You may recall the authentically mysterious man who stayed with us about a month back. He was Trekking Through Life. I mentioned he was observant and insightful. He was also candid and at one point he made a remark about me.
He said I was trying to expose something and in fact, I was. He perceived my agenda and when he said this, I was instantly aware of how transparent it was. I felt okay about this. He wasn’t shaming or anything. In fact, I was glad he said something because, why? Food for thought of course.
That’s my mother in the picture. She’s ten years old so it would have been taken in the early 1940’s. The (birthday) gift bag says “Food For The Soul”. Well, food for thought is food for my soul. I had an impulse to ask him, “What else do you know?”
Today, I came across this remark, purportedly made by an unidentified CEO:
“What is he trying to prove? Everyone rises and falls on what they’re trying to prove.”
Well, trying to expose something and trying to prove something seem closely related to me.
I think this is worth considering. For example, at this point I am going to consider my agenda is transparent. If this is the case, I may also want to know what my agenda is!
I’m talking about being fully conscious of what I am attempting to engineer. Because when this man made the comment, he did not state what I was doing. I knew immediately what he was referring to, but I did not consciously know, how agenda had hijacked normal conversation.
What are you trying to prove (consciously or otherwise)?
What am l trying to prove? I dont know. I couldnt really follow what you meant…l know some people have been here for years. I dont have knowledge of the back stories– others do.
But a little bit of info. can be a problem like when l mentioned l worked at Theosophical Society Bookshop. I was not a Theosophist. I rejected most of their ideas but l learnt heaps from all sorts of books and all sorts of people. Probably saved my life.
I did grow up in a small country town; I always say where l come from. I learnt a lot and still value knowledge of the land but other things …no. Not so much. And it was not as wholesome as some think…too much secret keeping. Things done behind closed doors and closed mouths afraid to say…things l call evil. Certain ones protected. Certain ones always are…
Am l trying to prove something unconsciously? Maybe. Dont we want people to agree with us? Aren’t we confirmed in ourselves when they do?
I won’t go along with things l dont believe unless it serves a greater good…l have to be very careful here. Who gets to decide? Esp. if there is a hidden agenda. People who want power over others usually have hidden adgendas. It is called the long game.
But what about those who call it out? Those who challenge the ‘way it has always been done’?
Sometimes, l try to prove the value of astrology to those who think it too weird for words. And me too for saying it. I called astrology The Irrational Science to a Virgo friend.
I haven’t heard back. I think l spooked her because what is happening to her now is happening again. I know her history. Timing is everything.
I am sorry I wrote something else incomprehensible!
I was trying to say I was called out for having an agenda in conversation and stating that I did not realize it before it was mentioned.
I am also saying at least one person, an unknown CEO, looks at things like this to glean information about where a person it headed.
I said that I like to think about things like this. I also said I was going to try to be more cognizant.
Now I’ll say, I was called out in my home. When I talk to clients, I’m clear an what I’m saying and why. I thought of this today. It gives be a clearer idea. It’s more likely to happen, off the job.
There will be a focus on mental stuff astrologically, for the rest of the year.
I thought it was a good talking point, Elsa. You made me think and it was a good call in my opinion. I can be unclear. Miss a word and get very creative with spelling. ME/cfs can make me foggy too…so l thought l would ask. I am glad you put this out there for another reason…l cant express it now. Saturn bang on my asc. and all the rest…
I used to see clients at home too.l remember getting called out once by a client…The Bull in me would not let it go. 3 hours later and she took my point but only paid for the hour session (my fault– l had to prove MY point: l said l wouldnt charge extra ).Her Venus conj Pluto laughing all the way to the bank. I learnt a lesson. Say it and leave it. If they come back to you with the same thing: say it leave it…and charge them for the time spent explaining.
I love your blog. I see it as a room in a house where lots of conversations happen. It is big room.
It is a mental busy mind time. The mind needs jobs but not too many and not all at once.
