Over the last couple days there have been a slew of comments that characterize Virgos as controlling. I don’t get this at all.
I consider the Cardinal signs to be the control freaks of the zodiac without question!
I have both Capricorn and Libra prominent. It takes one to know one! But for the people who think Virgos are controlling – please ‘splain to Lucy.
In my mind, Virgos communicate what is wrong with you and then go off to do their other work. Um…
Who is the control freak King (or Queen) of the zodiac?
Comments recovered – good morning!
Snapdragon and Loonsounds, thank you both.
I wrote a long piece explaining some of the background of relating with this man and then my net connection went into a brain fart and I thought maybe I best not try to re-write it.
I will be succinct and state that things came to a head over Astrology. He hates that I could see so much of the real him from his chart, and *paraphrasing* anyone can see these things. Of course there was a multitude of other issues, however this was apparently the most convenient way to create more distance between us and heartbreak for me. I have accepted this finally and have disengaged today.
I am a Virgo through and through and I am always accused of being controlling. Maybe I was at one point but through lots of work on myself and the return of my saturn I no longer am. However the stigma has never left me. I am analytical and I usually do know the best solution. If you have a better one then please share – if it is a better way (which of course I’ll determine) – then I will step down. I have no interest in controlling people – way too much work and what’s in it for me? But there are things I know – don’t you want to know them too?
Constantly being accused of being controlling….by my Scorpio mother.
Scorpio gets my vote.
Yes, Cecilia, Yes I do. Like I said on another thread, it is often a Virgo who has that last missing piece to an important puzzle which would otherwise never reach completion.
It looks like most of the people on this thread agree with you that Virgo energy is not controlling energy, per se.
The world SO needs you guys!
I have plenty of Libra and Cancer, and yeah, I know it, gotta hand it to Cardinals for control. My Libra/Cap stepmom and my Cap co-worker are pretty far gone in that area, too.
A shiny chicken?
…
Yeah we might be distracted by that. 🙂
Lupa’s point definitely seems to rule the day here…
It occurs to me that if a Virgo were to be controlling, they would be VERY VERY good at it. Comprehensively so, with a lot of attention to detail. Therefore a controlling Virgo would be a nightmare to deal with.
(A controlling Gemini could be distracted by shiny objects. Ooo, look, a chicken…)
A shiny chicken. MY BRAIN JUST BROKE FROM THE AWESOMENESS.
*wants a shiny chicken so bad now*
Chicken.
Shiny chicken!
Chicken.
http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j97/lupaloo/chicken.jpg
Shiny Chicken
http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j97/lupaloo/shinychicken.jpg
🙂
I’m a Virgo with a Libra ascendant. I don’t control you, but I can easily talk you into doing what I want. I obsess about being in control of myself though.
Ewinbee, you have everyone on a roll :o)
Funny, just never thought of chickens as shiny – when i first read it, i thought it must be some obscure joke.
Geeze, now i guess everyone will get themselves a nice, shiny, chicken. Good Grief. Imagine the racket.
Now look what you’ve started!
Next they’ll be wanting roosters…
There’ll be trouble then.
roosters are always trouble.
::insert-statement-about-always-wanting-roostereuphemism-here::
Who is the control freak (King, Queen) of the zodiac
umm…chicken?
Foghorn Leghorn?
Lots of good comments here. As a virgo i can totally relate to why people think we are controlling but for me, it’s not about control – it’s about efficiency. Why would I want to do something that I can inherently see the flaws in? My way is USUALLY faster, cheaper or more efficient. It pains me to have to waste energy when I don’t have to.
In my experience, Capricorns, Libra’s and Aries are the most controlling although I agree with the comment that it’s probably a behind the scenes mix of stuff that makes someone of any sign a control freak. I think having back end Scorpio is a bad thing because it’s so hard to be aware of your Scorpion traits and fight those black urges.
@satori:
….
hahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA….!!!!
“Funny, just never thought of chickens as shiny – when i first read it, i thought it must be some obscure joke.”
Snapdragon, Ewinbee and I are just being silly easily distracted Geminis and the idea of shiny chickens seemed pretty funny to me. I googled shiny chicken. *laugh* I do love chickens though.
Oh wow what a beautiful chicken!
LUZ THE CHICKEN.
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
Togi- Good comment. I refer to this as conservation of motion, energy etc. If you are going somewhere you might as well take xyz, right?
hmm…I don’t see Virgos as controlling, just perfectionist – always looking for the flaws, lol. I have several Virgo/6th house friends, and the best way I’ve learned to get along with them is to ask their advice. They almost always have something useful to contribute. Whenever I want to figure out what is wrong with something, I ask a Virgo and they are right on the money 😉
To control something, you have to be focused on the big picture, where something is headed. The Virgos I know aren’t much into big picture, but focus on details. Capricorn is big picture, planning, establishing order, ensuring security, success. If something doesn’t contribute to this end, Capricorn usually doesn’t care enough to try to control it.
