Someone asked me about envy. I’m grappling with how to handle the question. In the meantime, here’s an earlier post.
People do all kinds of mean and crazy things, driven by jealousy. I seem them build a case against a person or persons, totally unaware of what’s driving them.
Maybe they feel the person who has what they want, does not deserves what they have. But I don’t know how they’d know that.
I have never been a particularly jealous person. I don’t know why this is. I grew up waiting on people. I was just always glad they had some money to tip me with!
Talent is another thing people are jealous of. This is a little easier for me to understand for some reason.
Are you able to overcome your jealous feelings or do you just live with them?
Have you ever acted out against someone you were jealous of? If so, did it make you feel worse…or better?
Ill show my ugly side here:
I admit I can be a jealous person. I plot revenge in my head like a movie of what will happen. Although I never carry it through (instead bury the anger), it just fuels the rage.
I have Mars square Saturn and Venus square Pluto natally, all making squares to either Pluto or planets in Scorpio.
I tend to get upset when people seem to be coasting through life while I’m struggling. And I admit I’ve given up on a lot of goals I deem will never come into fruition. I have a high desire for what I want life to be, but somehow my psyche holds me back… usually through low self-esteem. I get jealous when I see happy couples or people with great careers, cars, money, fashion, etc.
Many of these situations have happened at work with authorities or managers (these squares all hit my second house of income). I have been so vengeful to the point, after my former manager and I got into an arguement, I plotted in my head to steal the car keys (new car) out of her purse and drop them down a sewer grate. I’ve had many instances like these, but I can never get myself to actually doing it because a part of me takes over (compassion and empathy)
I usually put up with it… bury it, then move on. It stays at the bottom, waiting to kill me.
Thanks for your candor, Mike.
The uncanny thing, believe it or not, is that most of my managers were water signs… right now I work two jobs and both my managers are Scorpios.
My old manager was a Scorpio. Before that I worked for a nasty Cancer, a Pisces, then previously another Scorpio! I don’t know why this keeps happening!
(i wouldn’t be surprised if this was fate!)
I have Sun conjunct Pluto, 5th house. Square Mars from 8th house. I feel angry too. Extremely angry. But I can’t express it. It makes me sad why I can’t express.
My Mercury conjunct Jupiter in Libra, 6th house. This planet placement stops me communicating my anger. I leave it on the hand of God and move on in my life with broken heart.
Oh yea, I have Venus, 4th house square Neptune, 7th house.
Nice one Mike. I have venus conjunct mercury and pluto in scorpio in the first house. I’m only gealous when I am insecure, and insecurity is just a state of mind it doesn’t really describe who you are.
What is important is that you are aware of your dark side so that it won’t control you.
Little of column A, little of column B. For me, that feeling is generally a sign something is off. I take it as such and then try to figure out how I can fix what’s off or live comfortably with it.
I am possessive, but jealousy I have never related to.
I have been on the receiving end of talent jealousy & it SUCKs
When I was in high school and met my first boyfriend I thought love was eternal and nothing could stand in its way. I am by nature idealistic. So when we had our first bump in the road I became very jealous of a non-threat person to our relationship. I quickly realized that the person who truly was hurt by that attitude was me. My ego and self-esteem took a beating that I was not prepared to continue with. Since then (and I’m 63) whenever envy or jealousy come into my self-view I deal with them and do not accept their control over me. My first husband wanted me to be jealous and would flirt in front of me – thus he is my first husband, not my husband. His need for attention was not strong enough to stand up to my need of confidence and security which I’ve had for over 25 years of my marriage to my second husband.
I can not understand the emotion of jealousy especially when it is directed towards living things. I must have some because my X would read a book and have the TV on which made no since to me whatsoever. That really bugged me and it made me jealous and I really don’t understand why to this day. I was taught as I was grew up that jealousy was a total wasted emotion and a waste of time and besides that it has the potential to be dangerous to all it touches.
Jealousy is an emotion I used to try to stuff down to silence. Astrologically Chiron is part of a stellium in Scorpio that squares Mars-Saturn-Pluto in the 7th and 8th houses. Power struggles have been one of the great lessons for me.
I appreciate the comments here, and relate to many: like Shannon when the feeling comes up I know something is off, it might be something in me/or it could truly be something my husband and I need to work through. My security alarm’s hair trigger may need to be adjusted. I pay attention to the alarm, I write my way through. When I was very young and first married my husband then played at triggering jealousy. That Chiron-Mars-Pluto squaring is there as a constant reminder to attend to issue(s) of jealousy. When my physical health is taxed, those jealousy hair triggers are often calmed/ the ‘safety’ must kick in. Odd.