It is winter here an inward thinking feeling time. Yesderday, l cried twice and feel better for it.I went to the art gallery and experienced an extraordinary piece of art. I saw myself as a speck of star dust.One unique little speck of star dust.
You do good work.
To be clear, it was not a client in my home. It was a visitor from Australia. Family to my husband though they’d never met and my husband did not know he existed.
The link takes you to the post.
I take it back. The client at home… Your home, my home doesnt matter. Never did. Meaningless details. Distractions from what is really being said. I wasn’t interested in the bloke who walked– couldnt give a damn about whose relative he was.
How does fear grow? It has a value. When people are afraid they are easily manipulated. Open to all sort of notions… Nodes are important.(A reversal for me. Coming) What needs to be re examined? What needs to be let go? What is mine? What is not? I will look back 18 years …ish. l will not support what l don’t beieve.
I believe in the possibility of alien life. The vastness makes it likely. My guess is They are way more intelligent than us.(l hope they dont think like us–we really are stuffed if they do.) Lizards in positions of power? (The Royal family aren’t going so great atm. what does this mean for world domination?) My TV is programming me– please…!!!(But things become habit– if we let them). I am waiting for the ‘channelled’ information from The Chosen one next. Follow the sandal. No, follow the sand shoe. Private Picses joke.
I wont be playing along. Although, climate change does make Earth nicer for reptiles AND amphibians. I work with symbols and metaphor too. There is a saying ‘Before enlightenment chop wood carry water. After enlightenment chop wood carry water’. Without the ordinary, meaning gets lost.
Now are you going to call me AI and cancel me?
Elsa, I got what you said!
It’s actually
Something I have been working on– how is my agenda (which even I may be unconsciius of till someone calls me on it, as your visitor did!) hijacking a conversation– or a relationship, or a group’s process?
also, I really deeply appreciate old friends who can call me on this AND still love me for my other qualties. I like to be challenged if it brings me to truth… even if it’s on the uncomfortable-to-painful spectrum
YES! That’s it. I was disrupting normal flow of the conversation, trying to drive it (Mars Mercury) which also means *control* it (Libra/ Cardinal) which is rude as hell, actually!
I get on the phone with a client with the intent to help them. I’m still driving towards something but it’s a conscious purpose. But in other circumstances I have an pointed agenda.
I don’t fully understand this yet. I’m continuing to puzzle it out.
They say
Awareness is half thebattle, I hope it’s true;)
Yes, it get it.
The ‘client’ l was referring to kind of did that to me– l had to wrestle them back. Part of her (the client’s) agenda was to to hear no criticism of her father who she described as completely loving and unselfish. She was wanting to convince me someone else was the problem.
I also appreciated your post for it stimulated good reflection. Your examples and descriptions were clarifying for me, especially for distinguishing how the unconscious and conscious operate when interacting person to person. You articulated well, to me, how it is for us who are plugged into (all the time!) the undercurrents, what’s going on below the surface, behind the scenes, the invisible (I believe I recall you stating having a packed 8th house; I have a grand water trine, Pluto in 12th, Jupiter in 8th) and we are always detecting and trying to make sense, or trying to put aside (for a break for god’s sake). Professionally, for me as a therapist, and I imagine for you as an astrologer, this intuition and “plugged in” capacity is a gift and skill that greatly benefits our clients, especially because they’re coming to us expressly and with their consent to use that skill for their benefit. Personally, this gift and capacity can become problematic because other people we encounter in our day to day may not want such a benefit, not interested, not consenting, and we then may be perceived as exposing, suspicious, nosy, inquisitive, etc.; however, we can’t just turn off being plugged in. That unconscious awareness is still operating, behind the scenes, below the surface, detecting, sensing, sometimes alerting us., keeping us up at night trying to make sense of what we’re experiencing. So, what do we do, especially in personal relationships? My lifelong dilemma…