Why Do A Person’s Relationships Always Fail?

football-widow-bann_791177cI worked with a gal who wanted me to look at the compatibility between her and her beau. The compatibility was quite good, but the individual charts were inordinately challenging.

I’ve seen relationships where one person was complicated, the other quite simple. I used myself as an example – I’m simple.  A person trying to get along with me might have an easy time…or they may be bored.

Two complex people can potentially get along as well. They may recognize the other as a peer.

If you do have a complex, challenging chart, it’s your free will that will determine how you fare in relationships, over time. Only the individual can actually juggle and manage their inner tension or conflicting impulses or desires.

Most people don’t do this.  They get others involved.  It stresses their relationships and they fail.

Anyone see themselves in this?

26 thoughts on “Why Do A Person’s Relationships Always Fail?”

  1. I gravitate towards simple people. I’m very complex. I like simple but not shallow. I find that simple people don’t get caught up in my own emotional comings and goings. They make me feel more secure. Somehow they still fail. Or more accurately, never get off the ground.

  2. If by simple you mean…able to trust and form attachments and not be overly conflicted about wanting to be with someone – yes I’m complex and other complex people feel like peers. It’s about how hard a person wants to work I think. I can’t imagine what the benefit would be for a simple person to have to work that hard to be in a relationship with me. I have to work hard to be in a relationship with me. It seems more likely a complex person would experience a benefit to being around that, being complex themselves.
    But I’m not sure I’m understanding what you mean by complex and simple in this context.

  3. Did you mean simple as in not having difficult chart aspects? For example I have a grand cardinal cross, with a mutable square on my angles, a yod with 3rd house pluto at the apex and my moon conjuncts uranus, saturn, and opposes chiron and vesta exactly. My sun and moon are inconjunct so I don’t easily project what I need. I’m not easy to get close to. A simple chart with perhaps more trines, less saturn, and pluto may bond more easily with others and not repel them due to square tension.

    Because I’m complicated I understand and gravitate towards complicated people but I’m transforming myself to attract more simple people or at least complicated people who have figured out how to balance their inner tension. That’s just what I took from this post.

  4. My husband is complex. He has a cardinal grand cross across the horizon of his chart. His Libra stellium gives him the drive to be acceptable and understanding. I have a cradle aspect pattern in my chart. Easy peasy.
    I think he is the one that keeps me on an even keel. It goes both ways. When his temper flares, I take a deep breath and respond calmly.
    Interestinq question. I’d not considered it.

  5. i like this article. I so agree! I’m a very very simple person, and honestly, although i consider my husband a genius he is very simple too, the way i like it. We like doing the same things, and are both pretty boring people, which is just fine.

  6. I have simple thoughts that turn complex… ; )
    I’m so attracted to the Scorpio depth the Virgo Intelligence, the lust of Leo and the emotion of Cancer. Now smush them all together and secrete. ; )

  7. My husband and I are both simple.

    My son is complex, but introspective. I can’t see him using others. It will be interesting who he gravitates towards. His best friend (since 3rd grade) is also complex.

  8. Both my husband and I are pretty much what you see is what you get. I’m Scorpio and he is Aries most of our planets are in our 7th, 8th, and 9th houses he is more antithetical I personally like to watch him think it is cool I can see the wheels turn. Has kept me going now for 18 years.

  9. All very subjective….wouldn’t you’all say…or has this lost ground???
    Dynamics with others and with our various parts are innately complex…. but hey if ‘simple’ is identified with maybe it’s because it is too complex to simply!
    Simple task, simple day, simple solution …simple human beings…….hmmm……not gonna happen!!

  10. I’m complex (NOT by choice, but by life circumstance) and have had my best relationship with someone equally or even more complex. It was a learning/healing relationship. Exactly what we both of us needed to move to the next level of evolvement. However, the relationship failed in the end. My fear is that someone simple would never get me, nor would I fully appreciate them. It’s a strange dilemma… I envy the simple. Wasn’t in my cards this lifetime.