Good post, and thread Elsa. Not an easy one to respond to … but I appreciate the space for it.
I’m Scorpio moon and oh do I get jealous!!! I feel I get jealous through my libra-Asc/Aries-Dsc through relationships/friendships/networks. If the libra scales get tipped from me bending backwards too far and getting no proper reciprocrcity of loyalty then out comes the Scorpio venom things. My Scorpio moon in BIG on loyalty and if that loyalty is betrayed, I do horrendous acts like blackmail and digging up secrets for the public to see. I go from charming sweet dimples libra to vindictive black magic Scorpio witch if I get crossed. How can a person declare their loyalty to someone else after everything I’ve done and sacrificed for that person???
I don’t envy another person’s talent per say, because I know I myself have a lot of unique gifts that others do not have. I’m a jack of all trades, and probably a master at some, but that’s some, not all. I hero worship those with talent, usually. I love to basque in their essence, because I am attracted to greatness. When someone is good at something, I am drawn to them. Again, the hero worship comes into play. I become their devoted servant for some reason.
I justify it by thinking, I have very high standards, so if you can impress me, that says something…
Relationships are completely different, because you are dealing with my heart, emotions, and mind. I may have a Sagittarius Moon, and a lot of fire, but I have a lot of water, too. I’m Scorpio rising with an 8th house Sun. I’m too deep and intense (ugh, sounds so blasé) for most in a relationship; I’ve been told this several times. I get jealous when you don’t pay attention to me, when you ignore me, when you think I’m just blindly trusting and dumb and I can’t see that you are ogling that bitch over there…you know what I mean? Probably not; most of you here appear more secure than that. I’m insecure. I have Pluto in the 12th, and I obsess silently, painfully. I don;t think this makes me a bad person and not even necessarily someone who would be terrible to be in a relationship with; I am who I am, I know I have faults, and being jealous is one of them.
It could be much worse…I could be a psycho killer, or child beater, or one of those gold diggers who smile to your face all the while memorizing your bank account info…
shoot…I forgot to add…I have NOT overcome this completely, although I have improved from my younger days.
That made me go.aww and laugh at the goldigger with a photogenic memory
lol 🙂
Worse. Every time. It doesn’t yield anything that’s useful and productive… you think you’d get your peace of mind back at least by being jealous..but nope….
Mars and Pluto and even Venus rules jealousy I think. It can be overcome by simply understanding that everyone had talents as well as weaknesses.
@amber11, for some reason, i agree with you on venus. lol
I’m scorpio, I have felt jealousy (mostly in the context of love relationships) but to my knowledge have not acted on it other than being sullen and cranky or hiding from my feelings. As I get older I have fewer opportunities or reasons to be jealous as I know who I am now and what my strengths are and that some things are for me and some aren’t. So as long as I’m living the life I was given to the best of my ability it really doesn’t matter what someone else has. First step is acknowledging the feelings though, and I admit that is a weakness of mine.
I have a strong Jupiter influence in my chart, so my expansive prospective is that there is more than enough for everyone. I am not a jealous person. I have however been the subject or maybe object is a better word of other peoples jealousy often in my life. When I was younger it really hurt my feelings but with maturity I have learned not to give it any energy because it is not really about ME at all it is the jealous person’s projection of lack, fear or inadequacy that they are projecting. Jealousy is about how you feel about yourself.
I don’t know…its relative. No matter how good or bad we have it, there’s always someone that has it better or worse. If someone has something I want, I usually get inspired and set out to find a way to have whatever it is or symbolizes myself. May take a long time, but I usually end up having the things I want.
Lol elisa, people think Venus is always so sweet and charming and too sweet to be jealous but it certainly can be.
Someone once told me something that made a real impression on me and it’s something I’ve lived by all my life. It was the mother of a friend. She said if everyone hung out their dirty laundry, you would pull yours in real fast! Meaning … if you want something that someone else has, just remember that you also have to take the ugly stuff too. You can’t just have all the good things they have.
Being a Plutonian type, I don’t really feel jealous of others. I think my Aquarian AC just makes me shrug it off. I might look at someone who has a nice car and if they don’t have a job, wonder how they managed to get it, but I don’t go on and on about it.
And I am not really possessive either because I have learned a long time ago, material things do not last.
Now, I am wondering why I don’t get all jealous over people/things. Lol! Just about every planet in my chart is either touched by Pluto or influenced by Scorpio in some way. I just chalk it up to being a weirdo.
Jealousy is ruled by the eighth house.
Possessions of the other.
“How can it be overcome?”