But control freak? That seems to me controlling for the sake of being dominant, having one’s own way. I’d have to say either Aries or Scorpio. Aries loves to be dominant, first, best because it focuses attention on them (and they get to win). Scorpio dominates to have final say, determine the ultimate outcome, have the power to control the ends. Final vote: Scorpio
Geeze.
I’m starting to feel picked on.
Wow. It just took me like an hour to read through the comments.
Kashmiri, I’m with you – Virgos befuddle.
But I will say that having been engaged to a Virgo, just broken up with one, and now dating a double Virgo 🙂 . . . what some might think of as controlling (I’m Capricorn Sun), I actually find caring/nurturing/attentive. Like when my Virgo ex would remind me around my time of the month what vitamins to take and that I needed protein. When he kept the house immaculate and couldn’t go to bed with dishes in the sink. Or the ex-Virgo who took 20 minutes to carefully slice a mango in perfect squares.
It must be me, but I appreciate these things.
But, yeah, the new double-Virgo I think is secretly a Leo – closets full of clothes, bright colors, can’t pass a shoe shop or clothes store without him “running in for a sec” – claims he’s “lazy” (though he works 75 hours a week right now) . . . (his Cap rising is appealing). But I’m feeling so much Leo from him. Weird.
Snapdragon, Don’t feel too picked on, cuz while Scorpios may be controlling, they are definitely sexy enough to make up for anything … a thousand times over.
The guys that check me out seem to think so….
Heh Heh
I don’t know tho, I must have “stay away” written on my forehead.
Oh, and thanks Loonsounds!
Lupa – I’m ALWAYS looking for a reason to have a good laugh!
Did someone mention The Sound of Music?
“A teaspoon of sugar, helps the medicine go down….” (funny that song goes up and down as well)
Definately the cardinal signs and my good virgo friend who can be a bit controlling has a few planets in libra… 🙂
Haahhahahaha!!! My brother (virgo) and I used to agree that I could work out the plan and then he got to do the details.
“Tomorrow!” I would say, “We will go to the zoo! You’re wearing xyz! And we will eat before we leave!”.
And then he would come back with “We should have peanut butter sandwiches for breakfast! Because they are more filling! And we should leave at 8am because it will take us an hour to get there and it will get really hot around 12 – 1pm, in the afternoon we will see the monkeys and the bears because the monkeys are indoors (a/c) and the bears area is shady!”
“Right” I would say, “Whatever” “. . . Shiny chicken? Where?”
All the details were negotiable, he just picked out the ones which were best/most sensible. Meanwhile I was in Controoooooool! We still maintain this kind of dynamic, though I hardly ever tell him what to wear 😉
Foxxy- that is a hoot! Sounds like a good relationship too!
This was really interesting, and I’m shocked to see Virgos get a controlling rap by some overall.
On Libras, they don’t control outright, as that would be completely impolite. Libras disapprove. If you don’t seek their approval and can weather that pursed lip expression, then you’re in the clear.
I have a very strong Virgo and am married to a double Virgo. And we don’t have control issues…with others, that is. Ourselves, yes, we have some pretty tall expectations.
I think Virgos get misunderstood because of their natural desire to help. Virgos also tend to get agitated with things that don’t make sense and wasted energy. It’s uncomfortable for a Virgo to be exposed a mess-particularly in thinking, you know? Virgos want to set things right, and are more than willing to help you do it, if you’re open to the idea. So if a Virgo sees you missing something, s/he may well speak up. If you’re not interested, we may be a little befuddled by your clearly illogical decision, but it’s your life, you know?
I think it sometimes annoys others because we’re so often right. Ha! As I’ve matured, I’ve learned to save my opinion for when I’m asked…usually, at least. And I’ve been called the “reality check queen” by my kids, who say that I can be incredibly annoying with ’em. But c’mon! It’s not about forcing someone else to do what I think is right. It’s about pointing out what is so very clear to me that someone doesn’t seem to see. It is a gift, although at times unwanted. I have to remind myself that people may not want to see my picture, even if it is sharper and has more accurate detail than theirs.
And my Gemini Moon loves Shiney ANYTHING!
Cancer wins, hands down. Although my Scorp rising does a good job of it, when the right buttons are pushed!