  11. Just had a conversation with my boyfriend about this topic. I am simple. My boyfriend as he states is “Simply Complex”. He knows this because he knows himself well and I can simply understand when complexity shines. Relationships are much like a magnet, there needs to be an opposition for a magnetic field to become one.

  12. Because I am so very understanding I wind up in relationships that seem fun, then end up being complex. I stick around longer than most.

    Neptune in the 5th to boot.

  13. “Why a person’s relationships fail consistently”
    – result of past karmic tendencies- maybe have some stumbling block/ blindspot /shortcoming/ which not yet resolved ?
    (Maybe in next lifetime?)

  14. I’m simple and my last boyfriend was the opposite. I have no kids, no pets, no property, no mortgage, no car, no major possessions, no parents (no family ties except my sister)… I don’t even own a cellphone or a tv. A 5-planet stellium in Taurus in the 3rd is what I attribute my desire for simplicity to, opposed by Jupiter, which makes me at least reach beyond my comfortable, albeit narrow confines, giving me a strong sense of curiosity about the world, and years of post-secondary education.

    In contrast, my ex has 2 daughters, 15 years apart, from 2 different women, so he’s now in his mid 50s raising a 7 year old part time, sharing the duties with a woman he can’t stand, feeling trapped in a situation he feels he has no control over, trapped in a city he doesn’t want to live in.

    He loves spending money. His monthly budget is $6000, while mine is $1400. He owns two houses worth a million dollars each, in the most expensive city in Canada, plus a 25-acre ranch across the border in the US, 2 vehicles, and lots of stuff. He inherited a couple million from his wealthy parents, has strong attachments to his large extended family, and his house is full of all these antiques, books, papers, and photos that he inherited from relatives, and a pet for his kid.

    Despite all the stuff he has already inherited and accumulated over the years, he keeps acquiring more stuff. But it doesn’t seem to be making him happy. He’s depressed and on anti-depressants. His physical health isn’t great either. Although he sees a psychologist, he has trouble expressing his feelings, doesn’t seem to be very self-aware, and doesn’t know why he’s depressed. He has no spiritual faith either.

    In contrast, I have so little compared to him, yet I’m not clinically depressed. I’m happy with what I have — my very limited possessions (inexpensive second-hand furniture, nothing fancy), meagre income, cheap little rental apartment, my old bicycle to get around the city, my veggie garden, no family support, no prospect of inheritance, and my small circle of friends.

    I like living simply, being satisfied with and grateful for what I have, not always grasping for more or wanting something ‘better,’ and not caving into society’s pressure to add unnecessary complications and endless stuff to my life to fill the spiritual void. I think I’ll look for a simple-living, happy guy next time ’round.

  15. An acquaintance who is an astrologer said I am my own worst enemy. That I have a complex life – every favorable item on my chart is taken away. My first love was easy/peasy, but then we were in high school and college – broke up due to being too young to get married. My soul mate/second love, we have been crashing and burning under the transiting planets these past few years (especially Pluto in 7th sitting on his Saturn & Vesta and Saturn is sitting on his moon in Scorpio in his 5th and both our natal T-Squares are testing and limiting and in our faces along with the cardinal grand cross shining on them). I asked him recently if we were divorcing due to pride and stubbornness which we both have in spades. He said he made his choice and even though we both are miserable apart he was miserable in the relationship due to the work and financial pressures we were under that I brought home and he internalized. He wont trust me cos when he said he was done and wanted the divorce after the counseling we had wasn’t working I said okay too easily. I said I knew if I tried to tie him down and force him to stay and try another counselor it would make matters worse so I said I love you enough to let him go. (Remember if you love someone set them free…) He has since told me he didn’t want to be let go and given his freedom. He wont choose again, which I am willing to do. We are both proud and defensive on top of being supremely stubborn and I believe we’re making permanent choices from that (along with fear and lack).
    From what I have been reading here, if we could get back together I would have Elsa and Satori do a detailed consultation on us to help us get through the ups and downs that we on our own haven’t been able to master but are clearly written in our charts and in the sky. (we got together 15 years ago at the end of his first marriage).