Fortifying your second house.
I hope everyone has a nice day and is knowing in the fact that it is.
It’s not??
I understand it as gifts others give to 8th house, and the gifts are not necessarily wanted. The 8th is opposite of materialistic because its opposite of the 2nd. No reason to be jealous in this house since there is an innate awareness we can’t take things with us when we die. Jealousy of *inner* things are a different story. Intimacy would be a big one. Power another.
Hells bells, I have an 8th house Sun, and a lot going on in my 2nd house…including Neptune and my Moon. So my 2nd house is often a place of…nebulous fantasy and illusion? So basically, I’m just…left to flap around in the breeze…or current…
Immediately I thought of several people. An old friend who was always upset when others got attention. She was attracted to people who were in the spotlight, but she also disliked it. When a middle aged man was practically molesting another friend, you could see she felt neglected. She only wanted attention because she wanted the option of turning it down. She felt invisible or not worth others people time. This is the only type of jealousy I’ve ever seen up close (allowing others to mark down your self-esteem)so I’m not sure about too many other possibilties.
I had a boss, same one that might give me a bad review, and you can see in her face, expression, and manners that she had a hard life. But I have seen her be very unjust to another coworker (I got burnt by association)and it was obvious that it was because she felt the woman as Elsa put out the possibility “Undeserving”.
Sometimes I think what gives a person what they deem as an advantage in life, good looks, talent and people think that by doing “mean things” will even out their idea of karma or justice because perhaps these “talented” or “good-looking” or “otherwise” folks have “gotten away with things for too long”.
I don’t get jealous often, but once in a while it happens. Usually when I want to work for something, strive for it, can’t seem to achieve it no matter what I do or how hard I try, then see someone who has it given to her/them. I think I’m supposed to believe that if I didn’t achieve it, then it wasn’t meant for me. But if it wasn’t meant for me, why did I want it so badly? Feels like I was created to fail sometimes. I try this thing, don’t achieve, maybe I got something else out of it that turns out to be valuable, but I lose face all the time with my family for this. Trying, not achieving, trying something else. I look/seem flaky. This, in turn, feeds the jealousy.
I also get jealous when I feel I’m being demoted, either professionally or socially, or losing position or status, usually due to popularity games.
I do believe that if my self esteem were in better shape, I’d have fewer instances of jealousy
I get extremely jealous, but it’s because I’m COMPETITIVE (Mars in Leo). Especially when it comes to getting attention (Leo).
I want to win, beat you in a match/comparison, be better than you, etc.
If you win/beat me, I get jealous… if I wanted to beat you in the first place.
By the way, I can like you a whole lot and be jealous of you. I don’t do anything to you or act weird/snubby towards you, but I still have these yucky feelings and this drive…
Sometimes, I end up making subtle improvements to myself based on what I’m jealous of, and I feel better about myself. Ex. I’m jealous that you’re good at X, so I join a club to get good at X. X is something I was originally/innately interested in, but you being good at X spurred me to work on it.
Other times, I just live with it. Or it disappears. Or comes and goes.
Most of the time, I don’t even know why I get jealous, because I don’t even usually care in the first place, lol. It doesn’t make sense, but I randomly get jealous and often don’t do anything about it.
Teresina, it’s interesting for me to hear your perspective. I have good friends who are competitive while I for the most part am not (Mars in Pisces). It seemed to me at times that my friends were somewhat put off by my NOT being interested in competing with them. Almost as if I were insulting them. You would think it would be the opposite. Would be curious to know what you make of that.
@Teresina, wow, that’s a whole lot of motivation, at least the bright side is making improvements.
i have jealousy but it’s more jealous and territorial over my things, my belongings, my people, my home,my possessions, it could be a taurus trait as i’m taurus dominant and it sounds like it. But that’s my intense jealousy. I’m super territorial and possessive. But i’m not the kind of jealous where i see someone have great things/material wise, that doesn’t really concern me. I just lazily think i’ll get it someday, and work for it slowly, and i usually do. And sometimes it gets so realistic for me that i just shrug and don’t bother if it has no use for me practical wise (that could be the capricorn) so after learning astrology i see how jealousy manifests from different dominant energies.
I think the fuel that feeds the fire of jealousy is simply the fear that your human supply lines of love, sex, admiration and security are going to be siphoned off or cut by someone else’s beauty, talents, sweetness, etc. The bile maybe is generated by a concern over loss of resources.