Whoever came up with the idea to sing “Oh what a beautiful morning…” I got that song stuck in my head this morning or yesterday, and it would not go away Grrrrrrr 😉
Foxxy, your brother sounds Exactly like my Virgo rising mother. Every detail! But then she has the Aries Moon to kick in that extra punch to say “and this is the way it Will happen.”
I do have difficulty with Virgo sometimes. I appreciate that someone needs to be efficient. It’s just when they think that someone needs to be ME. Just because they value efficiency doesn’t mean I do. But I do see that they’re just trying to help, and they are just so good at the things they do that I can’t help but admire them.
I have a shitload of Cardinal planets. Just do NOT boss me around. There’s only one boss of me, and that’s ME!
Virgos are idealists but they’re also very much rooted into reality. From my experience they are control freaks because they seek perfection. I don’t think their need to control isn’t so much because they want to have power over others but it’s only because they want to match this image of the ideal. It’s different from the Piscean “ethereal” ideal as they are more earthly.
Without Virgo, the world wouldn’t be a better place 🙂 (And this is from a double Aries that ALWAYS gets into verbal fights with Virgos! HAHA!)
And as for the question of control-freak king or queen? I would love to say CAPRICORN because it is ruled by Saturn and Saturn is associated with FEAR. Capricorn is almost shielded too so they do their best not to blow their “cover.” However, I am not always sure of this and I don’t want to knock this sign… I just don’t happen to get along with most capircorns. I may be wrong.
I would say CANCER is a control freak sign… 🙂 I have a Cancer Moon and nothing is more powerful than cutting through every layer and targeting the deepest softest side of you. You get to the person’s weakness, you have them wrapped around your little finger. Cancers are great at evoking guilt tactics. Heck, I’m good at it. So good that I have to make myself conscious of this and STOP myself because this is bad. I only use my powers for good 😛 HAHAHA!
Libras? Tell me about it! As a 5 planets libra living now with 2 libra parents it’s HARD with my mom. She has cancer rising. Gotta say she’s usually controlling to save people’s feelings or to do the right thing but man is it annoying in HOW she goes about it. She doesn’t ask – instead she orders and manages. Well on a bad day. As a kid I would inwardly rebel which lead to depression as a teen. Until I finally did leave.
Miss my ex ex – he was pisces with saturn in virgo and moon in capricorn. He would kind of float but when he had to pin point a solution it was so bang on! Life was awesome with him. But when the moon would be in cancer hitting his uranus at 1 degree cancer and affecting his 10th house then all of his control would come out which I would counter with a practical solution.
It was the first relationship I entered understanding my own controlling side, managing it and instead working with his energy. And it rocked. But I do have to credit his flexible mutable energy. Even though my shiny chicken moon sometimes didn’t want all the order lol. But it did make life easier.
Well, I don’t know. My mother was the biggest control freak I ever knew, I mean seriously controlling and she was triple Virgo, with no cardinal to speak of except Pluto in Cancer. Although my father was also extremely controlling, he was Aquarius with a stellium in Capricorn, so maybe she was just doing to us what was done to her.
I call Capricorn on this one.
I think Lupa hit the nail on the head at #32:
“in the end we can all try to manipulate or control others and then the question becomes HOW does a Gemini try to control others or how does a Cancer etc…
Gemini will try to talk or charm you into it. Scorp might try to sex you up. Aquarius would probably play cat/mouse games to get you to come here or go away.”
———
I think we ALL manipulate and attempt to control something, someone, somewhere, somehow. The question becomes:
Are you aware where *you* do it? When? How? To who? Why? What’s good about it? What’s bad about it? And finally, is there anything you need to change ~in your own behavior~?
It’s that Hall of Mirrors thing – we all love to point the finger at the other guy. Projection runs rampant with this subject.
Personally, I do not know a single person who is not “guilty” of this (attempts to control). But there are people who see themselves more accurately than others (admit it). Some who are more overt about it, others who are covert about it (deny it to themselves and/or to others).
One last thing… I think it has to do with many “things” in one’s chart, and how these “things” all interrelate. It’s not as simple as “Libra this” and “Scorpio that”. It’s a full chart thing.
“Hi, my name is Strawberry Fields and I am a controlaholic!” 😀
Another thing to consider…
Being perceived as a control freak is also very dependent on the person doing the perceiving.
Long story short:
Incident on bike trail with Girlfriend #1. Incident happens, she blows a gasket and yells at me for being a Control Freak. Starts spouting off “You’re just like my mother… blah blah blah.”
Identical incident on another bike trail with Girlfriend #2. Incident happens, she thanks me profusely for keeping her from harm and possibly saving her life.