  16. This wasn’t poorly written, I understand it completely!

    I am a birthday party, picnic, parade or a storm a brewing with some added features! HA….Complicated and feeling my feelings every second of the day. My husband is easy. Easy going and easily handles my overwhelming personality. He is the one with grounded control. God love him.

    I have had it both ways. A mirror personality and a very uncomplicated one as partners. When I was younger I went for the one that was on fire… today I don’t go near the fire. It has changed over the years. I wouldn’t have been interested in my husband when I was younger but today he a ground to my ever changing emotions. We balance each other out. When he is slow to move I light a fire under his ass and when I am all over the place he reels me in like a fish!

    We go together like a shoe and a sock!

  17. I would like to add in defense of any man that tried to have a relationship with me in the past, that I did learn from them and to say that they were are crazy or evil or even too complicated would mean I have not learned a thing about myself at all.

    What I now see is that I probably married people that were too much like me and I was being shown what was really wrong with within myself.

    I get it now. And I am grounded by a man who may or may not have a complicated birth chart but he has evolved into a mature person who is able to show me the right way to live my life…. if this makes any sense

  18. I am a complex person and I’m married to a complex person. We have most of our planets closely clustered together in Scorpio and Libra, all conjunct. We have a real bond and a deep understanding of one another, deep being the keyword.

    It is a peer relationship. I found someone that loves, thinks and feels with the same intensity and that wants to have a partner (his Libra Sun, my Libra Ascendant). Neither one of us has a problem with swimming in the deep end of the pool. We like it.

    My first marriage was to someone that was simpler and it just didn’t last. Even though he grounded me, I needed the intensity. (Scorpio Moon) I was too young to realize (only 19).

  19. I would hate to have to potentially upset elsa. but… I would like to air a point of view. For the individual and their chart the relationship is not bad. In fact nothing in the chart for that individual is bad. After all they are born with the qualities, have lived with them internally, and are used to them. hell, its a natural continuation from a past life (if you believe in that). Its only when one chart interacts with another chart that both problems and good things happen. Most have it the wrong way round and blame themselves and claim that it is this or that in my chart. Sorry. Not so. Its the interaction of charts.

    I went on this astrology course in the eighties and the teacher, said that he had come to the conclusion that it was natural to be fat as he had either a cancer ascendent or the sun in cancer (I cant remember which). He relaxed and accepted. I know that this does not exactly follow my arguement but, like him relax and stopping blaming yourselves and or your chart. Its all interaction and timing.

    Remember, there is also the transit and progressed and declination charts to consider. Which like meeting new people/charts also have a good and bad effect.

    Simple = less is more.

  20. I’m complex, and so far have not been able to maintain a long-term relationship. I have chosen people who do not compliment my Scorpio-Moon (7th house) apex planet of t-square (Uranus/Chiron). You know how people who have a Venus/Moon conjunction are usually sooooo compatible? Not when the Moon is terribly afflicted. In addition, I have a Sun/Saturn square, and a Pluto/Merc/Venus conjunction. Then there’s Mars at 28 Taurus… every man I’ve ever loved has come to tragic ends. Sometimes I think the writing’s on the wall (or chart)…. some people are not meant to have a relationship, for whatever reason. I do know that a more simple type person who can handle when I react emotionally would be best. But I’m 56 now… what are the chances?
    And when Elsa said “only the individual can manage their inner tension” – I would say this: until you stop drawing “circumstances” into your life where the “inner tension” becomes triggered (i.e., drug or alcohol addicts), and instead “settle” for a “boring” life where the inner tension is just that… inner… instead of being projected “outward”… you won’t be truly able to master your issues. I hope this makes sense.

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