstances will create a second chance to get it right. And I agree, you can’t really be happy on that level if things get messed up. It’s kind of amazing that some people value this kind of love less than other things in the world – to the extent that they try to fit love in their lives when it suits them, on their schedule, under their control, as if it were always available. Love breaks people in, I think, not the other way around.

    Knowing that, there is a time for everything, and the time has to be right between two people for it to endure. It all comes down to respect. When two people respect themselves and each other, there can be separation and unification till they get it right – without either party needing to ‘mess things up’ for good.

    7th house capricorn moon conjunct neptune; 10th house venus in aries conjunct sun/mars, trine uranus

  19. I think that people can have more than one “soulmate” in a lifetime…some more profound than others, but you can connect on that soul-deep, “feel them in my bones” level with more than one person, sometimes at the same time (not recommended for the inherently jealous, insecure, or guilt-ridden). I think there are people you definitely click with, and people who grow on you, but to think that of all the billions of people on this planet, all age groups, all races, colors, genders, etc. etc…that there could only possibly be ONE person that is a “true” partner and the rest are just “less than”…that just doesn’t ring true to me.

    That being said, I’m glad that you have a soulmate in the soldier, and that you have the good fortune to come back together as you have. 🙂 Go go Elsa!

    Venus in Sagittarius.

  20. I don’t know if I believe the “one soul for another” thing — I’ve had a few successful relationships (I mean, if you count success like, I fell in love, I learned some things, they’re still good people, and I regret very little) and I am currently in one where I am … well, I don’t even know. I’m pretty happy where I am right now. I feel really lucky. I felt lucky with the ex (Taurus with a Scorpio moon), too: but mostly it was because I never really felt like I deserved him or that I was good enough and now I have realized that he sort of exploited that.

    The fact is that with my past relationships, I always sort of felt like I had to shrink myself into a box or embody an ideal (Venus in Virgo) and be everything to one person (Leo sun) and gosh darn it I don’t want to jinx anything but it is pretty nice being with this Aquarian with his head in the clouds. I ask him “What are you thinking?” and I genuinely have no idea what he is about to say. It’s awesome.

  21. I agree with everybody (too much Libra!). And I have to say that I especially agree with peppermint in that I think we already charted out our relationships from A to Z. As Mark Hussen (a gifted astrologer) says, we are destined to meet our soul mates, and they may sometimes actually be our advesaries, as soul mates are here to teach us life lessons (he gives a whole new meaning to the term soul mates).

    I’ve observed lots of old (“mature”) couples in my time. And enviable and rare are the ones that have a true connection of love and respect, you can just see it, even if they argue, the light is there. And then there are the ones that have been together for decades, you see them in the grocery stores, and (usually) she is just berating, bitching, beating him down, while he is so demure, makes me want to cry for him.

    So I think we get to choose. Like how and if we learn the lessons that come our way, and do the self examination and heart/psyche/cellular/soul healing along the way. I don’t know how many times I’ve had the same guy or friend (different names and places) but essentially the same pattern, that just left me misunderstood and disrespected or whatever…

    For the last few years, I have wanted to be alone. I’m still not sure I want to give up my space, my time for myself. But I have no doubt that if I put my intention towards manifesting a relationship, that it would happen, but I know I need to be really clear on Exactly who I want. What an adventure!

    And thank you Peppermint (Patty!), check out Daryl Weissman who developed this (Life Line) technique. There are other powerful clearing techniques I’ve learned, but I use this as a mantra in the night when I have insommnia, (with the I Love You ‘deaf’ hand mudra over my heart, my 2nd chakra relationship, my 3rd chakra self esteem, my head 7th chakra universal/spiritual energy, my 5th throat self will/expression etc.) to replace anxious feelings and thoughts, and voila, over the past week, I feel generally balanced, yeah still some(in fact, lots of) shit to clear, depending on the moon, but so much more loving toward heretofore ‘enemies’, hope it keeps on keeping on…

  22. Everyone in my life completes me in one way or another. I don’t know if there is any one person who is my “soul mate” it’s a nice idea.. but also a frightening idea for those who are currently single. Especially if you can mess it up. You could say “what if so-and-so that I broke up with years ago was supposed to be my soul mate?”

    But I’m not going to worry about it. Anyone who you choose to love, can, over time, feel as though you cannot be separated from them. But love takes work. patience, generosity… I believe that if both sides put in equally then both sides will get satisfaction from the relationship.

    I also think that you can be happy with anyone who has a lot of Jupiter aspects to your chart.

    Venus in Virgo, 7th house.

    on my venus and the subject of love… I’m both drawn and repelled by the idea of a “soul mate,” because while that would be lovely.. I don’t really want to depend on anyone that much.

  23. This is such a great post! So many great comments!

    i like Mari’s question from another thread.
    ‘do you ever get feelings when you meet someone that you have a strong connection already?’

    And Carielle… to think that of all the billions of people on the planet…

    Many years ago, i went to a meditation group where we had a guest who could open the door for people to experience their past lives. Almost everyone there did experience another life and it was a large group. My own experience was profound. My mother in this life was my wife in that life. To keep a long story short, I charged out on the battlefield on horseback carrying a lance and was killed by someone charging towards me carrying a lance.

    The impact to my solar plexus popped me back into my waking state…like you sometimes pop back into your body when you are having an out of body experience.

    i do believe that we can connect with many souls from previous lifetimes for a variety of reasons and that sometimes we could connect as soulmates. i am married to one of them and it is very karmic. Many of the people that we brought with us into this relationship are also karmic relationships.