It’s (also) all in the chart of the *beholder*.
Different people have different triggers.
More memories popping up…
Nightmare Girlfriend #1 thought I was a Control Freak about just about EVERYTHING.
I do these same things now with Girlfriend #2 (now my fiancee) and she (often) thinks I am being HELPFUL.
Now this is not to get out of admitting I have “control issues”, because I have SERIOUS control issues, and I *know* it.
I just want to emphasize that the subject however is a TWO-WAY interaction.
I never took the cardinal signs to be controlling. Granted I’m not an “old astrology salt” by any means, but I always saw them as “the signs which initiate action”, ASSERT, or get things going.
If you’re standing on line at the bank and there’s a long holdup, the Libra is probably the most likely one to say “What’s taking so long?” – politely, with a smile of course, because Libra knows that you get more done when you’re smiling.
If the Libra doesn’t get what she considers great service, she might politely say “I’d like my money back.”
I work online, as you know. I can always tell who the Libras are because they start to drive me nuts after a while. Libras are all about communication. They really don’t know when the conversation ends, when to take ‘no’ for an answer.
Maybe the true cardinal role of Libra is to “get everyone talking” – put communication into action.
I would say that the Libra catch phrase is Just Do It. I don’t know if other cardinal signs feel the same way but that’s how I view life and don’t see myself as controlling at all, at least not the Libra part of me.
Libra is also, to certain degrees, an opportunist and a manipulator. If no one else is grabbing for the last donut, Libra will say “Is this anyone else’s donut” and if no one responds Libra will take the donut, but if anyone does, Libra will offer them HALF.
I think “control” is more of a Scorpio thing, I honestly do.
This post bears repeating! I have a Cardinal Grand Cross in Cardinal houses, Capricorn rising, Scorpio Moon, Mars square Pluto and Pluto in the 8th. After reading all of the posts, it seems my chart could be used as the “poster child” for control freaks. For those of you who feel they’ve been manipulated or controlled by someone with these influences (Cardinal, Scorpio/Pluto, Capricorn) how do you deal with these energetics without placating and ignoring the person in question, or amputating them entirely? I’m looking for tools that have been used successfully, the result being both parties feel acknowledged and respected. (Practical, lofty and fair – Saturn conjuct Neptune in Libra)
PS: What I mean by “manipulate” is that if Libra wants something from you, Libra will get into your mind and predict the most likely thing that you will respond to in order to give up said object.
Or Libra will use logic to justify why they did whatever they did. So if you react emotionally to something Libra did or didn’t do, Libra can “talk their way out of it” by appealing to your sense of logic. Kind of like a man who might complain that your emotional reaction is “irrational.”
But that’s just the way their minds work – Libra doesn’t FEEL the way other signs do. It’s much more natural for Libra to be unbiased and objective, seeing every side of everything. You know those ‘If “A” then “B” scenarios’ that they give you on logic tests? Or the circle diagrams where they go “If ALL sheep are white, and all rams are sheep, then ALL rams are white – yes or no?” Well, that is literally how our minds think… ALLL the time.
Libra doesn’t control for the sake of controlling. We just don’t care, and because of the unabiding sense of equality, we can’t apply different rules to other people that don’t apply to us.
Control comes out of fear, and I really don’t think Libra has that – not like Scorpio.
Virgo, your problem is you think you know the best solution and you dont. I was marry to a virgo man, and all the solutions needed to be follow as he said. I got tired of that, that’s is lack of respect to other.
My sun is in Virgo but my ascendant is Leo I find that many a times when people make mistakes I tell them so they know their mistakes… All the Virgos I know do that… But then there are these 3 people that I know who were born on 24th of Aug and they are pretty controlling and more like Leos. I could be a very harsh critic though!
I’ve also noticed that I somehow don’t point out mistakes of my family and loved ones.. Its very rare unless the blunder stares me in the eye and I am like I’ve gotta point this out
After my comment over a year ago. I have to say that Virgo man and Virgo Woman are both totally diffrent, like night and day. Nevertheless, They do share one thing, they are worry freak and they analize things too much. I have a girlfriend who is virgo and she worries wow, she say she doesn’t worry about things, but she keeps talking about what she’s worrying about for days.
And regarding Virgos. I think they are trying to be helpful when critizing and suggesting you make changes. My Virgo ex and a Virgo friend of mine have suggested things but not to control me or manipulate me but to adjust my life attitude in what they feel would be more positive for me. Sometimes I get mad and other times I will take the advice.
Isnt manipulation a form of control? I find Virgos very controlling. It definitely doesn’t just stop at, “hey, you’re doin it wrong” or even “heres how to fix it”.