I can be jealous, definitely. Have Pluto, Uranus, Lilith and Juno in the 8th, but I tend to avoid the people I find myself feeling that way about when possible. I’m a Scorpio moon but find that some Cancer moons put me to shame in the jealousy department. Capricorn moons too, big time. I find when I’m doing something I love and am good at and would do regardless of money, those feelings tend to be less of a problem.
@comfortableDarkness, cap can be super ambitious indeed. (they have their eye on the prize!) i didnt realize cancer, their opposite can also be super jealous, but i’m guessing that is more jealousy and possessive like that of taurus energy and it’s water so it’s more secretive in its jealousy. However, it can manifest itself positively on both cap/cancer axis. At least making money and earning it in what you love/passion is what helps alot! I love reading about these things to understand the motivations behind jealousies.
@elisa You’re right, in my experience Cancer moon jealousy does have a possessive Taurus-like quality to it with the secretive aspect cloaked as motherly pseudoconcern to try to throw you off the scent. The Cap moon jealousy I’ve witnessed is more overt and blunt. Yes, earning money doing something you love is great, and something to be immensely thankful for.
I don’t know if you could call this jealousy, maybe just annoyance, but something I find odd is when someone has seemed bothered by the fact that I don’t care enough to bother competing with them I have Mars in Pisces and am the antithesis of a go-getter. Maybe when deep insecurity is behind someone’s ambition to win more than passion, someone else’s lack of interest going to battle feels like an insult or threat to them?
@elisa The Cap moons and Cancer moons I know are extremely hardworking, disciplined people who bootstrapped themselves to position of considerable success. I admire them for it but find the Cancer moon very judgemental towards this Scorpy moon for not having the same fire to hustle. When that happens, Scorpy makes herself very scarce with no warning :). No judgement at all from the Cap moon.
That and getting what I want in other areas of my life of course :).
is there a cure or resolution for jealousy?? Somehow i dont think so, it is just the way it is. we’re all gonna get super jealous of someone’s stuff or what they have and what we lack to compare, or get jealous of their life or whatever. how can it really get resolved? I guess we just deal with it, at least don’t act on it negatively like go out and key and hurt their property or car ect just because one doesn’t have that. That is terrible. just be aware of the jealousy and maybe just work on self, and improvement to be a better person. Wish i could understand and help others too to understand.
@elisa. I think pretty much jealousy is a chronic treatable but not curable condition that can go into remission when life is going well and flare back up again when it’s not. No point in denying it, you have to feel your feelings. Some people use jealousy as motivation, some marinate in it and stagnate, others do a bit of both :). As long as you don’t as you said go out and hurt anyone it’s all fine :).
“I think pretty much jealousy is a chronic treatable but not curable condition that can go into remission when life is going well and flare back up again when it’s not.” – ComfortableDarkness
This old Scorpio with a square to an 8th House stellium Leo is having another ‘flare up’ … treat with care? treat with caution? My fearful natal Cappy Moon and sensitive Progressed Cancer Moon need some help.
I get jealous over people who can see what needs to be done in order to achieve something (like: I want a partner. So therefore, I am going to join a group, or a meeting… and I will find said partner) and then they DO IT. I become paralyzed. I know it’s easy to say JUST GET OFF YOUR ARSE AND DO IT, but it’s like I am absolutely stricken. I used to be able to do it, but one day… I just couldn’t anymore. I am jealous of those who can manifest. Inside my rational brain I KNOW THAT’S CRAZY, because (my brain says) it’s just a matter of BELIEF— CHANGE YOUR BELIEFS, YOU SORRY WANKER!
But so far, I seem to be stuck. Please don’t tell me I like it here. I am sad and jealous, and it’s no way to live.
dog8818, I’m sorry you’re experiencing pain. I feel exactly what you’re describing here. Have felt blocked from being able to manifest what I want most all my life. You can’t “just do it” until you work through the blockages which is hard as hell. Half a lifetime if not more goes into even beginning to get close to the “just” part.
Jealousy – what a complete waste of time synthesising that and coveting other. Go get it for yourself, if you want something someone else has badly enough, or let it go. It’s a mental straight jacket otherwise. Think of all the hours wasted navel gazing in this world which could be constructively given to others.
Im not a jealous person at all yet got called ‘the jealous type’ just the other day, she was in a foul mood and very angry (colleague who just resigned)…weird
Seems like people get jealous of different things..some talent , money, love, beauty..wonder if each of the signs have a different focus for the jealousy…I’m late Taurus sun/ Sag rising at 1 degree. Taurus makes me possessive and territorial..If you try to take what’s mine people have called it jealousy to me but I always thought no can’t be I don’t want anything that is yours but u just can’t have what’s mine . If I sense you are trying to take my man I get very territorial.