    Have i met other soul mates? Absolutely. But i am happy, i am in love, and i am faithful and loyal, so i would not change anything.

    but when i meet someone with a soul connection to me i can feel the cosmic energy soup that Deepak Chopra writes about and i want to say thank you dear old friend for finding me again!

    venus in libra

  24. Well, people (can) do evolve, maybe not ‘change’ fundamentally, but grow. Resulting in shifting direction away from some and towards some others. Like, “I learned my lesson here, adios, painful as it may be for me or for you, I reckon it’s time to move on, pardner.”

    But beyond that, I think we have contracts set up. Like you, Randamandar, decided to hook up and have a beautiful partnership and loving relationship (probably after some trial and error?), maybe because you’ve worked out, come to terms with, so to speak, this aspect, and/or are here to learn other lessons, at least in this time/space continuum? I heard today (ok is this too woo woo?) that we carry on our main relationships in different personalities/relationships from life to life, like you said, R.

    Last year, I told a friend that I could clearly see that his girlfriend had been a princess and he her slave in a former life. And hadn’t quite resolved that as it was still playing out.

    And, oh my god! Rand, I too, had a wound (to the chest) from a lance on horseback in midieval battle. I was feeling this bad pain in the center of my chest last year, and that’s what came up. Was that you, you bastard? Well at least I killed you first, ha ha

    Well, as Denise Linn advises, I changed the story, my armour protected me, and the physical pain went away.

    OK, I’m the last person to give advice about finding The One, but from what I’ve heard, you make a list of very specific qualities that you require. Isn’t that always the catch re: everything? What Exactly do I want?

    venus in Sag

  25. Hi Mari- i never made a list. i really think that i was young and i stepped off the cliff like a fool but found that someone or something was guiding me. When i look back now it all makes sense. i do believe in some predestiny but also that we can play the best hand with the cards that we are dealt and that this can make a big difference. not sure where this comes from astrologically but pisces ascendant and some planets in libra might contribute.

    I don’t know. It looked a little like Mont St. Michelle. I am pretty sure it was Normandie. Were you there? Any way, this solar plexus chakra of mine can act like an early warning system.

    i have Denise Lynn’s ‘Sacred Spaces’ beside my bed right now. i have been reading it in small doses as there is so much else going on in my life right now. but i am learning some interesting things that will likely prove to be useful this spring.

    Is ‘woo woo’ the sound the train makes as it is pulling out of ‘this town is too weird for most folks’?

    good luck, take care

  26. Thanks, R

    Not sure where exactly it happened, there were hundreds of men on horses and a lot of heavy armor involved. I’m sure Europe during the Crusades, didn’t they go on for hundreds of years?

    Then also, last year, I got a very bad inexplicable pain on the side of my knee, could barely limp along. So I tried a little journey into the past just for the heck of it, and I could see me. On a horse again but in the Civil War, I knew that leg would have to be amputated. So, again, I did as Denise advices and went back and changed the story and had nearly instant and total relief. Maybe it’s only just the power of the mind.

    She talks about how we maybe took vows of poverty or vows of chastity in another lifetime and that can be so strong that they can carry over to this life so that it’s hard to attract prosperity….and P or P, fill in the blanks..

    I’ve also heard some people say that most if not all the major players in our lives tend to move on and reincarnate together, boy does that sound incestuous.

  27. I think some people have one soul mate, some may have multiple people/options, and some just have none at all. You can definitely think of people you know who are just not up to relationships, so there’s no point in them having any, right? So it can’t exist for everyone. Why some get lots of opportunities and others don’t, I don’t know.

  28. Venus in Gemini. I don’t think there’s necessarily only one person for everyone, but maybe for some people this is true.

  29. I agree with Dolce in the above post.

    My Venus is in Aquarius (a slighly impersonal love-venus.)

    I’ve met two soulmates in this life.

    The first one I dated between 19-21 and he wasn’t as compatible as the second soulmate (my husband, who is more compatible with me at 70-ish% compatibility, I’d say.)

    I think there might be some other soulmates for me out there who I’ll never met, or who will be great friends only.

    On second thought I have two or three female friends who are definitely soulmates.

    For some people it seems only one person is their soulmate.

  30. Shit, shit, shiiit Elsa!

    I met my soulmate in high school at 16, we were engaged at 17, he left school to go to the army, got meningitis, organs almost shut down, his parents had a police escort to the hospital as they thought he would die. He pulled through and finished his basic training (you should see his chart it’s something else, Yods, Royal stars, asteroids on angles, moon exactly conjunct pluto, lots of outer planet action, 6!! Planets retrograde) came home and shortly after his parents had a horrible acrimonious separation, things spiraled down for us shortly after that, he completely unraveled. That all happened around our first nodal returns.
    He contacted me 3 years ago after no contact at all for 16 years, we’ve been chatting like old times, we’re going through our 2nd nodal returns now. When I got his birth time from him and saw the composite I understood, there is a grand fire trine kite with Pluto/Saturn in Libra at the tip conjuncting the IC, mars conjunct Jupiter in Scorpio, Venus trine Uranus…..
    We can’t be together. Not cool Universe!! NOT cool! ?
    Do you have a strong composite with your husband Elsa?

  31. Your husband is really smart. There’s probably an ideal soul match but also others who are close enough to mr/mrs right and I agree that with free will we could miss a soul mate. It takes two to tango.

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